Words, words, magical words. It’s amazing how the way we say thing can impact our desired outcomes. As we noticed over the past few days, what you say and the way you say it has a huge impact on your relationships.
Consider these two requests you might hear from a coworker; “Debbie, I know you’re really, really busy and have a lot on your plate, but if it’s not too much trouble, and if you could maybe find the time, I could really use your help with this project if you think you might, maybe, be able to squeeze it into your crazy busy schedule.” Alternatively; “Debbie, do you have 5 minutes? I would appreciate your input on this project.” Which request would you be most inclined to answer in the affirmative? Obviously, the second. It’s to the point, respectful and clear.
Many times, people think they are just being “nice” when they are actually unnecessarily using padded words and phrases that irritate, annoy and reduce the impact of their comment or request. Padded word and phrases have their appropriate uses – ask anyone married more than a year and they will agree to that – but in the workplace and as a communication rule – you will sabotage yourself if you routinely pad your words. You will be perceived as being insecure, indecisive and interestingly enough, even as a manipulator.
So, how do you stop padding? First, you want to edit your comments. If the word or phrase doesn’t add value, omit it. Secondly, make sure you’re choosing the most accurate words to convey your message. I suggest you even consider using power words and phrases. Consider the following lists of phrases and make note of those that seem familiar…
Words to lose:
- “If it’s not too much trouble…”
- “I know you’re really busy, but…”
- “I really hate to bother you, but…”
- “You probably don’t know the answer to this, but…”
- “I’m only the assistant, but I think…”
- “I know I’m the new person here, but…”
- “This is probably the wrong answer, but…”
- “It’s only my opinion, but…”
Words to use: Power Phrases
- “I would like you to…”
- “Please finish this by…”
- “It would help me if you would…”
- “I suggest we…”
- “My experience has shown…”
- “Past practice indicates…”
- “The research points towards…”
And I’m sure you can add many more. Now that you’re aware of the negative impact of padded words and phrases, I challenge you to be proactive in adding power phrases to your vocabulary. You’ll be happy to watch your communication quotient soar.
This is Day 20 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.
Question: Which padded words do you find yourself using? What can you use that will be more effective? I’d love to hear your answers – just comment below.
Wow – this is a great reminder to use power phrases. The examples are spot on. Many times I imagine a false situation before I ask for someone’s time or ask a question, rather than using power phrases to be straight forward with a question. I find people, especially busy ones, prefer the straightforward approach. I am enjoying your podcasts. Keep them coming!