Gratitude. The foundation for a Positive Life, and the foundation of our Positivity Principles. Gratitude. Easy to think about, but sometimes difficult to live.

In this podcast, Christy gives 3 simple ways to incorporate more gratitude into your life.

Key Idea:

• Gratitude is simple, but takes practice to become a habit.

Resources:

• Christy’s Website

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text “31Positive” to 44222

Book:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 5 Minute Motivation – Gratitude appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

You get to create the environment you want to create. Positivity can be learned with work and effort.

Resources: 

• Christy’s website

Books:

• 31 Positive Communication Skills for Women, Christy Largent

Mindset:

• The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text 31Positive to 44222

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 048 Welcome Back Podcast appeared first on Christy Largent.

January is almost over, and I didn’t quite finish what I started.

But, here’s the good thing. It’s turning out even BETTER than I had planned!

Starting with the clearing out  — I decluttered extensively and filled my car twice with trips to the Goodwill. Win! The storage closet in which I was planning to store the out of season leftovers, fell down into the clothes closet below. I know. Don’t ask.

But, the positive result will be even better storage once my husband completes the repair project. So let’s call that a not quite checked off the list but well on it’s way to completion success!

If you want to declutter too, may I suggest my friend Kathi Lipp’s easy to read and even easier to put into practice book, Clutter Free. You’ll love it and it will help you declutter your life!

Regarding the second part of my goals…here’s where it gets interesting…

As I was working on the content to be added to my website, I knew I needed video of me speaking, testimonials, information about my programs and an updated about me page. I wanted it to look like a speaker’s site, not a blogger/podcasters site.

I found some super smart people to help me with the technical aspects of this, and I began researching sites of some of my favorite National Speakers Association speakers to see what ideas I could steal borrow and change to make my own.

There are some awesome people out there to emulate! People like Neen James and Connie Podesta and Laura Stack and Tami Evans. And lots more incredible women who are really dominating in the public speaking space.

In the course of my research, I was drilling down to make sure my message was crystal clear on every level. I reached out to Neen James, who is known for her dynamic and fun delivery combined with her stellar content. I had seen her speak this past July at the NSA Convention, and was very intrigued with how she had packaged and delivered her message.

She was so helpful! She basically told me what I had come up with was no good and not unique at all. Boring. Her magic words were, Christy, I looked at your site, and I can’t book you from what you are telling me there. I don’t know what you offer.

Yikes! Just what I needed to hear. (Actually, I thought my site was shaping up nicely! So how awesome to get that kind of honest and relevant feedback!)

So in the past 2 weeks, I’ve gotten to work drilling down to the essence of Christy. Neen asked me, What have you put your 10,000 hours into Christy? What lessons have you learned over and over and over in your life that you can share with your audience? 

I’m still working on teasing it all out, but I am so close! And I’m so excited! Because instead of just being a “High Energy Motivational Speaker who teaches you how to get along and connect” I’m going to be framing it in a personal and more meaningful way that will be much more interesting and unique.

Which means YOU will be getting better content because I’ll be filtering it in a more effective way.

Here’s what I’ve learned from this whole experience. Maybe they will help you too!

1. Even if you don’t know exactly where it’s going to end up, get started getting busy on what you want to do.  The de-cluttering project revealed the storage problem. Had I waited, there would still be piles everywhere and the closet would still be a problem! If I hadn’t begun the research, I would never have seen the huge gaping holes in my website/speaking project.
2. Reach out for help. I knew I couldn’t deal with all the technical changes I’ll be needing in the course of changing my website. I found experts in those areas to help me. That even relates to me reaching out to Neen. (I didn’t know her personally before.)
3. Be willing to look at the same things differently. You know I’ve been speaking on the topics of communication skills, customer service, and personality styles for almost 20 years. This month, I’ve looked at my body of work in a whole new way, and I’m coming out the other end the better for it.

What about you? How did your January go? Are you still on track to make this your Best Year Ever? I hope so.  Let me know in the comments below, or comment on FB.

The post It was Guilt Free and Painless appeared first on Christy Largent.

Nothing spirals downward faster than a negative environment. I knew I needed to fix this situation, and fast!

Here are the 3 things I did. Maybe they will work for you the next time you hit a rough patch.

1. Take a deep breath and assess the situation. What can I change? What is non-negotiable? I stepped back and saw the main things I needed were to get myself dressed, the kids fed and the dog put in the backyard. I also saw that the dark house filled with the noises of anxiety were not helping.
2. Do what you can do and delegate the rest.  I put on some fun music and turned on all the lights. Our surroundings can affect our behavior more than you know. The lights and music helped lighten the tone. I delegated the dog and her “issues” to my daughter and hustled back to get dressed and throw my makeup in a bag – I could finish in the car before my meeting. I had my son pull out the eggs and cheese so I could whip up their breakfast after I got dressed.
3. Focus on the good and enjoy the journey. I did a quick mind re-set while I was getting dressed. I reminded myself that for so many years I had longed for children with a desperate longing…in other words…I asked for this!  I said a prayer of thanks for my kids. I smiled. Yup. A physical smile made me giggle. And when I came back into the kitchen, I sang along to the music while I made the eggs. I forced myself to change my attitude. I know a happy heart attitude is contagious.

[Tweet “A happy heart attitude is contagious.”]

I’d love to tell you my kids started dancing and singing with me and happily gobbled up their breakfasts with words of gratitude on their lips.  That’s not actually what happened.

They were still a bit grumpy. But my attitude was better, so there was less tension and I enjoyed the rest of our time together before school much more. Plus I told myself, often it’s what is caught, more than what is taught that sinks in.

[Tweet “It’s what is caught, more than what is taught that sinks in.”]

So when they think of their Mama today (if they think of me at all!) it will be with the happy smile and kiss that I left them with rather than the surly frustrated face of the earlier morning.

And I’ll call that a win.

How about you? What do you do to shift the momentum when things start deteriorating around you? I’d love you to share! Just leave a comment below.

Love ya!

Christy

The post 3 Steps to Create a Positive Environment appeared first on Christy Largent.

Several weeks ago I created my first ever community survey. I wanted to know more about you so that I can make sure what I’m creating is meeting your most important needs.

You responded and I got some surprising results.  Here they are – along with why the information matters and what I’m going to do differently.

Results

• You are a dominantly female audience (97%),  and in your middle years, 45-64 years old (72%).  I knew this intuitively, but it was fun to see the numbers. (You look like me!)

• You value education and have either a Bachelor or Graduate degree (66%) or at least some college 25%. Clearly, you are a lifelong learner.
• Your total household income is more than $75,000 (65%), and  you can be found in a huge variety of job positions, so much so, there’s no 1 thing that jumps out. I love that you bring an incredibly diverse scope of background and skills.

• Social Media Use was my biggest surprise.
  • Facebook was #1 (93% ranked it #1)
  • YouTube (79% ranked #2 or #3) virtually tied with
  • Pinterest (75% ranked #2 or #3).

• You don’t listen to my podcast. (72%) (Many of you said you wanted to listen, but were too busy to fit them in.)
• You want to learn from me…
  •  #1 Communication Skills and
  • #2 Self Development strategies.

• Your Biggest Challenges…
  • Finding time to do what needs to get done (61%) and
  • Desire to improve professional growth (45%), then
  • Life/Work balance (35%).

Your dreams…travel, being fit, creating a business and spending time with your family all rose to the top. We women really do want to do it all!

My top 5 Action Items based on the survey…

1. January 5th I’ll be offering a free webinar to help you dig deep to Discover your Calling and Develop your Plan for the new year.  More info. on that will be coming shortly. (It will have a wonderful name I’m sure, I just haven’t come up with it yet…title ideas welcomed.)

2.  I’ll continue finding excellent outside resources to recommend. The first is available now, 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever, by Michael Hyatt, and then in January there’s a free Peak Performance Summit you can register for here now. More on both of these as we go.

3. I’ll be creating YouTube tutorials focused on communication skills and strategies to help you communicate most effectively (get what you want!)

4. My podcast is going to reformatted into a short 5-10 minute production that you can fit into your busy schedules.

5. Finally, I’m going to send the survey at a different time of year. (Feb or March will be good.)  Late fall is such a busy time of year, I know many of you wanted to take the survey, but just couldn’t squeeze it in. So, next time I’ll find a less “intense” time of year to send so I can get even more feedback.

Thank you so much! I just love connecting with you and I’m excited about the year to come. What are you excited about this for this coming year? I’d love to hear what’s top of your mind! You can comment here or better yet…(see, I’m learning…) “like,” then post on my Facebook Page here.   Love ya!

Christy

The post Community Survey 2015 Results appeared first on Christy Largent.

And that conversation led me to think about the expectations I put on myself.  There’s no life “monitor” waiting to give me a “grade” at the end of my life. Right? Yet I frequently act, that is, think as though I must go through life working for an A+.

And then, when I don’t get the Christmas Cards sent, (Seriously people, this is a challenge for me! Those receiving cards from us this year will be blessed by the arrival of 2014 and 2015’s cards together!), or I don’t hit my target work numbers, or I don’t lose as much weight as I had hoped…well, I just feel like a failure.

This year was a good one for my goals. I found an excellent eating program that I loved and I shed the

40lbs that had been hanging on for about 8 years. I finally finished and published my book.  I managed to step back and take a few months with my kids traveling coast to coast this summer. By any yard stick, I think that’s a pretty good year.

But then I realize that I’ve gained some of that weight back. And I didn’t speak as many times as I had hoped. And the book was only self-published – does that even count? Oh, and the kids fought with each other for most of that enormous road trip.

You get where I’m going?  Do you do this too?  It’s so frustrating! Because I think when we do this horrible downplaying, minimizing what we’ve done and who we are as somehow “not quite enough,”  we rob ourselves of the joy of the “enough.”

So ENOUGH!

This year as I review my goals from last year and step into planning and dreaming for 2016, I will recognize that anything I think worthy of writing down as a goal is enough. The process of completing the goal is enough. And when I accomplish that longed for dream, I’ll do a happy dance and celebrate!

If you want to join me, I want you to encourage you to check out my friend Michael Hyatt’s new and improved goal setting program 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever.  I have used this program for the past 2 years and will do it again this year.

I have used the tools he has provided. I’ve engaged with the ongoing coaching program offered and benefitted from private VIP FB groups and online coaching sessions with Michael.  I believe all of these things have combined to help me achieve some really big goals!  And I love that! And I want that for you too.

Click here to Check it out!

I believe in this program so much, I am an affiliate. That means, if you decide it’s right for you and you purchase the program, I get a thank you payment from Michael. But seriously, even if I weren’t, I would still be encouraging you to check it out.

I think it’s worth your time to at least look at.  There are 3 free videos that will totally help you now, even if you decide the program is not a fit. The free content will help you get get thinking about how you want to set your intention for 2016 and then recognize the cost of each day of your year…so enlightening!

(The kids and I have a cameo in them too — so fun! You must watch carefully to see us — and I’m 40lbs heavier in the pictures since they were shot in July of 2014, so I can hardly bear it…sooooo Embarrassing!)

Ok, I could go on and on! But I won’t. Instead, I’m going to go get busy on my Christmas Cards, say a thankful prayer with every envelope I address, and know that it’s All. Totally. Enough.

Love you!

Christy

ps – In case you missed it — click here — to check out the 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever program. What will it hurt to look it over? And what will it hurt if you don’t?  xoxoxo C

The post When is Enough, Enough? appeared first on Christy Largent.

You can imagine. It’s heartbreaking.

This week his Veteran’s Home brought in a speaker, Heather McKay, MS, OT/L to train the staff on how to work with people with Dementia.  They also offered a special session for families.  My husband and I attended.

Heather did a thorough and thoughtful job explaining the deterioration of a brain beset with the disease of Dementia.  It’s horrifying to see the stark physical differences between a healthy 80 year old brain and the shrunken, deformed brain of an 80 year old Alzheimer’s patient.

Almost the first question after she finished her presentation was “How do we keep our brains healthy?”  Precisely!  How do we avoid the trauma our loved ones are going through?

Heather gave a list of 10 things we can do.  I did 2 Periscopes about it here if you want to see them.  For you readers…here’s what she recommended. (With my additional #1 mentioned first.)

1.  Cut the Sugar, Flour and Eat Whole Foods.  I must admit this is my #1 because I’ve read the work of Dr. Daniel Amen and Dr. David Perlmutter and others who have done extensive research into the relationship between what you put in your body and how your brain works on that fuel.  Universally, their #1 recommendation is to eliminate sugar and grains from your diet.  It’s not easy, but a worthwhile goal for your best brain health. In the interest of full disclosure and transparency, I’ve struggled with my sugar/flour addiction for more than 10 years…I still haven’t found my own personal solution…I’ll keep you posted on that one.
2. Read.  Books.  Oh my! I did a little happy dance in my chair when Heather said this.  Sugar is hard. Books are easy.  Read chapter books.  Something like 80% of Americans read less than 10 books a year. How are you doing with your reading?  Situational memory is stimulated when you read, put down the book, do something else and then come back to the book.  As you “get back into the book” your brain works it’s situational memory activities and strengthens those brain cells.
3. Keep a Journal.  If you already do this, you’re on the right track.  If not, Heather suggested something simple to get started – create a “Done List” at the end of each day.  We are all familiar with “To Do” lists, and this is the same but in reverse.  Go back over your day and remember all the things that happened. Process them and plan ahead for the next day. Situational memory is activated and brain activity increased. All good.
4. Use Your Non-Dominant Hand.  Something magical happens inside your brain when you switch things up.  Simple things like opening the door or brushing your teeth with your opposite hand will trigger your brain to get busy and get working.
5. Work Crossword Puzzles.  My husband did the happy dance on this one. I cringed. Heather assured us that even those of us who struggle with these puzzles can start easy and work up.  I put “find crossword puzzle for babies” on my list.  I’ll get started on this right away. Really!
6. Find ways to add vocabulary to your knowledge bank.  Crazy, right? I think if you are reading good stuff, you’ll find new words.  Also, it sounds silly, but keep an old-fashioned dictionary at your desk and in between projects, pull it out and thumb through.  Then try to use a new word in a sentence or email sometime that day.  Oh, and I think crosswords work  for this too.
7. Games.  Do more of them.  Strategy and name and face games are best.  When you are struggling to remember a name of someone, let your brain run and try to remember it.  The brain is searching for a file (names are stored a different place than faces (images) are)…so let your brain search.  It can be frustrating, but the more you allow it to search, the stronger the ability will get. Make a game out of it and it will be even more helpful.
8. Exercise your body.  (You know this already!!)
9. Learn a foreign language.  Interestingly, the year I spent teaching english in Hungary I had the most vivid dreams of my life. Scientists tell us dreams are the way we process all the stimulation of the day. My mind was in overdrive during the day, and rebooting furiously during the night.  I’d say that year brought not only personal growth, but brain growth as well.
10. Learn to play a musical instrument.  Ok.  Put it on the list.

Bottom line as I run through these suggestions is for us to keep our brains working. Any time we bring something new to our brains they do a happy dance. And the more we do it, the happier they are!

I have a feeling I could write on each of these 10 individually – they are all so full of opportunity.  Each one of them is a choice. I was challenged to at least recognize that I have some control now over how my brain might turn out later.

How are you strengthening your brain? Shoot me a quick tweet or leave a comment here. I love hearing from you!

Love ya,

Christy

The post Top 10 Tips for a Super Connected Brain…and Life! appeared first on Christy Largent.

I’m so excited I have so much on my plate.  I mean, I’m really thankful for the work and the opportunities ahead in this last quarter of the year.

But, And, it’s so easy to spin ’round and ’round trying to figure out what’s next.

I know you super organized, focused and driven people don’t even get what I’m saying.  So just skip this post and go get yourself a nice Pumpkin Spice Latte.  But for the rest of us, here’s what helped me today.

As I thought about how to focus in, I combined a strategy I just learned from my friend and fellow professional speaker, Pegine, with one of my favorite action steps taken from Gary Keller’s awesome book, The One Thing, and came up with 3 quick steps to help get me back on track.

1.  Ask Yourself…“What is the one thing I can work on for a concentrated amount of time today that will really move my business forward?”  (Gary Keller’s idea.) This is such a great question because it really helps center your thinking on things that matter.  There is so much busywork that can jump up and grab our time – but when you ask this question, the busywork fades and the best emerges.
2. List the top 3-4 things that come to mind.  I’m sure you have a lot of GOOD things you could do today.  But without a doubt, there are most likely 3-4 things that could be classified as GREAT.  Put a big circle around the one that stands out above the rest. Create a sentence of intention around this one thing.
3. Write it down 10 times.  Yup.  Just like back when you got in trouble (I mean, some other kid got in trouble) and had to write something 100 times.  (Pegine’s idea.)  Just 10 times. It’s amazing how powerful it is to set your intention and then write that intention down multiple times.  I’ve found as I write, I usually fine tune the goal/intention as well.

I’m off to Periscope on this very topic, so if you haven’t tried Periscope yet, be sure to hop over to my Periscope page today, or click over to Katch to see a replay of all my Scopes. (Including Graham’s piano concert last night!)  Once I figure out the technical, I’ll get the scopes posted here on my website as well.  It’s baby steps, right?

Did this exercise help you?  What was your 1-thing today? Give me a quick tweet or you can comment below and let me know! I’d love to cheer you on!

Love ya,

Christy

The post 3 Tips to Go From Overwhelmed to Intention appeared first on Christy Largent.

How did all that happen in just a few hours?  It was a virtual meeting of my Mastermind group.  We 5 women gathered together around our computers.  We’re from 4 different states, yet all united with a specific focus to help each other.  And because we all were focused on helping each other, we obviously were given help ourselves.

Have you ever wanted to be in a Mastermind?  What is a Mastermind?  Basically, it’s a small group of people who commit to helping do all the things I mentioned above.  You usually commit to a specific focus, agree on a specific time frame and then meet together.  Sometimes one person starts it, and charges the others to be a part.  Sometimes the only fee is participation and your time.

I’ve been in 2 other masterminds, and each brought it’s own positives and negatives.  1 was super helpful, the other, not so much.  Typical, right?

I guess the overarching thing is that it’s a tool you can use for growth.  I love taking every opportunity for growth, don’t you?

That’s why I’m so excited to share with you a FREE event happening this week, “Masterminded” by my mentor and friend, Michael Hyatt.  You’ve heard me talk about him so many times over the past few years, and the key thing about him is he ALWAYS over-delivers.

I’m sure this FREE event will be no exception.  The Influence and Impact Summit is going to be a stellar coming together of some of the best and brightest influencers of our day.

People like Dave Ramsey, John Maxwell, Lysa TerKeurst, Jen Hatmaker, Andy Andrews, Glennon Doyle Melton, Jon Acuff, Bob Goff and many more will be gathered together between October 6-13, 2015.  You can watch or listen on your own time as Michael will email you a link to access 3 presentations at a time.  It’s all virtual, so super easy to squeeze in.

You can have access to this for FREE!  Did I mention it was for FREE?  So exciting!  You just need to register here at the Influence and Impact Summit page to get in on the summit.

I’m not an affiliate or anything, I just love all things Michael Hyatt.  And I love the magic that can happen when you are around people intent on giving their best.  Just like in my Mastermind this morning, I know you will find the speakers (and too many to name here, seriously!) will hit on just the thing you need to hear.  Right now.

