This blog post is taken from my weekly newsletter, Pop of Positivity, which I send out each week. If you’re not subscribed, please do, so you won’t miss a thing!

I hope you had a wonderfully restful holiday this weekend with your friends and family and those of us in the US were able to take a moment to think about the men and women who gave their life in service to this country.

It’s so easy to take for granted all these sweet freedoms we enjoy, so I find it a blessing to slow down for a moment of gratitude for those who were so important in keeping us free.

For the past almost 6 years, I’ve sent out this newsletter every single week to you, my sweet Pop of Positivity Family. (And then posted it here on my website blog.) During that time, I’ve moved from writing primarily about leadership, customer service, mindset and positive communication to talking about midlife, and then even some about Pickleball.

That means you may be getting this email because you were interested in one of the above things, or if you’re a real OG, then you might be getting this because you heard me speak at a conference or event. (Thank you for sticking with me!)

All that is to say that for the month of June, I’ll be taking a break.

I’m headed to Europe for the month, and rather than just schedule weekly emails to go out, I’m going to focus on other things.

This break is in preparation for when I come back in July.

Upon my return, I will be offering you a specific focus for your weekly Pop of Positivity.

You will have the opportunity to pick which topics interest you most, and receive the newsletter and other offerings around that (those) topic(s).

The specifics are not yet concrete, but right now I’m thinking the topic areas will be:

—Mindset: You want to strengthen your mindset so you can live your best life. Whether taking care of your grandkids, working your heart out or having fun on the Pickleball courts. How we think about things impacts everything, and this newsletter will focus on how you can think to enjoy everything just a little bit better.

—Faith: You love the connection of faith and life and want more about how to do it seamlessly. This newsletter will help you deepen your faith in and strengthen your walk with the Lord.

—Travel: I’ll be doing a lot more traveling in the next few years (more on that exciting news later in the summer) so this newsletter will cover all things involved with traveling. From clothes to packing, flying, cruising, and how to do it all with even less stress and more joy. Of course, this will also include awesome places where I’m playing Pickleball!

I’ve also been toying with the idea of starting a VLOG on YouTube covering the same topics, so I’m excited to hash out the details. I should have more specifics for you throughout the summer.

So for now, I’d love to know what you are doing this summer! You can leave a comment and let me know.

And I’ll look forward to connecting with you again in July.

Until then, please feel free to follow me on ​Instagram​ as I start my trip in Barcelona, and be sure you’ve subscribed to my ​YouTube channel​ too.

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. A small favor: If you’ve purchased one of my Pickleball books, ​Dink Positive Thoughts​ or ​The World of Pickleball Word Search​, if you would be so kind as to leave me a review. I haven’t done much to get reviews for these books, but Amazon really depends on those reviews to share the book with other shoppers. It would mean the world if you would leave me a review! Thank you.

The post A Family Update appeared first on Christy Largent.

As you may remember, I started Cold Plunging back in the fall. I used my backyard pool starting when the water was in the 60s. As it cooled off and we got into winter, I kept at it, and as you might remember from this picture, “swam” all the way down to water that was 32 degrees!

Once the temperature started warming up (here in Texas, that happened sooner than I would have wanted) the pool started warming up, and by March, it was back up into the 60s.

Well, one funny thing that happened as I was plunging, was I enjoyed it more and more. So when I saw the “plunge season” was over, I started bugging my husband about putting in a cold plunge here at the house.

Side note: I did purchase a small blow-up plunge product last year, but the amount of ice it took to cool it off into the low 50s ended up being about $15-$20 a plunge! So that was a no-go.

Being the frugal type, my sweet husband found a local business, “SweatHouz” that offers both cold plunge and sauna. Bingo. So just 10 minutes in the car, and I can have both.

And I love it!

But yesterday, sitting in that 47-degree water, I really didn’t want to be there!

In fact, every cell in my body was screaming “GET OUT!!!!” Tingling legs and toes, labored breathing, spinning head. I didn’t want to be there.

But I knew something.

There’s a magic point that happens in cold plunging. Usually between 60-90 seconds in, as you’ve been breathing to control the shock, everything starts to calm down, tingling recedes, breathing calms, head clears. And then you are able to stay in as desired.

But you have to get through the tough part.

I tell myself to breathe, sink lower in the water, just stick with it a few more seconds.

And I do.

I stayed in a little less than 7 minutes yesterday. And when I got out I felt AMAZING!

And I knew my body was already reaping the benefits of sticking it out.

–Lowered inflammation.

–Strengthened immune system.

–More easily moving joints…and so much more.

So that got me to thinking…

Why is it I can stay in that water?

What are the simple steps I’ve taken that allow me to do something that many, many people tell me they can’t?

And even more importantly, how can I take that willingness to go through the discomfort and apply it to other things in my life? ie., not eating the cookie, or the ice cream, (or purchasing them in the first place) the moment I have the urge.

OK, so here’s what I’ve come up with:

–Notice the feeling.

That sounds really simple, but so often I’ll feel the discomfort but won’t I acknowledge it. I’ll either just act on it without thinking, or I’ll shove it away.

I’ve been doing a lot of work on noticing my emotions. In fact, I was so proud of myself because a few weeks ago when we had a window salesman in our house, he started putting the pressure on us to buy immediately.

I started feeling a lot of pressure in my chest area, so instead of just being uncomfortable, I actually put my hands to my heart and said out loud, “I’m feeling really uncomfortable right now with your pressure to make a decision. This is a big decision, and we’re not going to decide right now.”

Thankfully, he backed off, (and we certainly didn’t buy his windows!) but I noticed that just in saying it out loud, I had a lot of relief from that difficult feeling.

But back to the point at hand. When I have the urge, I think the first step is to notice it.

–Physically respond

For me, that’s breathing intentionally. As a singer, I have a lot of practice breathing well and with my whole body. But I’ve never used that skill outside when singing. But in the cold plunge, I have to physically breathe to calm my para-sympathetic system down.

So I’m trying to use that same calming technique in response to unhelpful urges. The next time I want to grab a cookie, I’m going to notice, then stop and breathe.

–Stick with my decision

I know that unless something really dramatic happens, I’m pretty much going to stay in for my 5-7-minute plunge. That’s the amount of time I’ve set for myself, and I know that those minutes will go by quickly if I just stick with it.

And sure enough, they do!

So maybe next time I get an urge, I can notice, breathe while moving away from the temptation, and just stick with that until the urge passes.

And then, hopefully, my habit of sticking with it will start imprinting, and soon, rather than the habit of “giving in” to the urge, the habit of noticing, then not giving in, will take hold.

I’ll keep you posted.

This life is definitely a work in progress!

What are you working on? What has worked for you in these situations?

Just hit reply and let me know.

Because, as always, I’m Cheering You On!

xo

Christy

P.S. If you want to learn more about the world of Cold Plunging, I highly recommend this book. It’s a GREAT look at the science behind it (by THE Expert in the field), plus, it’s a really beautiful book too.

The post What Keeps You Doing It? appeared first on Christy Largent.

This week I was talking with a friend about Pickleball (what else?!) and she said she would like to try it, but she thought she was just too old to learn how. (She’s 62.)

Several weeks ago, I was talking with another friend about her career ambitions. She said there were several promotion opportunities at her company, but she was afraid to apply because she thought she was probably just too old. (She’s mid-50s.)

What do you think?

Do you think that we can be “too old” to chase our dreams?

Do you think there is some magic time in our life where it’s just too late?

I must admit I’m a bit biased on this subject (as you might imagine!)

I changed careers when I was almost 40, and again when I was almost 60…and who knows what’s next…life (Lord willing) is long!

Additionally, my Dad is 84 and still speaking as a destination speaker (which he started doing in his 70’s) for top cruise lines. (This summer I get to go with him as his “plus one” as we explore the Mediterranean on the Celebrity Apex!)

He says his only concern is that “They will find out how old I am and not book me anymore!” Haha. I’m sure they know how old he is, and they also know he is one of their most highly-rated presenters.

So to my way of thinking, it’s not really about your age.

Age truly is just between your ears.

It’s about your desire.

If you desire to learn how to play Pickleball (and who wouldn’t?) go for it! Don’t overdo it, but why not try it?

If you want to do something different with your work, why not go for it? Legally, companies are obligated to consider you for the position no matter your age…

Trying new things no matter your age is a sure way to stay young at heart anyway.

The worst that could happen (usually) is just a “rejection”* or you will discover you don’t really like it after all.

Honestly, as we get older, I think it’s more important than ever to ignore the fear and do whatever you want to do anyway.

God has given you the gifts, talents and desires you have in your heart and it’s your joy to use them and explore them.

And the world will be better for it.

Love you and cheering you on!

Christy

P.S. What would you love to do? What’s holding you back? I’d love to cheer you on if you’ll leave me a reply and let me know! xoxoxo

P.P.S. *A great way to think about “rejection” is this…“Rejection is God’s protection.”

The post Are You Too Old? appeared first on Christy Largent.

Wow! What a lot of “things” are going on in this world right now. If you watch the news at all, it’s not good news for anyone.

Often, when I’m surrounded by negativity, I lament, then I think, “But what can I do?”

And it hit me, that the best thing we can do when everything seems so dark, is to be a light right where you are.

Jesus was giving the Sermon on the Mount and telling people how to live, and following that, he said this:

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

What does that mean? “Let your light shine before others...”

Maybe it means something like this:

— Taking flowers to your Jewish neighbor and telling her you are praying for Israel

— Responding with encouragement rather than an eye roll when your pickleball partner hits a shot out…again!

— Asking your teenager for forgiveness after snapping at him on the way to school *Ask me how I know about this!

— Making dinner for the millionth time, even though you don’t want to

— Running errands for your friend undergoing chemotherapy

— Getting together with other friends to pray for our families and this crazy world

— Taking time to have a nice conversation with the check-out clerk at Trader Joes

— Going the speed limit and letting that person merge into your lane right in front of you

You see, these aren’t big things. In fact, some of them are pretty small. But to me, when we live like this, we are being a light right where we are.

We aren’t waiting for some grand gesture.

We aren’t headed to our local campus to get in a kerfuffle with the protestors. (Although some of you may feel called to participate.)

But we are, in the nitty-gritty of life, loving our neighbor well.

And I think that’s being a light.

And that light brings hope to a dark and pain-filled world.

I hope this sparked something positive in you. And that you will be encouraged to let your light shine, no matter where you are.

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. If you’re looking for a fun Mother’s Day gift, why not give your favorite pickleball-loving mom, my ​Pickleball Devotional​ or ​World of Pickleball​ Word Search? You can click ​here​ and ​here​ to find out more. xoxoxo

The post What You CAN Do appeared first on Christy Largent.

Happy Wednesday my friend!

This week as I was thinking about what I wanted to share with you, it came to mind that one of the biggest joys in my life is something I haven’t shared much about.

Not because I don’t think about it, or because it’s in any way difficult, or it’s something I don’t think you would be interested in, but because it’s such a continuous part of my life, I just kind of forget it’s there.

What I’m talking about is reading.

Most of the time, I have 3-4 books going at the same time. And that will hold true until one of them really captures my attention and I plop myself down and read it until I finish it.

I did just that this past Sunday.

(Our book club is meeting next week, so I wanted to finish up our book, The Women, a novel by Kristin Hannah, and I picked that baby up and didn’t put it down until I got to the end. (I liked it ok, not great, but ok, IMHO.)

The thing with books and reading is it’s such an easy way to add joy to your life. Whether you like mystery (my favorite!) adventure, science fiction (Yuck!) romance, or a combination of all of these (would WOULD that be like I wonder) there is a book you will enjoy I promise.

So much better than watching our screens, reading transports you, reduces your stress, improves your vocabulary, enlarges your capacity for empathy (fiction), and even teaches you things you would otherwise have no idea of!

Plus, of course, it’s fun!

Now I’ve always been a voracious reader. I won reading awards starting in 1st grade and my favorite vacation (to this day!) is the week I spent on the Greek island of Corfu, alone, with just my sunscreen, sunhat and 23 books! (In the days before Kindle, I actually took a suitcase full of books with me!)

If you don’t like the actual reading a book part, I get it (sort of) but lucky you, you can find similar joy by listening to the books. My daughter is an audio learner, doesn’t really like to read, but does enjoy listening to books.

If this is an area you’d like to explore, you can do it easily and for free!

Just google where your local library is. Then go by and get a free library card. Then, you can check out paper books, ebooks, audiobooks, and even access thousands of magazines and newspapers via their online app.

If it’s been a while since you picked up a book just for fun, I’d encourage you to take this email as a reminder of the something magical that’s awaiting you just on the other side of the cover.

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

The post An Easy Way to Add More Joy appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s one of those miraculous spring days here in Texas with the sun shining in a cloudless sky, the air cool and perfectly warm, with just a hint of a light breeze wafting around your body… (ahhhhhhh.)

And it’s just that “Ahhhhhh” feeling I want to discuss with you today. That “Ahhhhhh” can easily turn into “Awe” and when it does, we’ll be all the better for it.

Psychologists tell us that cultivating wonder and awe are two ways we can all be just a little bit happier. Plus, living in awe and wonder helps us to take our eyes off ourselves, turn our attention outward, and even increase our creativity.

As you can imagine, allowing for space to find that wonder and awe can be a bit difficult in our crazy, overwhelming world.

Thankfully, you don’t have to go on a mountain adventure in Colorado to experience awe. (Although that would be wonderful too!)

It’s finding the wonder and awe in every day that helps you as you go through life.

Don’t wait for the grand moment, instead, you can seek them out little by little:

–While you’re driving in traffic, turn on a classical station and lose yourself in the mystery and magic of music

–When you walk outside to pick up the morning paper, slow yourself to look up into the sky, breathe in deeply, savor the fresh green all around you, and say thank you to a God who gives us all things lavishly.

–The next time you see a soft, round baby in the cart at the grocery store, don’t just rush on by, but stop and smile at that baby. Smile at the Mama and speak a blessing on that sweet family.

And that’s the beauty of it. Wonder and awe are all around us just waiting to be discovered…

Even these little things will bring you wonder and awe.

All of them are reminding you there are so many things much bigger than yourself.

And that’s a great starting point for enriching your life and helping you enjoy life more.

Until next week, remember, as always, I’m

Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. If you’re anywhere near the path of the total eclipse heading our way next Monday, I’d encourage you to take a break, get some ​eclipse glasses​, and go outside to experience the wonder and awe of this amazing world in action!

P.P.S. If this conversation about wonder is interesting to you, you’ll want to check out ​this new book ​by Philosopher Helen De Cruz. She does a really good job of discussing the transformative role of wonder and awe in this uncertain world.

The post Finding Your Wonder and Awe appeared first on Christy Largent.

Let me ask you a question…

When it comes to doing certain things in your life, do you do them because you want to do them, or have to do them?

Let’s take something like making dinner for your family.

I don’t know about you, but I’m responsible for the nightly dinner in our house. When my husband retired, he tried taking over these duties, but I didn’t like what he did, so I took that one back myself.

The thing is, I really don’t like cooking.

At all.

To me, it’s just a lot of time and energy for something that’s over with in minutes. I’d be just as happy (maybe even happier) with a bowl of cereal and toast. (Can you see why I struggle with too many carbs? haha)

Anyway, I just don’t like cooking.

I don’t like the planning, the grocery shopping…don’t even get me started on the Kroger app…the unpacking the shopping…the cleaning…the putting away…the pulling out and prepping…the cooking itself.

I do usually enjoy the eating…

And I really enjoy what happens around the table during and after the eating.

The conversation.

The laughter.

Even the arguments.

And most of all, I love how a full tummy and plenty of time seem to be a key that opens my son’s heart and mouth, and what happens in that golden time is often like a window to his soul.

I still don’t like cooking. (I know, this is just a thought, and I could change that thought if I really wanted to…I’m working on it…)

But I really LOVE what cooking that nightly dinner does for the relationship between me and my son and my husband.

So even though I don’t want to cook dinner for my family night after night. I try to do it at least 3-4 nights a week to get to what happens when I do it.

And suddenly, that “I don’t want to” thought becomes a “I get to” thought.

And as I’ve thought this through (last night was an unusually tasty and fun meal, resulting in my son and husband heading out for ice cream afterwards) I realize that there are many areas of my life, where if I would just push through and DO the thing I really don’t want to do, my “don’t want to” just might change into a “I get to,” and that sounds pretty good to me.

I hope you “get to” do more of what brings you joy this week.

Love ya,

Christy

P.S. I also “get to” write ​books​ about my favorite subjects, God and Pickleball. If you want to take a peek, ​here’s a link​ to make it easy for you. xoxo

The post Why I Do What I Don’t Want To Do appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s 80 degrees, sunny, and the humidity is still pretty low, and I have to admit I’ve been hit with a severe case of Spring Fever!

I don’t really want to do much but be outside playing in this beautiful weather….

But, clearer heads are prevailing, and instead of being on the Pickleball courts, I’m hard at work on my next book.

It’s going to be a short, fun, read called “The World of Pickleball” and will actually be a companion to my just released word search, which is called…you guessed it…The World of Pickleball Word Search.

I had so much fun putting that book together, I realized I’d love to write more in-depth about the topic. Every day new things are happening in Pickleball, so I figured now is as good a time as ever to dig a little deeper and put it out into the world.

It’s so easy to pass by the great for the good, isn’t it?

It would be easy for me to get sidetracked by the spring weather, or a last-minute call to play, or even heading to the library to pick up a book I’ve been waiting for.

And although all of those are good things, the better thing is sticking to what I planned for myself to do today.

Because although that book may not get a Pulitzer (in fact I can pretty much guarantee it won’t!) it will be a great thing for me to put in effort for.

I know this book will be something that will add value to the world. Something I will use my own unique viewpoint in writing, which will make it unique in the marketplace.

So I’ll count working on that book as a “great” effort on my part for the day. And the more of that I can do, the better it will be for the world.

What do you have on your plate today? Maybe today your “great” will mean a walk in the park to enjoy the sunshine. Or a play date with your grandchild. Or doing that work you are certain God has called you to do, and doing it fully.

Whatever it is, I hope you are full of joy as you do it.

Because working towards great is where we will find our fullest joy.

Cheering you on!

Christy

P.S. If you want to see what I’m talking about, here’s a link to my latest release. And here’s a link to my devotional I released earlier this year…xoxo

The post appeared first on Christy Largent.

Happy Monday from sunny Texas. My 16-year-old is off on a school mission trip to Greece, and my sweet 20-year-old is covering the amazing South by Southwest (SXSW) festival in Austin for her newspaper (The Daily Texan), so Tom and I are enjoying an unusually empty nest this week…changes all around!

It’s March! March Madness is just around the corner and my thoughts go back to watching my college Basketball team. Do you remember the excitement of a close game? Back and forth the score went…up by 3, then up by 6, then down by 4, then back up…it was so exciting!

And then in the final seconds, with just 2 points separating the score, your school’s favorite player grabs the ball, races down the court, stops at the top of the key, sets himself, lifts his arms and lets fly the most perfect net-swishing 3-pointer and the game is yours!

You scream and jump and laugh and hug your friends and scream some more. Your body is suffused with happiness and good feelings! Your energy is off the charts and you, along with all your friends surge forward as one, racing onto the gym floor to celebrate together.

Ahhhhhh – deep breath. It’s so fun reliving that moment in my mind.

And this, my friend, is the magic of fully experiencing your feelings. Your body becomes fully alive and you are completely immersed in the sensations generated by your thoughts.

Hmmmm. So what does that example have to do with your life today?

Just as powerful as your thoughts and feelings were back in college, they are the same today.

You think about all you have to do, and you’re suddenly so tired you can’t move.

You think about the last “discussion” (ahem) you had with your spouse, and you can literally feel your blood pressure rising.

You think about the odd comment the mammogram technician said to you this morning when you got your annual mammogram, and your breathing suddenly becomes shallower and your chest tight.

The key in all these examples is how powerful our thoughts are. And how quickly our body will respond.

So if you’re struggling with low energy, apathy, or lack of motivation, I suggest you might want to take a look at what you are spending your time thinking about.

Because when we habitually think difficult thoughts, or maybe we shut those difficult thoughts and feelings down with buffering behavior like eating, drinking, shopping or gossiping, we are shutting down the energy flow.

Just like the energy flow of positive thoughts is overwhelming and all-consuming and like a supercharge to your system, the effort it takes to stop and block the difficult feelings is like a huge, heavy, wet blanket for your energy.

So the next time you’re feeling sluggish, try these quick fixes:

–Step outside and walk 50 steps in either direction…bonus if you move your arms and clap your hands and smile at the sky. Think about the beauty all around and the gratitude you have for being able to move.

–Stand up from your desk, take a deep breath in, lift your arms and eyes to the ceiling, smile big, and say “thank you” out loud…then let the air out, drop your arms, and repeat several times.

These simple physical movements can refill your energy tank and get you back on track.

Then, the next time you feel yourself wanting to go eat, (my issue), drink, scroll, shop, or whatever your buffering actions are:

–Sit still, take a few breaths, and look deep to see what feeling is actually happening inside. I feel my difficult feelings in my chest and am often overwhelmed with the need to get up from my desk and head into the kitchen when I feel an uncomfortable one…I’m working on sitting still to actually identify what the feelings are.

–Then take another deep breath, let the difficult feelings flow and write down the name of the feeling and the sensations I’m experiencing. Shortness of breath, tight chest, upset stomach, buzzing in my ears…how do your difficult feelings present? There’s almost always a physical sensation to match them all.

–Sit still a moment longer…and often you’ll discover that once you let yourself actually feel the emotion and you identify the physical experience of that emotion, you can be curious about the sensation, and soon the emotion is actually gone.

You didn’t die. Nothing really happened except you allowed the emotion, experienced the emotion, and then moved on.

If you regularly allow yourself to do this exercise, you’ll learn a lot about how your body responds to emotion.

You’ll discover what thoughts generate the various feelings you have, and you’ll learn to notice when your body is telling you something your mind hadn’t even registered.

It’s fascinating, isn’t it?

I hope these little suggestions are helpful for you. The world needs you at your maximum energy output! So put these into practice and let me know how it goes.

Love you and Cheering you on!

Christy

The post How to Find More Energy appeared first on Christy Largent.

This morning I was interviewed for a midlife summit, and we were talking about things that hold us back in midlife.

I actually think these things can hold us back no matter where we are in life, so I wanted to share a couple tips with you too.

If you have a feeling something just isn’t right, maybe now is the time to take a look at what might be causing you to pause.

If you love things fun and exciting all the time, your fears could be:

• Boredom
• Difficult relationships
• Not being liked
• Too much drudgery

If this sounds familiar, you might want to try:

• Take action, don’t just dream about it.
• Add some fun to what you’re already doing.
• Look to experts to help you with the areas where you struggle.

These behaviors can get you moving forward towards something better.

If you love perfection and everything being planned out, your fears could be:

• Not enough resources
• No time to plan properly
• Not enough details

If these sound familiar, you might want to try:

• Setting deadlines for decisions and completing research
• Include close friends in your decision making
• Look for ways to contribute — even imperfectly

It’s by taking these small and effective actions you’ll be able to move forward.

If you love being in control, in full motion, and achieving everything you’re capable of, your fears could be:

• Losing control
• Uselessness
• Invisibility
• Loss of meaning

These fears can really sabotage your efforts, so you might want to try:

• Re-evaluate your current efforts
• Recommit to your relationships – they are maybe even more important than your work
• Remember it’s the journey, not just the destination
• Find ways to share your expertise

These behaviors will definitely get you moving on the right track.

