We are moving quickly through the month, and I’ve given you a ton of advice on how to have Powerful Communication Skills. In light of the overwhelming amount of material, and with just a week left to go, I thought I would simplify my advice into a list of basics everyone should know. In fact, these ideas are so simple, you may be able to say, as I do, “My mother really does know best!” See what you think…
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Your tone, facial expressions, and body language all play a huge part in your communication (93% to be exact.) You may say, “Yes honey, I’d love to go to your office party with you.” but your mate knows you’re not telling the truth because your rolling eyes, crossed arms and sarcastic tone scream, “Of course I don’t want to go be with all your stupid co-workers for my one precious evening home this week!” Just be honest and match your non-verbal to your words for positive, effective communication.
Actions speak louder than words. If your manager asks you to do a project, and you say “Sure, I’ll do it,” but somehow you never get around to actually doing it…be careful. Your actions (not doing the work) are speaking much louder than your words. You may think you’re just keeping the peace and avoiding conflict, but be sure your actions will be the ultimate test in the end. Make sure your words and actions match.
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Saying ugly, negative things about people or situations does nobody any good, it just makes those around you uncomfortable. Make sure when you add a comment or idea that it is positive. A nice comment that benefits others. I loved being around my mother-in-law Shirley. She was consistently positive and in fact, at her memorial service, more than one person agreed with me that we never heard her say a negative word about anybody. Now that’s a testimony! I can only strive to be more like her.
Only give advice when asked. I’ve covered this extensively on Day 11 and Day 12 when I talked about giving unsolicited advice. If you need a refresher be sure to read those. But I wanted to remind you in this list how important it is to keep your opinions to yourself if you want to build relationships and not walls. I know it’s tempting to tell your 15-year-old nephew that his permed, green, mop of hair is unattractive, but believe me, unless he asks for your input, he doesn’t care what you think, and if you mention it, you will only succeed in building a barrier between the two of you. You never know when he will want someone to help him get it cut and re-dyed a nice red or something – and if you have built a wall instead of a relationship, you’ll miss out. No unsolicited advice!
Enjoy every moment as you build relationships remembering this handy list of ideas. And be sure to thank your Mother for her wisdom as well.
This is Day 24 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.
Question: Which of these suggestions do you consistently follow? Which is the hardest for you to follow? I’d love to hear your stories. Please leave your comments below.
Awesome post! I need to go back and read the rest of your series. 🙂 Communication is something that’s very important to me – being understood correctly, and understanding others (I despise phone calls and emails…) so I try to stick with all the advice my mother gave me (that you so accurately listed here) — I do fall prey to sarcasm at times, though, so I have to admit to sometimes failing at point #1.