So don’t miss out!  I want this for you – click here  – to register now for the big event!  I’ll see you there!

Love ya,

Christy

The post Are You Accelerating Your Excellence? appeared first on Christy Largent.

What a year this has been and now here we are just 90 days left until we’re celebrating the entrance of 2106.  Are you ready for all the hustle and bustle of the end of year?

I’ve decided to go ahead and get my Christmas cards sent out in the next few weeks.  You see last year’s cards are still sitting on the office shelf a-waiting their signing and stuffing.  I figure I’ll just write a new letter, snap a few new pictures and add the whole kit and caboodle into last year’s envelope and call it done.  Can you relate?

Actually, that’s what I call falling forward.

Things don’t work out as you had planned.  Your goal to _______________ (you fill in the blank) was missed by a New York mile.  And I figure that’s ok, in fact my experience shows, that’s LIFE.  So, here’s the question. How can we dig down into the essence of it, grab the really important part, regroup and once again move forward towards what we want?

And it’s not just with Christmas cards is it?  That book you started. The weight you had hoped to shed. The garden you had dreamed of getting landscaped. The clients you had hoped to connect with.  All worthy goals.  And yet here we are on October 1st and they are still incomplete.

I want to encourage you to stop and ask yourself what’s really important to you. Once you dial back into that core foundation, then it’s time to figure out what you want to focus on for the next 90 days.  What activities will move you towards accomplishing what you set out to do back last December or January?

It’s not too late.  I promise.  No matter how many times you miss, you can always try again. At least that’s my motto.  Revisit and make sure you really wanted it? Yes! And then once that’s done, get back on that horse. Or should I say, pick up that card, stuff that envelope and stick on that stamp!

I’m SO happy to be back with you.  Let me know what you’ve been doing.  You can leave a comment or just send me a tweet over on twitter.

I’m also Periscoping daily, so I’d love for you to join me there as well!  More on that later.

Hugs,

Christy

The post Fall-ing Forward appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here are the 3 steps I use:

1. Consider where you were when you set the goals.
2. Look at what you’ve accomplished so far.
3. Consider what’s still left to do and readjust if necessary

Encouraging Word for the day:  Psalms 20:4  “May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans.”

The post #513: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Purposeful (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When I say, “I’m responsible for getting the kids to school,” it sure doesn’t sound like much, but I have a feeling you can relate to the way that 1 responsibility can so wreck you that by 7:45am you feel like you are already DONE! (Or am I the only one?)

I’ve been trying a variety of things to create a good morning routine.  I’ve really loved the The Miracle Morning that Hal Elrod put together.  Remember when I talked about it here?

But I still felt like something was missing. And now that school will be out in only 3 more days, I know it’s more important than ever for me to settle in and pick something that will work consistently.

Enter my amazing friend, Crystal Paine.   You know I talk all about Crystal and her MoneySavingMom.com blog all the time.  I just admire her so much.  She’s so disciplined and organized and strategic.  (Don’t we just love our opposites!)

I’m so excited to let you know that she has a terrific course called Makeover Your Mornings that’s been incredibly successful in 2015 and now in 2016.

I went through the whole course and it was so simple and fun.  Using videos that include glimpses inside her real life, I was so engaged, I watched all 14 episodes in just one sitting!  And I have a sneaking suspicion you’re going to love it too.

Crystal has created the Make Over Your Mornings course to help you revolutionize your productivity, streamline your days, eliminate decision fatigue, cultivate your soul, and MORE!

Some of the topics covered in this program include:

• Discovering why a well-planned morning revolutionizes your whole day
• Establishing bedtime routines
• Designing a morning routine centered on your biggest priorities
• Goal-setting
• Setting up a task management system
• Prioritizing exercise and healthy breakfasts
• Creating internal and external motivators
• Establishing accountability
• Battling lies
• Building stamina when things get tough

But what I especially love is that all this goodness is packed into a simple, three-fold approach:  a chapter to read, a video to watch, and a project to complete – all of which will take no more than 15 minutes of your time.  We all have time for that! 

I think this tiny investment — just 15 minutes of your day – anytime of day by the way — can yield potentially amazing results for you and your family.  

But Crystal’s not the Money Saving Mom for nothing!  And this course is unbelieveably priced!

I know! Crazy, right?  I mean seriously, if you get even 1 good tip it’s totally worth it!  So head on over to MakeOverYourMornings.com and get in on the rock-bottom price for this fabulous course!

So as we head into the middle of another month, I know your best first step is to take a breath and discover Crystal’s Makeover Your Mornings program.

Who know what might happen?  It might, just might, be the first step towards making over your life!

P.S. I’m so happy to be an affiliate of Crystal’s on this program.  I believe in the program and am so thankful to be able to share it with you.

The post Makeover Your Morning and You Just Might Makeover Your Life appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I want to share a few words of encouragement.  Sunday’s holiday used to be one of the saddest days of my year.  I know the pain of dashed hopes and deferred dreams.  And I’ve found some ways to navigate that I think might be helpful to you too.  Listen in for more!

Key Ideas:

1.  Remember – “Not now” doesn’t mean “Never”

2.  Managing Expectations

3.  When the difficulties come, hang on.

4.  Look for the sunshine

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Psalm 37:4  “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you all the desires of your heart.”

The post #047: Encouragement for Mother’s Day (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I share the “aha” moment I had that has helped me to do a turnaround when in conflict.  Learning how to be transparent can be transformational.

Recommended Books:

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Luke 6:38 “Give and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

The post #512: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Transparent (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember, when giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is about how to be so clear the other person knows EXACTLY what you want them to do.  It’s the perfect way to complete your thoughts — creating an effective feedback opportunity.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #511: 5 Minute Connection – Be Clear (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

So here are the 5 big takeaways…

1. Discover your Assets
2. Broaden your perspective
3. Find ways to connect
4. Surround yourself with people who care
5. Pay attention to your heart

Encouraging Word for the Week:  Proverbs 19:20-21 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.  Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

The post #046: 5 Key Life Skills to Enjoy Life More (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember, when giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is more about how to stay out of judgement or assumption, and instead, Be Honest.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #510: 5 Minute Connection – Be Honest (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This week I’m in Orlando, Florida at the Launch Conference, put on by Ken Davis and his Dynamic Communicators event team.  I’m learning so much, and more importantly, I’m being pushed into action while making connections with top thinkers and doers.

I love this stuff.  That’s because I love learning.  And let’s face it, taking online classes and going to conferences is a heck of a lot cheaper than going back to college!

And the other thing is that I’m putting into practice what I’m learning.  This blog, my podcast, my soon to be published book are all evidence of this training getting put into practice.

So I wanted to ask you…how are you investing in yourself this year?  Have you taken time to read an inspiring book?  Have you started learning a new skill with an online class?

Let’s break it down to the super simple.  Have you Googled or YouTubed how to do something new this year?

You might be living in fear like I was.  Afraid to try something that might be uncomfortable or has the possibility of being imperfect (Gasp!)

But seriously,

The #1 Benefit to learning something new is…

You’ll feel really, really, really good!

My brother has always been the smart one in our family.  He was the math wiz at an early age.  For me however, anything to do with math and I’d run.  Add computer to that, and yikes!  That was a recipe for nightmares in my book.

I developed an aversion to anything that might even get close to doing math on the computer.  And of course, every year tax season was a huge burden as I had to manually deal with all my receipts etc.

This year I was challenged to get a Quick Books program.  I bit the bullet and got the program.  I went to a training and then got some personalized tutoring on how to use it.  I entered my entire year’s worth of data into the program.  And guess what?

It was so incredible!!  I did it!  I printed out my very first profit and loss statement!  And even more amazing…I FELT WONDERFUL!!!  I was so darned strong, happy and empowered when I finished I literally felt like Wonder Woman!  If any bullets had been flying by, I’m sure I could have deflected them with my magical quickbooks bracelets of gold.  Simply amazing!

Seriously.  You HAVE to try this!  I think part of why it felt so amazing was that I didn’t think I could do it, and so when I did it, it was a double happiness hit. Ahhhhh!

I want this for you!  (I know I’m using a lot of exclamation marks today…but I’m sure it’s the only way I can convey to you the enormous mounds of emotion that this achievement raised for me!!)

Do you want to learn how to use a new program?  Are you eager to try a new cooking technique, but been worried it would turn out poorly?  Maybe it’s dance lessons that are calling out to be taken, but you don’t want to feel silly by being the youngest in the class.

Or even more seriously, do you need/want/fear a conversation with your husband about something important and deeply felt by you, but you’re not sure how to say it so you say nothing?  Speaking the truth in love is a skill you can learn…I know how scary it feels, yet how exhilarating it is after the conversation actually happens.

All this I want for you so much.  I want you to experience the rush of adrenalin that comes from actually doing that thing you’ve been fearing.  For me, all it took was that silly computer program. What is it for you? I’d love to hear.

The post The #1 Benefit of Learning Something New This Month appeared first on Christy Largent.

I’m going to focus on 3 main elements of giving effective feedback over the next 3 weeks.

When giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is all about how to avoid judgement or assumption, and instead, be specific.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #509: 5 Minute Connection – Be Specific (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

• How to find inspiration
• Using the calendar to ensure “me time”
• How to keep your husband a priority
• Recognizing seasons in life
• Creative ideas for how to get help

Encouraging Word of the Week:  1 Peter 4:10 (The Voice)  “Use whatever gift you’ve received for the good of one another so that you can show yourselves to be good stewards of God’s grace in all it’s varieties.”

The post #045: Ask Anna Moseley and Asking for Help (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Thankfully, I have an amazing sister-in-law who reminded me of this yesterday, so I get to share it with you today!

Key reminders about being yourself:

1.  It’s scary.

2.  It’s easier to wear a mask.

3.  It’s totally worth it.

Encouraging Word:  Romans 12:9a (The Message) “Love others well, and don’t hide behind a mask; love authentically.“

The post #508: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Yourself appeared first on Christy Largent.

This week, I want to give you 2 magic questions you can use when you absolutely MUST give the advice burdening your heart.  Before you speak…

Ask yourself these 2 questions:

1.  What gives me the right?

2.  Is it in the best interest of the relationship?

Listen to the podcast and share it!  I think you’ll enjoy this part 2 of the podcast.  Who knows, it might even change your life!  And feel free to share with your friends!

I’d love to know – do you struggle with giving unsolicited advice?  How do you keep from becoming “that person” who always has a better way of doing something? Please let me know your thoughts!

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 12:18  “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

The post #507: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Mysterious Part 2 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Unsolicited advice will destroy relationships, create conflict, drive division, and push people further and further away from you.  If you want healthy relationships where your friends and family ASK for your advice, then you’d better say far, far away from giving the unsolicited kind.

Today I’m sharing with you a humorous story on this very subject.  I think you’ll love it!…so you have to listen to the podcast.  But if you can’t spare 5 minutes, here’s my advice for keeping yourself from giving Unsolicited Advice:

When you want to start talking, instead, start asking questions.  

I hope you enjoy this today.  I’d encourage you to listen.  It’s short and who knows..it might even change your life!  And if you know someone who loves to give unsolicited advice, please feel free to share this with them too.

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Romans 12:18 “If possible, live in peace with everyone. Do that as much as you can.”

The post #506: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Mysterious Part 1 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Or at least it was a blast the last time I took the class.  This morning, not so much.  You see, I’m out of practice.  I’ve been doing other things in the morning.  Specifically sleeping.  So I’m just a tad bit out of spinning shape.

If you’ve ever been a spinner, you know what I’m talking about.  After you’ve been spinning a month or so you kind of find your groove.  You figure out how to push yourself without throwing up.  You know what I’m talking about.

But this morning everything was different.  I was sooooo slow!  My mind said, “Legs, push!”, and the legs surged forward with all the strength of a noodle.  And while I was struggling for breath and willing myself forward, I realized there were a few universal ideas I was being reminded of as I reacclimatized myself into spinning shape.  I thought I’d share them with you.

1.  Your ride is different than the teacher’s and everyone else’s ride.  That’s right.  You have your own rhythm, your own style and your own timing.  Just like in life.  Your  journey is uniquely your own.  It may or may not mirror the journey of your boss or your best friend.  What matters is that you figure out what your ride is and ride it with all your heart.  It will be the best possible ride.  Uniquely yours.

2.  The unknown will bring blessings all it’s own.  This morning Silas played music I had never heard before.  I’m a musical person and I like to think I am sort of connected to what’s happening in today’s music scene.  But this morning I only recognized 1 song.  Out of the 12 or so songs he played, only 1!  I couldn’t believe it!  But you know what, I loved it!  I embraced the newness of that music and reveled in the energy it helped pump through my increasingly tired legs.  The blessing of the unknown kept me engaged to the very end of every song rather than anticipating the ending as I normally would have done.

Often when we are faced with the unknown, our tendency is to avoid, right?  New co-worker.  Walk down the other hall so you won’t have to engage with her.  Or that difficult decision you’re waiting to hear back on.  You avoid checking your emails or voicemails because you don’t want to have to hear potential bad news.  Or how about what I’m struggling with right now…fear of the unknown.  I don’t know how to do some of the technical details required to get my book published, so instead of powering through, I’m avoiding through other activities.  (Like this post if the truth be told!)  Let’s embrace our unknown together.

3.  When you’ve done the hard thing, you will feel amazing!  Yes.  As the hour moved to a close, I was so happy!  Spent. Yes.  Exhausted. Yup. Empowered. Absolutely!  In fact, as I was getting off the bike and grabbing the cleaning papers to wipe it down, I actually thought to myself, “Now, THIS is a way to get my week of to a great start!  I’ll bet I get a ton accomplished today.”

I didn’t think that because I was a seriously good rider.  No way!  I thought that because I did something uncomfortable – several somethings actually…but the end result was what I really wanted.  A stronger heart, firmer legs (maybe someday) and most of all, completion of a desired task.

How about you?  What can you jump into today to give yourself a spin?  How can you challenge yourself to ride your own ride, embrace the unknown and revel in the feeling of accomplishment that will ensue?  I’d love to hear your stories!

The post 3 Lessons from Getting Spun this Morning appeared first on Christy Largent.

1.  Smile

2.  Stick out your hand and introduce yourself.

3.  Lean towards the new person

4.  Look them in the eye

5.  Speak up

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

The post #505: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Friendly (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s the magic of charisma, and I have a few ideas to share with you about how you can get some too!  Listen to the podcast for all the details…

Key Suggestions Discussed:

1.  Confidence

2.  Questions

3.  Listen

4.  Be interesting

5.  Laugh (at yourself)

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

The post #504: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Charismatic (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

You won’t find sugar coating and happy endings here.  What you will find is HOPE in all capital letters.  Because Michele is not a christian in name only.  She lives a gut wrenching faith through the depths of trial and despair.

Since Michele couldn’t be on the show due to the fact she’s in the middle of healing from her most recent cancer surgery, I decided to review the book and go over my biggest take-aways.  If you read my blog post yesterday, I covered these briefly there, but today I take it deeper.

And I have a special ending where you will hear from Michele herself doing what she does best.  Telling a story.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life Highlights

• With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.
• There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.
• Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.

Part 2 – My Decision before I become Undone!

• Making hard choices
• Being realistic
• Staying focused

Website Links

Michele Cushat

Recommended Reading

Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, by Michele Cushat

Connect with Michele

On Facebook

On Twitter

On Instagram

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Jeremiah 29:11  “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

The post #043: Michele Cushatt – Undone Book Review (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When I started Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, I had a tiny idea of what to expect.  After all, my friend, Michele Cushatt, speaker, blogger, co-host of the top rated podcast This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt, MC for Women of Faith, had been diagnosed with cancer last year.  Or should I say re-diagnosed.  So I knew she had some challenging times in her past and present, I just didn’t know how earth shattering those challenges really were.

Most of us would be buried under the weight of those burdens.  Broken marriage. Single parenting.  Blended family.  Cancer.  Rebellious kids.  Foster parenting. Cancer again.  And again.  Oh my!

But the reason I want you to read this book is not because of how horrible it all is, but how incredibly wonderful it all is.  That’s right.  Wonderful.  Because Michele shares the entire story with an underlying peace and calm that’s completely inspiring.  Her faith is deep and her writing is lyrical, so you are carried along.  Even in the midst of becoming Undone, this really is, as her tag line reads, A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life.

She weaves so many ideas throughout this wrenchingly honest and brave memoir, it’s hard to pick just a few.  But of course I did (since I love 3-point take-aways), and following are 3 things I want you to remember the next time YOU are coming Undone.

1.  With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.  When Michele was struggling with chronic pain, a body that wouldn’t heal, and a root canal in an already raw mouth, she realized she was booked to speak at a huge women’s conference.  This was an opportunity she had worked for and was really looking forward to.  But seriously. Picture yourself in that situation.  As my mother would say, “She was just beside herself.”

But God.  Michele’s prayer, “God.  I have nothing.  Nothing.  You’re going to have to show up in a big way.  The Advil too.  I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”  

Here’s what happened,

“For two days, women who heard my story lined up at my book table, one by one sharing their own stories of heartache;  of broken marriages, wayward children, and the difficult wrestlings of this life of faith.  Again and again, I abandoned a chair to grasp hands with a stranger, close my eyes and pray.  Together we poured out our hearts to a God we desperately needed but didn’t always understand.  Real, broken, in-progress women trying so very hard to live.”

Yup.  What you never thought you could do.

2.  There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.  Story after story Michele weaves a beautiful tapestry out of all the yuck she has waded through.

• A failed marriage brought a brand new ministry to single moms.  And more.
• A tough new marriage and blended family brought a new appreciation for  imperfection and second chances.  And more.
• Cancer.  And more cancer.  I can’t even start on that list — too many good things to write down in this post!  Can you even believe that!!  It’s true!

And my biggest take-away of all…

3.  Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.  Michele had some of the most magical opportunities presented to her in the midst of her cancer and other challenges.  Many of us might have passed on the opportunities because of all the other stuff going on.  But not Michele.  We can learn from her choices.

When prospects of a quickly approaching empty nest were put to bed on the heels of “one phone call that came with three children,” Michele and her husband moved forward into their new life.  It wasn’t pretty, but they didn’t shun the opportunity because it wasn’t what they had imagined.  Instead they embraced it.   And when you read the book, you’ll understand all the beauty that came (and is coming) from that choice.

Can you tell I loved this book!   If you’ve ever felt just a tad bit “Undone” then get this book.  If you have a friend who is the midst of “Undone”, then get this book and give it to her.  Your friend will thank you.  Michele will thank you.  I’ll thank you.

Because really, isn’t that what it’s all about as we struggle through this life?  Encouraging each other.  Loving each other.  All because HE first loved us.  Making the most of every day because the days are short.

Love ya!

Christy

Question:  What are some of the ways you are able to survive when you’re coming undone?  Please leave your answers below, or in the comments on FB or Twitter.

Note: Quotes are from Michele Cushatt’s book, Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life. All rights reserved.

The post 3 Things to Remember When You Are Coming Undone appeared first on Christy Largent.

“That Feeling” = Tight chest, shallow breathing, head spinning, general feeling of high anxiety about all the things I should be doing, hadn’t done or missed doing.

About 6 months ago, I realized that when my body has this visceral reaction, I needed to pay attention.