And finally,

If you find yourself seeking peace at any price, wanting a conflict-free environment, and procrastinating in many areas, you might fear:

• Too much pressure and conflict
• Too many expectations
• Lack of opportunity for relaxation

So the best way to avert these is to:

• Explore your desires, what do you really love?
• Stop procrastinating…rarely is it as bad as you imagine
• Look for opportunities to collaborate with others

These simple moves can really help you on your way.

I hope this simple discussion will help you as you seek to live your best life.

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out, because, as always, I’m

Cheering you on!

xo

Christy

The post Ready to Start Something New? appeared first on Christy Largent.

The day of LOVE….ahhhh.

In 6th grade, I was in love with Russel Roberts. I thought he was just the cutest thing ever with his sweet smile and floppy brown hair that hid his chocolate brown eyes.

I was definitely in the “friend zone” for him, but I was sure that one of these days he would see me for the great beauty and love of his life that I was sure I was. Sigh.

I remember I found a Valentine’s gift to take to him on the BIG day…

I’m not sure why I thought giving him a pair of red heart boxers would be a good idea. But I wrapped them up and took them with me to school.

Thankfully, I chickened out at the last minute from giving them to him, so he never knew how crazy I was about him until we met at college and the tables had turned. Suddenly HE was the one wanting to pursue me. Ha! Ha!

It’s all about the expectations.

Whether it’s for Valentine’s Day or life, the way we set ourselves up – our expectations makes a big difference.

Do you have “realistic” or “unrealistic” expectations?

I’ve had this conversation multiple times with my girlfriend Jennifer.

She’s someone who naturally sets low or “realistic” expectations for herself so she is not disappointed.

I, on the other hand, routinely have rather high expectations, and sometimes I’m disappointed, but other times I’m delighted!

I believe there’s something bigger that happens when we hope for the best.

When we look and hope for the best, we’re setting ourselves up to find the good side of whatever happens.

When we expect the worst, many times, that’s what our brain finds.

So may I challenge you to look at the way you’re handling expectations in your life.

Are you looking for the best, or expecting the worst?

Whether it’s that Valentine’s “gift” you’re longing for, or the job opportunities that seem just out of reach, by setting your mind to look for the good, indeed, expect the good, your brain will do its best, to find it, no matter what the actual outcome.

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I do want to say I love you! I’m thankful for you! And as always, I’m cheering you on,

xoxo

Christy

P.S. If you need a last minute gift, I happen to have a ​cute pair of heart boxers​ for you! Hee! Hee!

The post Tell Me About Your Expectations appeared first on Christy Largent.

Let me start with a question…

Did you know that your brain will find exactly what it expects to find?

Or put another way, did you know you get exactly what you think about.

So often in life, without even knowing it, we find ourselves creating just the future we don’t want.

For example, (and this is a silly example) I say, “I always get all the green lights.” My husband says, “I seem to always hit the reds.”

And guess what? I do get the greens, and he does get the reds.

But the truth of the matter is, statistically, we both get around the same amount—ish…

And even though statistically we should get the same, it doesn’t seem that way at all.

Because I notice when I get the greens. Just this week, on the way to school dropoff, I’ve gotten almost all greens 2 different mornings!

I think I perceive I get more greens because I NOTICE the greens. And I comment on getting the greens. And I do a little happy jig in my seat when I get the greens. And I look for the opportunity to get the greens. And when I get the reds, I almost always say, “That’s strange, I usually get the greens, or “I’ll bet getting this red is keeping me from something horrible if I had gotten the green.” (Reframing!)

Do you see how this silly little example plays out over and over in our lives?

We get what we’re looking for. And whether we actually do get it or not, our perception and our expectation is that we will get it, therefore, regardless if it’s an actuality or not, we enjoy the positive expectation and personal reality that we “get the greens.”

Our brains are wonderful gifts from God. They work like homing pigeons looking for what we program them with.

I’ve programmed my mind to look for the greens.

And I’ve programmed it to look for beauty.

And I’ve programmed it to look for lots and lots of good in everything. (Even when bad things happen.)

So because I’m looking for all this good, I’m so much happier and more optimistic in my life.

You know it works the other way too…when you look for and expect the worst, you will get it.

What do you want?

Do you want to get the best?

Or do you want to set yourself up for the worst?

The good news is that you get to choose! You get to decide if you will program your brain for “the greens” or “the reds.”

If you need a little help with this, may I recommend (ahem) my new book, ​Dink Positive Thoughts​. Even though it’s written for Pickleball players, it will help you retrain your brain to look for the good and think positive thoughts in your daily life. You can order your copy by ​clicking​ ​here​.

And if you have already gotten the book, THANK YOU!!!, and please, please take a quick minute and ​leave a review.​ It would mean so much to me since Amazon gives priority to showing books that are selling and that are getting reviews…so thanks in advance!

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. ​Here’s that link​ to either order the book, or leave a review. Again, THANK YOU so much!!!

The post Getting What You Look For appeared first on Christy Largent.

This semester in my Bible Study we are studying the books of Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon from the New Testament. We’re starting in Philippians.

This week, Paul is writing from Rome, where he is in prison, literally chained up, to his church family in Phillipi.

He’s talking about how the church in Phillipi should stay encouraged by staying unified in Christ, and that they should, like Christ, look for ways to serve each other.

Then he reminds them to keep doing the good works that they know to do…and to continue to do them without grumbling or arguing.

—–

Way back in the day, when my kids were in Pre-K, the teachers taught them 2 simple sayings.

The first: “Delayed obedience is disobedience.”

(I still use that one from time to time with my 16-year-old!)

The second: “Obey with a happy heart attitude.”

This week, as I read this passage from Philippians 2, I was reminded of these sayings and I was kind of convicted.

Do I go through life doing what I’m supposed to be doing, (loving and serving) with a happy heart attitude, or am I grumbling and complaining?

It’s so easy to get sidetracked and head down that negative pathway, isn’t it?

Things like time pressures, disappointments, and even fear of the future can set us off. Then, instead of working with a happy heart attitude, we’re working from a place of arguing, whining, disagreement, and negativity.

The good news is you can change at any time.

When you catch yourself arguing, complaining, moaning, groaning, and just generally being ungrateful for your life, stop it immediately!

Recognize you’ve fallen into an unhelpful thought pattern, and notice instead, all the good around you.

–Take a moment to be thankful.

–Look for the good in the situation.

–Determine if there’s a way to serve humbly, then get busy!

Philippians 2:14-15 says, “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. ” (NLT)

Do you want to be a light in this dark world?

Do you want to live life with a happy heart attitude?

Later in verse 16, Paul says to “hold on to the word of life” and I believe this is the way we are able to live with that happy heart attitude.

We hold on to the truth we know from the word of God.

We think about things that are good and pure and truthful and loving and kind and generous.

And in this way, we live as children of light with a happy heart attitude.

And just think how much happier we will be, and how much better off our world will be.

All because we purposed to live with a happy heart attitude.

Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. If you want to hear a really “catchy” (ear-worm) song from this verse, here’s Steve Green’s version. I used to play this song when I babysat back in the 90’s…and I have never forgotten it. You’re welcome.

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It is a cold and rainy, drizzly Wednesday here in Dallas. Brrrrrr. Not as cold as last week (when I swam in my pool surrounded by snow!) but still so cold I’ve almost forgotten what hot feels like! (Which is saying a lot here in Texas! Hee Hee)

But the first thing I want to say today is a huge thanks to all who have purchased my ​Pickleball Devotional book​ I wrote about last week. Thank you!!! Your support means so much.

Anytime you put something out in the world, there is risk. When my son turns in his homework, there’s risk. His teacher may say he worked the formulas wrong, missed the point of the essay, or fell short somehow of the assignment.

And when we put things out there, we run the risk of negative response as well. Just because we’re not getting “graded” doesn’t mean we’re not running the risk.

So when I told you about my book I had FINALLY finished, I knew there was the risk of a negative response.

From you and my marvelous email friends, from my other friends, from the pickleball community at large…

and yet,

Aren’t we compelled to run the risk anyway? What good are all our gifts and talents if we’re not sharing them with the world?

When God created you, he created just ONE of you. Only you can offer to your family, your community, and the world, the special gifts that only you bring.

I have a friend who is a marvelous cook. She has honed her rough talent for pulling together family meals, into an art due to lots of training and practice. She blesses me with each tip she shares and each meal we enjoy.

I have another friend who teaches pickleball. I’m soooo thankful she’s sharing her hard-learned skills (via 40 years of tennis turned pickleball expertise) with me each week.

And yet another friend is a marvelous artist. She creates amazing watercolors that bless me each time I get to see the fruit of her labor.

What is your gift to share?

It may not be a book, or a course, or a piece of art or a delicious dinner. But I guarantee you have something you were made to offer to others.

So if you’re not sure, may I encourage you to take some time over the next few weeks and make note of these things…

1. What do you really enjoy doing?

2. What things do you spend time doing where the times seems to fly by?

3. What do other people (unprompted) compliment you about?

4. What do you find yourself doing when there’s nothing else to do…but you are drawn towards it over and over again

5. What’s super easy for you to do? (Like falling off a log easy?)

Then pay attention to all these different things. My guess is that you’ll start to see some patterns emerge over a few weeks.

Then, I’d encourage you to see if you can find ways to incorporate more of these things into your life over and over.

You will be able to get more joy, and give more joy, and your life will be happier and even more full of meaning.

And suddenly, the risk holds not quite so much risk anymore because you know you’re doing exactly what you were made for.

Here’s to a great week ahead!

Love you, and as always,

I’m Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. Here’s ​a link to my newest book​ that I talked about last week. Do you know anyone who would enjoy it? It’s a great gift for sure.

The post Your Gift to the World appeared first on Christy Largent.

I’ve spent the morning working on my Amazon Author page, refining the book description and all the tags and stuff that goes on when your book goes up on Amazon.

Normally the publisher would take care of all this behind-the-scenes stuff. And since I’m self-publishing, that means I’m the one doing all that!

Thankfully, I found a person to help me with the formatting, etc., but ultimately, I’m the one who writes all the content and that includes all the marketing stuff.

I tell you this because as I was working on my “About the author” page, I was reviewing the pages of other authors I love. I’m an avid reader, so there are quite a few writers I follow and enjoy, so I thought I would take a look at how they did their pages.

(They all have expensive publicists and marketing people who do this stuff, so I was hoping to gain some best practices ideas to use myself!)

What actually happened surprised me.

I got caught up in comparison and it stole all my excitement and joy right from me!

Because I don’t have…

Well, you fill in the blanks.

All the things I don’t have suddenly became way more important than what I do have.

And I found myself wanting to head for the kitchen…(being honest here)…

But instead, I got back to my own page. And I remembered why I wrote the book in the first place. And I refocused on my future readers and what they need.

Suddenly, what I didn’t have became a lot less important and I was able to fill in what I did bring to the table for my readers.

If this story sounds familiar, it probably is.

Because comparison is the thief of joy and we have all been its victim at one time or another.

So today, if you are struggling because everyone else has started their New Year’s Resolutions and you’re still trying to write yours down….

Or everyone else is … (You go ahead and fill in your blanks)…

Because I know if you will just forget about them and focus instead on what you are supposed to be doing, your joy will return and you will be happier.

Hoping this encourages you some today, because, as usual, I’m here,

Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. Dink Positive Books: A Pickleball Devotional really is almost finished, and should be up on Amazon by this time next week. I’ll order a sample book to make sure the printed version looks ok, but I’m guessing by 2 weeks from today you’ll be able to order your own copy!! Yippee!!

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My family and I are taking a little vacation from Texas and enjoying all the beauty of Tennessee.

While we are here we are visiting the Smokey Mountains, trying new restaurants and enjoying the cold weather.

We’re also contemplating the New Year and envisioning what we want this next year to look like.

Our daughter will be graduating college, our son entering his senior year of High School and we know that more quickly than we can imagine, it will be time for something new in our lives.

So I think this New Year is the perfect time to consider baby steps of trying something new.

Are you up for it?

Are you someone who seeks out new adventures and opportunities or someone who wants to stay where you are?

There’s really nothing wrong with the status quo…as long as it’s intentional!

If you’re staying still or treading water because you want to…good for you! Enjoy!

If you’re doing it because of fear of the unknown…well, I’ve got an encouragement for you.

Maybe this is the year you step out and try something new and fun.

–A new volunteer position.

–A new job.

–A new hobby (Pickleball anyone?).

–A new friendship.

–It could even be as simple as a new book.

The common denominator all these have is that these actions are moving you towards more of what will make your life fuller and richer. More of what you were put here on earth to do/be.

Let me encourage you to take the step this week. I promise, it will be worth it!

Cheering you on…with a southern twang,

Christy

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I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Ours was full of family and food, which means I’m currently swearing off both…just kidding!

It was actually really delightful and I learned a new (to me) game called Mexican Train that kept us all entertained and laughing as we “worked” off our Christmas dinner.

Learning new things is such an important part of life, isn’t it? Whether it’s a game with your family or a new skill, keeping your brain busy with new information is one thing I want to do more of in 2024.

Speaking of…you know that saying “Out with the old and in with the new.”? As we finish out the year this week, I’ll be reviewing what I really liked about 2023, and what I want to do differently in 2024.

I’ve been working on this review for several weeks now, and it’s been such a pleasure to realize there were quite a few areas in my life I made real progress in this year.

In the past, I would often set new goals for the New Year without taking stock of the year past. So this exercise this year has been very helpful in preparation for the year to come.

May I encourage you to do this exercise in the next few days and see what pops out? Ask yourself these questions to get going:

–What did I really enjoy in 2023? (What were the highlights of my year?)

–What do I want to do more of in 2024?

–What goals did I accomplish in 2023 and how do I feel about that?

–What went right with my relationships?

–What relationships do I want to work on, and what am I going to intentionally do about them in 2024?

–What areas did not turn out the way I planned in 2023 and what will I do about that in 2024? (Dropping them from your list is always an option.)

Finally,

–What am I looking forward to the most for 2024 and how am I going to get that ball rolling in this New Year?

As I wrap up this last letter of the year, I’ll leave you with our family photo. My family is always at the top of my gratitude list. For so many years I wanted nothing but to be a mom, so even when things are challenging, I still am so grateful for the answer to prayer of my children…

Happy New Year!

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Today I’m busy baking cookies to take to the neighbors. Thankfully I’ve got my Amelia home from college and helping me, so I’m in safe hands. (She actually FOLLOWS the recipes!) Hee hee.

As we wind up our year, I wanted to address a powerful word you can use to help you finish strong and set a good intention for next year.

And that is the word “yet.”

As in, “I haven’t finished my book…yet.”

or

“I’m not at my goal weight…yet.”

or

“I haven’t started the remodeling project…yet.”

The power in that one little word is just amazing!

Instead of just thinking about what you haven’t done, or haven’t accomplished, or haven’t received, by adding the word yet, you tell your brain the story isn’t over.

Lord willing, we will all have time to let the “yet” work its magic.

Let’s look back at the above examples:

“I haven’t finished my book yet,” tells my mind that it can keep working on the project and that it WILL be finished at some point. The story’s not over…yet.

“I’m not at my goal weight yet,” tells my mind to not give up. Go ahead and go for that walk, say no thanks to the cookie and put away the phone, and go to sleep. The story’s not over…yet.

“I haven’t started the remodeling project yet,” reminds me to keep it on the list. To look for ideas and make a budget and make note of the colors that I’m drawn to. The story’s not over…yet.

This year, maybe you can think of some things you thought you missed, or “failed” at and instead of giving up, you can add the word “yet” to the thought and see what happens.

You might be surprised at how your brain comes up with creative ways to move forward on those thoughts.

I can’t wait to see what good things emerge in your life because of it!

Love you and Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. My book is finished and I’m working with a professional to help me get it formatted and listed on Amazon. I’ll let you know as soon as it’s available…hopefully before the end of the year!

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August 14th I started my workout journey with a professional Pickleball trainer. (I know, it’s not a joke, it’s a real thing!)

My trainer,  Connor​ has been sending me workouts every morning via his app. The app includes examples of every exercise. How to do them, what repetition, what weight, and in what amount of time.

I follow the plan.

When I started, I could barely do 1 pushup on my knees (things had gotten BAD!), my knee hurt all the time, and the stretches he had me working on were, let’s just say, not performed to specification! (Ahem.)

BUT…

The good news is that after consistently working out 5 days a week, I’m really making progress.

I can do 5 strict pushups, 20 on my knees, squats with weights, 15 lb dumbbell curls, and a whole lot more, including those all important stretches.

Day by day I’m getting stronger, not to mention the cardio work we include as part of the plan.

I tell you this by way of encouragement.

Sometimes everything feels too overwhelming, and rather than do just a little bit, we just want to ignore it.

But if we take what I’m learning with this training, and apply it, we can all make a little progress each day.

Even during the holiday season.

–Got a project you’ve put off until January because you’re just too busy? Maybe set your timer for 10 minutes and see what you can get done.

–Want to plan your summer vacation, but you’re overwhelmed? Why not set your timer and take 15 minutes to explore travel websites for ideas?

–So tired you fall into bed every night, only to remember you never made time for exercise? Why not take a quick 30-minute walk after dinner rather than sitting on the sofa?

Often in life, change or improvement, or making our life better isn’t really as hard as we make it out to be.

Let me encourage you to take a baby step on something today. I promise it will be worth it!

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

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Here in Texas it’s been so HOT I was afraid to buy pumpkins for the front porch.

(Heat + Pumpkin = Stinky Mush!)

But it has finally cooled off, so I’ve decorated and it finally looks like Fall around here!

On another note, have you noticed that the journey to mastery is a complex and non-linear one?

When I learned flute way back in elementary school, I had to master the scales first. Playing beautiful music was the desired outcome, but the only way to get there was to master the scales so I could play whatever key was required easily and without too much “thinking.”

As I was reminded when my son learned clarinet, the road to mastery is filled with missed notes.

It’s the same in Pickleball. I’ve got to drill the basics, the “dink,” “drop,” and drive,” to such a level that when I’m playing an actual game, these shots become automatic. And even with this practice, I’ll often miss more than I make in a game.

It’s a mixed bag getting to a higher level.

In life, there are a lot of ways this plays out…

For example, you may read a book on communication skills so that when you get into a difficult conversation with your husband, you’re able to have a productive conversation.

But sometimes the conversation with your husband isn’t productive.

Or you practice some cooking basics like chopping and….well, I don’t know what else actually because I’m not much of a cook, but there are probably some “chef-like” skills that would be helpful if you wanted to cook a gourmet meal!

And yet, the table to master chef is filled with inedible food.

This is the truth…when learning new skills, the line to accomplishment isn’t a straight uphill arrow. It’s up and down and up and down and if you stick with it, there’s a gradual movement up and to the right.

So if you’re learning something new, don’t be discouraged if you’re making mistakes and it seems like it’s taking longer than it should.

Keep practicing the basics, getting better and better, honing your skills, and sharpening your knives.

And enjoy the journey along the way. You may never be the “best” at your chosen thing. But you will have had many amazing experiences that enrich your life along the way.

Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. I’d love to know what you’re working on. What area are you practicing right now? Just leave a comment and let me know. xoxoxo

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This week I’ve been head down and digging deep to make progress on the gift book/devotional I’m writing.

It’s centered around how we can live out the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.)

The plan is to get the devotional up and available for purchase on Amazon by mid-November. (Just in time for holiday sales!)

This is a devotional for Pickleball players who want to do better managing their mind. It’s called “Dink Positive Thoughts.” (A dink is a foundational shot you hit in Pickleball.) Each short devotional will have a verse, commentary, a prayer and an affirmation to practice.

In light of everything that has been happening in the world this past week, I wanted to share one of the devotionals I wrote with you.

Right now I feel somewhat helpless in the face of all this world strife.

But one thing I know is that we have a God who cares. Who loves the people of Israel. And loves us too.

So even though the following devotion is focused on Pickleball players, I want you to think about the ideas I’m sharing and see how you can apply them in your own life – whether you are a Pickleball player or not!

——————————————-

Love – 1 Peter 4:8 TLB

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults.”

***

Most important of all…show deep love. This is so easy to say, yet can be so difficult to do. Especially when we are out on the courts. Our partner makes some dumb shots, they mistakenly call an out ball in, or they hog the whole court leaving you feeling left out.

I don’t know about you, but when people act in “human” ways, I often want to scream. And act snotty. And get an attitude.

Instead, the next time we are tempted to get irritated with our partner, do the opposite. Speak words of encouragement. Cheer their good shots. Physically, turn towards them at the end of the point rather than away from them.

In this way you will be putting love in action…and making up for many faults.

***

Prayer: Lord, help me to be your light shining love on the court (and in this world) regardless of the situation. Let me love like Jesus today.

***

Affirmation: Today I will look for and find ways to show love in action. I will shine the light of Jesus on the Pickleball courts and in my community.

———————————–

Dear one – know you are loved and prayed for. I appreciate you and am so thankful you are reading this. If I can be of any help or encouragement to you today, just leave a comment and let me know.

Cheering you on,

Christy

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I have a quick question for you.

Have you noticed that as we get older, it’s easier and easier to focus our attention inward?

I mean, my knees ache now more than they ever did. And if I don’t get my 7 hours+ of sleep, my thinking is a little fuzzier.

On the plus side, I care less about what other people think, so that’s a relief.

My kids require less time and attention. My work is flowing. I can focus more and more on what I want to do.

But overall, all of this thinking is about myself.

There’s a danger there.

This week in our Bible Study we were reading in Ephesians where the Apostle Paul encourages us to “bear one another’s burdens.”

There was a marked focus on loving each other in their community in real, tangible ways. Ways that helped to lighten the load.

And I was challenged to look for ways I could do more of that in my own life.

Rather than focusing on Me! Me! Me!… I could take a breather and turn that focus outward.

Who can I unexpectedly bless?

Who can I drop off flowers for?

Who can I pray for?

Who can I send an encouraging text or funny card to?

There are a lot of ways we can be a blessing to others if we just remember to get our eyes off our own selves and look for opportunities to serve.

This is the time in our lives we can be a blessing, maybe more easily than ever before.

So let’s hop to it! The world is waiting.

As always, I’m cheering you on,

Love,

Christy xoxo

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I just got back from the gym and am heading down to Houston later this morning. It’s been a whirlwind!

Today’s image is a shot from my trip to Atlanta and the MLP (Major League Pickleball) event.

I had the BEST time, and I’m so glad I was able to make the trip. Not only did I get to watch the best Pickleball players in the world, but I also signed up for a 3-day clinic given by Teaching Pro Mark Price.

Even though it was tiring driving 90 minutes north to the 3-hour clinic after a full day watching the pros, it was actually such a blessing to be able to learn skills that I had just seen the pros using, so that I could continue working to improve my own game.

And that’s what I want to share with you today.

This morning, as I was at the gym working through my workout, I realized that after 6 weeks, I’m getting stronger and more flexible.

I signed up with my coach, Connor Derrickson, mid-August, and every day I’ve been doing just a little bit more.

It’s not groundbreaking for sure, and it’s pretty tame compared to what I could do in my 20’s and 30’s…but I turn 60 next month, and I’m pretty happy with my progress.

What’s the lesson here?

That just a little bit every day will work wonders.

It’s not overnight.

It’s not all that impressive either.

But over time, it’s tiny, incremental progress forward.

And my friend, I think that’s what will get us all where we want to be.

I didn’t get stiff, overweight, and weak overnight. It was also tiny, incremental movement (backward) over time.

And now, and am experiencing the same only in a positive direction.

So whether it’s a physical goal – like mine is improving my rating and pickleball skills with a stronger, more physically fit body, or something professional – thinking of going for that promotion?, or relational – maybe taking that trip with your loved one, they all have the common denominator that you’ll get there one tiny step at a time.

