Do you know you are a gardener? Every day you have the opportunity to cultivate a relational garden that will flourish. A flourishing garden is a safe environment and it promotes clear, honest and productive communication. Take the mini-quiz and see how your garden is flourishing:
Quiz:
- Has anyone ever told you they “didn’t know how you would take it,” so they avoided telling you important information until after the fact?
- Do you have difficulty giving people a second chance, because you expect perfection the first time?
- Have you ever brought up something someone said a long time ago and used it in a current conversation to make your point?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, read on for a reminder of the elements required for a safe and healthy garden that fosters powerful communication.
Soil – Authenticity. How authentic are you? Are you the same person regardless of the situation? As a leader, do you operate the same way with your staff as you do with your peers? Do you share your own struggles and challenges with your team or do you create a façade of of perfection? If you struggle with showing your true self, then you need to focus on being Authentic. It’s the foundation.
Water – Give Grace. Grace means “Undeserved favor performed out of your good will.” Do you give others the benefit of the doubt or do you wait for them to flub up so you can point out their error? Do you choose to give people second chances? This doesn’t mean you have unhealthy boundaries. It’s just you accept that people are flawed, and you’re willing to allow them to be less than perfect, and maybe even help them recover when they have failed. Healthy environments require finding ways to give grace, just like water, daily.
Fertilize – Encourage Communication. When you encourage communication, people feel safe talking with you. They know conversations are confidential. They know you listen for meaning, not just to gain information to use later. You also recognize that sometimes people just have to verbally process in order for them to synthesize the information they have received. You are also willing to share of yourself. You’re not closed and unwilling to reveal yourself to them. Communication flows both ways.
Making sure to include these elements into your everyday environment is hard work. But it’s worth it when you begin to see your relationships blossom and grow strong so that that not only will they withstand life’s stresses but will flourish in the midst of them.
This is Day 7 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.
What kind of communication environment are you cultivating? Are you intentional with any of these 3 key elements? I’d love to hear your experiences. Just leave a comment below.
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