It wasn’t just the physical I was experiencing.  Because at the same time, my mind was going wild and I felt:  Overwhelmed.  Ashamed.  Anxious.  Behind.  Embarrassed.  Frustrated.  Scared.  Not Enough.  And again Ashamed.

So I stopped, took a few deep breaths, remembered what I was supposed to, wanted to get busy doing, and thought I would take my own minute of re-connection to re-connect with you and share with you what worked for me, just in case you have ever felt like this too.

1. Stop.  This is where you readjust yourself physically.  You MUST do this first, even before anything else.  Physically stop and breathe.  Close your eyes, sit up straight, gently move your head and shoulders to realign.  Focusing on nothing but the air, breathe in deeply, all the way to your bellybutton.  Do it again.  And one more time.  You should start feeling a bit of relief right away.
2. Think.  This is where you readjust your mind.  Let go of all the negative you just veered off course into. Remind yourself of what you want to do.  Your calling.  Your passion.  Let go of the comparison.  (Yup, my guess is that’s at the root of this particular melt-down.)
3. Act.  This is where you do something positive to move yourself in the right direction.  Start doing that thing you just reminded yourself about.  The old saying, “just do the next right thing” really comes in handy here.  You know what it is.  You can do it. Start.

I hope these reminders helped you.  They helped me.  Now I’d better get back to my regularly scheduled programming.

Love ya!

Christy

P.S.  I’d love to hear your stories.  What sends you into a panic?  What is your trigger?  How do you get out of it?  Please leave your comments below, on FB or Tweet it!

The post I Felt Overwhelmed and Ashamed and How I Moved Past It appeared first on Christy Largent.

Most people pad or hedge with the best of intentions, but what happens is the opposite.

Lesson:  Avoid Hedging and Use Power Phrases

You’ll have to listen to get them — too boring to write here.

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Matthew 5:37 (Phillips) “Whatever you have to say let your ‘yes’ be a plain ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ a plain ‘no’—anything more than this has a taint of evil.”

The post #503: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Straightforward (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today’s Tip:  Be Connected!

I want you to grow strong connections.  Here are a few ideas to help you develop strong, healthy connections.  Remember, more details are in the podcast.

1. Decide you want connection
2. Be willing to be vulnerable
3. Be focused on them when you are with them
4. Time — it Takes Time and you must Give it Time
5. Enjoy the fruits of connection

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Matthew 18:20  “Where 2 or 3 are gathered together, there I am with them.”

Question:  What do you think about these 5 minute Fridays?  I’d love to hear your comments!

The post #502: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Connected (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• Anne’s key activities
  • Delegate Activities
  • Eliminate Decisions
  • Prioritize and ask – “Is This Really Important?”

[Tweet ““I am not here to do it all.” Anne Ricci”]

Part 2 – The Power of Effective Prioritization

• Run your priority selection through My Priority Process

Website Links

Anne’s Healthy Kitchen

Lifespa.com  Dr. John Douillard

Anne’s Recommended Reading

Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder, by Arianna Huffington.

Connect with Anne

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 24:27 “Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and then after that, build your house.”

The post #042: Anne Ricci – Anne’s Healthy Kitchen and Prioritizing (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today’s Tip:  Listening!

I want you to “Be All Ears”.  It’s amazing what can happen when you stop just thinking about your own agenda and begin really listening and paying attention to those in your life.

• Focus
• Follow
• Feedback

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  James 1:19  “Know this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

The post #501: 5 Minute Friday – Be All Ears (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The benefits of an unexpected journey
• Finding Mentors
• Her favorite productivity secret Hint:  It’s painless!
• Friendships – finding honest ones
• How to be totally awesome!

• Part 2 – Set Yourself Up for Success

• Sleep Enough
• Plan, then Schedule
• Clear out the clutter
• Get busy and enjoy it all

Website Links

www.karikampakis.com  All the good stuff from Kari

www.handsfreemama.com  LOVE this blog!

www.jeanniecunnion.com  Another keeper! Wonderful.  And her book is stunning too.

www.thehouseofhendrix.com  So awesome.

I love all of these connections.  Kari’s leading you in the right direction with these amazing women!

Kari’s Recommended Reading

10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, by Kari! This is sooooo good!

The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?, by Rick Warren

Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

Connect with Kari

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  “A Time for Everything”
“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

The post #041: Kari Kampakis and Success Tips (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This past year, writing a book was on my list of “I want to accomplish this.”  As you know, 2014 was full of blog starting, podcast starting, and more speaking.  When on earth was I going to fit in time to write?

Well, late last spring I sat in on a webinar put on by a guy named Chandler Bolt.  Chandler’s program was how to write and publish a book in 90 days…oh and get that book on the Amazon Best Seller list too.  That sounds good, doesn’t it?  I was really impressed.  Although he’s young, he has an excellent track record of getting his books to the #1 rankings in Amazon.  Not bad, right?

So I signed on for his course and jumped in.  Well, life happened, and I didn’t actually start on the book until mid-fall.  I wrote it in October and November, and my plan is to publish by the end of the February.  Chandler’s program helped me make this happen.

Well, Chandler and his business partner James have put together an updated and fully improved version of their program called Self Publishing School and this new program is why I say Help Is On It’s Way!

If you’ve ever thought about writing a book, I’d encourage you to seriously check out what Chandler and James are offering.  It’s not cheap, but I do believe it’s so valuable!  Here are just a few of the things he and his team will walk you through step by step…

• How to get started
• How to write even when you’re not inspired
• How to create a killer title and subtitle
• Tactics for how to classify your book for maximum exposure
• Social media ninja marketing tactics to help you get all your friends involved and supportive
• Finding an editor
• Creating the perfect cover
• and so much more…

If you have a story to share, or if you know a book would be the natural next step for your own platform, I just know you will love this program!  Starting today, February 16th through the 22nd, only, you’ll be able to sign up for this program.  Click through to the program here.  Think of all the lives you will positively affect by getting your story published!

Question:  Have you ever thought about writing a book?  What has held you back? I’d love to hear your comments!

The post Do You Have A Book In You? appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today she shares her best practices with us for how to live life with faith and without pretense.  You’re going to really enjoy her!

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• Using the 4 Things List
• Being vulnerable
• Mommy Guilt
• 14 day challenge!

Part 2 – Exciting Update!

Website Links

Christine Leeb Website

4 Real Moms Website

Christine’s Blog

Recommended Resources

Christine’s Book: In His Light: Facing Fear With Faith. You’ll love this!

The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Ormartian

The Power of a Praying Parent, by Stormie Ormartian

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 126:3  “The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.”

The post #039: Christine Leeb – 4 Real Moms (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I got the iPad as a Christmas present.  Actually, I purchased it the day after Thanksgiving during the Target’s awesome Black Friday sale.  So I even got it for a crazy-good price.  But I wrapped it up and even hauled it on our trip with us.

I didn’t open the box until last night.  Why on earth?

I was trying to analyze why I do that to myself.  I put off really good things.  And I do this with blogging, editing my podcast interviews, finishing my book…and the list goes on.

Do you relate?  I think it must be because sometimes, even when new things are really good, the unknown still makes me nervous.  Maybe it’s that I’m just getting too far down the road, wondering about how it’s going to play out, so I stop myself before I even start.

[Tweet “”Even when new things are really good, the unknown still makes me nervous.””]

I’ve decided to turn it around.  And when I feel like putting something off, rather than turn it all around in my head, I’m going to immediately do something positive about it.

This concept is something I’m going to start embracing.  I LOVE what comes after I do these things.  After all, it’s an iPad!  Can you say…easy-peasy?  And yes, I’m already loving it and wondering how on earth I ever did without it and it’s been less than 12 hours!

And with all the other stuff?  Here’s what I’ve come to.  I’m going to quit telling you hard and fast deadlines about my work.  I’m going to do my best to connect with you in a regular way with my podcast and blog posts and Facebook and twitter.  No set schedule.

I know that goes against all the experts.  But seriously.  I am SO NOT these people who are introverts and schedulers and get-it-all-done-at-any-cost types.  I’m just Christy.

My first priority is my family and many most days they take up a lot of my brain activity, not to mention, time.  And that’s OK.  Actually, I’m really AOK with that.

As you may know, I waited a long time to be a Mama, and I want to savor every moment.

And at the same time, I really love you, my encouragers, who I feel privileged to connect with day in and day out.  And I want to give you my best.

So, with that in mind…all my pre-planned schedules I thought I could do this year are going by the way-side.  I’m going to do my best to get you weekend updates, and twice a week posts and weekly podcasts.  Do my best being the operative words in this sentence.

Ahhh, it feels so freeing to say that.  So you won’t be expecting what I can’t, or don’t, give.  How does that sound?

Question:  What do you struggle with putting off?  It’s more than simple procrastination isn’t it?  How have you overcome that tendency?  I’d love to hear your suggestions!  Please leave a note below.

The post The Sweet at the End of the Stuck appeared first on Christy Largent.

Several of her books have been New York Times Bestsellers. She has both biological and adopted kids, and when she adopted, she didn’t go for just one, nooooo, she adopted like 10 (just kidding, I think it was 2).  You get the picture right?

Well, the reason I’m mentioning and linking to that post here, is because it was such a totally clear picture of a certain personality type I just couldn’t stand it!  In fact, her blog post title was How to Choose People Over Projects.

Seriously.

She even made printables to help her remember to do this.

Seriously.

Now some of you are like, Wow, that would really help me.  I always find myself thinking how people get in the way of my accomplishments.  And others of you are like, Are you crazy?  Why on earth would you put a project ahead of a relationship?

And there you have the rub.  The personality conflict that causes just that.  Conflict.

Because you want your office mate to drop her project and join you for lunch at the trendy new hot spot.  And she can’t understand how you can even think of leaving the office for lunch, of all things, when the project isn’t finished.

Or your husband wants to take Saturday and explore a new set of trails and you’re fretting and stewing because the new toilet you purchased 3 weeks ago still isn’t installed.

See where the conflict arises?  It’s simple personality conflict.  I would call it Action Annie vs. the rest of us.

Here are 3 positive ways you can work through this difficulty.

1.  Recognize you have different expectations. You might be tempted to think there is something wrong with the other person when they don’t act the way you would.  After all, they clearly have different priorities than you do.

You’ll be able to reconnect when you recognize that these differences aren’t really wrong. They are just different.

2.  Discuss your differing desires. Having an open discussion of these differing expectations will be very productive for you. Once we name it and get it out for discussion, then you can move forward to a solution.

3.  Work out a compromise.  This sounds a lot easier than it actually is of course.  Maybe you can stay through lunch to finish up the project and then celebrate with a brisk walk around the block together after it’s finished.  Or how about working together to get the toilet installed so you can take the afternoon to explore those new trails.

When we change our perspective on these differences, we will be able to appreciate and actually be thankful for the variety in our personalities.  Try these ideas the next time a conflict like this arises and I think you’ll enjoy the positive outcome.

Question:  What are the typical personality conflicts you deal with?  Do they drive you crazy or have you figured out ways to bring out the best?  I’d love to hear your ideas! Just leave your comments below.

P.S. – If you want to know more about The Personalities, you might want to check out some of my first podcasts here and here where I gave an introduction to the various styles.

The post Psst…Your Personality is Showing appeared first on Christy Largent.

As I was thinking about today’s blog post, I realized how powerful this concept of going with your gut can be in the area of our communication.  Let me ask you this…Have you ever had a nudge to speak with someone, but you resisted?  Have you ever shut down that small, quite prodding and just ignored it?

Usually, your self talk will be something like this:

• She’ll think I’m crazy.
• He doesn’t really want to know this.
• Who do I think I am to tell her this?
• She already gets lots of positive feedback, mine wouldn’t add much to the conversation.
• I’m embarrassed to let him know how he has affected me.

and my favorite,

• I’ll feel like an idiot!

But I’m going to suggest today that there are 3 really good reasons you should go with your gut, your intuition, your heart.

1.  There’s a whole lot of stuff we are not cognitively aware of going on out there which our unconscious is responding to – so we’d better pay attention.  David Epstein wrote in his book, The Sports Gene: Inside the Science of Extraordinary Athletic Performance, a story about how many professional baseball players were being struck out by softball phenom Jennie Finch.  How could this be?  How were the strongest and best baseball hitters in the world being struck out by a girl?

Well, it turns out that baseball players don’t really watch the ball coming at them – there’s no time.  What they have become expert at, is reading the body of the pitcher – the minuscule body movements are what tells them where the ball will end up.  Obviously, they were not expert at reading a softball pitcher’s body and suddenly they became just like the rest of us.

2.  The more you respond to your intuition, the more often you will hear it.  I’m sure there’s science about this somewhere, but I have experienced that the more tuned in I am to my heart, the more clearly I hear it.  Whether this is to take dinner to my neighbor, have a conversation with my husband, contact that client or switch into the right lane of traffic, I generally try to act on the feeling.  I don’t know why, but it usually ends up being a very needed action.

And most importantly of all…

 3.  Someone needs what you have to say.  Believe me, if you are feeling a prompting to speak, someone needs to hear you.  I love the story of the woman who was at the end of her rope, barely hanging on to her will to live when a stranger blessed her with a smile and a warm greeting.  That’s such a minor thing to do, but reaching out, even to a stranger, will have an impact far beyond what you will ever know.

When I think about how we communicate, I’m convinced we can have an even more positive effect on people if we pay attention and respond to our gut.  There are a millions cues being thrown about all the time.  We don’t see them, but we’re receiving them.  Our gut, our heart, our intuition is receiving them.

So the next time you get a “gut feeling”…Go for it!  And enjoy the positive results that can happen.

Question:  Have you ever gone with your gut and something amazing happened?  I’d love to hear your stories!  Just leave a note below.

The post 3 Big Reasons to Go With Your Gut appeared first on Christy Largent.

We continued with Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions For Kids by Sara Young, in the car on the way to the bus stop, and we’re actually having a great time with it – discussing the passage and then praying.  Well, I try to get the praying in while they make comments about my prayer from the backseat.

I’m going to start on a scripture memory project with them this week.  I want to start with Ephesians 6:10-18.  I figure if I can make it into a multi-sensory project, it will be much easier for them to learn the passage.  It’s all about the Armor of God, so I think it will be fun.  I’m planning on starting with verse 10 this week.  I’ll post a picture of how the projects came out next week.

What I finished reading this week:
Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creativeby Austin Kleon. I liked this book. Quite a few creative ideas – like separating my work space into creative and non-creative. I’m going to see how I can implement that with my limited space. Quick read and quite thought provoking too.
A New York Christmas: A Novel by Anne Perry. I love this author. Her descriptions of 1800’s England and America are entertaining and educational. This was her typical mystery with lots of hand wringing and agonizing unspoken dramas included. Fast and although not as awesome as her usual ones, I do enjoy these holiday novelettes.
Better Homes and Gardens Kitchen and Bath Renovation Guide (Better Homes and Gardens Home). We have some renovation work to do on our almost 70 year old mid-century modern home. This is a current publication and I got a lot of good ideas. Although my copy is from the library and I’ll be returning it – when we get closer to remodeling, I’ll get it again. Really enjoyed this.

This week I’ll continue with the ones I either haven’t started or didn’t finish from last week, and I’ve added a few more.
Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child’s Heart with God’s Extravagant Grace, by Jeannie Cunnion. I’m LOVING this book! I’m so glad I bought it. It has all kinds of great suggestions for loving and discipling your child in a way that makes sense. I highly recommend this! I’m savoring it and taking my time reading it.  I’m going to try and get Jeannie on as a podcast guest to talk about this book.  I think you would LOVE it too!
The Attributes of God: A Journey into the Father’s Heart by A. W. Tozer. I’m so excited to dig into this one. I’m working on the beginnings of a new book idea and this is part of my research.:)
The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM)by Hal Elrod. You guys. This book is an answer to prayer! For more than a year I have been saying I want to get into a morning routine…but I just haven’t been able to. I’m not even sure why it’s been so difficult, but I just haven’t been able to dig in. But can you believe it? I finally found the answer.

Last night as I was driving down I-5 headed to speak for a fundraising dinner, I turned on Jaime Tarde’s podcast and heard her talking with Hal. Unbelievable. Seriously. I felt like the heavens opened up and threw down just exactly what I had been searching for. I’m going to start living the Miracle Morning this week (tomorrow!), so I’ll let you know how it goes for me this time next week. Who knows? It could be just what you are looking for too!

And of course, if I have time, I’ll whip out John Grisham’s latest, Gray Mountain: A Novel because seriously, who doesn’t love a good John Grisham?

Wellness Journey
Holy Smokes! What an awesome week it has been! I’ve stuck with my program and as of Thursday the 22nd I was 13 lbs down from January 2nd. Wowzers! I feel amazing. This morning when I woke up I felt like my old self. Super happy and positive and full of energy. I remember when I did a cleanse back in 2013, my husband’s comment to me was “you’re just so nice!” Ahem…could it be that this healthy eating with out sugar and junk is positively affecting my personality and behavior? Me thinks we may be on to something!

• Yoga 3 times a week feels amazing.
• Making sure I get 7-8 hours of sleep.  This is huge because all kinds of research is confirming the negative impact lack of sleep has on metabolism. I’m determined to give myself every possible advantage.
• Exercise is included with my Miracle Morning, so I’ll be looking forward to that as well.

I’m just so happy to be moving forward on this goal you guys!  You can’t know how discouraging it is to week after week not only not lose any weight, but even gain!  Week after week and year after year…gets very discouraging.  I just have a feeling getting this on track is positively affecting everything else in my life.  So thankful.

Professionally:

• This past week I was able to get the 2 blog posts in I had planned as well as the speaking engagement last night.  The funny thing with the speaking event was I had prepared a really neat program – but the woman who spoke before me (it was an event to raise money for victims of domestic violence) said something that pricked my heart and when I got up there I felt impressed to give a whole other talk!  That doesn’t happen very often, but when I’m nudged, I’ve learned to listen, so I gave a presentation on forgiveness.  Nothing like a 15 minute impromptu speech.  Thankfully, I’ve spoken on this quite a few times before, so it wasn’t completely off the cuff but I do think it was the message I was supposed to give.  Never a dull moment.
• I did not finish editing my podcast last week.  I had to let go of the idea I would be able to say, “I’ve released a podcast every single week for _____ years.”  You know what, my life is really full and doing my work is just part of it.  I chose to spend extra time with my kids this week rather than edit – and I don’t regret it.  My pride has taken a hit, but seriously.  What matters is so much more than my pride.
• This week I will edit 2 podcasts and release 1.  I’m out of town the following week, so I need to get it ready to go when I’m gone.  I’m also doing 2 interview with some really interesting women, so there should be more good stuff ahead.
• I didn’t make much headway with my book – will work on that again this week in hopes of finishing it up.

Whew!…This is a long post again.  I hope your week was good.  I guess you’ll need to humor me as I work out this exercise of a weekend review.  It’s a good accountability for me, and I hope it’s encouraging for you.

Question:  How did your week go?  Are you living your life intentionally and with purpose?  I’d love to hear your progress.  Just leave your comments below.

Big hugs,
Christy

PS – There was an article this week that said emoticons were actually positive to use in all types of communication – so now I fee vindicated that I can use smiley faces to my heart’s content.