Hope this has inspired you in some area. If it has, leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear all about it!

Love you and Cheering you on,

Christy

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It’s a beautiful sunny, cool day and we are having a great time visiting before I head up to Peachtree Corners for the Major League Pickleball Event. (I’m not playing – heehee) but I’m such a super fan, I’m going to be courtside to see all the top Pro players in the PB world. (There really is such a thing!)

Anyway, Monday back in Texas as I was coming home from taking Graham to school, I was thinking…”What could I do today that would allow me to really relax and enjoy my week in Georgia?”

And what immediately came to mind was to finish, and turn in my book proposal.

Since last May, I’ve been saying I would send a book proposal into a publisher (who requested it!) and yet for some reason, I’ve procrastinated. I’ve worked on it partially, I’ve moved forward in fits and starts, but I just couldn’t get myself to finish the darn thing and send it in!

So I knew I needed to just finish it and get it done!

(Have you ever had something like that?)

So I’m happy to report that by Monday at 3:00pm I had finished and submitted it to the publisher, along with submitting it on a major site that many publishers and agents use to find new manuscripts.

Whew! That felt sooooo goood!!

As I flew out yesterday, I was so thankful I had found my “around to it” to get to.

Really, the victory was in finishing the promised project more than the actual project itself.

As I was mulling over what had held me back for so long, the biggest obstacle that came to mind was this…

Perfection coupled with fear.

Fear it wasn’t, or wouldn’t be, perfect enough.

And if I never sent it, I would never know, right?

So theoretically, I was living in fear of something that wasn’t even real.

I mean, there is no actual downside.

“What if she says no?”

So what? What if she says no?

I don’t change either way. If she says no, then that’s ok, I can find other publishing houses, and/or publish it myself.

So really, there’s no downside.

And the exercise of completing the project was the victory in itself.

What have you been procrastinating on? Are you ready to “get ‘er done” as Larry the Cable Guy says?

This is what I did: (and maybe this will help you too!)

–I set the timer (20 minute chunks of work at a time)

–I focused on the process. There were lots of parts to this proposal, so I just focused on each part – writing, reviewing and editing. One element at a time.

–I hit send. Once the proposal was complete, I was actually second guessing myself – wondering if I should have someone else look at it and “approve” of what I had written. Then I caught myself. That was just another form of procrastination! So I gathered my courage, said a little prayer of gratitude and hit send.

Many years ago I heard the business and marketing strategist Seth Godin coin the term “Just ship it” as an anecdote to perfection paralysis, and I thought it was very useful.

And Monday I found it useful as well, as hitting the send button was a little “Just ship it” to myself.

And hopefully my encouragement to you to “Just Ship It” will help you as well.

Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. If finding a life coach is something you’ve been procrastinating on, I have the perfect opportunity for you! My coach, Edie Wadsworth, is holding a 3-day “Live Your Life Purpose Challenge” event this week, and you can still get in on all the goodness. Here’s a link to check it out.

The post Will You Just Ship It? appeared first on Christy Largent.

I thought I’d try something new today.

It’s been bugging me that my weekly emails have been so visually boring…so I decided to try something new!

I’m often stopped in my tracks by trying some new technology. While I wouldn’t call a newsletter template exactly cutting-edge technology, just the thought of trying to find one and figure it out paralyzed me for some weeks.

So this week, when I opened up my newsletter provider, I decided to try one of the provided templates.

I’ve kind of goofed up a couple times while writing it (on the backend) but here I am, making strides towards improving something that’s been bugging me for a while.

How about you – is there something that you’ve been putting off because it feels too daunting?

Here is what I told myself (self talk) before I started this with you today:

1. I reminded myself that past history tells me I’ve been willing to try new things.

2. I told myself I could figure it out, even if it took a bit of time. (Everything is “Figure-outable” – thanks Marie Forleo!)

3. I went ahead and tried even thought I wasn’t sure how it would work.

So you can use this strategy the next time you are stuck with something too.

–What does your past history tell you? (And make it something true and positive and energy giving.)

–What is the power statement that will get you going – for me, it was the reminder I’ll figure it out.

–Just start! Get moving, the momentum will really help you get going.

Your turn…I’d love you to try it, then let me know what you did that you had been stuck on!

Because, as always, I’m…

Cheering you on,

Christy

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I see the images coming across my Instagram feed and the stories filtering over my Facebook page.

Parents hugging, kissing, laughing, sorting, hauling, setting up (exquisite) dorm rooms, exploring, letting go, laughing some more, and crying.

I have 1 heading off for her second full year at UT, and to be honest, I have some really mixed emotions right now.

You see, our original college dropoff was fall of 2021 when we left our oldest as a HS senior for her to attend the Texas Academy of Math and Science up at the University of North Texas.

To be honest, I had an idealized vision of what it would be like to move her into her dorm. I’d use my background as a professional interior designer to help her create a beautiful, charming, inviting place of respite and calm amid the challenges of college.

I pictured helping her move in and get everything settled, pictures hung, lights strung, and a fuzzy throw blanket across the back of her desk chair. Kissing and hugging goodbye I’d cry on the way home, having dropped my eldest off, knowing things would never be the same again.

Well, I cried on the way home, but for a very different reason than I thought I would.

For starters, she wanted nothing to do with my vision of a fabulous dorm room. Utilitarian was her battle cry and she wanted it as sterile and stark as possible. No throw rugs, sparkle lights or beautiful art. Not for this girl.

I finally wrapped my mind around that, and at least looked forward to helping her move in with what she did let me get her.

Instead, as we got there and began unloading, she definitely didn’t want help putting her room together. I kept hovering, trying to help, but she was on a mission. Everything unpacked by herself and set up by herself.

She didn’t want any input or help from me other than taking out the trash.

In fact, she couldn’t get us out of there fast enough.

I get this. I do. This was about her, not me. But it was really tough for me.

That’s how it is with expectations. We have a vision, how it “should” be, of whatever it is…marriage, parenthood, our work, or, more specifically, moving a kid into college, the empty nest, our “retirement” years…

And for some reason, our expectations are way off base.

What do we do then?

It’s how we handle these unmet expectations that can really take our joy in life off course.

But the magic is that this is where we get to practice the skills we work on, our lovingkindness, our generosity, our patience, our trustworthiness.

During the difficult times are when those skills really count.

When we are able to manage our thoughts so they are working for us instead of against us.

When we can generate good feelings for ourselves in the midst of, let’s face it, less than perfect/desirable circumstances.

I’m so thankful that this year I have a lot more developed skills in this area than I did 2 years ago.

Now when Amelia insists on doing everything herself, I can notice her actions and if I start feeling rejected, I can recognize that it hurts, let myself sit with it until that feeling dissipates, then, I can change my thinking and think how thankful I am she’s so self-sufficient and focused on what’s most important to her.

Because when I think how grateful I am she’s confident and purposeful, I feel happy and even more grateful and hopeful for her future, which helps me be a more supportive and encouraging Mother. (Which is what I want to be!)

Oh, and I can have her Dad take her back down to college without me, which will let us all breathe a bit easier.

I know life isn’t like all those pictures I see on my social media. But going through this exercise helps me stay on track a whole lot more, and I hope it will help you too!

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. If you’re curious about this “Think-feel-act” model I keep talking about, my coach Edie Wadsworth has opened her coaching program for a limited time. You can go here to find out more information. (Not an affiliate, just a BIG fan!)

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Speaking of waiting, today I want to talk with you a bit about the big P – Procrastination.

Some of us never struggle with it.

I think of my kids, who hate to procrastinate and like to get everything finished early, so they are not stressed out. I remember when Amelia was in grade school, she was questioning me about getting her the supplies she needed to start a project. I asked when the project was due (thinking maybe a couple of days away,) imagine my surprise when I learned it was due 4 weeks out! She hates to procrastinate!

Alas, her Mother is not like that. In the past, I’ve been a Procrastination Queen. In high school and college, I was the one working through the night before and into the morning of on a paper or project coming due that day.

I have a speaker friend who put it this way…”Christy, I feel like I’m always performing a rough draft. I wait until it’s too late to practice, and then just get up and pull it off, but I know I’m not doing as well as I could be doing.”

Do you ever feel like that?

As we get older, the concept of time becomes even more dear. When we were 30, I’ll bet most of us rarely thought of “how much time we had left.”

But as I’m getting closer to 60, I’m acutely aware of potentially how my days are numbered.

Thankfully, I have long-lived ancestors, but you just never know, right? For any of us, today could be our last.

So I think it’s super important we get a handle on this procrastination thing. So that we live our life making the most of our gifts and talents.

I’ve been working on it and a few things have helped me that might help you too:

At the beginning of the month, write down a master list of what is coming due, what you want to accomplish, and so on. You can use it as a mind dump of all that’s on your heart.

Then go through and pull out what absolutely needs to be done. Maybe move some things to the following month, or months out. Once you get in the habit of this, you can take things that are further out, and stay on top of each of them ahead of time.

For example, if you’re going on a trip in October, there are a lot of moving parts to make that trip come together. You’ve got flights, hotels, excursions, etc. If you wait until September to start thinking about it, then you’ll pay more, be stressed and probably not get all you want out of your vacation.

But if you break it into parts, and add each appropriate part onto your monthly calendar, you’ll be able to get everything accomplished in plenty of time to think, research, think some more, schedule, and then fully enjoy your trip.

I give you this fun example because if you have a habit of Procrastination, then you might procrastinate on the fun as well as the not so fun.

I’ve also found I have had to change the way I think. (Sound familiar?)

Instead of thinking and saying, “I’m a procrastinator,” or “I’m always a day late and a dollar short,” I think “There’s plenty of time to get done what needs to get done,” and “I love getting things done in an unhurried and relaxed manner.”

I think these thoughts and write them down in my planner. And it’s helping.

I sometimes still Procrastinate. But changing my thinking, and doing the simple hack of “calendaring” my activities has really helped me a lot, and I hope it helps you too.

I hope you have a great week! Remember…

I’m cheering you on!

xo

Christy

P.S. I got my bargain value Cold Plunge yesterday! It’s like a glorified pool float with a simple PVC pipe structure, but I’m going to try it today and see how I do. I discovered our cold water here in Texas is only around 65 degrees, and the health benefits of cold water therapy start at 60, so it should be interesting!

The post Overcoming the Dreaded “P” Word appeared first on Christy Largent.

Gratitude. The foundation for a Positive Life, and the foundation of our Positivity Principles. Gratitude. Easy to think about, but sometimes difficult to live.

In this podcast, Christy gives 3 simple ways to incorporate more gratitude into your life.

Key Idea:

• Gratitude is simple, but takes practice to become a habit.

Resources:

• Christy’s Website

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text “31Positive” to 44222

Book:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 5 Minute Motivation – Gratitude appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

You get to create the environment you want to create. Positivity can be learned with work and effort.

Resources: 

• Christy’s website

Books:

• 31 Positive Communication Skills for Women, Christy Largent

Mindset:

• The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text 31Positive to 44222

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 048 Welcome Back Podcast appeared first on Christy Largent.

This morning was a rough morning. I woke up feeling crummy thanks to a late night yielding to temptation. The temptation of ice cream. Unfortunately, it was in the freezer. And I ate it. All.

I paid for it this morning.  Headache. Bad attitude. Short temper.

And have I mentioned that my daughter is in 7th grade? She’s a Jr. Higher. Yup. You know what that means. Hormonal. Headache. Bad attitude. Short temper.

And have I mentioned that my son is in 4th grade and is the favorite recipient of above mentioned big sister’s bad attitude and short temper? Yup. You’ve got it.

And have I mentioned that my dear, sweet husband leaves quite early in the morning. He used head out about 7:30 and was able to help get them off to school. But lately I’ve noticed he’s leaving earlier and earlier. This morning it was well before 7:00am… I wonder why? Hmmm…

Which brings me to my topic of the day.

How to say you’re sorry.

Because I wasn’t at my best this morning and I know Mamas set the tone for the day, and Amelia wasn’t a pretty sight. crying as she headed into school and I wasn’t a pretty sight sitting miserable in the car watching her walk away.

I wanted a do-over on the whole morning.

But, of course, there’s no such thing as a do-over. The morning is gone never to be lived again.

But the good news is that there is such a thing as asking for forgiveness. I get to tell my sweet girl and boy, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I was so short tempered. I’m sorry I didn’t give you what you needed. I’m sorry I gave into my own issues rather than rising up and loving you through yours. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’ll try to do better next time. Please forgive me.”

And if all goes well, (this is not the first time they have heard this particular drill,) they will accept my apology as we discuss it, and they will forgive me and we can all run out and jump in the pool and order pizza and family harmony will be restored. At least that’s how it usually turns out if I actually do ask for forgiveness and not just sweep it under the rug to fester and boil.

It’s a 4-Step Process…

1. I’m sorry I…… (Fill in the blank.)
2. I was wrong. (Do not insert a justification here – just say the basic sentence.)
3. I’ll try to do better next time. (This shows you are working towards being a better person.)
4. Please forgive me.

My story from home is equally valid for you at work you know.  That co-worker who asked you to do a favor and you snapped her head off. That boss who you subtly undermined as you casually discussed office politics in the lunch room. That client you told you would do something – only you didn’t.

There are lots of opportunities in our life when we experience brokenness in relationships. Living in the Opportunity Mindset means we don’t ignore the yuk. We see it for what it really is. An opportunity to restore and even deepen a relationship rather than driving separation.

So I hope you will take the opportunity, when needed, to go ahead and say you’re sorry. Then take it a step further and ask for forgiveness. Then don’t do it again.

Now, I’ve got to go and meet the bus…I’ve got a little conversation I’m looking forward to.

Love ya,

Christy

The post How to say “I’m Sorry” appeared first on Christy Largent.

January is almost over, and I didn’t quite finish what I started.

But, here’s the good thing. It’s turning out even BETTER than I had planned!

Starting with the clearing out  — I decluttered extensively and filled my car twice with trips to the Goodwill. Win! The storage closet in which I was planning to store the out of season leftovers, fell down into the clothes closet below. I know. Don’t ask.

But, the positive result will be even better storage once my husband completes the repair project. So let’s call that a not quite checked off the list but well on it’s way to completion success!

If you want to declutter too, may I suggest my friend Kathi Lipp’s easy to read and even easier to put into practice book, Clutter Free. You’ll love it and it will help you declutter your life!

Regarding the second part of my goals…here’s where it gets interesting…

As I was working on the content to be added to my website, I knew I needed video of me speaking, testimonials, information about my programs and an updated about me page. I wanted it to look like a speaker’s site, not a blogger/podcasters site.

I found some super smart people to help me with the technical aspects of this, and I began researching sites of some of my favorite National Speakers Association speakers to see what ideas I could steal borrow and change to make my own.

There are some awesome people out there to emulate! People like Neen James and Connie Podesta and Laura Stack and Tami Evans. And lots more incredible women who are really dominating in the public speaking space.

In the course of my research, I was drilling down to make sure my message was crystal clear on every level. I reached out to Neen James, who is known for her dynamic and fun delivery combined with her stellar content. I had seen her speak this past July at the NSA Convention, and was very intrigued with how she had packaged and delivered her message.

She was so helpful! She basically told me what I had come up with was no good and not unique at all. Boring. Her magic words were, Christy, I looked at your site, and I can’t book you from what you are telling me there. I don’t know what you offer.

Yikes! Just what I needed to hear. (Actually, I thought my site was shaping up nicely! So how awesome to get that kind of honest and relevant feedback!)

So in the past 2 weeks, I’ve gotten to work drilling down to the essence of Christy. Neen asked me, What have you put your 10,000 hours into Christy? What lessons have you learned over and over and over in your life that you can share with your audience? 

I’m still working on teasing it all out, but I am so close! And I’m so excited! Because instead of just being a “High Energy Motivational Speaker who teaches you how to get along and connect” I’m going to be framing it in a personal and more meaningful way that will be much more interesting and unique.

Which means YOU will be getting better content because I’ll be filtering it in a more effective way.

Here’s what I’ve learned from this whole experience. Maybe they will help you too!

1. Even if you don’t know exactly where it’s going to end up, get started getting busy on what you want to do.  The de-cluttering project revealed the storage problem. Had I waited, there would still be piles everywhere and the closet would still be a problem! If I hadn’t begun the research, I would never have seen the huge gaping holes in my website/speaking project.
2. Reach out for help. I knew I couldn’t deal with all the technical changes I’ll be needing in the course of changing my website. I found experts in those areas to help me. That even relates to me reaching out to Neen. (I didn’t know her personally before.)
3. Be willing to look at the same things differently. You know I’ve been speaking on the topics of communication skills, customer service, and personality styles for almost 20 years. This month, I’ve looked at my body of work in a whole new way, and I’m coming out the other end the better for it.

What about you? How did your January go? Are you still on track to make this your Best Year Ever? I hope so.  Let me know in the comments below, or comment on FB.

The post It was Guilt Free and Painless appeared first on Christy Largent.

Nothing spirals downward faster than a negative environment. I knew I needed to fix this situation, and fast!

Here are the 3 things I did. Maybe they will work for you the next time you hit a rough patch.

1. Take a deep breath and assess the situation. What can I change? What is non-negotiable? I stepped back and saw the main things I needed were to get myself dressed, the kids fed and the dog put in the backyard. I also saw that the dark house filled with the noises of anxiety were not helping.
2. Do what you can do and delegate the rest.  I put on some fun music and turned on all the lights. Our surroundings can affect our behavior more than you know. The lights and music helped lighten the tone. I delegated the dog and her “issues” to my daughter and hustled back to get dressed and throw my makeup in a bag – I could finish in the car before my meeting. I had my son pull out the eggs and cheese so I could whip up their breakfast after I got dressed.
3. Focus on the good and enjoy the journey. I did a quick mind re-set while I was getting dressed. I reminded myself that for so many years I had longed for children with a desperate longing…in other words…I asked for this!  I said a prayer of thanks for my kids. I smiled. Yup. A physical smile made me giggle. And when I came back into the kitchen, I sang along to the music while I made the eggs. I forced myself to change my attitude. I know a happy heart attitude is contagious.

[Tweet “A happy heart attitude is contagious.”]

I’d love to tell you my kids started dancing and singing with me and happily gobbled up their breakfasts with words of gratitude on their lips.  That’s not actually what happened.

They were still a bit grumpy. But my attitude was better, so there was less tension and I enjoyed the rest of our time together before school much more. Plus I told myself, often it’s what is caught, more than what is taught that sinks in.

[Tweet “It’s what is caught, more than what is taught that sinks in.”]

So when they think of their Mama today (if they think of me at all!) it will be with the happy smile and kiss that I left them with rather than the surly frustrated face of the earlier morning.

And I’ll call that a win.

How about you? What do you do to shift the momentum when things start deteriorating around you? I’d love you to share! Just leave a comment below.

Love ya!

Christy

The post 3 Steps to Create a Positive Environment appeared first on Christy Largent.

Family, friends, food and faith.

Today as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, I hope you will be spending time with your favorite family and friends.  I hope your tummy will be full of the yummiest food of the season.

But most of all, I pray you will find faith in the perfect God-man, Jesus Christ.  And that in the midst of your gift giving, laughter and fun, that your heart will be drawn to the only one born to bring lasting and eternal peace.

Peace between our frail, flawed humanity and a perfect God. Peace made possible by the baby born in the stable. Peace paid for by His perfect life given as a sacrifice. For you. For me. Peace.

Merry Christmas!

The post Merry Christmas! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Several weeks ago I created my first ever community survey. I wanted to know more about you so that I can make sure what I’m creating is meeting your most important needs.

You responded and I got some surprising results.  Here they are – along with why the information matters and what I’m going to do differently.

Results

• You are a dominantly female audience (97%),  and in your middle years, 45-64 years old (72%).  I knew this intuitively, but it was fun to see the numbers. (You look like me!)

• You value education and have either a Bachelor or Graduate degree (66%) or at least some college 25%. Clearly, you are a lifelong learner.
• Your total household income is more than $75,000 (65%), and  you can be found in a huge variety of job positions, so much so, there’s no 1 thing that jumps out. I love that you bring an incredibly diverse scope of background and skills.

• Social Media Use was my biggest surprise.
  • Facebook was #1 (93% ranked it #1)
  • YouTube (79% ranked #2 or #3) virtually tied with
  • Pinterest (75% ranked #2 or #3).

• You don’t listen to my podcast. (72%) (Many of you said you wanted to listen, but were too busy to fit them in.)
• You want to learn from me…
  •  #1 Communication Skills and
  • #2 Self Development strategies.

• Your Biggest Challenges…
  • Finding time to do what needs to get done (61%) and
  • Desire to improve professional growth (45%), then
  • Life/Work balance (35%).

Your dreams…travel, being fit, creating a business and spending time with your family all rose to the top. We women really do want to do it all!

My top 5 Action Items based on the survey…

1. January 5th I’ll be offering a free webinar to help you dig deep to Discover your Calling and Develop your Plan for the new year.  More info. on that will be coming shortly. (It will have a wonderful name I’m sure, I just haven’t come up with it yet…title ideas welcomed.)

2.  I’ll continue finding excellent outside resources to recommend. The first is available now, 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever, by Michael Hyatt, and then in January there’s a free Peak Performance Summit you can register for here now. More on both of these as we go.

3. I’ll be creating YouTube tutorials focused on communication skills and strategies to help you communicate most effectively (get what you want!)

4. My podcast is going to reformatted into a short 5-10 minute production that you can fit into your busy schedules.

5. Finally, I’m going to send the survey at a different time of year. (Feb or March will be good.)  Late fall is such a busy time of year, I know many of you wanted to take the survey, but just couldn’t squeeze it in. So, next time I’ll find a less “intense” time of year to send so I can get even more feedback.

Thank you so much! I just love connecting with you and I’m excited about the year to come. What are you excited about this for this coming year? I’d love to hear what’s top of your mind! You can comment here or better yet…(see, I’m learning…) “like,” then post on my Facebook Page here.   Love ya!

Christy

The post Community Survey 2015 Results appeared first on Christy Largent.

And that conversation led me to think about the expectations I put on myself.  There’s no life “monitor” waiting to give me a “grade” at the end of my life. Right? Yet I frequently act, that is, think as though I must go through life working for an A+.

And then, when I don’t get the Christmas Cards sent, (Seriously people, this is a challenge for me! Those receiving cards from us this year will be blessed by the arrival of 2014 and 2015’s cards together!), or I don’t hit my target work numbers, or I don’t lose as much weight as I had hoped…well, I just feel like a failure.

This year was a good one for my goals. I found an excellent eating program that I loved and I shed the

40lbs that had been hanging on for about 8 years. I finally finished and published my book.  I managed to step back and take a few months with my kids traveling coast to coast this summer. By any yard stick, I think that’s a pretty good year.

But then I realize that I’ve gained some of that weight back. And I didn’t speak as many times as I had hoped. And the book was only self-published – does that even count? Oh, and the kids fought with each other for most of that enormous road trip.

You get where I’m going?  Do you do this too?  It’s so frustrating! Because I think when we do this horrible downplaying, minimizing what we’ve done and who we are as somehow “not quite enough,”  we rob ourselves of the joy of the “enough.”

So ENOUGH!

This year as I review my goals from last year and step into planning and dreaming for 2016, I will recognize that anything I think worthy of writing down as a goal is enough. The process of completing the goal is enough. And when I accomplish that longed for dream, I’ll do a happy dance and celebrate!

If you want to join me, I want you to encourage you to check out my friend Michael Hyatt’s new and improved goal setting program 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever.  I have used this program for the past 2 years and will do it again this year.

I have used the tools he has provided. I’ve engaged with the ongoing coaching program offered and benefitted from private VIP FB groups and online coaching sessions with Michael.  I believe all of these things have combined to help me achieve some really big goals!  And I love that! And I want that for you too.

Click here to Check it out!

I believe in this program so much, I am an affiliate. That means, if you decide it’s right for you and you purchase the program, I get a thank you payment from Michael. But seriously, even if I weren’t, I would still be encouraging you to check it out.

I think it’s worth your time to at least look at.  There are 3 free videos that will totally help you now, even if you decide the program is not a fit. The free content will help you get get thinking about how you want to set your intention for 2016 and then recognize the cost of each day of your year…so enlightening!

(The kids and I have a cameo in them too — so fun! You must watch carefully to see us — and I’m 40lbs heavier in the pictures since they were shot in July of 2014, so I can hardly bear it…sooooo Embarrassing!)

Ok, I could go on and on! But I won’t. Instead, I’m going to go get busy on my Christmas Cards, say a thankful prayer with every envelope I address, and know that it’s All. Totally. Enough.

Love you!

Christy

ps – In case you missed it — click here — to check out the 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever program. What will it hurt to look it over? And what will it hurt if you don’t?  xoxoxo C

The post When is Enough, Enough? appeared first on Christy Largent.

You can imagine. It’s heartbreaking.

This week his Veteran’s Home brought in a speaker, Heather McKay, MS, OT/L to train the staff on how to work with people with Dementia.  They also offered a special session for families.  My husband and I attended.

Heather did a thorough and thoughtful job explaining the deterioration of a brain beset with the disease of Dementia.  It’s horrifying to see the stark physical differences between a healthy 80 year old brain and the shrunken, deformed brain of an 80 year old Alzheimer’s patient.

Almost the first question after she finished her presentation was “How do we keep our brains healthy?”  Precisely!  How do we avoid the trauma our loved ones are going through?

Heather gave a list of 10 things we can do.  I did 2 Periscopes about it here if you want to see them.  For you readers…here’s what she recommended. (With my additional #1 mentioned first.)

1.  Cut the Sugar, Flour and Eat Whole Foods.  I must admit this is my #1 because I’ve read the work of Dr. Daniel Amen and Dr. David Perlmutter and others who have done extensive research into the relationship between what you put in your body and how your brain works on that fuel.  Universally, their #1 recommendation is to eliminate sugar and grains from your diet.  It’s not easy, but a worthwhile goal for your best brain health. In the interest of full disclosure and transparency, I’ve struggled with my sugar/flour addiction for more than 10 years…I still haven’t found my own personal solution…I’ll keep you posted on that one.
2. Read.  Books.  Oh my! I did a little happy dance in my chair when Heather said this.  Sugar is hard. Books are easy.  Read chapter books.  Something like 80% of Americans read less than 10 books a year. How are you doing with your reading?  Situational memory is stimulated when you read, put down the book, do something else and then come back to the book.  As you “get back into the book” your brain works it’s situational memory activities and strengthens those brain cells.
3. Keep a Journal.  If you already do this, you’re on the right track.  If not, Heather suggested something simple to get started – create a “Done List” at the end of each day.  We are all familiar with “To Do” lists, and this is the same but in reverse.  Go back over your day and remember all the things that happened. Process them and plan ahead for the next day. Situational memory is activated and brain activity increased. All good.
4. Use Your Non-Dominant Hand.  Something magical happens inside your brain when you switch things up.  Simple things like opening the door or brushing your teeth with your opposite hand will trigger your brain to get busy and get working.
5. Work Crossword Puzzles.  My husband did the happy dance on this one. I cringed. Heather assured us that even those of us who struggle with these puzzles can start easy and work up.  I put “find crossword puzzle for babies” on my list.  I’ll get started on this right away. Really!
6. Find ways to add vocabulary to your knowledge bank.  Crazy, right? I think if you are reading good stuff, you’ll find new words.  Also, it sounds silly, but keep an old-fashioned dictionary at your desk and in between projects, pull it out and thumb through.  Then try to use a new word in a sentence or email sometime that day.  Oh, and I think crosswords work  for this too.
7. Games.  Do more of them.  Strategy and name and face games are best.  When you are struggling to remember a name of someone, let your brain run and try to remember it.  The brain is searching for a file (names are stored a different place than faces (images) are)…so let your brain search.  It can be frustrating, but the more you allow it to search, the stronger the ability will get. Make a game out of it and it will be even more helpful.
8. Exercise your body.  (You know this already!!)
9. Learn a foreign language.  Interestingly, the year I spent teaching english in Hungary I had the most vivid dreams of my life. Scientists tell us dreams are the way we process all the stimulation of the day. My mind was in overdrive during the day, and rebooting furiously during the night.  I’d say that year brought not only personal growth, but brain growth as well.
10. Learn to play a musical instrument.  Ok.  Put it on the list.

Bottom line as I run through these suggestions is for us to keep our brains working. Any time we bring something new to our brains they do a happy dance. And the more we do it, the happier they are!

I have a feeling I could write on each of these 10 individually – they are all so full of opportunity.  Each one of them is a choice. I was challenged to at least recognize that I have some control now over how my brain might turn out later.

How are you strengthening your brain? Shoot me a quick tweet or leave a comment here. I love hearing from you!

Love ya,

Christy

The post Top 10 Tips for a Super Connected Brain…and Life! appeared first on Christy Largent.

I’m so excited I have so much on my plate.  I mean, I’m really thankful for the work and the opportunities ahead in this last quarter of the year.

But, And, it’s so easy to spin ’round and ’round trying to figure out what’s next.

I know you super organized, focused and driven people don’t even get what I’m saying.  So just skip this post and go get yourself a nice Pumpkin Spice Latte.  But for the rest of us, here’s what helped me today.

As I thought about how to focus in, I combined a strategy I just learned from my friend and fellow professional speaker, Pegine, with one of my favorite action steps taken from Gary Keller’s awesome book, The One Thing, and came up with 3 quick steps to help get me back on track.

1.  Ask Yourself…“What is the one thing I can work on for a concentrated amount of time today that will really move my business forward?”  (Gary Keller’s idea.) This is such a great question because it really helps center your thinking on things that matter.  There is so much busywork that can jump up and grab our time – but when you ask this question, the busywork fades and the best emerges.
2. List the top 3-4 things that come to mind.  I’m sure you have a lot of GOOD things you could do today.  But without a doubt, there are most likely 3-4 things that could be classified as GREAT.  Put a big circle around the one that stands out above the rest. Create a sentence of intention around this one thing.
3. Write it down 10 times.  Yup.  Just like back when you got in trouble (I mean, some other kid got in trouble) and had to write something 100 times.  (Pegine’s idea.)  Just 10 times. It’s amazing how powerful it is to set your intention and then write that intention down multiple times.  I’ve found as I write, I usually fine tune the goal/intention as well.

I’m off to Periscope on this very topic, so if you haven’t tried Periscope yet, be sure to hop over to my Periscope page today, or click over to Katch to see a replay of all my Scopes. (Including Graham’s piano concert last night!)  Once I figure out the technical, I’ll get the scopes posted here on my website as well.  It’s baby steps, right?

Did this exercise help you?  What was your 1-thing today? Give me a quick tweet or you can comment below and let me know! I’d love to cheer you on!

Love ya,

Christy

The post 3 Tips to Go From Overwhelmed to Intention appeared first on Christy Largent.

How did all that happen in just a few hours?  It was a virtual meeting of my Mastermind group.  We 5 women gathered together around our computers.  We’re from 4 different states, yet all united with a specific focus to help each other.  And because we all were focused on helping each other, we obviously were given help ourselves.

Have you ever wanted to be in a Mastermind?  What is a Mastermind?  Basically, it’s a small group of people who commit to helping do all the things I mentioned above.  You usually commit to a specific focus, agree on a specific time frame and then meet together.  Sometimes one person starts it, and charges the others to be a part.  Sometimes the only fee is participation and your time.

I’ve been in 2 other masterminds, and each brought it’s own positives and negatives.  1 was super helpful, the other, not so much.  Typical, right?

I guess the overarching thing is that it’s a tool you can use for growth.  I love taking every opportunity for growth, don’t you?

That’s why I’m so excited to share with you a FREE event happening this week, “Masterminded” by my mentor and friend, Michael Hyatt.  You’ve heard me talk about him so many times over the past few years, and the key thing about him is he ALWAYS over-delivers.

I’m sure this FREE event will be no exception.  The Influence and Impact Summit is going to be a stellar coming together of some of the best and brightest influencers of our day.

People like Dave Ramsey, John Maxwell, Lysa TerKeurst, Jen Hatmaker, Andy Andrews, Glennon Doyle Melton, Jon Acuff, Bob Goff and many more will be gathered together between October 6-13, 2015.  You can watch or listen on your own time as Michael will email you a link to access 3 presentations at a time.  It’s all virtual, so super easy to squeeze in.

You can have access to this for FREE!  Did I mention it was for FREE?  So exciting!  You just need to register here at the Influence and Impact Summit page to get in on the summit.

I’m not an affiliate or anything, I just love all things Michael Hyatt.  And I love the magic that can happen when you are around people intent on giving their best.  Just like in my Mastermind this morning, I know you will find the speakers (and too many to name here, seriously!) will hit on just the thing you need to hear.  Right now.

So don’t miss out!  I want this for you – click here  – to register now for the big event!  I’ll see you there!

Love ya,

Christy

The post Are You Accelerating Your Excellence? appeared first on Christy Largent.

What a year this has been and now here we are just 90 days left until we’re celebrating the entrance of 2106.  Are you ready for all the hustle and bustle of the end of year?

I’ve decided to go ahead and get my Christmas cards sent out in the next few weeks.  You see last year’s cards are still sitting on the office shelf a-waiting their signing and stuffing.  I figure I’ll just write a new letter, snap a few new pictures and add the whole kit and caboodle into last year’s envelope and call it done.  Can you relate?

Actually, that’s what I call falling forward.

Things don’t work out as you had planned.  Your goal to _______________ (you fill in the blank) was missed by a New York mile.  And I figure that’s ok, in fact my experience shows, that’s LIFE.  So, here’s the question. How can we dig down into the essence of it, grab the really important part, regroup and once again move forward towards what we want?

And it’s not just with Christmas cards is it?  That book you started. The weight you had hoped to shed. The garden you had dreamed of getting landscaped. The clients you had hoped to connect with.  All worthy goals.  And yet here we are on October 1st and they are still incomplete.

I want to encourage you to stop and ask yourself what’s really important to you. Once you dial back into that core foundation, then it’s time to figure out what you want to focus on for the next 90 days.  What activities will move you towards accomplishing what you set out to do back last December or January?

It’s not too late.  I promise.  No matter how many times you miss, you can always try again. At least that’s my motto.  Revisit and make sure you really wanted it? Yes! And then once that’s done, get back on that horse. Or should I say, pick up that card, stuff that envelope and stick on that stamp!

I’m SO happy to be back with you.  Let me know what you’ve been doing.  You can leave a comment or just send me a tweet over on twitter.

I’m also Periscoping daily, so I’d love for you to join me there as well!  More on that later.

Hugs,

Christy

The post Fall-ing Forward appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here are the 3 steps I use:

1. Consider where you were when you set the goals.
2. Look at what you’ve accomplished so far.
3. Consider what’s still left to do and readjust if necessary

Encouraging Word for the day:  Psalms 20:4  “May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans.”

The post #513: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Purposeful (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I want to share a few words of encouragement.  Sunday’s holiday used to be one of the saddest days of my year.  I know the pain of dashed hopes and deferred dreams.  And I’ve found some ways to navigate that I think might be helpful to you too.  Listen in for more!

Key Ideas:

1.  Remember – “Not now” doesn’t mean “Never”

2.  Managing Expectations

3.  When the difficulties come, hang on.

4.  Look for the sunshine

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Psalm 37:4  “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you all the desires of your heart.”

The post #047: Encouragement for Mother’s Day (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I share the “aha” moment I had that has helped me to do a turnaround when in conflict.  Learning how to be transparent can be transformational.

Recommended Books:

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Luke 6:38 “Give and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

The post #512: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Transparent (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember, when giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is about how to be so clear the other person knows EXACTLY what you want them to do.  It’s the perfect way to complete your thoughts — creating an effective feedback opportunity.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #511: 5 Minute Connection – Be Clear (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

So here are the 5 big takeaways…

1. Discover your Assets
2. Broaden your perspective
3. Find ways to connect
4. Surround yourself with people who care
5. Pay attention to your heart

Encouraging Word for the Week:  Proverbs 19:20-21 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.  Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

The post #046: 5 Key Life Skills to Enjoy Life More (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember, when giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is more about how to stay out of judgement or assumption, and instead, Be Honest.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #510: 5 Minute Connection – Be Honest (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This week I’m in Orlando, Florida at the Launch Conference, put on by Ken Davis and his Dynamic Communicators event team.  I’m learning so much, and more importantly, I’m being pushed into action while making connections with top thinkers and doers.

I love this stuff.  That’s because I love learning.  And let’s face it, taking online classes and going to conferences is a heck of a lot cheaper than going back to college!

And the other thing is that I’m putting into practice what I’m learning.  This blog, my podcast, my soon to be published book are all evidence of this training getting put into practice.

So I wanted to ask you…how are you investing in yourself this year?  Have you taken time to read an inspiring book?  Have you started learning a new skill with an online class?

Let’s break it down to the super simple.  Have you Googled or YouTubed how to do something new this year?

You might be living in fear like I was.  Afraid to try something that might be uncomfortable or has the possibility of being imperfect (Gasp!)

But seriously,

The #1 Benefit to learning something new is…

You’ll feel really, really, really good!

My brother has always been the smart one in our family.  He was the math wiz at an early age.  For me however, anything to do with math and I’d run.  Add computer to that, and yikes!  That was a recipe for nightmares in my book.

I developed an aversion to anything that might even get close to doing math on the computer.  And of course, every year tax season was a huge burden as I had to manually deal with all my receipts etc.

This year I was challenged to get a Quick Books program.  I bit the bullet and got the program.  I went to a training and then got some personalized tutoring on how to use it.  I entered my entire year’s worth of data into the program.  And guess what?

It was so incredible!!  I did it!  I printed out my very first profit and loss statement!  And even more amazing…I FELT WONDERFUL!!!  I was so darned strong, happy and empowered when I finished I literally felt like Wonder Woman!  If any bullets had been flying by, I’m sure I could have deflected them with my magical quickbooks bracelets of gold.  Simply amazing!

Seriously.  You HAVE to try this!  I think part of why it felt so amazing was that I didn’t think I could do it, and so when I did it, it was a double happiness hit. Ahhhhh!

I want this for you!  (I know I’m using a lot of exclamation marks today…but I’m sure it’s the only way I can convey to you the enormous mounds of emotion that this achievement raised for me!!)

Do you want to learn how to use a new program?  Are you eager to try a new cooking technique, but been worried it would turn out poorly?  Maybe it’s dance lessons that are calling out to be taken, but you don’t want to feel silly by being the youngest in the class.

Or even more seriously, do you need/want/fear a conversation with your husband about something important and deeply felt by you, but you’re not sure how to say it so you say nothing?  Speaking the truth in love is a skill you can learn…I know how scary it feels, yet how exhilarating it is after the conversation actually happens.

All this I want for you so much.  I want you to experience the rush of adrenalin that comes from actually doing that thing you’ve been fearing.  For me, all it took was that silly computer program. What is it for you? I’d love to hear.

The post The #1 Benefit of Learning Something New This Month appeared first on Christy Largent.

I’m going to focus on 3 main elements of giving effective feedback over the next 3 weeks.

When giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is all about how to avoid judgement or assumption, and instead, be specific.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #509: 5 Minute Connection – Be Specific (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

• How to find inspiration
• Using the calendar to ensure “me time”
• How to keep your husband a priority
• Recognizing seasons in life
• Creative ideas for how to get help

Encouraging Word of the Week:  1 Peter 4:10 (The Voice)  “Use whatever gift you’ve received for the good of one another so that you can show yourselves to be good stewards of God’s grace in all it’s varieties.”

The post #045: Ask Anna Moseley and Asking for Help (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Thankfully, I have an amazing sister-in-law who reminded me of this yesterday, so I get to share it with you today!

Key reminders about being yourself:

1.  It’s scary.

2.  It’s easier to wear a mask.

3.  It’s totally worth it.

Encouraging Word:  Romans 12:9a (The Message) “Love others well, and don’t hide behind a mask; love authentically.“

The post #508: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Yourself appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Interview Highlights

• A funny Alec Baldwin story and her podcast “You’ve Got This”
• Finding your direction
• The role mentors can play in your life
• The true cost of clutter

Part 2 – Decluttering Our Lives

• Making hard choices
• Being realistic
• Staying focused
• Perspective Reset – Tim Challies article

Website Links

www.kathilipp.com

www.clutterfreebook.com

canva.com

Kathi’s Recommended Reading

Clutter Free, Quick and Easy Steps to Amplifying Your Space, by Kathi Lipp.

Communicating for a Change: Seven Keys to Irresistible Communication (North Point Resources), by Andy Stanley and Lane Jones.

The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No, by William Ury.

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath.

Connect with Kathi

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ecclesiastes 5:10  “Whoever loves money will never have enough money. Whoever loves luxury will not be content with abundance. This also is pointless.”         – I know this is not very encouraging, but seriously, doesn’t it just fit perfectly with our discussion today!  It’s about relationships, not about stuff!

Question:  Are you a cluttery person?  How do you manage to keep it down?  I’d love your ideas too!  Just leave a comment below, or on FB or Twitter.

The post #044: Kathi Lipp – A Clutter Free Life (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This week, I want to give you 2 magic questions you can use when you absolutely MUST give the advice burdening your heart.  Before you speak…

Ask yourself these 2 questions:

1.  What gives me the right?

2.  Is it in the best interest of the relationship?

Listen to the podcast and share it!  I think you’ll enjoy this part 2 of the podcast.  Who knows, it might even change your life!  And feel free to share with your friends!

I’d love to know – do you struggle with giving unsolicited advice?  How do you keep from becoming “that person” who always has a better way of doing something? Please let me know your thoughts!

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 12:18  “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

The post #507: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Mysterious Part 2 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Unsolicited advice will destroy relationships, create conflict, drive division, and push people further and further away from you.  If you want healthy relationships where your friends and family ASK for your advice, then you’d better say far, far away from giving the unsolicited kind.

Today I’m sharing with you a humorous story on this very subject.  I think you’ll love it!…so you have to listen to the podcast.  But if you can’t spare 5 minutes, here’s my advice for keeping yourself from giving Unsolicited Advice:

When you want to start talking, instead, start asking questions.  

I hope you enjoy this today.  I’d encourage you to listen.  It’s short and who knows..it might even change your life!  And if you know someone who loves to give unsolicited advice, please feel free to share this with them too.

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Romans 12:18 “If possible, live in peace with everyone. Do that as much as you can.”

The post #506: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Mysterious Part 1 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

1.  Smile

2.  Stick out your hand and introduce yourself.

3.  Lean towards the new person

4.  Look them in the eye

5.  Speak up

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

The post #505: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Friendly (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s the magic of charisma, and I have a few ideas to share with you about how you can get some too!  Listen to the podcast for all the details…

Key Suggestions Discussed:

1.  Confidence

2.  Questions

3.  Listen

4.  Be interesting

5.  Laugh (at yourself)

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

The post #504: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Charismatic (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

You won’t find sugar coating and happy endings here.  What you will find is HOPE in all capital letters.  Because Michele is not a christian in name only.  She lives a gut wrenching faith through the depths of trial and despair.

Since Michele couldn’t be on the show due to the fact she’s in the middle of healing from her most recent cancer surgery, I decided to review the book and go over my biggest take-aways.  If you read my blog post yesterday, I covered these briefly there, but today I take it deeper.

And I have a special ending where you will hear from Michele herself doing what she does best.  Telling a story.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life Highlights

• With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.
• There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.
• Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.

Part 2 – My Decision before I become Undone!

• Making hard choices
• Being realistic
• Staying focused

Website Links

Michele Cushat

Recommended Reading

Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, by Michele Cushat

Connect with Michele

On Facebook

On Twitter

On Instagram

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Jeremiah 29:11  “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

The post #043: Michele Cushatt – Undone Book Review (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When I started Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, I had a tiny idea of what to expect.  After all, my friend, Michele Cushatt, speaker, blogger, co-host of the top rated podcast This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt, MC for Women of Faith, had been diagnosed with cancer last year.  Or should I say re-diagnosed.  So I knew she had some challenging times in her past and present, I just didn’t know how earth shattering those challenges really were.

Most of us would be buried under the weight of those burdens.  Broken marriage. Single parenting.  Blended family.  Cancer.  Rebellious kids.  Foster parenting. Cancer again.  And again.  Oh my!

But the reason I want you to read this book is not because of how horrible it all is, but how incredibly wonderful it all is.  That’s right.  Wonderful.  Because Michele shares the entire story with an underlying peace and calm that’s completely inspiring.  Her faith is deep and her writing is lyrical, so you are carried along.  Even in the midst of becoming Undone, this really is, as her tag line reads, A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life.

She weaves so many ideas throughout this wrenchingly honest and brave memoir, it’s hard to pick just a few.  But of course I did (since I love 3-point take-aways), and following are 3 things I want you to remember the next time YOU are coming Undone.

1.  With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.  When Michele was struggling with chronic pain, a body that wouldn’t heal, and a root canal in an already raw mouth, she realized she was booked to speak at a huge women’s conference.  This was an opportunity she had worked for and was really looking forward to.  But seriously. Picture yourself in that situation.  As my mother would say, “She was just beside herself.”

But God.  Michele’s prayer, “God.  I have nothing.  Nothing.  You’re going to have to show up in a big way.  The Advil too.  I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”  

Here’s what happened,

“For two days, women who heard my story lined up at my book table, one by one sharing their own stories of heartache;  of broken marriages, wayward children, and the difficult wrestlings of this life of faith.  Again and again, I abandoned a chair to grasp hands with a stranger, close my eyes and pray.  Together we poured out our hearts to a God we desperately needed but didn’t always understand.  Real, broken, in-progress women trying so very hard to live.”

Yup.  What you never thought you could do.

2.  There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.  Story after story Michele weaves a beautiful tapestry out of all the yuck she has waded through.

• A failed marriage brought a brand new ministry to single moms.  And more.
• A tough new marriage and blended family brought a new appreciation for  imperfection and second chances.  And more.
• Cancer.  And more cancer.  I can’t even start on that list — too many good things to write down in this post!  Can you even believe that!!  It’s true!

And my biggest take-away of all…

3.  Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.  Michele had some of the most magical opportunities presented to her in the midst of her cancer and other challenges.  Many of us might have passed on the opportunities because of all the other stuff going on.  But not Michele.  We can learn from her choices.

When prospects of a quickly approaching empty nest were put to bed on the heels of “one phone call that came with three children,” Michele and her husband moved forward into their new life.  It wasn’t pretty, but they didn’t shun the opportunity because it wasn’t what they had imagined.  Instead they embraced it.   And when you read the book, you’ll understand all the beauty that came (and is coming) from that choice.

Can you tell I loved this book!   If you’ve ever felt just a tad bit “Undone” then get this book.  If you have a friend who is the midst of “Undone”, then get this book and give it to her.  Your friend will thank you.  Michele will thank you.  I’ll thank you.

Because really, isn’t that what it’s all about as we struggle through this life?  Encouraging each other.  Loving each other.  All because HE first loved us.  Making the most of every day because the days are short.

Love ya!

Christy

Question:  What are some of the ways you are able to survive when you’re coming undone?  Please leave your answers below, or in the comments on FB or Twitter.