The post Weekend Update Jan 25th appeared first on Christy Largent.

If you’ve ever worked for or with someone who just bugs you, here are 3 suggestions to help you turn a crummy interaction into something positive:

1.  Recognize your feelings.  This is a new skill that I’ve been working on. When you feel that rush of anger or frustration, instead of grabbing it and massaging it and escalating it, simply recognize it.

Try something like, Wow, that comment hurts.  Or, I’m feeling really mad right now.  There’s something about saying the statement out loud or to yourself that will help you process it.

Identify more about why it hurts or is inflammatory.  For example,  When she said I was a bad team player, I feel unappreciated.  My reaction is to get defensive and lash back at her.  Wow, I’m really uncomfortable.

I also recommend you take some deep breaths as you walk yourself through the emotions of the situation.  Try to pinpoint exactly what it is that’s causing such a strong emotional reaction inside of you.  Now you’re ready to…

2.  Figure out if and/or how you are going to address this with her.  My experience is that sometimes you need to address it, and sometimes you just need to let it go.  Let’s be realistic.  With some people, you could talk until you’re blue in the face and it would do NO GOOD! If that’s the case, please, just give yourself the freedom to experience the emotion and then choose to release it.  You might need to take a few deep breaths and physically open your hands outward – breathing out the release as you fan your fingers open.

But if the irritating person is open to honest communication, you would do well to create an assertive dialogue and let them know how their words affected you.  Both of you will do better after that discussion and you can move forward.

Regardless of which step you decide, I always find it helpful to close the interaction with the third idea…

3.  Look for the good.  Find something you appreciate or like about them.  I know that’s a tall order when you’re not feeling very positive towards them and frankly just the fact that they are still taking up space in your universe grates on you like fingernails on a chalkboard, but I promise you — if you will do the exercise of finding just one thing to be thankful for or that you like/admire about them, it will help.

Some suggestions might be, I’m thankful she takes her job so seriously. Or, I’m thankful she follows through. Or, I really like how she is such a professional dresser or if you’re really desperate, I’m thankful she just left the room…JKLOL…as my 2nd grader says

Do you see how I’m suggesting you reframe your mind?  You can do this!  Even if you don’t feel like it now, by recognizing your emotions, figuring out what you are going to do with them, and then creating a positive feeling to close the experience, you are reframing the whole thing on your terms.  And that feels great!

I hope these 3 simple steps will help you to maneuver through the next time you find yourself in the middle of a muddle.

Question:  What are your coping techniques?  Have you tried any of these and how did they work for you?  I’d love to hear your feedback.  Just leave a comment below.

The post 3 Steps to Turn a Bad Interaction Better appeared first on Christy Largent.

That night at the dinner table as I was telling the story, I made sure to give full expression in the retelling.  Wanting my kids to have the full picture of what happened.

As I gave my response, my daughter brought me up short. “Oh, and did you give her that ugly face too?”

“What ugly face?”

“That ugly face you just did when you told the story.”

I was silent as the truth sunk in.  No wonder my colleague responded like she did.  My face and body had said such a different story than what I really meant to say.  It’s not her fault that we all believe more of what we see than what we hear.

Shamefacedly, I admitted the truth.  Yes, I probably had made that ugly face that morning during the conversation. Yikes!

When you think about effective communication, you might sometimes forget how important your facial expressions are.  Obviously, when you’re online, texting or tweeting, it’s not an issue.  But on the phone or especially in person, you want to make sure your face is giving the same message as your words.

Here are 3 ideas that might help you (and me) match our faces to our words.

Smile.  Obviously you can’t smile all the time, but whenever you are listening, it’s helpful for you to have a pleasant expression on your face.  For most of us, a slight, mouth closed smile gives that pleasant look that encourages conversation.  Also, it’s impossible to smile and frown at the same time.

Clear your forehead.  By this I mean, if you have 2 those vertical lines between your eyebrows, or lots and lots of forehead creases, take a moment when you are in the conversation, or even before, to consciously smooth your forehead.  For me, this means I smile (automatically decreases the center lines) and take a deep breath as I run my left hand across my forehead.

Use your eyes.  The eyes are such a great communication tool!  Have you noticed that when you’re really engaged in a conversation, you’re giving good eye contact.  Not staring, but just following the conversation with your eyes.  You look at the other person for a few seconds and then look briefly away.  And when you smile, your smile reaches your eyes.  I know because an engaged smile includes eyes crinkled at the corners.

So I’m hoping that we’ll remember these simple behaviors.  That way, we can be sure our face matches our message.

Question:  What kind of expressions do you find “pop out” when you least expect it?  What are your compensation strategies?  Please leave me a comment below.

The post 3 Ideas to Avoid Making The Ugly Face appeared first on Christy Largent.

Next week I’m going to clean out Amelia’s closet and room.  The poor thing is living with piles upon piles. I was inspired by Kathy Lipp’s new book, Clutter Free: Quick and Easy Steps to Simplifying Your Space.  I plan on writing a blog post about the book later this month, so I’ll let you know how the room project goes!

What I read this week:

Of all of these, I actually only recommend two.

Anne Lamott’s Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace. This collection of essays on faith, family and community are so beautifully written it often makes you cry. I do so love her writing. Despite our faith differences, I’m always pulled towards contemplation when I read her words. Beautiful.

I love a good mystery, so Margaret Maron’s Designated Daughters (A Deborah Knott Mystery) did not disappoint.  Entertaining and fast moving, I enjoyed this quick read.

The other books were either trite (Danielle Steel, what did I expect?!…can you say, Escape!), boring, The Book of Jonah, or too difficult to wade through.  I wanted to love Dallas Willards’ award winning last book, but it was so dense I couldn’t stick with it.  I hope I have better luck next week!  Here’s what that stack looks like.  By the way, can you tell I’m a huge advocate of our public library!

What I’m planning on reading next week:

Wellness Journey:  Well, I’ve successfully completed week 1!  I’m so happy!  Here’s how it’s going so far…

• So far the food has been pretty tasty and easy to prepare.  I like most of it.
• My favorite thing is that the week’s eating is all planned out and even prepackaged so it’s easy for me to get the food out the night before and have it ready to go in the morning.
• I’m drinking a lot and even writing down what I eat.   That’s a huge win for me because I generally tend to fight that kind of restriction.  But I keep telling myself this is just for 4 months (my goal!) and is a means to an end.
• No exercise but I did go to the chiropractor and also get a massage.  I liked that because it’s a way of taking care of myself.  On Thursday I stepped into a hole in the road while crossing the street to my kids’ piano lesson.  I really shocked my body…thus the trip to the chiro.  But I’m strong and I’m on the mend.  Next week I’ll add in some yoga and walking.  That should feel great!

I just don’t like cooking.  There, I said it.  The incredible amount of time (even with use of the crock pot) just drives me crazy!  Thanks to Sara Fragoso and Everyday Paleo, I now know how to cook, but I just don’t like it.  I guess I would like it more if that’s all I had to do…but with a messy home and kids to play with and books to read, for heaven’s sake!, I just don’t enjoy all the time I spend in the kitchen.  So, that’s just a little aside that’s neither here nor there, but I thought some of you might be freed to say the same thing by hearing me say it.  And some of you might have suggestions for how I could simplify so that I like it more.

Professionally:  This week was neat because I finally got my first podcast of the year posted, and have set up a new schedule…so that it will be released on Wednesdays from now on.  The frustrating thing is that for some reason my podcasts since December 1st are not showing up in iTunes…so I spent a ton of time trying to figure that out…and it’s still not fixed! Argh.

I also had a productive work session with my tech helper and the support team from Infusionsoft, the program I purchased for all my emailings and so forth.  It’s another steep learning curve, but I’m so excited to have it because it will allow me to offer all sorts of exciting products and programs directly to you in a professional and automized way.

Next week I have a few big things on my calendar.

• Saturday I’m speaking for a local non-profit, Homes of Hope for Vida, which is an organization that helps victims of domestic abuse with long term housing.  I’ll be working on that program this week.
• I’m also planning on finishing up all the edits of my book and starting on the recording.  My plan is to launch on Tuesday February 3rd, so stay tuned!
• I’m also working on learning more of that infusionsoft support program I mentioned earlier.  As I said, that’s a steep learning curve, so I’m trying to do a little bit every day.
• Add in a new podcast and 2 blog posts, a day trip to San Francisco to take my son to a Dr.’s appointment, filming for my TV-Show all morning Thursday and a field trip with my daughter’s class on Friday, and it’s going to be a very full week!  I hope yours will be fabulous too!

Question:  What are you working on?  What are you looking forward to?  I’d love to hear from you.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Weekend Update appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The magic bullet of Sleep
• Why you should just say NO!
• Power in Planning
• Focusing on Wellness not Weight
• Learning lessons from failures

Part 2 – My Wellness Journey

Website Links

Connie Clay Website

Dr. Daniel Amen and Amen Clinics

Recommended Resources

Connie’s Book – Quit Skinny!: 7 Simple, Sane Steps to Wellness

The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Get Thinner, Smarter, Happier, by Dr. Daniel Amen

Master Your Metabolism: The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body!, by Jillian Michaels

Jillian Michaels: Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism, Jillian Michaels DVD

And I’m adding this since we talked about saying “No” and it’s not easy! The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

And I’m also adding these – since these are helping me get to the emotional part of why I eat what I eat.
Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food, by Lysa TerKeurst

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 107:9  “For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.”

The post #038: Quit Skinny with Connie Clay and My Wellness Journey (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Timeless truths I embraced this year…

1.  You can do more than you realize.  When I review what I did during the past year, and all the new stuff I learned, I’m really encouraged.  Just because I’m not in school doesn’t mean I can’t still be learning and growing and this year proved it for me, and it is true for you too.

2.  Get help.  There are so many people who can help you – figure out what you need and then ask for help.  The right person will appear. The book by Amanda Palmer called, The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help is a great resource if you are ready to get inspired to ask in your own life.

Areas to get help:

• Personally – therapist for help with the inside
• Physically – trainer at the gym
• Professionally – help with technical aspects.  Mentor. Professional development via webinars and conferences.  What conferences will you go to next year?  What seminars will you attend.  Who do you want more of?  You are the combination of the 5 people you hang around the most.  Who are you inviting into your life?

3.  It’s never too late to go for your dreams.  Figuring out what you really want to do is actually fun.  Take the time to make yourself a rough sketch and then start.  Don’t wait for perfection.  Lots of people talk about being imperfect and how to manage your perfectionism…get whatever help you need to get started and then start.  Once you start, then the pieces will sort themselves out.  Michael Hyatt’s Best Year Ever will help you get started with your dreams and then help you get started!

Next year – here are the 2 things I’m going to remind myself of daily so I stay focused:

1.  Take care of myself first.  The biggest “fail” of the year was with my weight and health.  Wait, let me rephrase that.  The area where I had the least amount of progress — and maybe even experienced regress was in the area of my weight and health.

I did train for and complete a 1/2 marathon, but at a heavy weight and kind of with the least effort possible principle.  2015 is going to be different.  I’m putting this effort front and center.  I know all the other stuff will fall into place as I figure out this piece of my life.

2.  Do more of what I love.  When I was doing my goal setting I discovered that of all the things I enjoyed this past year, the best part was still what drove me to work in the first place.  Speaking and teaching still top the charts and make me happiest.  So,  I’m going to make sure and do more of that this next year.  All the other stuff will still be there – but as supporting rolls to help create more opportunity to do more of what I love.

More speaking.  More stories.  More entertaining.  More laughter.  More connecting.

2015 Word of the Year:    Routine 

I have 1 outstanding, terrific and fabulous routine.  Every night I wash my face utilizing a system.  I also floss and brush my teeth.  My morning average is about 95%, but the evening is 99.9999999999%.  And this is since 1984.  30 Years! Seriously, I cannot remember a single night I have gone to bed without washing my face and brushing my teeth.  Flossing is about 98.999999%.  My night-time rituals I don’t even think about.  They are so routine as to be a ritual.  No thinking —  I just do them.  30 years!

Here’s the deal.  If I can do it in one area of my life (my face) then I can do it in others.  So my word for the year is Routine.  I’ll learn to love it.  Learn to embrace it.  Learn to flourish in the midst of it.  That will be growth!

“Routine enables creativity to flourish.”

Encouraging Word for the Year:  Proverbs 16:9 (NIRV)  “In their hearts human beings plan their lives.  But the Lord decides where their steps will take them.”

Question:  What about you?  What did you learn this year?  What are you going to focus on next year?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please leave your comments below.

The post #037: Timeless Truths of 2014 and Focus for 2015 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• How to get started writing
• Ideas for finding connect in the midst of a dry spell
• How conferences and the global church can heal relationships
• The power of seasonal sabbath
• Using time blocks to create focus
• Making time for what energizes not depletes

Part 2 – Seasons, Community and Getting Energized

• Seasons of Life
• Building Community
• Energy to get Energized

Website Links

Denise Hughes website

Deeper Waters Community

Deeper Waters Retreat, June 26-28, 2015

Team 365

Denise’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain

My Utmost for His Highest: Quality Paperback Edition, by Oswald Chambers

The Pursuit of God, by A. W. Tozer

In This House, We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love, and Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life, by Courtney DeFeo

Favorite Quote:  “If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you can.  If you do not, someone will be the poorer all the days of his life.” Oswald Chambers

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 133:1  “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”

The post #036: Denise J. Hughes and Community (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Oh wait?  You don’t? You say you don’t feel like that, but that you feel overwhelmed. Discouraged. Stressed out.  Oh, good.  Me too.  You’re in the right place, so you’d better read on.

As I was considering what I could write that would be of value to you this weekend, I was reminded that the root of so much of our difficulties during the holidays (and all year long, actually) is nothing more than comparison in disguise.

Comparison.  I’m sure you’re aware of the obvious ways comparison sneaks in.  Fakebook err, Facebook being the easiest and most obvious example.  Instagram and even highly anticipated holiday letters can be added to the list.

It’s easy to recognize the way Facebook makes us compare isn’t it?  Your decorations/children/vacations/husband/job/home/car/jewelry are nothing like the perfect neighbor down the street or the blogger across the country are they?

But, have you ever thought of the most insidious ways comparison sneaks into your life?

Have you ever stopped to consider that every time you compare your current reality with the one that you wish you had, you are setting yourself up for dissatisfaction, discontent, discouragement and even depression.

Worst of all, comparison devalues what is.  A basic tenant of The Grace Advantage is to “Accept What Is”  You can’t do that when you are comparing.  Because when you compare, you always come out the loser.  You are the loser when you feel pride of how much better you are and you are the loser when you see how much “less than” your life is.

Ouch!  Comparison cuts deep even when it’s just with our own idealized ideas of who we or our family should be or could be or even worse, ought to be.

If you’re feeling defeated, here are 3 simple words that just might help.

1.  Gratitude.  Before you start running down the list of “lack” in your mind this morning, stop and give thanks.  Look around you.  Gather your family close and kiss their sweet cheeks and say thank you.  Thank God for a roof over your head (even if it’s leaking!)  Thank Him for your car.  Thank Him for money to buy gas.  Thank Him for the abundance that allows your jeans to get tighter.  Ahem.  Thank Him for the challenging job that takes every negotiating skill you have.  Get the picture?  Get thankful.

2.  Giving.  Give up and give out. Give up your schedule to snuggle close and watch your son play Angry Birds. Give up your plans for the afternoon to meet your husband for lunch.  Give up your expectations for perfection and enjoy the beauty of the imperfection of life.

Give out of your abundance and out of your lack.  Any cans in the pantry you could share with the mission this weekend?  Any books you could pass along to the library? Scheduling time to ring the Salvation Army bell with your kids in front of Target is given out of your lack of time isn’t it? Yet you can choose to do it.

Giving requires you stop the navel-gazing and take a look around.  Who needs what you have?  You do have to look at yourself – but through the prism of how what you have and more importantly, who you are, can benefit others.  You are who you are and with what you have because there is an impact you can make.  It’s not all about you!  (Reminding myself too!!)  It’s not all about you.  But all about others and the impact you can make in their life.  Get giving.

3.  Grace.  Undeserved favor.  Who can you bless with grace this week?  Who can you love and accept just as they are?  Right now!  Without fixing a single thing about them.  Without expecting anything in return.  Undeserved favor.  We all need it.  We all can live it.

When we are thankful, giving and full of grace, suddenly comparison shows up as the ugly impostor it really is.  The counterfeit sensations comparison imparts fade quickly in the face of authentic living.  Living out gratitude.  Living out Generosity.  Living out Grace.

Now let’s get going!  I’ll meet you at the mall.

Question:  How does comparison rob you of joy?  What do you do that works to help you stop comparing?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave a comment below.

The post 3 Words That Can Change Everything appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The positive and powerful results of allowing your work to flow from your passion, experiences and point of need
• What team parenting looks like
• Teaching kids responsibility
• The power of compartmentalizing
• Getting real about where you need help – and then getting it
• Why you should figure out how to surround yourself with people who can do what you can’t
• Giving yourself grace
• Finding peace through obedience

Part 2 – How to Recognize When Quitting is the Right Choice

• Take a good look at where you are
• Recognize that quitting IS an option
• Moving forward
• Using Goals as a measuring stick of what’s working…and what’s not working
• Videos to Your Best Year Ever program by Michael Hyatt

Website Links

Crystal Paine

• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Youtube
• Instagram

Ruth Soukup

• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Instagram

 Recommended Reading

Crystal Paine

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life, by Crystal Paine

Choose Gratitude: Blessings Journal, by Crystal Paine

Ruth Soukup

Living Well, Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life, by Ruth Soukup

How To Blog For Profit: Without Selling Your Soul, by Ruth Soukup

31 Days To A Clutter Free Life: One Month to Clear Your Home, Mind & Schedule, by Ruth Soukup

Finding your strengths….StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Question:  There were so many good ideas discussed – which was most impactful for you?  Have you ever had an experience where you quit…and felt good about it?  I’d love to hear your stories – just leave a comment below.

The post #035: Crystal Paine and Ruth Soukup – The Money Saving Mom and Living Well Spending Less Bloggers Share From Their Hearts appeared first on Christy Largent.

Their reaction surprised me at first, and then it made me laugh, and then it made me think.  As soon as I started talking about goals, I was interrupted by Balazs – one of my brighter students.  “Oh Miss Largent,” he said, “You Americans are so concerned with goals and New Year’s Resolutions.  Why are you so obsessed with these things?  You must be like the Hungarians and just let things happen.”

Join me today as I discuss the power of pursing goals well.  2014 has been one of my Best Years Ever and I credit it to Michael Hyatt and his 5 Days To Your Best Year Ever Program.  I did this last year, and it made a huge impact in my life.

And I’m not alone!  Last year there were over 3,000+ people who went through the program – and there are some amazing stories of people experiencing incredible transformations in their life.  You can see my own personal video testimonial by clicking  here.

I want you to know you can experience the same!

Some key ideas:

1.  Get crystal clear

2.  Write it down

3.  Get someone to come along side to help and encourage you…(register through my link and you can be a part of my private Facebook group, where we will work together, on our Best Year Ever encouraging each other all year.)

4.  Don’t delay!  Registration is only open for the a very short period of time. After that, Michael will close it down to focus on supporting the new class of people going through the program.  Early Bird Deadline! Dec 18th

I have a feeling you might be like I was in the summer of 2013.  Sick and tired of feeling stuck and not sure how to move yourself forward.  If you know deep down that you’re capable of more but you don’t know how to experience the kind of breakthrough you deserve, then go check this out:  I promise you will find 2015 really will  be your best year ever!

Resource Link:  Your Best Year Ever – be sure to click “I’m interested” and scroll down to see my own personal 5 minute story of how the program worked for me last year!

Encouraging Word of the Week: Proverbs 21:5 ESV  “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”

The post #034: Making 2015 Your Best Year Ever (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

How did I do?  From the list of goals above, here’s what happened:  I re-started my speaking business, completed my website, had regular blog posts (what you are reading now), my podcast is being downloaded all over the world, I ran the San Jose 1/2 marathon (instead of a Tough Mudder) and as we close out December, my book is ready to be published next week.  Not everything, but a huge percentage of my original list.

What’s interesting is that the list of completed goals is more complete this year than it has ever been in all my years of goal setting.  What happened that made such a difference?  Why was I able to accomplish so much this year when for so many years my goals were thwarted?

In thinking it through, I realized I did 2 things differently last December.  2 things you might want to do this December if you are looking for growth in your own life.  Here they are.

1.  I realigned with my passion and got extremely clear on what I wanted.  As you probably know, last year I pulled back from my Arbonne business and re-entered my speaking business.  My heart is here.  My passion is here.  And what a difference it has made.  When I look at my to-do list each morning, I actually enjoy most of what I have to do.  I look forward to each day’s individual activities, and am quite enthusiastic about all the possibilities.

Here’s my question for you – are you doing what you love?  Are you even clear on what you love?  If not, I recommend you dig deep and really figure out what you were put here on earth to do.  I have a program I did last year I’d be happy to send you if want help in figuring out your passion and purpose.  It has helped a lot of people and I think it would help you too.  Being aligned is critical because once you are, you can move easily into figuring out what you want.

2.  I took Michael Hyatt’s 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever course.  I know, you’ve probably taken a goal setting course or two in your lifetime.  I had too.  And frankly, when I saw the opportunity to add one more thing to my list I was a bit hesitant.  But then I watched his free videos and found real value.  So I went ahead and signed up for it.  It was clear, practical and action oriented.  I think my results speak volumes about the value of the course.

You might think – “Yes, but you could have done all you did without taking Michael’s course.”  And maybe you’re right.  But, the fact remains I did take his course and it really was my best year ever.

He has created a new and improved free video series that gives great value now, and also gives you a taste of the updated program.  He is also running a special this year if you sign up before December 18th.  I want you to take advantage of this program.  (Notice, these are affiliate links,  yes, I get a thank you payment from Michael if you sign up through my link.)  At the very least, watch these 3 free videos and let me know what you think.  Just click on any of these highlighted words, and you’ll go straight to the videos.

What have you got to lose?  Just think, 2015 really could be Your Best Year Ever!

And as a bonus…I’m so excited about what this could do in your life, I’m creating a Private Facebook group for everyone who purchases this program through my link.  We will get to encourage each other on throughout this next year as we go for our even bigger, hairy, audacious goals together!!  After all, I’ve still got 40 lbs to lose in 2015!  Just send me an email and let me know you purchased through my link and I’ll add you to the group.

Question:  What has held you back from accomplishing your goals in the past?  What are you going to do differently this year to make sure you set and meet your goals?  I’d love to hear your ideas!  Just leave a comment below.

The post I Hit My Goals and You Can Too! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The #1 lesson for a Mompreneur
• The positive effects of schedule and routine
• Why she uses a family calendar and how you can too
• How to use the “Sunday Summit” to streamline and supercharge your week
• Where to find a safe place for support

Part 2 – Set Yourself Up for a Successful Month

• Sleep Enough
• Plan, then Schedule
• Clear out the clutter
• Get busy and enjoy it all

Because I’m brave enough to show the real way I sometimes (frequently) live!  Oh, it’s painful to be honest!

Website Links

www.theresaceniccola.com

www.icmnetwork.com

www.typeaparent.com

Theresa’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, by Michael Hyatt

Connect with Theresa

Email:  theresa@theresaceniccola.com

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  “A Time for Everything”
“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

The post #033: Theresa Ceniccola – International Christian Mompreneur Network (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The Power of small decisions
• What to say when someone you love is making bad decisions
• To keep secrets….or not?
• How to move forward after a bad mistake

Part 2 – Moving through Messiness

• Honesty
• Forgiveness – Colossians 3:12-14
• Face down Fear

Website Links

www.JacqueWatkins.com

The Mud Stories Podcast

Jacque’s Resource Recommendations

www.momastery.com (Glennon Melton)

Jacque’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp

One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces, by Ann Voskamp

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14  “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

The post #032: Jacque Watkins – It’s a Messy Life (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

In light of the overload most of us constantly feel, I thought it would be helpful and refreshing for us to consider how we can be effective in telling people our thoughts and ideas in a way that’s “right the first time.”  So, here for your consideration are three suggestions to help you do just that.

1. Be respectful of the person.  The next time your employee suggests an idea you think is ridiculous – remember to focus your response on the idea, not the person.  As you are respectful of the person, get specific with your responses to the idea so they know you are skeptical of the idea, not them as an employee.
2. Get to the point.  Head right to the comment without padding it with extra words or fillers like um, and , ahh, so, like, etc.  The more you add needless words to what you are saying, the more likely you are to lose your listener and undermine your credibility.
3. Make suggestions for improvement instead of criticizing.  Many years ago I had a speaking coach who would intentionally sit in on my program and then make suggestions on how I could improve.  Her way of suggesting improvements was fabulous.  She used the “Like best” and “Next time” technique.  First, she would tell me what she liked best about the program.  Then she would say, “Christy, next time, instead of telling that joke at the beginning of the program, tell it at the end.”  By using the like best and next time method, I could hear what was working and what wasn’t working.  The bonus was that I did not get defensive at the criticism because I heard ways to improve…and that is what I really wanted all along anyway.

As we head into the holiday season, I know we’ll all have lots of opportunities to practice communicating with people who are really important to us.  I hope you can stick these 3 additional ideas into your communication toolbox and whip them out the next time you need to say it right the first time.

Question:  Which of these are most difficult for you to do?  Do you ever get stuck when you don’t know what to say so you say nothing?  Have you experienced someone else doing these things for you? How did it feel?  Please leave your comments below!

The post 3 Strategies to Say It Right The First Time appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:
Part 1:  Interview

• Effectively using your gifts
• How amazing stuff can happen when you wait on God’s timing
• How to give up what’s not working
• The importance of seeking wise counsel
• Forgiveness
• A strategy to stop comparing
• The power of a great Mission Statement

Part 2: How to create Your Own Mission Statement

“Find out what your lane is”, Courtney DeFeo

1.  Ask – What are my passions and areas of natural giftedness?  

• What is my special passion?
• What do I do better than anyone else?  (Where do my gifts and talents line up?)
• How do I do this?  What does it look like?
• What am I creating/designing/building?
• What is the result I’m looking for?
• What keeps me up at night?

2.  Answer – What are we about?  What am I about?

3.  Application – Write it down, memorize it and use this as a filter for making decisions about opportunities as well as staying focused

Courtney’s Website links and favorite Podcasts:
courtneydefeo.com
Catalyst
Andy Stanley
Louie Giglio

Courtney’s Recommended Reading and Resources:
In This House, We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love, and Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life, by Courtney DeFeo

Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child’s Heart with God’s Extravagant Grace, by Jeannie Cunnion

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

**Watch for her darling “Conversation Cups” to be available January 2015**

Encouraging Word of the Week:  “God has already woven in you a beautiful story.” Courtney DeFeo
Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Question:  What part of this interview spoke to you the most?  What idea did you really connect with?  Do you want Courtney’s new book?  Just leave your favorite parts of this interview below and on Friday, November 14, 2014, I’ll pick one winner from all the commenters.

The post #029: Courtney DeFeo – A House that Giggles and Mission Statements (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

And I guess there’s really nothing like a drama with a loved one to remind you why we’re doing all this communication stuff in the first place.

I can give you all kinds of tips and techniques on how to be a more effective communicator. But the bottom line reason we learn and do all this is so we can love each other better. Right?  We want to learn how to act and speak and express ourselves in the best way so that the people in our lives feel loved.

Does that make sense to you?  Who in your life do you wish knew how much you loved them?  Do you communicate that love? What’s getting in the way of your truth? This morning I’m drawn to think of this…and here are the 2 main questions I’m asking myself.

1.  Is my style getting in the way of my message?  Yesterday I spoke about being a passive, aggressive or assertive communicator.  That message was straight from my heart.  You see,  I am really strong.  I come across as strong. I have to work hard to dial down from aggressive to assertive, and sometimes even assertive is too much.  And sometimes that ‘natural style’ is getting in the way of my message.

When I’m trying to talk with Amelia or Tom about something that I’m passionate about, (almost everything) I think I get too wound up and my words, tone, body all end up sending messages that actually shut them down.  Do you have that challenge?  Or do you go the other way, and you shut down when you get passionate?  I think both of these can be a challenge.  I have to remember, it’s not all about me…it’s about communicating well.  Because I LOVE THEM.

2.  Do I find ways to communicate love even when I’m stressed and busy and overwhelmed?  When I think of all the times I’ve thought of my telling my mother something and not texted her, or bragged about my sister and not called her, or even been angry with my dad and talked about him instead of talking with him, it makes my heart sad.  I’m supposed to be teaching this stuff!  Instead, I so often fail in the execution of the communication.

How about you?  Would it help your relationships if you were more intentional communicating your love to those in your life?  I want to take each opportunity to communicate love and not put it off until later.  Because, as I’m being so forcibly reminded today, there’s no guarantee of tomorrow, and I want to rest assured I’m communicating my love the best possible way every day.

So for now, thanks for following along this month as I’ve posted every day.  Whew.  31 Blog Posts in 31 days.  Definitely a new record for me.  I’ve learned some things along the way, so there will probably be a post about that in the future. (Not tomorrow!!)  I want you to know I appreciate each of you and how you have commented and encouraged me.  It’s meant more than you will ever know.  So here’s our take-away.  Let’s commit together to using powerful  communication to create positive relationships so that we can live purposeful lives.  I think we’ll all be glad we did.

This is Day 31 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Does today’s discussion ring true with you?  Which post, of the past 31 days was your favorite?  Why?  Please leave your thoughts below.

The post Day 31 – Why Are We Working At This Stuff Anyway? (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

So as I celebrated my birthday just this past Monday, I thought it would be appropriate to do an analysis of what went as planned and what didn’t and what was per expectations and what was way over expectations.  Well, I guess you get the idea.

Following are the top 5 lessons I learned in this past year.  Maybe these will help you too as you navigate this life of constant change.

Lesson #1:  Everything will take much longer than you anticipate.

Lesson #2:  The learning curve will be steeper than you imagined.

Lesson #3:  You can’t do everything at once.

Lesson #4:  You will get discouraged.

Lesson #5:  You will succeed if you stay consistent with effort over time.

Favorite Books of the Year:

Fiction:
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie: A Flavia de Luce Mystery, by Alan C. Bradley

Letters from Skye: A Novel, by Jessica Brockmole

Still Life (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache Mysteries, No. 1), by Louise Penny

Nutrition/Health/Faith:
Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth about Wheat, Carbs, and Sugar–Your Brain’s Silent Killers, by Dr. David Perlmutter

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner

The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living, by Nick Ortner

What Happens When Women Pray, by Evelyn Christenson

Business:
The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months, by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, by Michael Hyatt

The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition, by Strunk and White

Encouraging Word of the Week:
Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.”
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

The post #028: Christy Largent – 5 Big Lessons from a Year of Change (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Passive Communicator – “A reluctance and/or inability to confidently express what you think and feel.”

This person is quiet, shy and rarely says what they really think or feel.  They will keep their thoughts to themselves, often taken extreme amounts of time to think about what they will say before they say it.  They expect you to read their minds since they have limited body language and facial expressions.

My favorite story about passive communicators happened when I was speaking in Minot, North Dakota.  I had a group of 40 women in my “Powerful Communication Skills for Women” class.  The majority of them were of Scandinavian descent. (Internal processors and typically passive communicators.)  Throughout the day, I was getting basically no visible response from them.  I would say something funny and they would crack a slight smile or nod their heads.  As someone who gets their energy from other people, all day long I was giving myself pep talks, reminding myself that they were engaging on the inside, even if I couldn’t see much of a spark on the outside.  At the end of the day I was shaking hands at the door saying goodbye.  One after another of the women told me how much they loved the class.  One woman generously proclaimed, “This was the best class I’ve ever attended.”  “Oh, thank you,” I replied. “Yes,” she continued, “My favorite part was how you got us all so involved!”  Inside my head, I was screaming, “When? I missed it!”

That’s a funny story, but it illustrates the difficulty others can have with passive communicators.  Because passive communicators tend to keep everything inside, others can be at a loss to know their real feelings.  They are also very good at using passive aggressive manipulation to get what they want.  (I think passive-aggressive behavior is a post for another day.)

Aggressive Communicator – “Intimidates, demeans and degrades another person – behavior that results in a put-down, causing defensiveness and hurt.”

You’ve meet these aggressive communicators.  They are intent on getting their way and letting you know it.  The classic aggressive communicator can be found on the school yard – we call him a bully.  Or maybe she’s the one in your daughter’s peer group who is the dominate force.  She tells all the other girls what they should do and how they should do it.   An out of control aggressor uses their threat of anger to manipulate those around her.

The Aggressive Communicator uses their body language with their hands on their hips, their fingers pointing at you (while they shake their hand) and the scowl on their face to get their messages across.

Assertive Communicator:  “Confidently express what you think, feel and believe.  Standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others.”  

You love these people.  They know what they want and they share it assertively.  When you finish a conversation with this assertive person, you feel great!  Encouraged and energized because you have been on the receiving end of healthy, life-affirming communication.

So, which kind of communicator are you?  By nature, most of us fall into either passive or aggressive.  Most of us have to learn how to be an assertive communicator.  It helps if your family of origin used good, healthy communication.  But even if they were too far on either end, you can learn to communicate assertively.

This month of October I’ve given you 30 specific ideas on how to be most effective with assertive communication.  I hope you will take these ideas and move yourself into the assertive category.  Your friends, family and co-workers will thank you and you’ll be empowered knowing you can use these tools to create a life of strong, active and relationship building communication.

This is Day 30 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which category do you fall into?  What challenges have you experienced with your own natural style?  How have you worked around your style to get better results?  I’d love to hear your stories and comments.  Please comment below.

The post Day 30 – Your Communication Style (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Choose Generosity.  J. Paul Getty was known for being the richest man in the world.  He was also known as one of the most stingy…even refusing to pay ransom when a grandson got kidnapped!  By the time he died in 1976 he had alienated all his children as well as his five former wives.  Contrast that with Dave Thomas of Wendy’s fame.  He was known for being generous of spirit with himself as well as his money.  Over his lifetime he gave away millions of dollars, as well as hours and hours of his time and passion in his interest of helping others.  He said, “Share your success and help others succeed.  Give everyone a piece of the pie.  If the pie’s not big enough, make a bigger pie.”  Which person would you like to model yourself after?  You get to choose.  Choose generosity.

Value People.  Think of what you love.  Your home, car, boat, jewelry.  I’ll bet you spend time and money maintaining these items.  What about the people you value?  Why is it so easy to pursue the things we love instead of the people we love?  (I actually think the answer to that is a whole different blog post!)  Find ways to value people.  The best and simplest is to listen to them.  Spend time with them.  Help them feel heard.  I was listening to a podcast recently and the speaker challenged us to “add energy” in our every encounter.  When you leave someone, is their energy higher or lower?  You can be an energy giver or taker.  You get to choose.  Choose — every day in every way I will add value to others.

Do It Every Day.  “Do all the good you can, to all the people you can, in all the ways you can as long as you can.”  D.L. Moody.  Don’t wait for your income or circumstances to change – just begin!  Science is now showing how our behavior impacts our mind.  Living generously will make us generous people.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “what are we doing for others?”  Choose to act every day.

My friend Amy Sullivan, has written a wonderful book to help you teach generosity to yourself and your kids.  You can find it here.  The title, When More is Not Enough – How to Stop Giving Your Kids What They Want and Give Them What They Need really says it all. Tons of creative ideas are found here. Additionally, my friend Courtney DeFeo has a terrific program she created called “Light ‘Em Up”. Check it out here.  Designed to be done with your kids, it’s a great way to teach by doing.  Oh, and it’s fun!

In closing, let me leave you with a thought from Ann Voskamp, “When someone stops doing nothing, and just starts doing something, this is what starts to change everything.”  Today is your day.  Start.

This is Day 29 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Is it difficult for you to be generous?  How do you motivate yourself to choose generosity?

The post Day 29 – Live Generously (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When Receiving Feedback:

Ask for clarification.  What’s your response when your boss says, “You don’t seem to care much bout your job these days.” Do you get defensive and react or do you take a deep breath and ask for clarification like this…”What am I doing that gives you that impression?”  Asking for clarification is a good way to slow down the conversation and get it headed in a more productive direction.

Ask for specifics.  When your coworkers says, “You’re really trying to get on the bosses good side,” rather than reacting with a sarcastic or cutting response, just turn it around and ask, “Oh, what makes you say that?”  You’ll shut her negativity down without engaging in any of your own.

Respond don’t react.  Sometimes people give us feedback that we weren’t expecting.  When you give yourself space to respond, you’re setting yourself up for success.  A sentence like “I’d like to think about what you just said and get back with you about it later this afternoon,” is perfectly acceptable and preferable to an angry reaction.  You dictate how you will engage with someone.  Don’t give your power away to them.

Expect the positive.  One time I was speaking to a group of trucking executives in Montana.  Throughout the day I noticed one man in the front row who seemed to visibly disagree with everything I said.  During one interactive time, I asked, “What is it? You obviously don’t agree with me.”  “Oh no!” he exclaimed, “I was just thinking how much I agree with you and that you were hitting on everything that was going wrong with my company.  I’ve been thinking of all the ways I could fix the problems.”  Oh my.  I had completely mis-read his body language and because I had been expecting the worst (based on what I saw) I was expecting a negative response.  What a great lesson.  Look for, and expect the best.  Most of the time, it’s out there, just waiting for you to discover it.

Give grace.  Sometimes people spout off without thinking, giving you feedback that should have much more prudently gone unspoken.  If that happens to you, I’d encourage you to just skip it and forget it.  Life is too short to nurse grudges against people who have said ugly things to you.  Just this morning I had to give myself this very advice as one of my clients spoke extremely rudely and aggressively to me.  My feelings were hurt.  And then I remembered that I could give him grace and just let it go.  All of us have some days that are better than others.  By giving grace you allow others the freedom for a not-so-perfect day…and who knows, maybe next time you’ll be the one on the receiving end of the grace-giving.

This is Day 28 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question: How are you at accepting feedback?  Is it easy for you or do you, (like I), get defensive? And can you share a story when you received grace from someone?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 28 – How to Say It — Receiving Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Communicating what you really think or feel is part of everyday life.  Doing it with finesse and tact is a skill you can learn to master. Giving and receiving feedback is an especially important art of communication.  Today we will talk about giving feedback and tomorrow about receiving feedback.