Note: Quotes are from Michele Cushatt’s book, Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life. All rights reserved.

The post 3 Things to Remember When You Are Coming Undone appeared first on Christy Largent.

“That Feeling” = Tight chest, shallow breathing, head spinning, general feeling of high anxiety about all the things I should be doing, hadn’t done or missed doing.

About 6 months ago, I realized that when my body has this visceral reaction, I needed to pay attention.

It wasn’t just the physical I was experiencing.  Because at the same time, my mind was going wild and I felt:  Overwhelmed.  Ashamed.  Anxious.  Behind.  Embarrassed.  Frustrated.  Scared.  Not Enough.  And again Ashamed.

So I stopped, took a few deep breaths, remembered what I was supposed to, wanted to get busy doing, and thought I would take my own minute of re-connection to re-connect with you and share with you what worked for me, just in case you have ever felt like this too.

1. Stop.  This is where you readjust yourself physically.  You MUST do this first, even before anything else.  Physically stop and breathe.  Close your eyes, sit up straight, gently move your head and shoulders to realign.  Focusing on nothing but the air, breathe in deeply, all the way to your bellybutton.  Do it again.  And one more time.  You should start feeling a bit of relief right away.
2. Think.  This is where you readjust your mind.  Let go of all the negative you just veered off course into. Remind yourself of what you want to do.  Your calling.  Your passion.  Let go of the comparison.  (Yup, my guess is that’s at the root of this particular melt-down.)
3. Act.  This is where you do something positive to move yourself in the right direction.  Start doing that thing you just reminded yourself about.  The old saying, “just do the next right thing” really comes in handy here.  You know what it is.  You can do it. Start.

I hope these reminders helped you.  They helped me.  Now I’d better get back to my regularly scheduled programming.

Love ya!

Christy

P.S.  I’d love to hear your stories.  What sends you into a panic?  What is your trigger?  How do you get out of it?  Please leave your comments below, on FB or Tweet it!

The post I Felt Overwhelmed and Ashamed and How I Moved Past It appeared first on Christy Largent.

Most people pad or hedge with the best of intentions, but what happens is the opposite.

Lesson:  Avoid Hedging and Use Power Phrases

You’ll have to listen to get them — too boring to write here.

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Matthew 5:37 (Phillips) “Whatever you have to say let your ‘yes’ be a plain ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ a plain ‘no’—anything more than this has a taint of evil.”

The post #503: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Straightforward (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today’s Tip:  Be Connected!

I want you to grow strong connections.  Here are a few ideas to help you develop strong, healthy connections.  Remember, more details are in the podcast.

1. Decide you want connection
2. Be willing to be vulnerable
3. Be focused on them when you are with them
4. Time — it Takes Time and you must Give it Time
5. Enjoy the fruits of connection

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Matthew 18:20  “Where 2 or 3 are gathered together, there I am with them.”

Question:  What do you think about these 5 minute Fridays?  I’d love to hear your comments!

The post #502: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Connected (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• Anne’s key activities
  • Delegate Activities
  • Eliminate Decisions
  • Prioritize and ask – “Is This Really Important?”

[Tweet ““I am not here to do it all.” Anne Ricci”]

Part 2 – The Power of Effective Prioritization

• Run your priority selection through My Priority Process

Website Links

Anne’s Healthy Kitchen

Lifespa.com  Dr. John Douillard

Anne’s Recommended Reading

Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder, by Arianna Huffington.

Connect with Anne

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 24:27 “Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and then after that, build your house.”

The post #042: Anne Ricci – Anne’s Healthy Kitchen and Prioritizing (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today’s Tip:  Listening!

I want you to “Be All Ears”.  It’s amazing what can happen when you stop just thinking about your own agenda and begin really listening and paying attention to those in your life.

• Focus
• Follow
• Feedback

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  James 1:19  “Know this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

The post #501: 5 Minute Friday – Be All Ears (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today she shares her best practices with us for how to live life with faith and without pretense.  You’re going to really enjoy her!

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• Using the 4 Things List
• Being vulnerable
• Mommy Guilt
• 14 day challenge!

Part 2 – Exciting Update!

Website Links

Christine Leeb Website

4 Real Moms Website

Christine’s Blog

Recommended Resources

Christine’s Book: In His Light: Facing Fear With Faith. You’ll love this!

The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Ormartian

The Power of a Praying Parent, by Stormie Ormartian

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 126:3  “The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.”

The post #039: Christine Leeb – 4 Real Moms (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Several of her books have been New York Times Bestsellers. She has both biological and adopted kids, and when she adopted, she didn’t go for just one, nooooo, she adopted like 10 (just kidding, I think it was 2).  You get the picture right?

Well, the reason I’m mentioning and linking to that post here, is because it was such a totally clear picture of a certain personality type I just couldn’t stand it!  In fact, her blog post title was How to Choose People Over Projects.

Seriously.

She even made printables to help her remember to do this.

Seriously.

Now some of you are like, Wow, that would really help me.  I always find myself thinking how people get in the way of my accomplishments.  And others of you are like, Are you crazy?  Why on earth would you put a project ahead of a relationship?

And there you have the rub.  The personality conflict that causes just that.  Conflict.

Because you want your office mate to drop her project and join you for lunch at the trendy new hot spot.  And she can’t understand how you can even think of leaving the office for lunch, of all things, when the project isn’t finished.

Or your husband wants to take Saturday and explore a new set of trails and you’re fretting and stewing because the new toilet you purchased 3 weeks ago still isn’t installed.

See where the conflict arises?  It’s simple personality conflict.  I would call it Action Annie vs. the rest of us.

Here are 3 positive ways you can work through this difficulty.

1.  Recognize you have different expectations. You might be tempted to think there is something wrong with the other person when they don’t act the way you would.  After all, they clearly have different priorities than you do.

You’ll be able to reconnect when you recognize that these differences aren’t really wrong. They are just different.

2.  Discuss your differing desires. Having an open discussion of these differing expectations will be very productive for you. Once we name it and get it out for discussion, then you can move forward to a solution.

3.  Work out a compromise.  This sounds a lot easier than it actually is of course.  Maybe you can stay through lunch to finish up the project and then celebrate with a brisk walk around the block together after it’s finished.  Or how about working together to get the toilet installed so you can take the afternoon to explore those new trails.

When we change our perspective on these differences, we will be able to appreciate and actually be thankful for the variety in our personalities.  Try these ideas the next time a conflict like this arises and I think you’ll enjoy the positive outcome.

Question:  What are the typical personality conflicts you deal with?  Do they drive you crazy or have you figured out ways to bring out the best?  I’d love to hear your ideas! Just leave your comments below.

P.S. – If you want to know more about The Personalities, you might want to check out some of my first podcasts here and here where I gave an introduction to the various styles.

The post Psst…Your Personality is Showing appeared first on Christy Largent.

As I was thinking about today’s blog post, I realized how powerful this concept of going with your gut can be in the area of our communication.  Let me ask you this…Have you ever had a nudge to speak with someone, but you resisted?  Have you ever shut down that small, quite prodding and just ignored it?

Usually, your self talk will be something like this:

• She’ll think I’m crazy.
• He doesn’t really want to know this.
• Who do I think I am to tell her this?
• She already gets lots of positive feedback, mine wouldn’t add much to the conversation.
• I’m embarrassed to let him know how he has affected me.

and my favorite,

• I’ll feel like an idiot!

But I’m going to suggest today that there are 3 really good reasons you should go with your gut, your intuition, your heart.

1.  There’s a whole lot of stuff we are not cognitively aware of going on out there which our unconscious is responding to – so we’d better pay attention.  David Epstein wrote in his book, The Sports Gene: Inside the Science of Extraordinary Athletic Performance, a story about how many professional baseball players were being struck out by softball phenom Jennie Finch.  How could this be?  How were the strongest and best baseball hitters in the world being struck out by a girl?

Well, it turns out that baseball players don’t really watch the ball coming at them – there’s no time.  What they have become expert at, is reading the body of the pitcher – the minuscule body movements are what tells them where the ball will end up.  Obviously, they were not expert at reading a softball pitcher’s body and suddenly they became just like the rest of us.

2.  The more you respond to your intuition, the more often you will hear it.  I’m sure there’s science about this somewhere, but I have experienced that the more tuned in I am to my heart, the more clearly I hear it.  Whether this is to take dinner to my neighbor, have a conversation with my husband, contact that client or switch into the right lane of traffic, I generally try to act on the feeling.  I don’t know why, but it usually ends up being a very needed action.

And most importantly of all…

 3.  Someone needs what you have to say.  Believe me, if you are feeling a prompting to speak, someone needs to hear you.  I love the story of the woman who was at the end of her rope, barely hanging on to her will to live when a stranger blessed her with a smile and a warm greeting.  That’s such a minor thing to do, but reaching out, even to a stranger, will have an impact far beyond what you will ever know.

When I think about how we communicate, I’m convinced we can have an even more positive effect on people if we pay attention and respond to our gut.  There are a millions cues being thrown about all the time.  We don’t see them, but we’re receiving them.  Our gut, our heart, our intuition is receiving them.

So the next time you get a “gut feeling”…Go for it!  And enjoy the positive results that can happen.

Question:  Have you ever gone with your gut and something amazing happened?  I’d love to hear your stories!  Just leave a note below.

The post 3 Big Reasons to Go With Your Gut appeared first on Christy Largent.

If you’ve ever worked for or with someone who just bugs you, here are 3 suggestions to help you turn a crummy interaction into something positive:

1.  Recognize your feelings.  This is a new skill that I’ve been working on. When you feel that rush of anger or frustration, instead of grabbing it and massaging it and escalating it, simply recognize it.

Try something like, Wow, that comment hurts.  Or, I’m feeling really mad right now.  There’s something about saying the statement out loud or to yourself that will help you process it.

Identify more about why it hurts or is inflammatory.  For example,  When she said I was a bad team player, I feel unappreciated.  My reaction is to get defensive and lash back at her.  Wow, I’m really uncomfortable.

I also recommend you take some deep breaths as you walk yourself through the emotions of the situation.  Try to pinpoint exactly what it is that’s causing such a strong emotional reaction inside of you.  Now you’re ready to…

2.  Figure out if and/or how you are going to address this with her.  My experience is that sometimes you need to address it, and sometimes you just need to let it go.  Let’s be realistic.  With some people, you could talk until you’re blue in the face and it would do NO GOOD! If that’s the case, please, just give yourself the freedom to experience the emotion and then choose to release it.  You might need to take a few deep breaths and physically open your hands outward – breathing out the release as you fan your fingers open.

But if the irritating person is open to honest communication, you would do well to create an assertive dialogue and let them know how their words affected you.  Both of you will do better after that discussion and you can move forward.

Regardless of which step you decide, I always find it helpful to close the interaction with the third idea…

3.  Look for the good.  Find something you appreciate or like about them.  I know that’s a tall order when you’re not feeling very positive towards them and frankly just the fact that they are still taking up space in your universe grates on you like fingernails on a chalkboard, but I promise you — if you will do the exercise of finding just one thing to be thankful for or that you like/admire about them, it will help.

Some suggestions might be, I’m thankful she takes her job so seriously. Or, I’m thankful she follows through. Or, I really like how she is such a professional dresser or if you’re really desperate, I’m thankful she just left the room…JKLOL…as my 2nd grader says

Do you see how I’m suggesting you reframe your mind?  You can do this!  Even if you don’t feel like it now, by recognizing your emotions, figuring out what you are going to do with them, and then creating a positive feeling to close the experience, you are reframing the whole thing on your terms.  And that feels great!

I hope these 3 simple steps will help you to maneuver through the next time you find yourself in the middle of a muddle.

Question:  What are your coping techniques?  Have you tried any of these and how did they work for you?  I’d love to hear your feedback.  Just leave a comment below.

The post 3 Steps to Turn a Bad Interaction Better appeared first on Christy Largent.

That night at the dinner table as I was telling the story, I made sure to give full expression in the retelling.  Wanting my kids to have the full picture of what happened.

As I gave my response, my daughter brought me up short. “Oh, and did you give her that ugly face too?”

“What ugly face?”

“That ugly face you just did when you told the story.”

I was silent as the truth sunk in.  No wonder my colleague responded like she did.  My face and body had said such a different story than what I really meant to say.  It’s not her fault that we all believe more of what we see than what we hear.

Shamefacedly, I admitted the truth.  Yes, I probably had made that ugly face that morning during the conversation. Yikes!

When you think about effective communication, you might sometimes forget how important your facial expressions are.  Obviously, when you’re online, texting or tweeting, it’s not an issue.  But on the phone or especially in person, you want to make sure your face is giving the same message as your words.

Here are 3 ideas that might help you (and me) match our faces to our words.

Smile.  Obviously you can’t smile all the time, but whenever you are listening, it’s helpful for you to have a pleasant expression on your face.  For most of us, a slight, mouth closed smile gives that pleasant look that encourages conversation.  Also, it’s impossible to smile and frown at the same time.

Clear your forehead.  By this I mean, if you have 2 those vertical lines between your eyebrows, or lots and lots of forehead creases, take a moment when you are in the conversation, or even before, to consciously smooth your forehead.  For me, this means I smile (automatically decreases the center lines) and take a deep breath as I run my left hand across my forehead.

Use your eyes.  The eyes are such a great communication tool!  Have you noticed that when you’re really engaged in a conversation, you’re giving good eye contact.  Not staring, but just following the conversation with your eyes.  You look at the other person for a few seconds and then look briefly away.  And when you smile, your smile reaches your eyes.  I know because an engaged smile includes eyes crinkled at the corners.

So I’m hoping that we’ll remember these simple behaviors.  That way, we can be sure our face matches our message.

Question:  What kind of expressions do you find “pop out” when you least expect it?  What are your compensation strategies?  Please leave me a comment below.

The post 3 Ideas to Avoid Making The Ugly Face appeared first on Christy Largent.

Next week I’m going to clean out Amelia’s closet and room.  The poor thing is living with piles upon piles. I was inspired by Kathy Lipp’s new book, Clutter Free: Quick and Easy Steps to Simplifying Your Space.  I plan on writing a blog post about the book later this month, so I’ll let you know how the room project goes!

What I read this week:

Of all of these, I actually only recommend two.

Anne Lamott’s Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace. This collection of essays on faith, family and community are so beautifully written it often makes you cry. I do so love her writing. Despite our faith differences, I’m always pulled towards contemplation when I read her words. Beautiful.

I love a good mystery, so Margaret Maron’s Designated Daughters (A Deborah Knott Mystery) did not disappoint.  Entertaining and fast moving, I enjoyed this quick read.

The other books were either trite (Danielle Steel, what did I expect?!…can you say, Escape!), boring, The Book of Jonah, or too difficult to wade through.  I wanted to love Dallas Willards’ award winning last book, but it was so dense I couldn’t stick with it.  I hope I have better luck next week!  Here’s what that stack looks like.  By the way, can you tell I’m a huge advocate of our public library!

What I’m planning on reading next week:

Wellness Journey:  Well, I’ve successfully completed week 1!  I’m so happy!  Here’s how it’s going so far…

• So far the food has been pretty tasty and easy to prepare.  I like most of it.
• My favorite thing is that the week’s eating is all planned out and even prepackaged so it’s easy for me to get the food out the night before and have it ready to go in the morning.
• I’m drinking a lot and even writing down what I eat.   That’s a huge win for me because I generally tend to fight that kind of restriction.  But I keep telling myself this is just for 4 months (my goal!) and is a means to an end.
• No exercise but I did go to the chiropractor and also get a massage.  I liked that because it’s a way of taking care of myself.  On Thursday I stepped into a hole in the road while crossing the street to my kids’ piano lesson.  I really shocked my body…thus the trip to the chiro.  But I’m strong and I’m on the mend.  Next week I’ll add in some yoga and walking.  That should feel great!

I just don’t like cooking.  There, I said it.  The incredible amount of time (even with use of the crock pot) just drives me crazy!  Thanks to Sara Fragoso and Everyday Paleo, I now know how to cook, but I just don’t like it.  I guess I would like it more if that’s all I had to do…but with a messy home and kids to play with and books to read, for heaven’s sake!, I just don’t enjoy all the time I spend in the kitchen.  So, that’s just a little aside that’s neither here nor there, but I thought some of you might be freed to say the same thing by hearing me say it.  And some of you might have suggestions for how I could simplify so that I like it more.

Professionally:  This week was neat because I finally got my first podcast of the year posted, and have set up a new schedule…so that it will be released on Wednesdays from now on.  The frustrating thing is that for some reason my podcasts since December 1st are not showing up in iTunes…so I spent a ton of time trying to figure that out…and it’s still not fixed! Argh.

I also had a productive work session with my tech helper and the support team from Infusionsoft, the program I purchased for all my emailings and so forth.  It’s another steep learning curve, but I’m so excited to have it because it will allow me to offer all sorts of exciting products and programs directly to you in a professional and automized way.

Next week I have a few big things on my calendar.

• Saturday I’m speaking for a local non-profit, Homes of Hope for Vida, which is an organization that helps victims of domestic abuse with long term housing.  I’ll be working on that program this week.
• I’m also planning on finishing up all the edits of my book and starting on the recording.  My plan is to launch on Tuesday February 3rd, so stay tuned!
• I’m also working on learning more of that infusionsoft support program I mentioned earlier.  As I said, that’s a steep learning curve, so I’m trying to do a little bit every day.
• Add in a new podcast and 2 blog posts, a day trip to San Francisco to take my son to a Dr.’s appointment, filming for my TV-Show all morning Thursday and a field trip with my daughter’s class on Friday, and it’s going to be a very full week!  I hope yours will be fabulous too!

Question:  What are you working on?  What are you looking forward to?  I’d love to hear from you.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Weekend Update appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The magic bullet of Sleep
• Why you should just say NO!
• Power in Planning
• Focusing on Wellness not Weight
• Learning lessons from failures

Part 2 – My Wellness Journey

Website Links

Connie Clay Website

Dr. Daniel Amen and Amen Clinics

Recommended Resources

Connie’s Book – Quit Skinny!: 7 Simple, Sane Steps to Wellness

The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Get Thinner, Smarter, Happier, by Dr. Daniel Amen

Master Your Metabolism: The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body!, by Jillian Michaels

Jillian Michaels: Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism, Jillian Michaels DVD

And I’m adding this since we talked about saying “No” and it’s not easy! The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

And I’m also adding these – since these are helping me get to the emotional part of why I eat what I eat.
Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food, by Lysa TerKeurst

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 107:9  “For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.”

The post #038: Quit Skinny with Connie Clay and My Wellness Journey (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Sometimes getting started is the hardest work of all.

Do you know what I mean?  Doing the work is the fun part – getting started is the challenge.  I’m a great one for planning out and creating a big vision broken down into smaller, actionable steps.  But then I have to stop and go get the kids from school or start dinner, or clean up after the dog.

And once I’m stopped, it’s often difficult to get back into the swing of work again.  So, as a practical matter, I’ve decided to use my early morning hours as a kind of “bonus” time for the next year month, and see how it works out.  I’ll let you know!

I’m behind on my podcasts and obviously on my blog posts as well…to be honest, I’ve been a bit distracted as I’m beginning a new nutrition plan. (Notice how I didn’t say “diet”.) After doing all my work on goals and plans for 2015, the one thing staring me in the face was that big-old-fat goal of losing weight!

I know for some of you, you have NO IDEA what I’m talking about.  You never saw a cookie you couldn’t resist.  But many of you will be tracking along with me here. Right?

For some reason, this weight albatross has been hanging around for far too long and I’ve decided to get some help cutting it off…No, not a surgeon!  But I’m working with both a physical coach and a mental coach to get me realigned with where I really want to be.

Last Friday when I walked up the steps to my first appointment with the health coach, my heart was beating a tattoo, my hands were shaking and I had that familiar tight feeling in my chest. (No, not from taking the stairs either!)

As we got into the meeting and she began taking my measurements, she just chuckled.  “You don’t like this much, do you Christy?”  I grinned ruefully as she added, “It’s written all over your face.”

All I could think about was what if this doesn’t work.  What if I fail again?  And what on earth makes me think I can be successful this time when I’ve failed so many, many times before?  And how embarrassing this whole thing is anyway.

But right in the middle of our conversation I realized this is nothing but that ravaging beast FEAR rearing it’s nasty head once again.  Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough. Fear of…well, you fill in the blank.

Because this time my fear was wrapped around the ridiculous obstacle of weight loss.  But what is yours wrapped around? And how can you be brave and fearless in overcoming it today?

My personal prescription for bravery today includes writing this blog post.  Being honest with you about what’s going on with me feels quite scary and dare I say it…vulnerable?

Because, after all, I’m a speaker and trainer on communication skills – not lifestyle blogging or health and wellness, right?

But one thing I know for sure, is that for me, it’s darn near impossible to keep limping along in failure in this one area, while expecting to be able to give you my A-Game in my professional endeavors. Because after 15 years of this gig – I know you can spot a phony a million miles away.

So I won’t be a phony.  I’ll be authentic with all my foibles.  I’ll lay them out on the table, and then after that’s finished, we’ll get to talk about personality styles, and getting along with difficult people, and how to create fantastic customer relationships, and all the other topics I love to help you with.

I have all kinds of exciting things ahead for us this year.  This month I’ll finally release my 31 Positive Communication Skills for Women Devotional.  Next up I’ve got an awesome free webinar I’ll be offering on the topic of Getting Along With Difficult People.  We’ll follow that up in late February with my first ever online bootcamp — Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  More on all of this later…it’s so exciting!

In the meantime, I’d like to re-vamp my blog schedule a bit.  This is what you can expect.

• Monday:  Communication Skills — Strategies you can use
• Wednesday:  Encouraging Words for Working Moms Podcast
• Friday:  Personality Styles — Bring out the best and dealing with the worst
• Weekend: Update on my weight loss getting fit, healthy and strong journey along with periodic updates on what I’m doing and the books I’m reading.  I really enjoy those posts from some of my favorite bloggers, so I thought since I’m such a reading freak,  I’d share my reading adventures with you.

Well, if you’ve read this far…thank you!  I love you too!  Be sure you’re subscribed to my site to get all the updates, new stuff and freebies I’ll be bringing out this year.

Question:  I’d love to know what your challenges are this year.  Are you already off to the races or are you still circling the bay trying to get up the nerve to get started?  What are you working on this year? What’s holding you back?  I’d love to hear from you!  Just leave your comments below – on the blog or FB – either are great!

The post How’s Your Year Going So Far? My Honest Confession… appeared first on Christy Largent.

No longer will you get consumed by the urgency of life. Everything is going to be intentional and designed to move you closer and closer to the life you’ve always wanted.  And best of all, 12 months from now you’ll be looking back on 2015 with a smile thinking about all that you’ve accomplished in 2015.

It truly will be your Best Year Ever.

Sounds wonderful doesn’t it!  But how on earth is this going to happen?  What’s going to be different this year that will make 2015 different from every other year in your past?  How will you approach this year so that these aren’t just good intentions, but rather your new reality?

On Wednesday, January 7th, you can find out.

My favorite virtual mentor, New York Times best-selling author Michael Hyatt will be delivering a special webinar presentation called:

Get What You Want This Year: 5 Secrets for Finally Accomplishing Your Biggest Goals

It’s designed to help YOU make 2015 your best year ever and I don’t want you to miss it!  You can attend (no charge), by clicking the link below:

Best Year Ever Live Webinar

I know you’ll hear just what you need to hear so that you too can make this your Best Year Ever!

Love ya!

Christy

P.S.  This webinar is FREE and I just learned this morning that they are almost full, so I want you to be sure to get in on this since there won’t be a replay.  Better reserve your place fast!