When you are Giving Feedback:

Be Specific:  When someone is having difficulty with getting their work turned in on time, say, “I’ve noticed that in February, March and April your reports were turned in two days late each month.”  Not, “So, looks like you’re really busy these days.”  The first was specific about the real issue, while the second left the listener wondering what you’re really saying.

Avoid Assumptions:  When you make an assumption like, “I know you probably don’t like discussing this issue, but…” it puts people on the defensive.  When we assume, we’re taking upon ourselves the projected thoughts of another.  Many times we’re way off base! Who really knows the mind of another?  Instead, say, ‘I would like to discuss our report schedule.  Do you have time now or later in the afternoon?”  This gets the conversation going on an even, unbiased note.

Avoid Generalities:  The minute you say, “Everyone knows you’re always late to meetings,” not only does the person become defensive, but you’ve set yourself up to be disagreed with from the beginning of the conversation.  After all, who among us is “always” or “never” anything?  Keep yourself focused on solutions by being specific and targeted in your discussion.

Focus on the Problem, not the Person:  Our tendency is to personalize issues.  When I complain about Betty being selfish and uncommitted to the team because she’s always late coming back from her breaks – I’m not only making an assumption and generalization, I’m also targeting Betty with my words, not focusing on her behavior.  When I focus on the problem – that is that other team members can’t take their breaks when Betty is late returning from her break – the focus keeps me from getting personal and/or attacking Betty.  This helps the conversation stay in productive territory.  Remember, when I target the behavior, then I can ask for that behavior to change for the better.

So, the next time you have to give feedback, I hope you remember these suggestions so that your conversation is productive, encouraging and keeping you on the path of creating positive connections and helping you be purposeful in living.

This is Day 27 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you ever have trouble staying specific and focusing on the problem, not the person?  Do you find it easy to get personal?  I’d love to hear your stories, just comment below.

The post Day 27 – How to Say It…Giving Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Yet when I think over what makes a life truly well lived, I realize it all boils down to how well we get along, engage with and yes, even love our family and friends.  Therefore, following is an acrostic with my suggestions for how to really communicate LOVE.

Laughter:  Giggle, chuckle, guffaw…laugh until you cry!  Tell funny stories from your past; remembering how Great Aunt Georgina “fell asleep” in the mashed potatoes when you were just 6-years-old, is fun for everyone (except Great Aunt Georgina of course!).  Pull out old photo albums and laugh at how dorky you looked in 7th grade. Watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles, that’s a movie guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.  Families and friends who laugh together…have fun!  Laughter is the best medicine and does your heart good.  (Trite but true.) And of course, remember that when the dog rolls in the newly planted flower bed, your daughter spills honey all over your freshly cleaned floors and you sew the costume inside out and backwards 1 hour before the party starts, these incidents will be fodder for family laughs for years to come.  Laughing together communicates love.

Other Focus:  A wise teacher told me long ago that true Joy comes when you put others before yourself.  I would encourage you to try this.  Let go of focusing on what you want and re-focus on what others need.  When I focus on me, me, me, I become discontent, disappointed and depressed.  Comparing my insides to some else’s outsides just makes it worse.  But when I let go of myself, focus  on others and how I can impact them in a positive way, my whole paradigm shifts!  Focusing on others communicates love.

(I must include a whole paragraph of warning to the ‘O’ suggestion.  Oftentimes I see mothers get so wrapped up in their kid’s and husband’s needs they ignore their own.  Please don’t do this!  What I’m suggesting is a healthy balance.  Focus not only on your family and not only on yourself…but a balance.  Make sure each day has a little of both.  In the mother’s life, it’s a tricky balance of both isn’t it?  Please remember that sometimes serving yourself is the best way to serve others.)

Vorgiveness…err…Forgiveness: Please let go of that baggage that’s holding you back.  Your anger and resentment are only hurting yourself.  In the words Frozen made famous…Let it Go!  There is a scene in the movie “The Piano” where Holly Hunter is being pulled to a watery grave by tangled ties holding her to a piano plummeting to the bottom of the ocean.  It isn’t until she decides to break free (let go) of the heavy ropes and unburden herself from the weight of the piano that she is able to kick her way up through the water to the life-giving air at the surface.  The next time you are tempted to hold on to that resentment, I urge you to let go instead and communicate love.

Expect the Best:  What you are looking for is looking for you.  We have a joke in my family that I get all the green lights and my husband gets all the red lights.  I’m sure, it’s statistically the same, but our perception of who gets what is definitely affected by our outlook.  I celebrate my (expected) greens while my husband suffers through his (expected) reds.  I wonder which you would rather experience?  When you expect fighting, animosity and negativity, that’s exactly what you will find.  Expect the best and you will communicate love.

This is Day 26 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Questions:  So how about it?  Today can you communicate L.O.V.E. by implementing some of these ideas?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Day 26 – Communicating L.O.V.E. (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Tiger Woods was once asked by a fan to demonstrate how to hit the ball out of a sand trap.  Tiger refused, saying he never practiced the wrong shot – only the right ones.  I am often asked how to get good at public speaking.  My answer is always “Practice the right shot.”  And the right shot for speakers and communicators is Toastmasters.

Let me give you some background on this amazing organization and then share with you how to connect with a local club.  Toastmasters began in California in 1924.  Today it is an international non-profit organization boasting over 313,000 members in more than 14,650 clubs located in 126 countries.  The one commonality of members is that each is committed to becoming a more effective communicator.  The Toastmaster organization supports this common goal by providing a venue for members to hone their communication and leadership skills.

My own experience with Toastmasters was so positive I became a life-long advocate.  Never have I been involved in a group as uplifting and positive towards each other.  Good communication is not just about talking, it’s about learning how to actively listen, respond and how to give good, productive feedback.  By participating in the weekly meetings, you will learn how to do all of this and more.

My favorite story is about “Larry.”  My first visit to our local club was about week 3 for him.  A part of each club meeting is a section called “Table Topics” when attendees are asked to stand up and speak impromptu for 60 seconds on a given topic.  Poor Larry was so scared and nervous and freaked out when it was his turn, he stood, hands glued tightly to the back of the chair, chin tucked firmly upon his chest and whispered, stumbling and stuttering through his speech topping out at about 45 seconds of torture.  I hurt for him!

Fast forward 12 months.  This time when Table Topics was called,  Larry stood confidently.  He looked around the room as he spoke.  He used humor.  He used voice inflection.  His impromptu speech sounded like it had been planned and fine tuned for weeks.  He not only nailed that activity, but he won the weekly award for best Table Topic!  Talk about a turn around!  That’s what Toastmasters does for you.

That’s why, if you are serious about becoming a Master Communicator you need to get yourself to local Toastmasters club, join, and start reaping the benefits of this connection.  On a side note…each club has it’s own “flavor.”  So if you don’t feel comfortable at the first club you visit, find another and go visit it.  Even the smallest of communities usually have several clubs to choose from, so you’re sure to find one that’s a fit for you.  Here’s a link to help you find a local club.

This is Day 25 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Have you ever visited a Toastmasters club? What was your experience? What other way to practice has been helpful for you? I’d love to hear your stories! Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 25 – Becoming A Master Communicator (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  Your tone, facial expressions, and body language all play a huge part in your communication (93% to be exact.)  You may say, “Yes honey, I’d love to go to your office party with you.” but your mate knows you’re not telling the truth because your rolling eyes, crossed arms and sarcastic tone scream, “Of course I don’t want to go be with all your stupid co-workers for my one precious evening home this week!”  Just be honest and match your non-verbal to your words for positive, effective communication.

Actions speak louder than words.  If your manager asks you to do a project, and you say “Sure, I’ll do it,” but somehow you never get around to actually doing it…be careful.  Your actions (not doing the work) are speaking much louder than your words.  You may think you’re just keeping the peace and avoiding conflict, but be sure your actions will be the ultimate test in the end.  Make sure your words and actions match.

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  Saying ugly, negative things about people or situations does nobody any good, it just makes those around you uncomfortable.  Make sure when you add a comment or idea that it is positive.  A nice comment that benefits others. I loved being around my mother-in-law Shirley.  She was consistently positive and in fact, at her memorial service, more than one person agreed with me that we never heard her say a negative word about anybody.  Now that’s a testimony!  I can only strive to be more like her.

Only give advice when asked.  I’ve covered this extensively on Day 11 and Day 12 when I talked about giving unsolicited advice.  If you need a refresher be sure to read those.  But I wanted to remind you in this list how important it is to keep your opinions to yourself if you want to build relationships and not walls.  I know it’s tempting to tell your 15-year-old nephew that his permed, green, mop of hair is unattractive, but believe me, unless he asks for your input, he doesn’t care what you think, and if you mention it, you will only succeed in building a barrier between the two of you.  You never know when he will want someone to help him get it cut and re-dyed a nice red or something – and if you have built a wall instead of a relationship, you’ll miss out.  No unsolicited advice!

Enjoy every moment as you build relationships remembering this handy list of ideas.  And be sure to thank your Mother for her wisdom as well.

This is Day 24 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these suggestions do you consistently follow?  Which is the hardest for you to follow? I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 24 – Mama Knows Best (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Like – Are you a likable person?  What is that intangible that makes you like someone else?  I think it’s the magic of interest in others.  When you are around someone who is genuinely interested in you, you can’t help liking them.  Their focus on you makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you’re more likely to overlook minor irritants and like them back.

When I think of the people I really like, and want to know more, they are invariably people who are actually interested in me.  And how do I know that?  They ask questions.  They listen when I answer them.  They remember things about me and what is important to me.  How are you doing?  When was the last time you became more likable by asking thoughtful, interested questions?  Why not start today?

Trust –  Are you trustworthy?  Do people know they can count on you no matter what?  Trust is hard to build and very easy to lose.  I know some people are slower to build trust than others, but the hard, cold fact is that nobody will take you seriously unless they can trust you.  They need to know you will be ethical and do what you say you will do.  Ouch.

My guess is most of us could improve in this area.  Circumstances affect our behavior and sometimes we don’t follow-through, or we allow ourselves to move in the shade of gray…hmmm.  When others trust you, they have the gold standard to count on – and you have the privilege of being heard authentically when you communicate.

Know, Like, Trust.  Three cornerstones for effective communication you can begin working on right now.  If you are serious about building positive connections and living a purposeful life, you will want to think about and start putting into practice the skills of being known, likable and trustworthy.

Another excellent resource if you are struggling with this idea, is the book Little Black Book of Connections: 6.5 Assets for Networking Your Way to Rich Relationships by Jeffrey Gotomer. I love this book! It’s fun and easy to read and most importantly, it’s full of practical, actionable things you can do immediately to build connections.  I think you’ll like it too if you’re looking for more help in this area.  Can’t wait to hear your results!

This is Day 23 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  What do the people you know, like and trust have in common?  Can you name what element about them allows and encourages you to be in relationship with them?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 23 – Know, Like and Trust Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Know – How do you get to know others and get them to know you?  The simplest answer is to be friendly.  When you’re in a new place, stick out your hand to someone you don’t know, smile and say, “Hi, I’m (fill in your name).  This simple gesture opens the door to conversation, and soon you’ll have a new connection.  My college friend, George, reminds me that the very first time he ever met me was in our Speech 101 class when we were both 19.  What he noticed was that I was “working the room”, sticking out my hand, smiling and saying, “Hi, I’m Christy,” as I met all my new “friends.”  Years later, he came to one of my day-long seminars and he just started laughing.  “Christy,” he chuckled, you’re still working the room.”  I smiled at him and said, “Yes, and still meeting lots of new friends!”

At work, everyone already knows you, but hat doesn’t mean you should stop being friendly.  I’e been in workplaces where the employees don’t even acknowledge each other.  There’s no eye contact and rarely a smile.  Needless to say, because they engage with each other solely when required, there’s minimal relationship building and what’s left is a building of strangers who work together only when absolutely required.  I contend, if they were to take some time to get to know each other, their communication and their lives would  be enriched in ways unimagined.

Oftentimes, people tell me they don’t know what to talk about.  So I’m going to recommend a favorite book that will help you with this challenge. It’s a classic and was originally published in 1936!  But like all classics, it’s as fresh today as if it were written yesterday.  It’s called How to Win Friends & Influence People and I’m sure you know it’s author, Dale Carnegie.  You may have heard that this book is full of tricky techniques to manipulate others into relationship with you.  But I found just the opposite.  Instead, it’s all about how YOU can be a true friend to others.  The magical outcome is that when you’re a friend to others, others become your friend as well.  I highly recommend this book!

Tomorrow we’ll talk about the other 2 parts of this discussion – how to build relationship so that people like and trust you.  Until then, don’t forget to be friendly!

This is Day 22 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you find it easy to be friendly, or do you have to work at this?  What tips have you tried that makes it easier to stick out your hand and smile?  I’d love to hear your stories below!

The post Day 22 – Know, Like and Trust Part 1 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember the magic words

• “Please”
• “Thank you”
• “You’re Welcome”
• When someone sneezes – offer “Bless You,” and then pass them a tissue
• When you pass someone in the hallway, say “excuse me”

These simple kindnesses will sweeten things up in no time.

Respond to voice mails and emails in a timely manner

I was listening to old voice mails earlier tho sweet and almost had a heart attack when I heard a message left 6 weeks ago – to which I had failed to respond! Arghhhh!!!  Have you noticed how easy it is to be rude in this technological world?  Let’s all be polite and respond promptly.  If you have forgotten to respond, pick up the phone and call the person immediately to rectify as best as you can.  Using Facebook, twitter, email, text messaging and cell phones properly can help you stay connected and communicating.  Be sure to use them thoughtfully.

Send notes in the mail

Thank you notes.  Congratulation notes. Thinking of You notes.  These all work really well.  My second job out of college (after leaving Capitol Hill) was as a Realtor.  (Of course, one listing and one sale in one year does not a realtor make – I waited tables to pay my bills.) But one lasting lesson I learned during that time was from my manager.  He suggested I get in the habit of looking for articles of interest to my clients – then clip them and send them on with a little note.  I did implement this idea, and have continued it to this day.

I do love it when I receive a little note – don’t you?  This week, you can be the one to brighten someone’s day with a well written note.

Lose the Profanity

When I was doing Improv Comedy, I quickly learned that getting fast and easy laughs with off-color language and innuendo was never the better choice.  It wasn’t the potty humor that lasted, instead it was the richer, more difficult comedy combinations that left the audience sated and replete from deep, tummy busting laughter.  Elevate your environment by eliminating the profanity and using better language.

So, put Mama’s words into action.  I’ll look forward to hearing about your sweetened environments.

This is Day 21 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  What’s your favorite “honey” to use?  When have you experienced the “honey” of others and how has it affected you?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 21 – Pass the Honey Please (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It was while working at an alternative school, she completed her Master’s degree in special education at Lynchburg College and a doctorate degree in Educational Leadership at the University of Virginia.  She has built Liberty University’s education program to include over 1000 students in the special education program.  Additionally, she has developed a love of sharing what God has laid on her heart over the years as a follower of Christ, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and educator.  We are the benefactors of that love today.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Moving through disappointing times
• The power of remembering
• Trust and Obey
• Flexibility and the importance of keeping a calendar
• How to handle negative feedback

Part 2: Dealing with Disappointments

• Remember the past – Wes King song, Remember
• Float instead of fight
• Have confidence in your creator
• Look to the future with Hope

Website links:

www.womenoffaith.com  This is a link to all of Beth’s blog posts for Women of Faith

www.liberty.edu  This is a link to the list of Beth’s blog posts for Liberty University

Beth’s Recommended Reading:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, by Stephen R. Covey

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry by Ruth Haley Barton

Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist

Contact Beth:

Facebook:  Beth Ackerman

Encouraging Words of the Week:  

Isaiah 12:2   “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  What has been your biggest disappointment and what have you done to move through them?   I’d love to hear your stories, just leave a comment below.

The post #027: Beth Ackerman and Disappointments (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Consider these two requests you might hear from a coworker; “Debbie, I know you’re really, really busy and have a lot on your plate, but if it’s not too much trouble, and if you could maybe find the time, I could really use your help with this project if you think you might, maybe, be able to squeeze it into your crazy busy schedule.”  Alternatively; “Debbie, do you have 5 minutes? I would appreciate your input on this project.”  Which request would you be most inclined to answer in the affirmative?  Obviously, the second.  It’s to the point, respectful and clear.

Many times, people think they are just being “nice” when they are actually unnecessarily using padded words and phrases that irritate, annoy and reduce the impact of their comment or request.  Padded word and phrases have their appropriate uses – ask anyone married more than a year and they will agree to that – but in the workplace and as a communication rule – you will sabotage yourself if you routinely pad your words.  You will be perceived as being insecure, indecisive and interestingly enough, even as a manipulator.

So, how do you stop padding?  First, you want to edit your comments.  If the word or phrase doesn’t add value, omit it.  Secondly, make sure you’re choosing the most accurate words to convey your message.  I suggest you even consider using power words and phrases.  Consider the following lists of phrases and make note of those that seem familiar…

Words to lose:

• “If it’s not too much trouble…”
• “I know you’re really busy, but…”
• “I really hate to bother you, but…”
• “You probably don’t know the answer to this, but…”
• “I’m only the assistant, but I think…”
• “I know I’m the new person here, but…”
• “This is probably the wrong answer, but…”
• “It’s only my opinion, but…”

Words to use:  Power Phrases

• “I would like you to…”
• “Please finish this by…”
• “It would help me if you would…”
• “I suggest we…”
• “My experience has shown…”
• “Past practice indicates…”
• “The research points towards…”

And I’m sure you can add many more.  Now that you’re aware of the negative impact of padded words and phrases, I challenge you to be proactive in adding power phrases to your vocabulary.  You’ll be happy to watch your communication quotient soar.

This is Day 20 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which padded words do you find yourself using?  What can you use that will be more effective?  I’d love to hear your answers – just comment below.

The post Day 20 – Power Phrases (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This is Day 19 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

The post Day 19 – Shine (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I gave you an example of a dialogue with Tara yesterday.  Today I’m going to give you a fresh dialogue along with some guidelines to follow when having that difficult conversation.

1.  Be honest with yourself.  When someone is difficult, check in with yourself and ask, what is the real issue here?  For example, if Mary made a sarcastic comment in front of your team about the way you’re handling this month’s project, your first reaction might be anger.  But when you check in and are really honest, you’ll recognize that it was embarrassment and awkwardness you were experiencing in the moment.  Additionally, when you were “put down” in front of your team, you could be worried it could potentially minimize your authority as well.

2.  Be willing to be authentically transparent.  Tell Mary the way her behavior affected you.  You don’t have to go into a huge long explanation here – and be careful NOT to insert judgements or generalities here.  Don’t say – “Mary, you were a real jerk when you made that nasty comment about my work in front of my team this morning.”  That’s NOT what we’re looking for!  Instead, say “Mary, when you criticized my work in front of my team this morning I was really uncomfortable.”

3.  Tell her what you want her to do.  Sometimes I’ll hear people tell the difficult person they didn’t appreciate the difficult behavior and then stop the conversation.  Frankly, that does no good at all because most difficult people don’t even get that their behavior is a problem!  You must be specific and tell them what you want them to do.  “Mary, in the future, when you have feedback on my work, I would appreciate it if you would tell me privately.”  Short, specific and without judgements should do the trick.