Best Year Ever Live Webinar

The post Making 2015 Amazing! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Timeless truths I embraced this year…

1.  You can do more than you realize.  When I review what I did during the past year, and all the new stuff I learned, I’m really encouraged.  Just because I’m not in school doesn’t mean I can’t still be learning and growing and this year proved it for me, and it is true for you too.

2.  Get help.  There are so many people who can help you – figure out what you need and then ask for help.  The right person will appear. The book by Amanda Palmer called, The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help is a great resource if you are ready to get inspired to ask in your own life.

Areas to get help:

• Personally – therapist for help with the inside
• Physically – trainer at the gym
• Professionally – help with technical aspects.  Mentor. Professional development via webinars and conferences.  What conferences will you go to next year?  What seminars will you attend.  Who do you want more of?  You are the combination of the 5 people you hang around the most.  Who are you inviting into your life?

3.  It’s never too late to go for your dreams.  Figuring out what you really want to do is actually fun.  Take the time to make yourself a rough sketch and then start.  Don’t wait for perfection.  Lots of people talk about being imperfect and how to manage your perfectionism…get whatever help you need to get started and then start.  Once you start, then the pieces will sort themselves out.  Michael Hyatt’s Best Year Ever will help you get started with your dreams and then help you get started!

Next year – here are the 2 things I’m going to remind myself of daily so I stay focused:

1.  Take care of myself first.  The biggest “fail” of the year was with my weight and health.  Wait, let me rephrase that.  The area where I had the least amount of progress — and maybe even experienced regress was in the area of my weight and health.

I did train for and complete a 1/2 marathon, but at a heavy weight and kind of with the least effort possible principle.  2015 is going to be different.  I’m putting this effort front and center.  I know all the other stuff will fall into place as I figure out this piece of my life.

2.  Do more of what I love.  When I was doing my goal setting I discovered that of all the things I enjoyed this past year, the best part was still what drove me to work in the first place.  Speaking and teaching still top the charts and make me happiest.  So,  I’m going to make sure and do more of that this next year.  All the other stuff will still be there – but as supporting rolls to help create more opportunity to do more of what I love.

More speaking.  More stories.  More entertaining.  More laughter.  More connecting.

2015 Word of the Year:    Routine 

I have 1 outstanding, terrific and fabulous routine.  Every night I wash my face utilizing a system.  I also floss and brush my teeth.  My morning average is about 95%, but the evening is 99.9999999999%.  And this is since 1984.  30 Years! Seriously, I cannot remember a single night I have gone to bed without washing my face and brushing my teeth.  Flossing is about 98.999999%.  My night-time rituals I don’t even think about.  They are so routine as to be a ritual.  No thinking —  I just do them.  30 years!

Here’s the deal.  If I can do it in one area of my life (my face) then I can do it in others.  So my word for the year is Routine.  I’ll learn to love it.  Learn to embrace it.  Learn to flourish in the midst of it.  That will be growth!

“Routine enables creativity to flourish.”

Encouraging Word for the Year:  Proverbs 16:9 (NIRV)  “In their hearts human beings plan their lives.  But the Lord decides where their steps will take them.”

Question:  What about you?  What did you learn this year?  What are you going to focus on next year?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please leave your comments below.

The post #037: Timeless Truths of 2014 and Focus for 2015 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• How to get started writing
• Ideas for finding connect in the midst of a dry spell
• How conferences and the global church can heal relationships
• The power of seasonal sabbath
• Using time blocks to create focus
• Making time for what energizes not depletes

Part 2 – Seasons, Community and Getting Energized

• Seasons of Life
• Building Community
• Energy to get Energized

Website Links

Denise Hughes website

Deeper Waters Community

Deeper Waters Retreat, June 26-28, 2015

Team 365

Denise’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain

My Utmost for His Highest: Quality Paperback Edition, by Oswald Chambers

The Pursuit of God, by A. W. Tozer

In This House, We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love, and Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life, by Courtney DeFeo

Favorite Quote:  “If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you can.  If you do not, someone will be the poorer all the days of his life.” Oswald Chambers

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 133:1  “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”

The post #036: Denise J. Hughes and Community (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Oh wait?  You don’t? You say you don’t feel like that, but that you feel overwhelmed. Discouraged. Stressed out.  Oh, good.  Me too.  You’re in the right place, so you’d better read on.

As I was considering what I could write that would be of value to you this weekend, I was reminded that the root of so much of our difficulties during the holidays (and all year long, actually) is nothing more than comparison in disguise.

Comparison.  I’m sure you’re aware of the obvious ways comparison sneaks in.  Fakebook err, Facebook being the easiest and most obvious example.  Instagram and even highly anticipated holiday letters can be added to the list.

It’s easy to recognize the way Facebook makes us compare isn’t it?  Your decorations/children/vacations/husband/job/home/car/jewelry are nothing like the perfect neighbor down the street or the blogger across the country are they?

But, have you ever thought of the most insidious ways comparison sneaks into your life?

Have you ever stopped to consider that every time you compare your current reality with the one that you wish you had, you are setting yourself up for dissatisfaction, discontent, discouragement and even depression.

Worst of all, comparison devalues what is.  A basic tenant of The Grace Advantage is to “Accept What Is”  You can’t do that when you are comparing.  Because when you compare, you always come out the loser.  You are the loser when you feel pride of how much better you are and you are the loser when you see how much “less than” your life is.

Ouch!  Comparison cuts deep even when it’s just with our own idealized ideas of who we or our family should be or could be or even worse, ought to be.

If you’re feeling defeated, here are 3 simple words that just might help.

1.  Gratitude.  Before you start running down the list of “lack” in your mind this morning, stop and give thanks.  Look around you.  Gather your family close and kiss their sweet cheeks and say thank you.  Thank God for a roof over your head (even if it’s leaking!)  Thank Him for your car.  Thank Him for money to buy gas.  Thank Him for the abundance that allows your jeans to get tighter.  Ahem.  Thank Him for the challenging job that takes every negotiating skill you have.  Get the picture?  Get thankful.

2.  Giving.  Give up and give out. Give up your schedule to snuggle close and watch your son play Angry Birds. Give up your plans for the afternoon to meet your husband for lunch.  Give up your expectations for perfection and enjoy the beauty of the imperfection of life.

Give out of your abundance and out of your lack.  Any cans in the pantry you could share with the mission this weekend?  Any books you could pass along to the library? Scheduling time to ring the Salvation Army bell with your kids in front of Target is given out of your lack of time isn’t it? Yet you can choose to do it.

Giving requires you stop the navel-gazing and take a look around.  Who needs what you have?  You do have to look at yourself – but through the prism of how what you have and more importantly, who you are, can benefit others.  You are who you are and with what you have because there is an impact you can make.  It’s not all about you!  (Reminding myself too!!)  It’s not all about you.  But all about others and the impact you can make in their life.  Get giving.

3.  Grace.  Undeserved favor.  Who can you bless with grace this week?  Who can you love and accept just as they are?  Right now!  Without fixing a single thing about them.  Without expecting anything in return.  Undeserved favor.  We all need it.  We all can live it.

When we are thankful, giving and full of grace, suddenly comparison shows up as the ugly impostor it really is.  The counterfeit sensations comparison imparts fade quickly in the face of authentic living.  Living out gratitude.  Living out Generosity.  Living out Grace.

Now let’s get going!  I’ll meet you at the mall.

Question:  How does comparison rob you of joy?  What do you do that works to help you stop comparing?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave a comment below.

The post 3 Words That Can Change Everything appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The positive and powerful results of allowing your work to flow from your passion, experiences and point of need
• What team parenting looks like
• Teaching kids responsibility
• The power of compartmentalizing
• Getting real about where you need help – and then getting it
• Why you should figure out how to surround yourself with people who can do what you can’t
• Giving yourself grace
• Finding peace through obedience

Part 2 – How to Recognize When Quitting is the Right Choice

• Take a good look at where you are
• Recognize that quitting IS an option
• Moving forward
• Using Goals as a measuring stick of what’s working…and what’s not working
• Videos to Your Best Year Ever program by Michael Hyatt

Website Links

Crystal Paine

• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Youtube
• Instagram

Ruth Soukup

• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Instagram

 Recommended Reading

Crystal Paine

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life, by Crystal Paine

Choose Gratitude: Blessings Journal, by Crystal Paine

Ruth Soukup

Living Well, Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life, by Ruth Soukup

How To Blog For Profit: Without Selling Your Soul, by Ruth Soukup

31 Days To A Clutter Free Life: One Month to Clear Your Home, Mind & Schedule, by Ruth Soukup

Finding your strengths….StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Question:  There were so many good ideas discussed – which was most impactful for you?  Have you ever had an experience where you quit…and felt good about it?  I’d love to hear your stories – just leave a comment below.

The post #035: Crystal Paine and Ruth Soukup – The Money Saving Mom and Living Well Spending Less Bloggers Share From Their Hearts appeared first on Christy Largent.

Their reaction surprised me at first, and then it made me laugh, and then it made me think.  As soon as I started talking about goals, I was interrupted by Balazs – one of my brighter students.  “Oh Miss Largent,” he said, “You Americans are so concerned with goals and New Year’s Resolutions.  Why are you so obsessed with these things?  You must be like the Hungarians and just let things happen.”

Join me today as I discuss the power of pursing goals well.  2014 has been one of my Best Years Ever and I credit it to Michael Hyatt and his 5 Days To Your Best Year Ever Program.  I did this last year, and it made a huge impact in my life.

And I’m not alone!  Last year there were over 3,000+ people who went through the program – and there are some amazing stories of people experiencing incredible transformations in their life.  You can see my own personal video testimonial by clicking  here.

I want you to know you can experience the same!

Some key ideas:

1.  Get crystal clear

2.  Write it down

3.  Get someone to come along side to help and encourage you…(register through my link and you can be a part of my private Facebook group, where we will work together, on our Best Year Ever encouraging each other all year.)

4.  Don’t delay!  Registration is only open for the a very short period of time. After that, Michael will close it down to focus on supporting the new class of people going through the program.  Early Bird Deadline! Dec 18th

I have a feeling you might be like I was in the summer of 2013.  Sick and tired of feeling stuck and not sure how to move yourself forward.  If you know deep down that you’re capable of more but you don’t know how to experience the kind of breakthrough you deserve, then go check this out:  I promise you will find 2015 really will  be your best year ever!

Resource Link:  Your Best Year Ever – be sure to click “I’m interested” and scroll down to see my own personal 5 minute story of how the program worked for me last year!

Encouraging Word of the Week: Proverbs 21:5 ESV  “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”

The post #034: Making 2015 Your Best Year Ever (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

How did I do?  From the list of goals above, here’s what happened:  I re-started my speaking business, completed my website, had regular blog posts (what you are reading now), my podcast is being downloaded all over the world, I ran the San Jose 1/2 marathon (instead of a Tough Mudder) and as we close out December, my book is ready to be published next week.  Not everything, but a huge percentage of my original list.

What’s interesting is that the list of completed goals is more complete this year than it has ever been in all my years of goal setting.  What happened that made such a difference?  Why was I able to accomplish so much this year when for so many years my goals were thwarted?

In thinking it through, I realized I did 2 things differently last December.  2 things you might want to do this December if you are looking for growth in your own life.  Here they are.

1.  I realigned with my passion and got extremely clear on what I wanted.  As you probably know, last year I pulled back from my Arbonne business and re-entered my speaking business.  My heart is here.  My passion is here.  And what a difference it has made.  When I look at my to-do list each morning, I actually enjoy most of what I have to do.  I look forward to each day’s individual activities, and am quite enthusiastic about all the possibilities.

Here’s my question for you – are you doing what you love?  Are you even clear on what you love?  If not, I recommend you dig deep and really figure out what you were put here on earth to do.  I have a program I did last year I’d be happy to send you if want help in figuring out your passion and purpose.  It has helped a lot of people and I think it would help you too.  Being aligned is critical because once you are, you can move easily into figuring out what you want.

2.  I took Michael Hyatt’s 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever course.  I know, you’ve probably taken a goal setting course or two in your lifetime.  I had too.  And frankly, when I saw the opportunity to add one more thing to my list I was a bit hesitant.  But then I watched his free videos and found real value.  So I went ahead and signed up for it.  It was clear, practical and action oriented.  I think my results speak volumes about the value of the course.

You might think – “Yes, but you could have done all you did without taking Michael’s course.”  And maybe you’re right.  But, the fact remains I did take his course and it really was my best year ever.

He has created a new and improved free video series that gives great value now, and also gives you a taste of the updated program.  He is also running a special this year if you sign up before December 18th.  I want you to take advantage of this program.  (Notice, these are affiliate links,  yes, I get a thank you payment from Michael if you sign up through my link.)  At the very least, watch these 3 free videos and let me know what you think.  Just click on any of these highlighted words, and you’ll go straight to the videos.

What have you got to lose?  Just think, 2015 really could be Your Best Year Ever!

And as a bonus…I’m so excited about what this could do in your life, I’m creating a Private Facebook group for everyone who purchases this program through my link.  We will get to encourage each other on throughout this next year as we go for our even bigger, hairy, audacious goals together!!  After all, I’ve still got 40 lbs to lose in 2015!  Just send me an email and let me know you purchased through my link and I’ll add you to the group.

Question:  What has held you back from accomplishing your goals in the past?  What are you going to do differently this year to make sure you set and meet your goals?  I’d love to hear your ideas!  Just leave a comment below.

The post I Hit My Goals and You Can Too! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The #1 lesson for a Mompreneur
• The positive effects of schedule and routine
• Why she uses a family calendar and how you can too
• How to use the “Sunday Summit” to streamline and supercharge your week
• Where to find a safe place for support

Part 2 – Set Yourself Up for a Successful Month

• Sleep Enough
• Plan, then Schedule
• Clear out the clutter
• Get busy and enjoy it all

Because I’m brave enough to show the real way I sometimes (frequently) live!  Oh, it’s painful to be honest!

Website Links

www.theresaceniccola.com

www.icmnetwork.com

www.typeaparent.com

Theresa’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, by Michael Hyatt

Connect with Theresa

Email:  theresa@theresaceniccola.com

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  “A Time for Everything”
“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

The post #033: Theresa Ceniccola – International Christian Mompreneur Network (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Yet the challenge to be thankful is an ongoing one.  In fact, the conflict of “not enough” comes screaming back full force just hours after the feast is over.  For the past few years, the reminder of how we don’t have enough is even creeping up on us earlier and earlier. (My newspaper and inbox were full of special sale ads starting about 10 days before Thanksgiving.)

You know what I’m talking about don’t you?  ‘Black Friday’ hits with the ferocity and intensity of Niagra Falls.  Black Friday SHOUTS.  I’m convinced its message is not really about the stuff though – I think it’s deeper than that.  It’s the lie of the enemy that we not only don’t have enough, indeed we aren’t enough.

And that’s the tender spot isn’t it?  I believe the lie that if I just get that set of matching luggage, then I will be stylish enough.  If I just load my kids down with that new doll/truck/game, then I will be a good enough mother.  If I get my husband the latest tool, then I’ll be a good enough wife.  Oh, and if I will just be wise enough to take advantage of the incredible pricing on those things I really don’t need and don’t have room for anyway, then I’ll be a savvy enough homemaker.  Oi vay!  It’s enough to make your head spin.

And that’s what the father of lies wants, right?   He wants me to spin my head from the truth that none of that stuff matters because I am accepted and loved just as I am.  The truth that not one thing I do or say or buy will change my value.  I already am enough.

Interestingly, it’s the same lie I tell myself when my relationships start breaking down.  The lie that my lack is why I can’t fully connect.  I imagine that if only I were more (fill in the blank) then we would become better friends, coworkers, (fill in the blank).

Truth, is that when we are wiling to recognize the lie for what it is (never fulfilling) and start being thankful for what we already have that our relationships can start being repaired.  Truth, is that it’s only through gratitude that I am able to fully experience contentment and peace.

Today I wish you peace through gratitude.  When your sibling hurts your feelings, be thankful feelings will mend.  When your parents give you unsolicited advice, be grateful you still have parents.  When your kids misbehave, disobey and embarrass you, be thankful they are independent thinkers.  When you eat too much and have to unbutton your jeans, be thankful for the bounty.

So tonight, before we set our alarm for 3am in order to head out for early shopping, let’s stop and take an inventory of all we already have. All we have in our relationships, our health, our work and indeed our lives.   My hope is that our grateful hearts will realize just how full they already are.

The post Grateful Hearts appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The Power of small decisions
• What to say when someone you love is making bad decisions
• To keep secrets….or not?
• How to move forward after a bad mistake

Part 2 – Moving through Messiness

• Honesty
• Forgiveness – Colossians 3:12-14
• Face down Fear

Website Links

www.JacqueWatkins.com

The Mud Stories Podcast

Jacque’s Resource Recommendations

www.momastery.com (Glennon Melton)

Jacque’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp

One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces, by Ann Voskamp

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14  “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

The post #032: Jacque Watkins – It’s a Messy Life (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

In light of the overload most of us constantly feel, I thought it would be helpful and refreshing for us to consider how we can be effective in telling people our thoughts and ideas in a way that’s “right the first time.”  So, here for your consideration are three suggestions to help you do just that.

1. Be respectful of the person.  The next time your employee suggests an idea you think is ridiculous – remember to focus your response on the idea, not the person.  As you are respectful of the person, get specific with your responses to the idea so they know you are skeptical of the idea, not them as an employee.
2. Get to the point.  Head right to the comment without padding it with extra words or fillers like um, and , ahh, so, like, etc.  The more you add needless words to what you are saying, the more likely you are to lose your listener and undermine your credibility.
3. Make suggestions for improvement instead of criticizing.  Many years ago I had a speaking coach who would intentionally sit in on my program and then make suggestions on how I could improve.  Her way of suggesting improvements was fabulous.  She used the “Like best” and “Next time” technique.  First, she would tell me what she liked best about the program.  Then she would say, “Christy, next time, instead of telling that joke at the beginning of the program, tell it at the end.”  By using the like best and next time method, I could hear what was working and what wasn’t working.  The bonus was that I did not get defensive at the criticism because I heard ways to improve…and that is what I really wanted all along anyway.

As we head into the holiday season, I know we’ll all have lots of opportunities to practice communicating with people who are really important to us.  I hope you can stick these 3 additional ideas into your communication toolbox and whip them out the next time you need to say it right the first time.

Question:  Which of these are most difficult for you to do?  Do you ever get stuck when you don’t know what to say so you say nothing?  Have you experienced someone else doing these things for you? How did it feel?  Please leave your comments below!

The post 3 Strategies to Say It Right The First Time appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:
Part 1:  Interview

• Effectively using your gifts
• How amazing stuff can happen when you wait on God’s timing
• How to give up what’s not working
• The importance of seeking wise counsel
• Forgiveness
• A strategy to stop comparing
• The power of a great Mission Statement

Part 2: How to create Your Own Mission Statement

“Find out what your lane is”, Courtney DeFeo

1.  Ask – What are my passions and areas of natural giftedness?  

• What is my special passion?
• What do I do better than anyone else?  (Where do my gifts and talents line up?)
• How do I do this?  What does it look like?
• What am I creating/designing/building?
• What is the result I’m looking for?
• What keeps me up at night?

2.  Answer – What are we about?  What am I about?

3.  Application – Write it down, memorize it and use this as a filter for making decisions about opportunities as well as staying focused

Courtney’s Website links and favorite Podcasts:
courtneydefeo.com
Catalyst
Andy Stanley
Louie Giglio

Courtney’s Recommended Reading and Resources:
In This House, We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love, and Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life, by Courtney DeFeo

Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child’s Heart with God’s Extravagant Grace, by Jeannie Cunnion

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

**Watch for her darling “Conversation Cups” to be available January 2015**

Encouraging Word of the Week:  “God has already woven in you a beautiful story.” Courtney DeFeo
Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Question:  What part of this interview spoke to you the most?  What idea did you really connect with?  Do you want Courtney’s new book?  Just leave your favorite parts of this interview below and on Friday, November 14, 2014, I’ll pick one winner from all the commenters.

The post #029: Courtney DeFeo – A House that Giggles and Mission Statements (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

And I guess there’s really nothing like a drama with a loved one to remind you why we’re doing all this communication stuff in the first place.

I can give you all kinds of tips and techniques on how to be a more effective communicator. But the bottom line reason we learn and do all this is so we can love each other better. Right?  We want to learn how to act and speak and express ourselves in the best way so that the people in our lives feel loved.

Does that make sense to you?  Who in your life do you wish knew how much you loved them?  Do you communicate that love? What’s getting in the way of your truth? This morning I’m drawn to think of this…and here are the 2 main questions I’m asking myself.

1.  Is my style getting in the way of my message?  Yesterday I spoke about being a passive, aggressive or assertive communicator.  That message was straight from my heart.  You see,  I am really strong.  I come across as strong. I have to work hard to dial down from aggressive to assertive, and sometimes even assertive is too much.  And sometimes that ‘natural style’ is getting in the way of my message.

When I’m trying to talk with Amelia or Tom about something that I’m passionate about, (almost everything) I think I get too wound up and my words, tone, body all end up sending messages that actually shut them down.  Do you have that challenge?  Or do you go the other way, and you shut down when you get passionate?  I think both of these can be a challenge.  I have to remember, it’s not all about me…it’s about communicating well.  Because I LOVE THEM.

2.  Do I find ways to communicate love even when I’m stressed and busy and overwhelmed?  When I think of all the times I’ve thought of my telling my mother something and not texted her, or bragged about my sister and not called her, or even been angry with my dad and talked about him instead of talking with him, it makes my heart sad.  I’m supposed to be teaching this stuff!  Instead, I so often fail in the execution of the communication.

How about you?  Would it help your relationships if you were more intentional communicating your love to those in your life?  I want to take each opportunity to communicate love and not put it off until later.  Because, as I’m being so forcibly reminded today, there’s no guarantee of tomorrow, and I want to rest assured I’m communicating my love the best possible way every day.

So for now, thanks for following along this month as I’ve posted every day.  Whew.  31 Blog Posts in 31 days.  Definitely a new record for me.  I’ve learned some things along the way, so there will probably be a post about that in the future. (Not tomorrow!!)  I want you to know I appreciate each of you and how you have commented and encouraged me.  It’s meant more than you will ever know.  So here’s our take-away.  Let’s commit together to using powerful  communication to create positive relationships so that we can live purposeful lives.  I think we’ll all be glad we did.

This is Day 31 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Does today’s discussion ring true with you?  Which post, of the past 31 days was your favorite?  Why?  Please leave your thoughts below.

The post Day 31 – Why Are We Working At This Stuff Anyway? (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

So as I celebrated my birthday just this past Monday, I thought it would be appropriate to do an analysis of what went as planned and what didn’t and what was per expectations and what was way over expectations.  Well, I guess you get the idea.

Following are the top 5 lessons I learned in this past year.  Maybe these will help you too as you navigate this life of constant change.

Lesson #1:  Everything will take much longer than you anticipate.

Lesson #2:  The learning curve will be steeper than you imagined.

Lesson #3:  You can’t do everything at once.

Lesson #4:  You will get discouraged.

Lesson #5:  You will succeed if you stay consistent with effort over time.

Favorite Books of the Year:

Fiction:
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie: A Flavia de Luce Mystery, by Alan C. Bradley

Letters from Skye: A Novel, by Jessica Brockmole

Still Life (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache Mysteries, No. 1), by Louise Penny

Nutrition/Health/Faith:
Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth about Wheat, Carbs, and Sugar–Your Brain’s Silent Killers, by Dr. David Perlmutter

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner

The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living, by Nick Ortner

What Happens When Women Pray, by Evelyn Christenson

Business:
The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months, by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, by Michael Hyatt

The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition, by Strunk and White

Encouraging Word of the Week:
Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.”
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

The post #028: Christy Largent – 5 Big Lessons from a Year of Change (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Passive Communicator – “A reluctance and/or inability to confidently express what you think and feel.”