This conversation may seem hard to do. But rest assured if you do not confront the difficult behavior it will continue.  Remember, that which is rewarded is repeated.  When you ignore their behavior it’s a way of rewarding their behavior.  Be sure to draw your own firm assertive lines so you don’t let the difficult people get the best of you.

I hope this mini-series on difficult people has been helpful.  I’ve enjoyed reminding myself of what works when I get confronted with behavior that’s upsetting to me.  I hope you will incorporate these ideas along with me, and let’s see our relationships blossom!

This is Day 18 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these suggestions have been most helpful to you?  Which can you implement? I’d love to hear your feedback.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Day 18 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 3 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

In answer to my opening question, “Why are you here today?” an older man in the back row raised his hand.  As I called on “Bud”, I took a quick inventory.  I noticed the deeply etched lines of discontent framing his down-turned mouth.  His oversized hands were rough and callused and the wrinkles in his khaki work shirt mirrored those scored across his timeworn face.  As he stood, he placed his hands on his hips, thrust out his chest and loudly proclaimed, “Well, I’m the difficult person, and I’m here today to find out what you’re teaching, so when the people I work with try it on me, it won’t work!”  Hmmm….at least he was honest!

Does “Bud” sound familiar to you?  Difficult People.  Over the next few days I’m going to give you some suggestions for dealing effectively with them.  I’m going to help you bring out the best in  yourself first, then them, and even help you diffuse difficult interactions no matter who’s at fault.  Let’s get started with a few questions.

When you encounter a difficult situation with a difficult person, ask:

1.  Will this matter 5 years from now?  How often have you reacted to something in the moment only to realize later that it really didn’t matter in the big scheme of things?  Yet your reaction left disrupted relationships and hurt feelings.  Before you react, stop.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself this perspective reminding question.

2.  Who is getting the power here?  Sometimes, believe it or not, these difficult people just want to throw the behavior, words, attitude out there to see how we react.  (Interestingly, it’s the same thing my 10 year old does when she wants to see me jump!)  When I take the bait, I’m giving them what they want.  How about recognizing my reaction really gives them the power. Instead, let’s stop, and…

3.  How Can I Respond with the unexpected?  When I was verbally accosted at the gas pump last week by the oversized 40-year-old-surfer-dude on his way to the lake, I just laughed.  Based on his aggressive words, I’m sure he was looking for an argument.  But the whole situation was so ridiculous, laughter was my only possible response.  It stopped his aggression and I was left feeling slightly bemused rather than depleted by the incident.

Interestingly, these questions and behaviors are much easier to do with people you don’t know.  I think that’s because we’re so much more invested and connected with those in our close circle.  It’s that double whammy – we do what we don’t want to with those closest to our hearts!

So try these ideas out on your family and co-workers and see what happens.  I’ll love to hear your feedback.  Check back tomorrow for another set of strategies for dealing with difficult people.

P.S. Happy Birthday Dad!  75 Years Young.  And through the years when I’ve sometimes been the difficult person, you keep on being the most awesome Dad.  I love you!

This is Day 16 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these are you interested in trying?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 16 – Difficult People – Strategies & Solutions (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

1. Will this matter 5 years from now?
2. Who is getting the power here?
3. How can I respond with the unexpected?

By asking these questions, you will remind yourself to respond, not react when engaging with the difficult person.  Now, let’s take a look at our actual conversations.

Have you noticed that sometimes a person becomes difficult in reacting to something you innocently said to them?  Well, following are a few key ideas you can employ to make sure your communication is assertive without inducing defensiveness and anger.

1.  Focus on the problem, not the person.  For example, you co-worker Tara is consistently tardy to work 3 of 5 mornings a week.  Her absence creates problems for you because when she’s not there, you have to handle her work load as well as your own.  Your tendency may be to focus on how irresponsible and lazy and self-absorbed you think Tara is by her chronic tardiness.  Instead, refocus and target the real problem here – don’t make a judgement about her – just focus on her behavior and how it is affecting you.  That way, when you talk with her about her behavior, you won’t be accusatory, you’ll just be able to focus on the facts of her behavior.

2.  Avoid absolutes and generalities.  Always, never, everyone, nobody, nothing, ever.  Do those words sound familiar to you?  Many of us are quick to assign an absolute and/or generality to a problem – like “Tara is always late.” or how about “Everyone knows you don’t really care about your job.”  These statements are most likely incorrect since few of us are always or never anything!  They are also general – and will not help solve the situation.  Stay specifically focused on the problem rather than create a defense response by throwing out glittering generalities and aggressive absolutes.

3.  Get specific.  Target the exact behavior that is bothering you.  For example, instead of saying to Tara, “You’re always late!”, begin your discussion by saying “Yesterday, when you were 10 minutes late to work…”  By getting specific about what you are talking about, and letting them know precisely what you are having trouble with, then you keep the discussion on track and targeted.  The more specific the better.

4.  Clearly state the specifics and then tell them what you would like to see them change.  For example, your conversation with Tara might begin like this; “Tara, when you were 10 minutes late to work 3 times last week I feel really frustrated. I have have to cover my work as well as your own.  I would appreciate it if you could be on time for work, or make arrangements for someone else to cover your duties until you arrive.”  Notice how specific that was?  It had complete facts as well as what I wanted her to do differently.

There’s so much we can talk about when it comes to clear, assertive communication to use especially when dealing with difficult people.  I’m out of room for today, but tomorrow I’m going to give you a few more ideas.  I’m so glad we’re only 1/2 way through the month!  There’s so much more good stuff left to discuss!

This is Day 17 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you have trouble staying specific?  What do you do to keep from using generalities and assumptions?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 17 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

2.  The Priority No.  This is the one you use with your boss.  When she comes running to you and asks you to drop what you’re doing and get to work immediately on this newer, higher priority project, here’s what you do.  Calmly pull out your list of priorities (discussed with and approved by your boss at the beginning of the current week), and ask her which of these other, prioritized items, she would like you to take off the list so that you can add her new priority project.

This little ploy will remind your boss that you are working off a priority list, and will either cause her to a) go find someone else to do the job – someone who is not working off a priority list, or b) re-think and re-assign the planned-on projects.  Either way, you in a good spot because you’re sticking to the projects as planned, and you won’t get penalized later for not finishing your priority list.

The one thing the Priority No requires is…yes, you guessed it…Priorities!  Even if you work in an environment where priorities are not discussed – or things are unorganized and randomly worked on, you personally, need priorities.  Take this opportunity to review what you are doing and make sure you are on track to reach your goals.  In order to reach your goals, my guess is that you’ll need to set priorities.  I love this method of saying no because it always pulls me back to what’s really important.  Now, I just have to remember to use it!

3.  The Full Plate No.  This is the one you use with your friends and co-workers when they want to rope you into another “good cause” for which you really don’t have time.  For example, for the past 5 years you have enjoyed organizing the office holiday party. This year, however, you have begun taking night classes and you are too overloaded to organize the party.  So, when they ask you about organizing the party again this year, you simply say, “Thank you for asking, however, my plate is really full right now, I’m going to have to pass on organizing the party this year.”

Notice how simple this is!  No long list of reasons or excuses, just a simple “no thank you.”  It’s a clean and simple get-away, and leaves everyone feeling positive.  This Full Plate No leaves you feeling empowered as you draw clear boundaries, and leaves the other person impressed you were able to clearly express your desires.

If saying No is a difficult area for you, I want to recommend a fabulous book by Lysa TerKeurst called The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands. This is a terrific, practical, best seller by one of my favorite women.  Lysa dives deeply into this topic and give you practical strategies you can put in place to make sure you are living out The Best Yes!

This is Day 15 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these techniques to help you say No.  I’d love to hear your experience.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 15 – 3 Ways to Say NO, Nicely. Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Do you have trouble saying the ‘N’ word?  Do you find that because you can’t say NO, you end up involved in all sorts of things you don’t really want to do?  Or are you one of those people who has no difficulty saying No.  So much so, that people perceive you as self-centered and not a team player?  If you can relate, read on.

Following is the first of 3 ways to say No.  Using these ideas will help you build relationships rather than put a strain on them, while still making sure you end up doing only, and exactly, what you want to do.

1.  The 3×5 No.  Use this with someone you supervise, including your teenager!  Here’s an example from home.  You can take it and extrapolate it out for the office or whatever your situation.

Your daughter comes to you and says, “Mother, I have to get this $300.00 purse, and I have to get it now!”  Now you know that a $300 purse is not in the budget no way, no how, but you don’t want to say “NO!” again.  (Or if you are like I am, say “Are you out of your cotton-pickin’ mind?”) Ahem…

Instead, here’s how you handle it.  “Sweetheart,” you reply, “I want you to have this beautiful purse.  It’s gorgeous and stylish and I can see exactly why you want it.  My problem is that a $300 purse for you is not in our family budget.  Here’s what I would like you to do.  Take this 3×5 card.” (Hand it to her.)  “On one side you can write $300.00 purse and on the other side, I want you to list all the ways you can think of to pay for this $300.00 purse.  When the card is full of ideas, I want you to bring it back to me and we can discuss the options.”

The amazing thing about this method is how creative people can be when they really want something.  Your daughter will come up with all sorts of terrific ideas you would have never thought of ~ and because it’s her idea, she can’t complain about it later.  You will want to try this with your employee the next time they get negative about your solution to a problem.  Ask them to come up with alternatives and watch the positive energy rise.  Reminder — don’t use this one with your boss! 

This 3×5 No is a very empowering way to teach problem solving skills.  It’s also a great way to keep the environment positive and pro-active.  Check back for the next post when I’ll give you 2 more powerful suggestions.  Now, excuse me please, I have a call to make.  There’s a committee I’ve got to go extricate myself from…

This is Day 14 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you have difficulty saying No? I’d love to hear your experience. Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 14 – 3 Ways to Say NO, Nicely. Part 1 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Have you heard any of these phrases lately?  Negative, energy sucking, relationship tearing, and motivation zapping phrases seem to be all the vogue.  And it’s kind of hard not to be negative when you read the paper, listen to the radio and watch the news.  Holy cow!  Have things in this world ever been worse?

I’m going to suggest 3 simple ideas to keep you from letting that negativity bug get you down.  They are simple.  But they work.  Let’s take a closer look.

1.  Commit to yourself not to be one of the negative ones in your environment.  This is easier said than done, but “NO NEGATIVE” should be your internal command.  When you’re tempted to chime in to a negative discussion or make a negative comment, remind yourself of your commitment.  You can either say nothing or better yet, reframe it so you have something positive to say.

2.  Determine you will look for the good in every situation.  It’s amazing how this small choice can change your outcomes.  I think my Dad is a great example of someone who finds the good in every situation.  In 2003 he was diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer.  Surgery removed all the cancer, but his physicians recommended chemotherapy.  As he was sitting in his home office on the morning of his first treatment, my Mother asked if she could do anything to help him get ready.  With a bright voice and shiny eyes, my Dad replied, “I don’t think so.  I’ve got the new Clive Cussler book I’ve been wanting to read and the brand new Straight Ahead Big Band CD I’ve been wanting to listen to.  You know, I’ve never done anything like this before.  I think this could be kind of fun!”

Yes, that’s right, FUN.  Wow!  What an attitude.  Before you say, how ridiculous to be so positive and light hearted about something so serious, stop a minute and think.  No matter the outcome, wouldn’t it make your time pass more enjoyably if you had a positive outlook rather than a negative one?  And study after study shows the importance of a positive outlook on outcomes.  Interestingly enough, today my Dad is a fit, healthy 75.  Better than before and cancer free.  I’m thankful.

I know many people do have negative outcomes even with a positive outlook.  I have a friend who just lost her father to cancer, and I don’t know of anyone who had a more positive spirit and deeply felt faith.  Bad things happen. But the idea here is to look for the good no matter how bad the situation.  It will benefit you and others.  And who knows, it might even positively affect your outcome.

3.  Get back on the positive wagon.  We all succumb to negativity at one time or another.  So the real success comes in recommitting yourself to a positive outlook so you can have a life of joy.  If there’s a deeper problem and you find yourself living in negativity, I’d encourage you to get to a health care provider ASAP so you can get some help climbing out of the pit.  Go for a walk, listen to some favorite music, jump on the trampoline with your kids.  Do what you can to jump back on that wagon.  Life is too short to spend it bound in negativity.

This is Day 13 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

I hope these will help you when you find yourself tempted to get negative.  Question:  How do you overcome negativity? I’d love to hear your comments – just leave them below.

The post Day 13 – How to Squash the Negativity Bug (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here’s where it gets a bit tricky.  Ask yourself this.  What if trimming the bushes was one of the biggest thrills in your husband’s life?  Do you still have the right?

And what if each time he trimmed the bushes, they died.  Yes, that’s right. Dead. Brown. Kaput. As in, you have to pull them out and start over.  Do you still have the right?  Yes! (By the way, if it gets this bad, you must transition from mere unsolicited advice to a full blown strategy of assertive dialogue – but that’s another column.)

So, even, and especially when you have the right, before you open your mouth, ask yourself, “Is it in the best interest of the relationship for me to give this unsolicited advice?”  If not, then keep quiet.

I can’t emphasize this technique enough.  If they don’t ask, don’t tell.  Shhhh.  Bite your tongue. Hum a tune.  Try anything you can to stay silent and keep from transmitting the disease!

I admit this is a “hot button” topic for me.  In fact, let me be authentic with you and make a confession…I’m in recovery.  That’s right, I’m a recovering unsolicited advice giver.  I grew up in a family where we felt compelled with a moral obligation to pass on our wisdom to anyone we saw doing something differently (i.e., not our way) than we thought it should be done.  This propensity to participate in the plague has caused me untold misery and compounded problems – all because I never realized the destruction I was sowing.  You’ll be relieved to know I am in recovery, the cure is working, and I”m well on my way to a total healing.

But back to you.  What stage are you in?  Denial? Are you carrying the plague with you – bringing irritation and alienation to everyone you come in contact with?  Or are you willing to start and work the steps of recovery by resolving to practice the cure?

Remember, before you speak up, ask yourself these 2 questions:

1.  What gives me the right?

and then,

2.  Even if I have the right, is it in the best interest of the relationship?

There’s no easy answer here, and if you struggle with this I suggest you give these steps a try.  I know from experience, it’s so much more rewarding and positive for a relationship when you can stay quiet, build relationship and interestingly enough, often the person you most want to help will end up coming to you and asking for advice.  And then you can give it to your heart’s content.  Voila!

This is Day 12 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you give unsolicited advice?  Have you tried these solutions?  I’d love to hear your feedback – just leave a comment below.

The post Day 12 – A Widespread Plague Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key #2 ~ Follow:  Follow first with silence and then with open ended questions.  Think back to your favorite listener.  Let me ask you, does the person who came to mind give you lots and lots of space around your sentences?  Do they let you have a pause at the end of your thoughts?  I’ll bet they do.  That’s called following with silence.  That’s probably the main reason you think of them as a great listener too.

You can do this too.  During a conversation consciously be quiet and allow a space (I try for 3 seconds) to follow after the person you listening to says something.  A funny thing will happen when you do this.  Either they realize they have more to say – and say it, or they’re finished with their thought and they’re waiting for your followup.  Being an active listener – then they don’t speak after 3 seconds, you follow up with an open-ended question.  That is, a question that cannot be answered with a yes or no answer.  This will keep the conversation moving forward and they will feel heard.

Key #3 ~ Feedback: This is the final step you can do when you are an active listener.  You can give feedback by reflecting with your body and reflecting with your words.  Think of the concept of mirroring the person speaking.  They tilt their head, you tilt your head.  They lean right, you lean left.  Basically, you’re matching their movements.

Did you know that people like people who are “like themselves?”  Think of your best friends.  Aren’t they similar to you in many ways?  The same thing holds true with listening.  People like to engage in conversation with people who are “like them.”  Now, don’t be a dork!  This isn’t the game my 2nd grader played tonight at the dinner table where he mimicked my every word and behavior!  Just do it gently with your body and then with your words.  When they comment, “We’re going to Hawaii for our vacation.”  You can reply, “Oh, so you’re going to Hawaii, how exciting!”  This confirms for them that you are listening and interested.  You show you are interested by giving them this verbal reflection.

Focus, Follow and Feedback. Three simple steps to energize yourself towards Active Listening.  Try it and see what happens.  I guarantee, when you commit to this behavior, you’ll see deepened relationships and more productive communication.

This is Day 10 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these 3 types of active listening behaviors are your favorite to use?  To be the recipient of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below.

The post Day 10 – Active Listening: Following and Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Our conversation got off to a good start with a discussion of current events.  The talk moved to the problem of the Sandinistas in Nicaragua and in those days before the Iran Contra affair became known to all, it was natural to ask the Congressman what ideas he had for dealing with them.  When he gave his answer, I immediately piped up with, “But why do you think that would work when we’ve tried it before and it failed?”  He immediately leaned way back in his chair, crossed his arms behind his reclining head, swung his crossed legs up onto the top of his desk and fired back, “What do you think we should do?”  Clearly, he was not interested in my answer, nor was he receptive to anything I might have to say.  Considering I was just 20 and more than a little intimidated by this show of “manliness” I quickly responded, “I don’t know, you’re the Congressman.”

Needless to say, that was the end of that discussion and we moved on to other topics and the meeting was over not long after.  What happened there was a beautiful display of how NOT to listen.  Congressman Kemp’s dramatic body language put form to his feelings.  He had no interest in meeting with us or hearing what we had to say.  So since he couldn’t say that to his scheduler, he dramatically let us know we needed to get moving.

So, how do you avoid the same mistake in Listening?  I believe there are 3 key things you can do to be an active listener.  Focus, Follow and Feedback.  Today we’re going to look at how to focus.

Key #1:  Focus ~~ Focus with your body first and then your mind.  This is how you do it:  Uncross your arms and legs.  If you are sitting, lean slightly forward, about 7 degrees forward. When your body is open and you’re tilted slightly forward towards the speaker, it conveys you are interested in what the other person has to say.  This posture also helps you focus your mind on the immediate conversation. Your mind will be less likely to wander to your grocery list, or who is picking up the kids from school, or what you are going to do with that problem employee.  Instead, you’ll be laser focused on the conversation.  Note:  do not do this forward lean if you are standing — people will move away from you because you’ll be invading their space.

Oftentimes people are resistant to truly focusing during a conversation and will instead, take the opportunity to multitask.  What’s so interesting is that just this past week, research has emerged that Multitasking actually Damages Your Brain!  Yes! Can you believe it?  You can read more about it here.  When I saw this article, I recommitted to focusing more intently, especially during conversations.  Check back on tomorrow for part 2 on active listening.

This is Day 9 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

How about you?  Do you focus when you are listening or are you a multitasker?  I’d love to read your comments below!

The post Day 9 – Active Listening: Focus (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

And do you know, his behavior problems “magically” disappeared, and she ended up having a great year…with the whole class.  You see, she had the same conversation with each student, and they all rose to her vision and expectations for them.  In the business world, we call this using Praise, Rewards and Recognition to develop your people.  At home, I call it helping myself stay sane.  Do you realize people respond to your expectations?  In study after study, scientists have observed the power of positive expectations. So whether you need this technique at home or work or both, let’s take a look at how you can bring out the best with positive expectations.

Praise:  Look for positives and respond.  Once, while I was doing a training in Arkansas, a supervisor from the Little Debbie factory raised her hand and said, “My workers are working hard at a difficult and repetitive job on an assembly line.  I always like to catch ’em doing something right!”  You can bet she had motivated and empowered workers.

In order to come across as authentic with your praise, makes sure it is both sincere and specific.  People believe you are sincere with your praise when you are specific.  For example, if you tell your employee, “I really appreciate you.  I know you’ve put in a lot of extra time on this project and I appreciate it.  Thank you for your hard work and your attention to detail.”  Your employee will be energized and motivated to do even more.  And I must add, with certain employees, a letter spelling out this praise will be most highly valued of all.

We know people work harder for praises than raises.  Most importantly though, they will know you sincerely appreciate them…you told them so with Praise.

Recognition and Rewards:  Create an environment for people to look good!  When you walk in the door of the Arbonne International headquarters, almost the first thing you see is a huge wall filled with pictures of top achievers in the company.  These achievers are recognized for their accomplishments.

Focus positive attention on the quality of work and keep it there.  My 5th grade daughter is intensely focused on getting all her homework finished on time, and finished perfectly so she can participate in her teachers’ “Friday Rewards”.  And the even bigger goal is the “Perfect week, Perfect month” reward.  And on top of that, each test holds the potential of receiving a “Big Cookie” for a 98% or higher on the test.  Her teacher has tapped into the power of recognition and rewards for her 4th and 5th graders.

There are all kinds of way you can incorporate Praise, Recognition and Rewards into your communication life.  If you’re short on ideas, I recommend a book called The Carrot Principle: How the Best Managers Use Recognition to Engage Their People, Retain Talent, and Accelerate Performance by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton. It’s loaded with great ideas you can implement immediately both at work and home.

This is a perfect time to re-commit to the power of positive.  Love the people in your life this way.  They will thank you and both morale and satisfaction will soar.  And a brand new resource to help you stay positive is Crystal Paine’s (Money Saving Mom) Choose Gratitude: Blessings Journal. There’s nothing like focusing on the good to help you stay positive.

This is Day 8 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you find it easy to focus on the positive this way?  What are some good ways you have given praise, recognition and rewards?

The post Day 8 – The Power of Positive (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Quiz:

1. Has anyone ever told you they “didn’t know how you would take it,” so they avoided telling you important information until after the fact?
2. Do you have difficulty giving people a second chance, because you expect perfection the first time?
3. Have you ever brought up something someone said a long time ago and used it in a current conversation to make your point?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, read on for a reminder of the elements required for a safe and healthy garden that fosters powerful communication.

Soil – Authenticity.  How authentic are you?  Are you the same person regardless of the situation?  As a leader, do you operate the same way with your staff as you do with your peers?  Do you share your own struggles and challenges with your team or do you create a façade of of perfection?  If you struggle with showing your true self, then you need to focus on being Authentic.  It’s the foundation.

Water – Give Grace.  Grace means “Undeserved favor performed out of your good will.”  Do you give others the benefit of the doubt or do you wait for them to flub up so you can point out their error?  Do you choose to give people second chances?  This doesn’t mean you have unhealthy boundaries.  It’s just you accept that people are flawed, and you’re willing to allow them to be less than perfect, and maybe even help them recover when they have failed.  Healthy environments require finding ways to give grace, just like water, daily.

Fertilize – Encourage Communication.  When you encourage communication, people feel safe talking with you.  They know conversations are confidential.  They know you listen for meaning, not just to gain information to use later.  You also recognize that sometimes people just have to verbally process in order for them to synthesize the information they have received.  You are also willing to share of yourself.  You’re not closed and unwilling to reveal yourself to them.  Communication flows both ways.

Making sure to include these elements into your everyday environment is hard work.  But it’s worth it when you begin to see your relationships blossom and grow strong so that that not only will they withstand life’s stresses but will flourish in the midst of them.

This is Day 7 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

What kind of communication environment are you cultivating?  Are you intentional with any of these 3 key elements?  I’d love to hear your experiences.  Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 7 – Flourish (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This is a throwback for sure (remember when Andre Agassi had hair!)…but is it still true?  We could debate this idea for eons, but when all is said and done, the bottom line is that our image plays a powerful roll in how we interact with others.  My guess is that most of you reading this would really like to create a positive and professional image whether you are CEO of a large corporation or CEO of your home.

With that in mind, if you want to be perceived as a powerful communicator, here are 3 key suggestions:

1.  Be clear.  Ambiguity may have it’s place in poetry or novels, but for interpersonal communication ambiguity leads to mis-understandings.  If you want something accomplished, say it in terms that are clear and definite.  Don’t beat around the bush.

Unclear:   “I could sure use some help around here.”

Clear:  “Please clear the table, put the dishes in the dishwasher and take out the trash.”

Ask:  How can I make my conversation clearer?

2.  Be concise.  There’s nothing worse that someone who rambles on and on and on and on and… well, you get the picture.  Sometimes we ramble because we are nervous about getting an answer we don’t want.  Just spit it out.

Rambling:  “If it’s possible, and you’re not too busy, and I know you really have a lot to do, but I could really use your help, if you could just take a sec and look at this project and see if I’m on the right track, because it’s the first time I’ve done anything like this, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Concise:  “Do you have 5 minutes?  There’s a project I’d like to get your input on.”

Ask:  How can I be more concise?

3.  Be committed.  Don’t hedge.  A hedge, according to Phyllis Mindell, a recognized expert on women and language, is when you “hide behind words, refuse to commit oneself.”  Women tend to do this more than men. These words don’t add meaning, they just add to the sentence – in an effort to soften the sentence.  When you commit to clear, concise communication, you will be able to omit these.

Hedging:  “Well, I would really like us to start the meeting at 8:00am, if it’s not too inconvenient for everyone.”

Committed: “The meeting starts at 8:00am, and I expect everyone to attend.

Ask:  What words can I omit and still retain the meaning?

It’s not easy to speak with clarity and intention.  I want to encourage you to put these 3 ideas into practice and see if you get better results.  I know you will enjoy creating a positive, professional communication image.

This is Day 4 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question: What do you think about this?  Do you believe it will work? Have you tried any of these before and if so, what were your results?  I’d love your feedback! You can comment below.

The post Day 4 – Your Communication Image (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• There is power in community
• Enthusiasm is contagious
• The beauty of an early morning ritual
• Keeping sane with sleep, exercise, friendship and the Word

Part 2: How to be Extravagantly Generous

1. Start with what you have – talents, time, ideas, stuff
2. Look for ways to help – hint, you don’t have to start it.   Amy’s website has some great suggestions
3. Pick a week to eat from the pantry/freezer, and with your kids, pick out a way to be generous with the grocery money
4. Discuss what being it would look like for your family to be extravagantly generous – then pick something to DO to live it out
5. Don’t wait

Website links:

Amy L. Sullivan  Amy’s website with load of great information here.

Amy’s Recommended Reading and Resources:

When More is Not Enough – How to Stop Giving Your Kids What They Want and Give Them What They Need, by Amy L. Sullivan  How important is this?!  Very!

15 Ways to Make Love Impossible, by Lori and Steven McClure  – watch for their upcoming interview on our podcast in a few weeks.

Start A Snowball – Helping Kids do Good  What an excellent resource for your family!

Encouraging Word of the Week:  1 Timothy 6:17-19 (The Message)   “Tell those rich in this world’s wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow.  Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage, to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous.  If they do that, they’ll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  What are you doing to teach and train your kids how to implement giving into their everyday lives?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

The post #025: Amy L. Sullivan – When More is Not Enough and Extravagant Generosity (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Sometimes people say charisma is something you’re either born with or you’re not.  I think it’s even simpler that that. Yes, it may be easier for some people, but the reality is that most people who are perceived as having charisma do certain things that create that perception.

So, here are my Top 5 hallmarks of a charismatic person:

1. Confidence.  They don’t apologize for being themselves.  They embrace it.  They don’t think they’re too short, too tall, too fat, too thin, too bald, too much hair, too old, too young.  They’ve stopped all that nonsense cold.  Charismatic people know that the best version of me, is me!  So they embrace it.  And then they own it.   Confidence is contagious.  That’s charismatic.
2. Ask questions.  One of the most noticeable attributes of a charismatic person is that they make you feel like you are special.  They are really INTO you.  They don’t just rattle on about how awesome they are, they focus on you and ask you questions about yourself.  .  They ask open ended questions (more on that in a later post) and wait eagerly for your answer.  Get really good as asking questions.  That’s charismatic.
3. Listen well.  Another striking quality of charismatic people is how well they listen.  When you are talking, they are not busy formulating answers or thinking of the next question (remember, they are confident), instead they are 100% focused in on you as you answer their question.  They listen for ways to connect and relate.  Become a good listener.  That’s charismatic.
4. Have something interesting to say.  A key element of a charismatic person is how they seem to always have an engaging tidbit to share.  They pay attention to the world, and people are interested in their observations.  They read books, blogs, and newspapers.  They listen to podcasts and radio and even occasionally go to movies or watch TV.  So when it’s time to talk, they are interesting.  That’s charismatic.
5. Laugh at yourself.  Don’t take yourself so seriously!  Charismatic people understand the power of laughter and the first joke is always on them. So learn how to be funny and start with yourself.  Look for the humor in daily life and share.  Everyone loves to laugh, and charismatic people lead and leave with laughter.  That’s charismatic.

Can you tell that the magic secret to charisma is really,  Seek to be interested more than interesting.  That’s it.  That’s the secret.  All these things I’ve listed are really ways to show you are interested in others.  Simple. Easy to practice.  You can do it.  That’s charismatic.

This is Day 2 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  What do you think makes someone charismatic?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 3 – How to Be Charismatic…Hint – it’s not what you think it is (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Not only were we 2 of the most “seasoned” mothers, at that roundup, ahem, but despite the height of that shoe heel, we were also kindred spirits.  Over the intervening 6 years, I’m happy to say my first impression of Maureen was spot on.  She is darling. She is definite. She is daring!

The statistics say we have about 7 seconds to make a first impression.  How are you doing?  Maureen did a lot of things right to create a positive first impression with me.  She’s a business owner and she knows the power of impact.  Here are a few things you can do to get off on the right foot. Ahem.

1. Stand up straight and smile.  There’s something about a smile that invites a positive response.  You immediately signal you are friendly and open and ready to start something good.
2. Stick out your right hand, say your name and give a nice handshake.  You can almost never go wrong by initiating the handshake.  In our American culture, a handshake is a universal clue that you want to get the conversation started.  (More on handshakes in a later post.)
3. Lean towards the person you are meeting.  Sheryl Sandberg had it right when she said “Lean In”.  Your body will send your message of interest loud and clear before you even say a word.
4. Look them in the eye.   As I’m training my kids how to meet new people, the hardest thing for them to understand is the power of looking the other person in the eye.  They want to hang their head and mumble. Each time I force gently encourage them to lift their head and look the other person in the eye as they are introducing themselves.
5. Speak up.  When you say your name, say it clearly.  Nothing is worse than having to ask, “What was your name again?”  Make sure that as you introduce yourself you are projecting your voice towards them.

The bottom line is that creating an awesome first impression is a lot easier than you might think.  It’s really all about the other person.  When you ask yourself, “How can I give them what they need so they feel comfortable entering into a conversation with me?”, you’re on the right track.

Interesting, isn’t it. When we take our eyes off ourselves and put them on the other person, we’re bound to win.  Oh, and some awesome shoes will always help too.

This is Day 2 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  What do you do intentionally to create a positive first impression?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 2: First Impressions (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

So often I hear women, even famous and powerful women, minimize their impact by the way they talk or the words they use.  So, for the next 30 days we’ll explore what you can do to be confident and competent as a communicator.  What you can do to be taken seriously, and have your message heard.  In short, how you can become a more Powerful Communicator.

The funny thing is, that as you become more confident and competent as a communicator, my hunch is that you will also become more confident and competent as a woman!  Bonus!

So as we look forward to these next 31 days, think about what communication struggles you would like help with and let me know.  Leave me a comment or shoot me an email if you want to remain anonymous.  I have some hot topics in mind, but I know you’ll have some awesome suggestions too.

It’s going to be fabulous!  Let’s get going!

Click the links below to view the rest of the 31 Powerful Communication Skills for Women Posts:

Day 1 – Introduction

Day 2 – First Impressions

Day 3 – Charisma 101

Day 4 – Your Communication Image

Day 5 – Create Your Perfect Voice

Day 6 – Create Your Perfect Voice-Part 2

Day 7 – Flourish

Day 8 – The Power of Positive

Day 9 – Active Listening Part 1: Focus

Day 10 – Active Listening Part 2

Day 11 – A Widespread Plague Part 1

Day 12  – A Widespread Plague Part 2

Day 13 – How to Squash the Negativity Bug

Day 14 – How to Say No. Nicely Part 1

Day 15 – How to Say No. Nicely Part 2

Day 16 – Dealing with Difficult People

Day 17 – Dealing with Difficult People – Part 2

Day 18 – Dealing with Difficult People – Part 3

Day 19 – Shine

Day 20 – Power Phrases

Day 21 – Pass the Honey Please

Day 22 – Know, Like and Trust Part 1

Day 23 – Know, Like and Trust Part 2

Day 24 – Mama Knows Best

Day 25 – Becoming a Master Communicator

Day 26 – Communicating L.O.V.E.

Day 27 – How to Say It – Giving Feedback

Day 28 – How to Take It – Receiving Feedback

Day 29 – Live Generously

Day 30 – Your Communication Style

Day 31 – Why Are Work Working At All This Stuff Anyway?

The post 31 Powerful Communication Skills for Women (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Give the Hope Virus
• Chase one rabbit – how do we do that?
• We can strive to make every day joyful, not just perfect
• Some clever marketing tips

Part 2: How to “Chase One Rabbit” when everything is multiplying like…rabbits!

1. Make a master list
2. Identify the one theme or big idea that emerges
3. Pick the top 3 items, activities, elements that will drive you towards your big idea
4. Write your list the night before
5. Execute your list with a re-visiting at noon daily

Website links:

www.colleensheehyorme.com  Colleen’s website with load of great information here.

How Great Thou Part – A Catholic Girl’s musings on Love, Divorce and Life.  This is a direct link to Colleen’s columns for Beliefnet.com – which is a great resource for all things of faith – for all faiths.  You’ll love it!

Colleen’s Recommended Reading:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. An excellent resource for understanding how to show your love in a way your loved one can receive best. HIGHLY recommended.

When GOD Winks: How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life by Squire Rushnell. One I haven’t read yet, but look forward to reading.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 3:5-6  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Are you scattered or laser focused?  What are your trick for chasing one rabbit?  Or do you even think it’s necessary?   I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

The post #024: Colleen Sheehy Orme and How to Chase One Rabbit appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Best practices for how to start (and run) a business with a friend
• The importance of transparency and forgiveness
• How to tap into the power of mentorship
• Strategies for handling conflicts when they arise

Part 2:  Forgiveness

• Is a choice
• Requires action (and it’s HARD!)
• Must be practiced
• Will reach it’s conclusion

Website Links:

www.strongbodywholeheart.com

www.facebook.com/strongbodywholeheart

www.twitter.com/sbwheart

http://instagram.com/sbsheart_kelly,     http://instagram.com/sbwheart_maggie

Recommended Reading:
Forgiveness: Finding Peace Through Letting Go, by Adam Hamilton

Courage: Igniting Self-Confidence, by Debbie Ford

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Brene Brown

Encouraging Word of the Week: Matthew 6:9-13 – The Lord’s Prayer     “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Question:  Have you ever thought of starting a business with a friend?  Did you do it?  Why or Why not?  What about the transparency section of this show?  Is that something you struggle with or is it more natural for you?  Finally, how have you experienced forgiveness in your life?  I’d love to read your thoughts and answers below!

The post #022: Strong Body Whole Heart – Kelly & Maggie and Forgiveness (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:

• A simple overview of the Paleo Lifestyle
• Thoughts on the power of meditation
• Learning when to shut it down
• The importance of play in a productive life

Part 2:

• How do you make decisions?
• Ways to discover what’s essential in your life
• Expectations and decision making

Website links:

www.everydaypaleo.com  – This is Sarah’s home base.  You can find TONS of great recipes here along with practical suggestions for feeding yourself and your family in a nourishing way.  She is VERY real and down to earth!

www.eplifefit.com – This is Sarah and Jason Seib’s nutrition and fitness online site.  They dispense tons of great advice and even have a membership site you can join.

Sarah’s Resources:

Everyday Paleo, by Sarah Fragoso – Her first (and I think, best) book on how to do this thing called Paleo.

Everyday Paleo Family Cookbook: Real Food for Real Life, by Sarah Fragoso – Filled with over 80 easy and yummy recipes.

Everyday Paleo Around the World: Italian Cuisine: Authentic Recipes Made Gluten-Free, by Sarah Fragoso – This is Sarah’s first of her series of foods from around the world.  All I can say is “I never knew cooking with mushrooms and wine would make me feel like a real cook.”  Thank you Sarah!

Everyday Paleo: Thai Cuisine: Authentic Recipes Made Gluten-free, by Sarah Fragoso – And she’s done it again.  This is the second installment of her Around the World series and she took the whole family to Thailand for “research” and we are really the ones who benefit.  Interesting and yummy both.

Paleo Pals: Jimmy and the Carrot Rocket Ship, by Sarah Fragoso – This is a children’s book that actually inspires kids to eat whole, nutritious foods.  My children love this book and the recipes included have all been fully approved.  I like how she inspires the kids to get in the kitchen with me to prepare meals.  This is a huge part of Sarah’s philosophy, and this book entertains as it inspires.  You and your kids both will love it!

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst – Saying yes, (or no) means making a decision.  Lysa unpacks some great suggestions for how to make decisions so that your yes’s are emphatic and your no’s are freeing. You’ll love this book.

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown – An excellent resource for figuring out what is really essential in your life.  So that you make better decisions and live more of the life you really want.

Sarah’s Recommendations:

8 Minute Meditation: Quiet Your Mind. Change Your Life.  A primer on meditation

www.headspace.com – an easy, free App to download

Encouraging Word of the Week: Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Question:  What kind of food creates your best health?  Are you a junk foodie or a Paleo promoter?  Can you be both? (I am..hee-hee, don’t tell).  Also, how are you at making decisions?  Do you feel confident in your choices?  What keeps you from making a decision?  Is it fear, like it is for me?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #019: Sarah Fragoso – Founder of Everyday Paleo, Family and Decision Making (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:

• Sometimes it takes someone else to see the gift in you – even before you see it yourself – you’ll learn how what she feared the most became her life passion
• The power of alone time with your kids
• How doing something you love can sometimes lead you into a career you love

Part 2:

• What kind of a friend are you?
• How you can strengthen your friendships this week

Website links:

www.nancysuttonpierce.com

www.consciousLivingYoga.com

You can also find Nancy on FB at Conscious Living Yoga

Encouraging Word of the Week: 1 John 4:18 “There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.” (The Message)

Question:  What do you do to foster your friendships? Has there been a time when your friends got you through?

The post #018: Nancy Sutton Pierce – Conscious Living (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.