This person is quiet, shy and rarely says what they really think or feel.  They will keep their thoughts to themselves, often taken extreme amounts of time to think about what they will say before they say it.  They expect you to read their minds since they have limited body language and facial expressions.

My favorite story about passive communicators happened when I was speaking in Minot, North Dakota.  I had a group of 40 women in my “Powerful Communication Skills for Women” class.  The majority of them were of Scandinavian descent. (Internal processors and typically passive communicators.)  Throughout the day, I was getting basically no visible response from them.  I would say something funny and they would crack a slight smile or nod their heads.  As someone who gets their energy from other people, all day long I was giving myself pep talks, reminding myself that they were engaging on the inside, even if I couldn’t see much of a spark on the outside.  At the end of the day I was shaking hands at the door saying goodbye.  One after another of the women told me how much they loved the class.  One woman generously proclaimed, “This was the best class I’ve ever attended.”  “Oh, thank you,” I replied. “Yes,” she continued, “My favorite part was how you got us all so involved!”  Inside my head, I was screaming, “When? I missed it!”

That’s a funny story, but it illustrates the difficulty others can have with passive communicators.  Because passive communicators tend to keep everything inside, others can be at a loss to know their real feelings.  They are also very good at using passive aggressive manipulation to get what they want.  (I think passive-aggressive behavior is a post for another day.)

Aggressive Communicator – “Intimidates, demeans and degrades another person – behavior that results in a put-down, causing defensiveness and hurt.”

You’ve meet these aggressive communicators.  They are intent on getting their way and letting you know it.  The classic aggressive communicator can be found on the school yard – we call him a bully.  Or maybe she’s the one in your daughter’s peer group who is the dominate force.  She tells all the other girls what they should do and how they should do it.   An out of control aggressor uses their threat of anger to manipulate those around her.

The Aggressive Communicator uses their body language with their hands on their hips, their fingers pointing at you (while they shake their hand) and the scowl on their face to get their messages across.

Assertive Communicator:  “Confidently express what you think, feel and believe.  Standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others.”  

You love these people.  They know what they want and they share it assertively.  When you finish a conversation with this assertive person, you feel great!  Encouraged and energized because you have been on the receiving end of healthy, life-affirming communication.

So, which kind of communicator are you?  By nature, most of us fall into either passive or aggressive.  Most of us have to learn how to be an assertive communicator.  It helps if your family of origin used good, healthy communication.  But even if they were too far on either end, you can learn to communicate assertively.

This month of October I’ve given you 30 specific ideas on how to be most effective with assertive communication.  I hope you will take these ideas and move yourself into the assertive category.  Your friends, family and co-workers will thank you and you’ll be empowered knowing you can use these tools to create a life of strong, active and relationship building communication.

This is Day 30 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which category do you fall into?  What challenges have you experienced with your own natural style?  How have you worked around your style to get better results?  I’d love to hear your stories and comments.  Please comment below.

The post Day 30 – Your Communication Style (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Choose Generosity.  J. Paul Getty was known for being the richest man in the world.  He was also known as one of the most stingy…even refusing to pay ransom when a grandson got kidnapped!  By the time he died in 1976 he had alienated all his children as well as his five former wives.  Contrast that with Dave Thomas of Wendy’s fame.  He was known for being generous of spirit with himself as well as his money.  Over his lifetime he gave away millions of dollars, as well as hours and hours of his time and passion in his interest of helping others.  He said, “Share your success and help others succeed.  Give everyone a piece of the pie.  If the pie’s not big enough, make a bigger pie.”  Which person would you like to model yourself after?  You get to choose.  Choose generosity.

Value People.  Think of what you love.  Your home, car, boat, jewelry.  I’ll bet you spend time and money maintaining these items.  What about the people you value?  Why is it so easy to pursue the things we love instead of the people we love?  (I actually think the answer to that is a whole different blog post!)  Find ways to value people.  The best and simplest is to listen to them.  Spend time with them.  Help them feel heard.  I was listening to a podcast recently and the speaker challenged us to “add energy” in our every encounter.  When you leave someone, is their energy higher or lower?  You can be an energy giver or taker.  You get to choose.  Choose — every day in every way I will add value to others.

Do It Every Day.  “Do all the good you can, to all the people you can, in all the ways you can as long as you can.”  D.L. Moody.  Don’t wait for your income or circumstances to change – just begin!  Science is now showing how our behavior impacts our mind.  Living generously will make us generous people.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “what are we doing for others?”  Choose to act every day.

My friend Amy Sullivan, has written a wonderful book to help you teach generosity to yourself and your kids.  You can find it here.  The title, When More is Not Enough – How to Stop Giving Your Kids What They Want and Give Them What They Need really says it all. Tons of creative ideas are found here. Additionally, my friend Courtney DeFeo has a terrific program she created called “Light ‘Em Up”. Check it out here.  Designed to be done with your kids, it’s a great way to teach by doing.  Oh, and it’s fun!

In closing, let me leave you with a thought from Ann Voskamp, “When someone stops doing nothing, and just starts doing something, this is what starts to change everything.”  Today is your day.  Start.

This is Day 29 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Is it difficult for you to be generous?  How do you motivate yourself to choose generosity?

The post Day 29 – Live Generously (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When Receiving Feedback:

Ask for clarification.  What’s your response when your boss says, “You don’t seem to care much bout your job these days.” Do you get defensive and react or do you take a deep breath and ask for clarification like this…”What am I doing that gives you that impression?”  Asking for clarification is a good way to slow down the conversation and get it headed in a more productive direction.

Ask for specifics.  When your coworkers says, “You’re really trying to get on the bosses good side,” rather than reacting with a sarcastic or cutting response, just turn it around and ask, “Oh, what makes you say that?”  You’ll shut her negativity down without engaging in any of your own.

Respond don’t react.  Sometimes people give us feedback that we weren’t expecting.  When you give yourself space to respond, you’re setting yourself up for success.  A sentence like “I’d like to think about what you just said and get back with you about it later this afternoon,” is perfectly acceptable and preferable to an angry reaction.  You dictate how you will engage with someone.  Don’t give your power away to them.

Expect the positive.  One time I was speaking to a group of trucking executives in Montana.  Throughout the day I noticed one man in the front row who seemed to visibly disagree with everything I said.  During one interactive time, I asked, “What is it? You obviously don’t agree with me.”  “Oh no!” he exclaimed, “I was just thinking how much I agree with you and that you were hitting on everything that was going wrong with my company.  I’ve been thinking of all the ways I could fix the problems.”  Oh my.  I had completely mis-read his body language and because I had been expecting the worst (based on what I saw) I was expecting a negative response.  What a great lesson.  Look for, and expect the best.  Most of the time, it’s out there, just waiting for you to discover it.

Give grace.  Sometimes people spout off without thinking, giving you feedback that should have much more prudently gone unspoken.  If that happens to you, I’d encourage you to just skip it and forget it.  Life is too short to nurse grudges against people who have said ugly things to you.  Just this morning I had to give myself this very advice as one of my clients spoke extremely rudely and aggressively to me.  My feelings were hurt.  And then I remembered that I could give him grace and just let it go.  All of us have some days that are better than others.  By giving grace you allow others the freedom for a not-so-perfect day…and who knows, maybe next time you’ll be the one on the receiving end of the grace-giving.

This is Day 28 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question: How are you at accepting feedback?  Is it easy for you or do you, (like I), get defensive? And can you share a story when you received grace from someone?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 28 – How to Say It — Receiving Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Communicating what you really think or feel is part of everyday life.  Doing it with finesse and tact is a skill you can learn to master. Giving and receiving feedback is an especially important art of communication.  Today we will talk about giving feedback and tomorrow about receiving feedback.

When you are Giving Feedback:

Be Specific:  When someone is having difficulty with getting their work turned in on time, say, “I’ve noticed that in February, March and April your reports were turned in two days late each month.”  Not, “So, looks like you’re really busy these days.”  The first was specific about the real issue, while the second left the listener wondering what you’re really saying.

Avoid Assumptions:  When you make an assumption like, “I know you probably don’t like discussing this issue, but…” it puts people on the defensive.  When we assume, we’re taking upon ourselves the projected thoughts of another.  Many times we’re way off base! Who really knows the mind of another?  Instead, say, ‘I would like to discuss our report schedule.  Do you have time now or later in the afternoon?”  This gets the conversation going on an even, unbiased note.

Avoid Generalities:  The minute you say, “Everyone knows you’re always late to meetings,” not only does the person become defensive, but you’ve set yourself up to be disagreed with from the beginning of the conversation.  After all, who among us is “always” or “never” anything?  Keep yourself focused on solutions by being specific and targeted in your discussion.

Focus on the Problem, not the Person:  Our tendency is to personalize issues.  When I complain about Betty being selfish and uncommitted to the team because she’s always late coming back from her breaks – I’m not only making an assumption and generalization, I’m also targeting Betty with my words, not focusing on her behavior.  When I focus on the problem – that is that other team members can’t take their breaks when Betty is late returning from her break – the focus keeps me from getting personal and/or attacking Betty.  This helps the conversation stay in productive territory.  Remember, when I target the behavior, then I can ask for that behavior to change for the better.

So, the next time you have to give feedback, I hope you remember these suggestions so that your conversation is productive, encouraging and keeping you on the path of creating positive connections and helping you be purposeful in living.

This is Day 27 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you ever have trouble staying specific and focusing on the problem, not the person?  Do you find it easy to get personal?  I’d love to hear your stories, just comment below.

The post Day 27 – How to Say It…Giving Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Yet when I think over what makes a life truly well lived, I realize it all boils down to how well we get along, engage with and yes, even love our family and friends.  Therefore, following is an acrostic with my suggestions for how to really communicate LOVE.

Laughter:  Giggle, chuckle, guffaw…laugh until you cry!  Tell funny stories from your past; remembering how Great Aunt Georgina “fell asleep” in the mashed potatoes when you were just 6-years-old, is fun for everyone (except Great Aunt Georgina of course!).  Pull out old photo albums and laugh at how dorky you looked in 7th grade. Watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles, that’s a movie guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.  Families and friends who laugh together…have fun!  Laughter is the best medicine and does your heart good.  (Trite but true.) And of course, remember that when the dog rolls in the newly planted flower bed, your daughter spills honey all over your freshly cleaned floors and you sew the costume inside out and backwards 1 hour before the party starts, these incidents will be fodder for family laughs for years to come.  Laughing together communicates love.

Other Focus:  A wise teacher told me long ago that true Joy comes when you put others before yourself.  I would encourage you to try this.  Let go of focusing on what you want and re-focus on what others need.  When I focus on me, me, me, I become discontent, disappointed and depressed.  Comparing my insides to some else’s outsides just makes it worse.  But when I let go of myself, focus  on others and how I can impact them in a positive way, my whole paradigm shifts!  Focusing on others communicates love.

(I must include a whole paragraph of warning to the ‘O’ suggestion.  Oftentimes I see mothers get so wrapped up in their kid’s and husband’s needs they ignore their own.  Please don’t do this!  What I’m suggesting is a healthy balance.  Focus not only on your family and not only on yourself…but a balance.  Make sure each day has a little of both.  In the mother’s life, it’s a tricky balance of both isn’t it?  Please remember that sometimes serving yourself is the best way to serve others.)

Vorgiveness…err…Forgiveness: Please let go of that baggage that’s holding you back.  Your anger and resentment are only hurting yourself.  In the words Frozen made famous…Let it Go!  There is a scene in the movie “The Piano” where Holly Hunter is being pulled to a watery grave by tangled ties holding her to a piano plummeting to the bottom of the ocean.  It isn’t until she decides to break free (let go) of the heavy ropes and unburden herself from the weight of the piano that she is able to kick her way up through the water to the life-giving air at the surface.  The next time you are tempted to hold on to that resentment, I urge you to let go instead and communicate love.

Expect the Best:  What you are looking for is looking for you.  We have a joke in my family that I get all the green lights and my husband gets all the red lights.  I’m sure, it’s statistically the same, but our perception of who gets what is definitely affected by our outlook.  I celebrate my (expected) greens while my husband suffers through his (expected) reds.  I wonder which you would rather experience?  When you expect fighting, animosity and negativity, that’s exactly what you will find.  Expect the best and you will communicate love.

This is Day 26 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Questions:  So how about it?  Today can you communicate L.O.V.E. by implementing some of these ideas?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Day 26 – Communicating L.O.V.E. (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Tiger Woods was once asked by a fan to demonstrate how to hit the ball out of a sand trap.  Tiger refused, saying he never practiced the wrong shot – only the right ones.  I am often asked how to get good at public speaking.  My answer is always “Practice the right shot.”  And the right shot for speakers and communicators is Toastmasters.

Let me give you some background on this amazing organization and then share with you how to connect with a local club.  Toastmasters began in California in 1924.  Today it is an international non-profit organization boasting over 313,000 members in more than 14,650 clubs located in 126 countries.  The one commonality of members is that each is committed to becoming a more effective communicator.  The Toastmaster organization supports this common goal by providing a venue for members to hone their communication and leadership skills.

My own experience with Toastmasters was so positive I became a life-long advocate.  Never have I been involved in a group as uplifting and positive towards each other.  Good communication is not just about talking, it’s about learning how to actively listen, respond and how to give good, productive feedback.  By participating in the weekly meetings, you will learn how to do all of this and more.

My favorite story is about “Larry.”  My first visit to our local club was about week 3 for him.  A part of each club meeting is a section called “Table Topics” when attendees are asked to stand up and speak impromptu for 60 seconds on a given topic.  Poor Larry was so scared and nervous and freaked out when it was his turn, he stood, hands glued tightly to the back of the chair, chin tucked firmly upon his chest and whispered, stumbling and stuttering through his speech topping out at about 45 seconds of torture.  I hurt for him!

Fast forward 12 months.  This time when Table Topics was called,  Larry stood confidently.  He looked around the room as he spoke.  He used humor.  He used voice inflection.  His impromptu speech sounded like it had been planned and fine tuned for weeks.  He not only nailed that activity, but he won the weekly award for best Table Topic!  Talk about a turn around!  That’s what Toastmasters does for you.

That’s why, if you are serious about becoming a Master Communicator you need to get yourself to local Toastmasters club, join, and start reaping the benefits of this connection.  On a side note…each club has it’s own “flavor.”  So if you don’t feel comfortable at the first club you visit, find another and go visit it.  Even the smallest of communities usually have several clubs to choose from, so you’re sure to find one that’s a fit for you.  Here’s a link to help you find a local club.

This is Day 25 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Have you ever visited a Toastmasters club? What was your experience? What other way to practice has been helpful for you? I’d love to hear your stories! Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 25 – Becoming A Master Communicator (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  Your tone, facial expressions, and body language all play a huge part in your communication (93% to be exact.)  You may say, “Yes honey, I’d love to go to your office party with you.” but your mate knows you’re not telling the truth because your rolling eyes, crossed arms and sarcastic tone scream, “Of course I don’t want to go be with all your stupid co-workers for my one precious evening home this week!”  Just be honest and match your non-verbal to your words for positive, effective communication.

Actions speak louder than words.  If your manager asks you to do a project, and you say “Sure, I’ll do it,” but somehow you never get around to actually doing it…be careful.  Your actions (not doing the work) are speaking much louder than your words.  You may think you’re just keeping the peace and avoiding conflict, but be sure your actions will be the ultimate test in the end.  Make sure your words and actions match.

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  Saying ugly, negative things about people or situations does nobody any good, it just makes those around you uncomfortable.  Make sure when you add a comment or idea that it is positive.  A nice comment that benefits others. I loved being around my mother-in-law Shirley.  She was consistently positive and in fact, at her memorial service, more than one person agreed with me that we never heard her say a negative word about anybody.  Now that’s a testimony!  I can only strive to be more like her.

Only give advice when asked.  I’ve covered this extensively on Day 11 and Day 12 when I talked about giving unsolicited advice.  If you need a refresher be sure to read those.  But I wanted to remind you in this list how important it is to keep your opinions to yourself if you want to build relationships and not walls.  I know it’s tempting to tell your 15-year-old nephew that his permed, green, mop of hair is unattractive, but believe me, unless he asks for your input, he doesn’t care what you think, and if you mention it, you will only succeed in building a barrier between the two of you.  You never know when he will want someone to help him get it cut and re-dyed a nice red or something – and if you have built a wall instead of a relationship, you’ll miss out.  No unsolicited advice!

Enjoy every moment as you build relationships remembering this handy list of ideas.  And be sure to thank your Mother for her wisdom as well.

This is Day 24 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these suggestions do you consistently follow?  Which is the hardest for you to follow? I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 24 – Mama Knows Best (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Like – Are you a likable person?  What is that intangible that makes you like someone else?  I think it’s the magic of interest in others.  When you are around someone who is genuinely interested in you, you can’t help liking them.  Their focus on you makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you’re more likely to overlook minor irritants and like them back.

When I think of the people I really like, and want to know more, they are invariably people who are actually interested in me.  And how do I know that?  They ask questions.  They listen when I answer them.  They remember things about me and what is important to me.  How are you doing?  When was the last time you became more likable by asking thoughtful, interested questions?  Why not start today?

Trust –  Are you trustworthy?  Do people know they can count on you no matter what?  Trust is hard to build and very easy to lose.  I know some people are slower to build trust than others, but the hard, cold fact is that nobody will take you seriously unless they can trust you.  They need to know you will be ethical and do what you say you will do.  Ouch.

My guess is most of us could improve in this area.  Circumstances affect our behavior and sometimes we don’t follow-through, or we allow ourselves to move in the shade of gray…hmmm.  When others trust you, they have the gold standard to count on – and you have the privilege of being heard authentically when you communicate.

Know, Like, Trust.  Three cornerstones for effective communication you can begin working on right now.  If you are serious about building positive connections and living a purposeful life, you will want to think about and start putting into practice the skills of being known, likable and trustworthy.

Another excellent resource if you are struggling with this idea, is the book Little Black Book of Connections: 6.5 Assets for Networking Your Way to Rich Relationships by Jeffrey Gotomer. I love this book! It’s fun and easy to read and most importantly, it’s full of practical, actionable things you can do immediately to build connections.  I think you’ll like it too if you’re looking for more help in this area.  Can’t wait to hear your results!

This is Day 23 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  What do the people you know, like and trust have in common?  Can you name what element about them allows and encourages you to be in relationship with them?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 23 – Know, Like and Trust Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Know – How do you get to know others and get them to know you?  The simplest answer is to be friendly.  When you’re in a new place, stick out your hand to someone you don’t know, smile and say, “Hi, I’m (fill in your name).  This simple gesture opens the door to conversation, and soon you’ll have a new connection.  My college friend, George, reminds me that the very first time he ever met me was in our Speech 101 class when we were both 19.  What he noticed was that I was “working the room”, sticking out my hand, smiling and saying, “Hi, I’m Christy,” as I met all my new “friends.”  Years later, he came to one of my day-long seminars and he just started laughing.  “Christy,” he chuckled, you’re still working the room.”  I smiled at him and said, “Yes, and still meeting lots of new friends!”

At work, everyone already knows you, but hat doesn’t mean you should stop being friendly.  I’e been in workplaces where the employees don’t even acknowledge each other.  There’s no eye contact and rarely a smile.  Needless to say, because they engage with each other solely when required, there’s minimal relationship building and what’s left is a building of strangers who work together only when absolutely required.  I contend, if they were to take some time to get to know each other, their communication and their lives would  be enriched in ways unimagined.

Oftentimes, people tell me they don’t know what to talk about.  So I’m going to recommend a favorite book that will help you with this challenge. It’s a classic and was originally published in 1936!  But like all classics, it’s as fresh today as if it were written yesterday.  It’s called How to Win Friends & Influence People and I’m sure you know it’s author, Dale Carnegie.  You may have heard that this book is full of tricky techniques to manipulate others into relationship with you.  But I found just the opposite.  Instead, it’s all about how YOU can be a true friend to others.  The magical outcome is that when you’re a friend to others, others become your friend as well.  I highly recommend this book!

Tomorrow we’ll talk about the other 2 parts of this discussion – how to build relationship so that people like and trust you.  Until then, don’t forget to be friendly!

This is Day 22 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you find it easy to be friendly, or do you have to work at this?  What tips have you tried that makes it easier to stick out your hand and smile?  I’d love to hear your stories below!

The post Day 22 – Know, Like and Trust Part 1 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember the magic words

• “Please”
• “Thank you”
• “You’re Welcome”
• When someone sneezes – offer “Bless You,” and then pass them a tissue
• When you pass someone in the hallway, say “excuse me”

These simple kindnesses will sweeten things up in no time.

Respond to voice mails and emails in a timely manner

I was listening to old voice mails earlier tho sweet and almost had a heart attack when I heard a message left 6 weeks ago – to which I had failed to respond! Arghhhh!!!  Have you noticed how easy it is to be rude in this technological world?  Let’s all be polite and respond promptly.  If you have forgotten to respond, pick up the phone and call the person immediately to rectify as best as you can.  Using Facebook, twitter, email, text messaging and cell phones properly can help you stay connected and communicating.  Be sure to use them thoughtfully.

Send notes in the mail

Thank you notes.  Congratulation notes. Thinking of You notes.  These all work really well.  My second job out of college (after leaving Capitol Hill) was as a Realtor.  (Of course, one listing and one sale in one year does not a realtor make – I waited tables to pay my bills.) But one lasting lesson I learned during that time was from my manager.  He suggested I get in the habit of looking for articles of interest to my clients – then clip them and send them on with a little note.  I did implement this idea, and have continued it to this day.

I do love it when I receive a little note – don’t you?  This week, you can be the one to brighten someone’s day with a well written note.

Lose the Profanity

When I was doing Improv Comedy, I quickly learned that getting fast and easy laughs with off-color language and innuendo was never the better choice.  It wasn’t the potty humor that lasted, instead it was the richer, more difficult comedy combinations that left the audience sated and replete from deep, tummy busting laughter.  Elevate your environment by eliminating the profanity and using better language.

So, put Mama’s words into action.  I’ll look forward to hearing about your sweetened environments.

This is Day 21 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  What’s your favorite “honey” to use?  When have you experienced the “honey” of others and how has it affected you?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 21 – Pass the Honey Please (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Consider these two requests you might hear from a coworker; “Debbie, I know you’re really, really busy and have a lot on your plate, but if it’s not too much trouble, and if you could maybe find the time, I could really use your help with this project if you think you might, maybe, be able to squeeze it into your crazy busy schedule.”  Alternatively; “Debbie, do you have 5 minutes? I would appreciate your input on this project.”  Which request would you be most inclined to answer in the affirmative?  Obviously, the second.  It’s to the point, respectful and clear.

Many times, people think they are just being “nice” when they are actually unnecessarily using padded words and phrases that irritate, annoy and reduce the impact of their comment or request.  Padded word and phrases have their appropriate uses – ask anyone married more than a year and they will agree to that – but in the workplace and as a communication rule – you will sabotage yourself if you routinely pad your words.  You will be perceived as being insecure, indecisive and interestingly enough, even as a manipulator.

So, how do you stop padding?  First, you want to edit your comments.  If the word or phrase doesn’t add value, omit it.  Secondly, make sure you’re choosing the most accurate words to convey your message.  I suggest you even consider using power words and phrases.  Consider the following lists of phrases and make note of those that seem familiar…

Words to lose:

• “If it’s not too much trouble…”
• “I know you’re really busy, but…”
• “I really hate to bother you, but…”
• “You probably don’t know the answer to this, but…”
• “I’m only the assistant, but I think…”
• “I know I’m the new person here, but…”
• “This is probably the wrong answer, but…”
• “It’s only my opinion, but…”

Words to use:  Power Phrases

• “I would like you to…”
• “Please finish this by…”
• “It would help me if you would…”
• “I suggest we…”
• “My experience has shown…”
• “Past practice indicates…”
• “The research points towards…”

And I’m sure you can add many more.  Now that you’re aware of the negative impact of padded words and phrases, I challenge you to be proactive in adding power phrases to your vocabulary.  You’ll be happy to watch your communication quotient soar.

This is Day 20 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which padded words do you find yourself using?  What can you use that will be more effective?  I’d love to hear your answers – just comment below.

The post Day 20 – Power Phrases (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This is Day 19 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

The post Day 19 – Shine (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I gave you an example of a dialogue with Tara yesterday.  Today I’m going to give you a fresh dialogue along with some guidelines to follow when having that difficult conversation.

1.  Be honest with yourself.  When someone is difficult, check in with yourself and ask, what is the real issue here?  For example, if Mary made a sarcastic comment in front of your team about the way you’re handling this month’s project, your first reaction might be anger.  But when you check in and are really honest, you’ll recognize that it was embarrassment and awkwardness you were experiencing in the moment.  Additionally, when you were “put down” in front of your team, you could be worried it could potentially minimize your authority as well.

2.  Be willing to be authentically transparent.  Tell Mary the way her behavior affected you.  You don’t have to go into a huge long explanation here – and be careful NOT to insert judgements or generalities here.  Don’t say – “Mary, you were a real jerk when you made that nasty comment about my work in front of my team this morning.”  That’s NOT what we’re looking for!  Instead, say “Mary, when you criticized my work in front of my team this morning I was really uncomfortable.”

3.  Tell her what you want her to do.  Sometimes I’ll hear people tell the difficult person they didn’t appreciate the difficult behavior and then stop the conversation.  Frankly, that does no good at all because most difficult people don’t even get that their behavior is a problem!  You must be specific and tell them what you want them to do.  “Mary, in the future, when you have feedback on my work, I would appreciate it if you would tell me privately.”  Short, specific and without judgements should do the trick.

This conversation may seem hard to do. But rest assured if you do not confront the difficult behavior it will continue.  Remember, that which is rewarded is repeated.  When you ignore their behavior it’s a way of rewarding their behavior.  Be sure to draw your own firm assertive lines so you don’t let the difficult people get the best of you.

I hope this mini-series on difficult people has been helpful.  I’ve enjoyed reminding myself of what works when I get confronted with behavior that’s upsetting to me.  I hope you will incorporate these ideas along with me, and let’s see our relationships blossom!

This is Day 18 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these suggestions have been most helpful to you?  Which can you implement? I’d love to hear your feedback.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Day 18 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 3 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

In answer to my opening question, “Why are you here today?” an older man in the back row raised his hand.  As I called on “Bud”, I took a quick inventory.  I noticed the deeply etched lines of discontent framing his down-turned mouth.  His oversized hands were rough and callused and the wrinkles in his khaki work shirt mirrored those scored across his timeworn face.  As he stood, he placed his hands on his hips, thrust out his chest and loudly proclaimed, “Well, I’m the difficult person, and I’m here today to find out what you’re teaching, so when the people I work with try it on me, it won’t work!”  Hmmm….at least he was honest!

Does “Bud” sound familiar to you?  Difficult People.  Over the next few days I’m going to give you some suggestions for dealing effectively with them.  I’m going to help you bring out the best in  yourself first, then them, and even help you diffuse difficult interactions no matter who’s at fault.  Let’s get started with a few questions.

When you encounter a difficult situation with a difficult person, ask:

1.  Will this matter 5 years from now?  How often have you reacted to something in the moment only to realize later that it really didn’t matter in the big scheme of things?  Yet your reaction left disrupted relationships and hurt feelings.  Before you react, stop.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself this perspective reminding question.

2.  Who is getting the power here?  Sometimes, believe it or not, these difficult people just want to throw the behavior, words, attitude out there to see how we react.  (Interestingly, it’s the same thing my 10 year old does when she wants to see me jump!)  When I take the bait, I’m giving them what they want.  How about recognizing my reaction really gives them the power. Instead, let’s stop, and…

3.  How Can I Respond with the unexpected?  When I was verbally accosted at the gas pump last week by the oversized 40-year-old-surfer-dude on his way to the lake, I just laughed.  Based on his aggressive words, I’m sure he was looking for an argument.  But the whole situation was so ridiculous, laughter was my only possible response.  It stopped his aggression and I was left feeling slightly bemused rather than depleted by the incident.

Interestingly, these questions and behaviors are much easier to do with people you don’t know.  I think that’s because we’re so much more invested and connected with those in our close circle.  It’s that double whammy – we do what we don’t want to with those closest to our hearts!

So try these ideas out on your family and co-workers and see what happens.  I’ll love to hear your feedback.  Check back tomorrow for another set of strategies for dealing with difficult people.

P.S. Happy Birthday Dad!  75 Years Young.  And through the years when I’ve sometimes been the difficult person, you keep on being the most awesome Dad.  I love you!

This is Day 16 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these are you interested in trying?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 16 – Difficult People – Strategies & Solutions (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

1. Will this matter 5 years from now?
2. Who is getting the power here?
3. How can I respond with the unexpected?

By asking these questions, you will remind yourself to respond, not react when engaging with the difficult person.  Now, let’s take a look at our actual conversations.

Have you noticed that sometimes a person becomes difficult in reacting to something you innocently said to them?  Well, following are a few key ideas you can employ to make sure your communication is assertive without inducing defensiveness and anger.

1.  Focus on the problem, not the person.  For example, you co-worker Tara is consistently tardy to work 3 of 5 mornings a week.  Her absence creates problems for you because when she’s not there, you have to handle her work load as well as your own.  Your tendency may be to focus on how irresponsible and lazy and self-absorbed you think Tara is by her chronic tardiness.  Instead, refocus and target the real problem here – don’t make a judgement about her – just focus on her behavior and how it is affecting you.  That way, when you talk with her about her behavior, you won’t be accusatory, you’ll just be able to focus on the facts of her behavior.

2.  Avoid absolutes and generalities.  Always, never, everyone, nobody, nothing, ever.  Do those words sound familiar to you?  Many of us are quick to assign an absolute and/or generality to a problem – like “Tara is always late.” or how about “Everyone knows you don’t really care about your job.”  These statements are most likely incorrect since few of us are always or never anything!  They are also general – and will not help solve the situation.  Stay specifically focused on the problem rather than create a defense response by throwing out glittering generalities and aggressive absolutes.

3.  Get specific.  Target the exact behavior that is bothering you.  For example, instead of saying to Tara, “You’re always late!”, begin your discussion by saying “Yesterday, when you were 10 minutes late to work…”  By getting specific about what you are talking about, and letting them know precisely what you are having trouble with, then you keep the discussion on track and targeted.  The more specific the better.

4.  Clearly state the specifics and then tell them what you would like to see them change.  For example, your conversation with Tara might begin like this; “Tara, when you were 10 minutes late to work 3 times last week I feel really frustrated. I have have to cover my work as well as your own.  I would appreciate it if you could be on time for work, or make arrangements for someone else to cover your duties until you arrive.”  Notice how specific that was?  It had complete facts as well as what I wanted her to do differently.

There’s so much we can talk about when it comes to clear, assertive communication to use especially when dealing with difficult people.  I’m out of room for today, but tomorrow I’m going to give you a few more ideas.  I’m so glad we’re only 1/2 way through the month!  There’s so much more good stuff left to discuss!

This is Day 17 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you have trouble staying specific?  What do you do to keep from using generalities and assumptions?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 17 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

2.  The Priority No.  This is the one you use with your boss.  When she comes running to you and asks you to drop what you’re doing and get to work immediately on this newer, higher priority project, here’s what you do.  Calmly pull out your list of priorities (discussed with and approved by your boss at the beginning of the current week), and ask her which of these other, prioritized items, she would like you to take off the list so that you can add her new priority project.

This little ploy will remind your boss that you are working off a priority list, and will either cause her to a) go find someone else to do the job – someone who is not working off a priority list, or b) re-think and re-assign the planned-on projects.  Either way, you in a good spot because you’re sticking to the projects as planned, and you won’t get penalized later for not finishing your priority list.

The one thing the Priority No requires is…yes, you guessed it…Priorities!  Even if you work in an environment where priorities are not discussed – or things are unorganized and randomly worked on, you personally, need priorities.  Take this opportunity to review what you are doing and make sure you are on track to reach your goals.  In order to reach your goals, my guess is that you’ll need to set priorities.  I love this method of saying no because it always pulls me back to what’s really important.  Now, I just have to remember to use it!

3.  The Full Plate No.  This is the one you use with your friends and co-workers when they want to rope you into another “good cause” for which you really don’t have time.  For example, for the past 5 years you have enjoyed organizing the office holiday party. This year, however, you have begun taking night classes and you are too overloaded to organize the party.  So, when they ask you about organizing the party again this year, you simply say, “Thank you for asking, however, my plate is really full right now, I’m going to have to pass on organizing the party this year.”

Notice how simple this is!  No long list of reasons or excuses, just a simple “no thank you.”  It’s a clean and simple get-away, and leaves everyone feeling positive.  This Full Plate No leaves you feeling empowered as you draw clear boundaries, and leaves the other person impressed you were able to clearly express your desires.

If saying No is a difficult area for you, I want to recommend a fabulous book by Lysa TerKeurst called The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands. This is a terrific, practical, best seller by one of my favorite women.  Lysa dives deeply into this topic and give you practical strategies you can put in place to make sure you are living out The Best Yes!

This is Day 15 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these techniques to help you say No.  I’d love to hear your experience.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 15 – 3 Ways to Say NO, Nicely. Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here’s where it gets a bit tricky.  Ask yourself this.  What if trimming the bushes was one of the biggest thrills in your husband’s life?  Do you still have the right?

And what if each time he trimmed the bushes, they died.  Yes, that’s right. Dead. Brown. Kaput. As in, you have to pull them out and start over.  Do you still have the right?  Yes! (By the way, if it gets this bad, you must transition from mere unsolicited advice to a full blown strategy of assertive dialogue – but that’s another column.)

So, even, and especially when you have the right, before you open your mouth, ask yourself, “Is it in the best interest of the relationship for me to give this unsolicited advice?”  If not, then keep quiet.

I can’t emphasize this technique enough.  If they don’t ask, don’t tell.  Shhhh.  Bite your tongue. Hum a tune.  Try anything you can to stay silent and keep from transmitting the disease!

I admit this is a “hot button” topic for me.  In fact, let me be authentic with you and make a confession…I’m in recovery.  That’s right, I’m a recovering unsolicited advice giver.  I grew up in a family where we felt compelled with a moral obligation to pass on our wisdom to anyone we saw doing something differently (i.e., not our way) than we thought it should be done.  This propensity to participate in the plague has caused me untold misery and compounded problems – all because I never realized the destruction I was sowing.  You’ll be relieved to know I am in recovery, the cure is working, and I”m well on my way to a total healing.

But back to you.  What stage are you in?  Denial? Are you carrying the plague with you – bringing irritation and alienation to everyone you come in contact with?  Or are you willing to start and work the steps of recovery by resolving to practice the cure?

Remember, before you speak up, ask yourself these 2 questions:

1.  What gives me the right?

and then,

2.  Even if I have the right, is it in the best interest of the relationship?

There’s no easy answer here, and if you struggle with this I suggest you give these steps a try.  I know from experience, it’s so much more rewarding and positive for a relationship when you can stay quiet, build relationship and interestingly enough, often the person you most want to help will end up coming to you and asking for advice.  And then you can give it to your heart’s content.  Voila!

This is Day 12 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you give unsolicited advice?  Have you tried these solutions?  I’d love to hear your feedback – just leave a comment below.

The post Day 12 – A Widespread Plague Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Did you know that in the world of communication and relationships there is also a plague?  It is a plague that goes largely unnamed and unchecked – a plague that affects virtually every one of us.  Despite it’s alarming range, there are not many of us yet immune to it and its devastating effects.  Most of us have even been guilty, at some point, of not only being a carrier of this disease – but of actively passing it on to someone else!  What is it you ask?  The problem is the plague of giving unsolicited advice.

Are you a carrier?  Have you been infected?  Or have you been inoculated just enough to make you immune to it from others, but still wickedly powerful in your ability to spread its devastation?  Not sure?  Then read on…

Definition:  Unsolicited Advice is when you offer your opinions, suggestions or ideas to someone about something they are doing or planning, before they ask for your input.  I know most of us have excellent motives when we offer up these little truffles and tidbits of testimony.  But if you are brutally honest with yourself, you’ll recognize how frequently your unrequested suggestions are rebuffed or brushed away, not to mention met with defensiveness and ultimately rejection.  So, what’s the cure?

Ask:  What gives me the right?  This cure was found in the extremely helpful book by Doris Wild Helmering, Being Ok Just Isn’t Enough: The Power of Self-Discovery .  Ms. Helmering suggests that this is the first question you should ask before you open your mouth.

Ask yourself…What give me the right to tell my friend where to park as we’re circling the mall looking for a parking spot?  What gives me the right to tell my co-worker how to “more effectively” do the project he’s working on? Or how about this…What gives me the right to tell my husband how to trim the bushes?

Ooooh!  Got your attention on that last one didn’t I?  You probably responded – “But I have the right because it’s my yard too!”  And you would be correct.  You do have the right.  In my part 2 of this post, I’ll elaborate on how to process this – when you do have the right to give unsolicited advice.  The question becomes…should you?  I propose that when you don’t have the right, that is, it’s none of your business, you keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself.  But when you do have the right.  I also propose you ask yourself a few questions before you open your mouth and spout your opinion or suggestion.  Check out the next post for what those questions are…

This is Day 11 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you give unsolicited advice?

The post Day 11 – A Widespread Plague (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key #2 ~ Follow:  Follow first with silence and then with open ended questions.  Think back to your favorite listener.  Let me ask you, does the person who came to mind give you lots and lots of space around your sentences?  Do they let you have a pause at the end of your thoughts?  I’ll bet they do.  That’s called following with silence.  That’s probably the main reason you think of them as a great listener too.

You can do this too.  During a conversation consciously be quiet and allow a space (I try for 3 seconds) to follow after the person you listening to says something.  A funny thing will happen when you do this.  Either they realize they have more to say – and say it, or they’re finished with their thought and they’re waiting for your followup.  Being an active listener – then they don’t speak after 3 seconds, you follow up with an open-ended question.  That is, a question that cannot be answered with a yes or no answer.  This will keep the conversation moving forward and they will feel heard.

Key #3 ~ Feedback: This is the final step you can do when you are an active listener.  You can give feedback by reflecting with your body and reflecting with your words.  Think of the concept of mirroring the person speaking.  They tilt their head, you tilt your head.  They lean right, you lean left.  Basically, you’re matching their movements.

Did you know that people like people who are “like themselves?”  Think of your best friends.  Aren’t they similar to you in many ways?  The same thing holds true with listening.  People like to engage in conversation with people who are “like them.”  Now, don’t be a dork!  This isn’t the game my 2nd grader played tonight at the dinner table where he mimicked my every word and behavior!  Just do it gently with your body and then with your words.  When they comment, “We’re going to Hawaii for our vacation.”  You can reply, “Oh, so you’re going to Hawaii, how exciting!”  This confirms for them that you are listening and interested.  You show you are interested by giving them this verbal reflection.

Focus, Follow and Feedback. Three simple steps to energize yourself towards Active Listening.  Try it and see what happens.  I guarantee, when you commit to this behavior, you’ll see deepened relationships and more productive communication.

This is Day 10 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these 3 types of active listening behaviors are your favorite to use?  To be the recipient of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below.

The post Day 10 – Active Listening: Following and Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Our conversation got off to a good start with a discussion of current events.  The talk moved to the problem of the Sandinistas in Nicaragua and in those days before the Iran Contra affair became known to all, it was natural to ask the Congressman what ideas he had for dealing with them.  When he gave his answer, I immediately piped up with, “But why do you think that would work when we’ve tried it before and it failed?”  He immediately leaned way back in his chair, crossed his arms behind his reclining head, swung his crossed legs up onto the top of his desk and fired back, “What do you think we should do?”  Clearly, he was not interested in my answer, nor was he receptive to anything I might have to say.  Considering I was just 20 and more than a little intimidated by this show of “manliness” I quickly responded, “I don’t know, you’re the Congressman.”

Needless to say, that was the end of that discussion and we moved on to other topics and the meeting was over not long after.  What happened there was a beautiful display of how NOT to listen.  Congressman Kemp’s dramatic body language put form to his feelings.  He had no interest in meeting with us or hearing what we had to say.  So since he couldn’t say that to his scheduler, he dramatically let us know we needed to get moving.

So, how do you avoid the same mistake in Listening?  I believe there are 3 key things you can do to be an active listener.  Focus, Follow and Feedback.  Today we’re going to look at how to focus.

Key #1:  Focus ~~ Focus with your body first and then your mind.  This is how you do it:  Uncross your arms and legs.  If you are sitting, lean slightly forward, about 7 degrees forward. When your body is open and you’re tilted slightly forward towards the speaker, it conveys you are interested in what the other person has to say.  This posture also helps you focus your mind on the immediate conversation. Your mind will be less likely to wander to your grocery list, or who is picking up the kids from school, or what you are going to do with that problem employee.  Instead, you’ll be laser focused on the conversation.  Note:  do not do this forward lean if you are standing — people will move away from you because you’ll be invading their space.

Oftentimes people are resistant to truly focusing during a conversation and will instead, take the opportunity to multitask.  What’s so interesting is that just this past week, research has emerged that Multitasking actually Damages Your Brain!  Yes! Can you believe it?  You can read more about it here.  When I saw this article, I recommitted to focusing more intently, especially during conversations.  Check back on tomorrow for part 2 on active listening.

This is Day 9 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

How about you?  Do you focus when you are listening or are you a multitasker?  I’d love to read your comments below!

The post Day 9 – Active Listening: Focus (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

And do you know, his behavior problems “magically” disappeared, and she ended up having a great year…with the whole class.  You see, she had the same conversation with each student, and they all rose to her vision and expectations for them.  In the business world, we call this using Praise, Rewards and Recognition to develop your people.  At home, I call it helping myself stay sane.  Do you realize people respond to your expectations?  In study after study, scientists have observed the power of positive expectations. So whether you need this technique at home or work or both, let’s take a look at how you can bring out the best with positive expectations.

Praise:  Look for positives and respond.  Once, while I was doing a training in Arkansas, a supervisor from the Little Debbie factory raised her hand and said, “My workers are working hard at a difficult and repetitive job on an assembly line.  I always like to catch ’em doing something right!”  You can bet she had motivated and empowered workers.

In order to come across as authentic with your praise, makes sure it is both sincere and specific.  People believe you are sincere with your praise when you are specific.  For example, if you tell your employee, “I really appreciate you.  I know you’ve put in a lot of extra time on this project and I appreciate it.  Thank you for your hard work and your attention to detail.”  Your employee will be energized and motivated to do even more.  And I must add, with certain employees, a letter spelling out this praise will be most highly valued of all.

We know people work harder for praises than raises.  Most importantly though, they will know you sincerely appreciate them…you told them so with Praise.

Recognition and Rewards:  Create an environment for people to look good!  When you walk in the door of the Arbonne International headquarters, almost the first thing you see is a huge wall filled with pictures of top achievers in the company.  These achievers are recognized for their accomplishments.

Focus positive attention on the quality of work and keep it there.  My 5th grade daughter is intensely focused on getting all her homework finished on time, and finished perfectly so she can participate in her teachers’ “Friday Rewards”.  And the even bigger goal is the “Perfect week, Perfect month” reward.  And on top of that, each test holds the potential of receiving a “Big Cookie” for a 98% or higher on the test.  Her teacher has tapped into the power of recognition and rewards for her 4th and 5th graders.

There are all kinds of way you can incorporate Praise, Recognition and Rewards into your communication life.  If you’re short on ideas, I recommend a book called The Carrot Principle: How the Best Managers Use Recognition to Engage Their People, Retain Talent, and Accelerate Performance by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton. It’s loaded with great ideas you can implement immediately both at work and home.

This is a perfect time to re-commit to the power of positive.  Love the people in your life this way.  They will thank you and both morale and satisfaction will soar.  And a brand new resource to help you stay positive is Crystal Paine’s (Money Saving Mom) Choose Gratitude: Blessings Journal. There’s nothing like focusing on the good to help you stay positive.

This is Day 8 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you find it easy to focus on the positive this way?  What are some good ways you have given praise, recognition and rewards?

The post Day 8 – The Power of Positive (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This is a throwback for sure (remember when Andre Agassi had hair!)…but is it still true?  We could debate this idea for eons, but when all is said and done, the bottom line is that our image plays a powerful roll in how we interact with others.  My guess is that most of you reading this would really like to create a positive and professional image whether you are CEO of a large corporation or CEO of your home.

With that in mind, if you want to be perceived as a powerful communicator, here are 3 key suggestions:

1.  Be clear.  Ambiguity may have it’s place in poetry or novels, but for interpersonal communication ambiguity leads to mis-understandings.  If you want something accomplished, say it in terms that are clear and definite.  Don’t beat around the bush.

Unclear:   “I could sure use some help around here.”

Clear:  “Please clear the table, put the dishes in the dishwasher and take out the trash.”

Ask:  How can I make my conversation clearer?

2.  Be concise.  There’s nothing worse that someone who rambles on and on and on and on and… well, you get the picture.  Sometimes we ramble because we are nervous about getting an answer we don’t want.  Just spit it out.

Rambling:  “If it’s possible, and you’re not too busy, and I know you really have a lot to do, but I could really use your help, if you could just take a sec and look at this project and see if I’m on the right track, because it’s the first time I’ve done anything like this, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Concise:  “Do you have 5 minutes?  There’s a project I’d like to get your input on.”

Ask:  How can I be more concise?

3.  Be committed.  Don’t hedge.  A hedge, according to Phyllis Mindell, a recognized expert on women and language, is when you “hide behind words, refuse to commit oneself.”  Women tend to do this more than men. These words don’t add meaning, they just add to the sentence – in an effort to soften the sentence.  When you commit to clear, concise communication, you will be able to omit these.

Hedging:  “Well, I would really like us to start the meeting at 8:00am, if it’s not too inconvenient for everyone.”

Committed: “The meeting starts at 8:00am, and I expect everyone to attend.

Ask:  What words can I omit and still retain the meaning?

It’s not easy to speak with clarity and intention.  I want to encourage you to put these 3 ideas into practice and see if you get better results.  I know you will enjoy creating a positive, professional communication image.

This is Day 4 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question: What do you think about this?  Do you believe it will work? Have you tried any of these before and if so, what were your results?  I’d love your feedback! You can comment below.

The post Day 4 – Your Communication Image (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• There is power in community
• Enthusiasm is contagious
• The beauty of an early morning ritual
• Keeping sane with sleep, exercise, friendship and the Word

Part 2: How to be Extravagantly Generous

1. Start with what you have – talents, time, ideas, stuff
2. Look for ways to help – hint, you don’t have to start it.   Amy’s website has some great suggestions
3. Pick a week to eat from the pantry/freezer, and with your kids, pick out a way to be generous with the grocery money
4. Discuss what being it would look like for your family to be extravagantly generous – then pick something to DO to live it out
5. Don’t wait