She came up to me after class and waited in line to visit. My first impression of her was really good. She was dressed professionally and had really cute shoes. She had a charming smile. And then she opened her mouth and began to speak. Oh. My. Disaster!
It was as if I were speaking with a 10-year-old excited about her first trip to Disneyland. Breathy. Fast. High pitched. Run-on sentences. Yikes!
The way you say something has even more impact than the words you speak. (I’ll do a post about the non-verbals later in this series.) Your delivery will either make or break your communication. God gave you the vocal chords and physical realities you are working with – it’s up to you to work with these and hone your voice into a melodious instrument.
Here are 3 main areas to develop in order to be a powerful communicator:
1. Volume – The amount of sound that is produced
Too loud: You hear Larry Loud from clear across the room. Oblivious to being obnoxious, he thinks louder is better. Maybe he has a hearing problem. Or maybe he’s just excited. Or maybe he just wants everyone to notice him. Regardless, too loud is just plain wrong.
Too soft: Sally Softie looks and sounds like she is wrapped in pink cotton. She whispers her thoughts as if she’s afraid of your response. She never notices how hard you are straining to hear her words, or that you eventually just give up in frustration and start nodding your head looking in vain for a way to escape the conversation. Too soft hurts too.
Just right: Just right Janie is very aware that different situations require different volumes. She will raise her voice for impact or lower to attract interest. She knows that volume is a tool that works best when it is varied. She makes sure to have a nice mixture of both loud and soft and that each is used both skillfully and appropriately.
2. Pitch – Pitch is technically defined as the “rate of vibration of the vocal folds”
Too high: The more vibrations the higher the tone. And a higher voice is frequently discounted or minimized as being too “childlike” to be of value.
Too low: A lower tone is commonly recognized as more competent and knowledgeable. Although we women may want to sound like Lauren Bacall, for most of us, that won’t be an option. People who have super low voices can be perceived as being too sexual and not serious.
Just right: Find your natural spot. If it’s in the upper middle range, go lower. Lower voices are perceived as voices of authority, so it’s in our best interest to make an effort to modulate our pitches so that they are still natural, but as low as feels comfortable. Aim for the lower middle range.
3. Rate – How fast or slowly we speak
Too fast: Super excited and young and happy. Think of your kindergartener spilling the beans about an upcoming birthday party the minute he gets in the car after school. Too fast minimizes the value of your information.
Too slow: One word. Boring. Slow and steady is a good formula for saving money, it’s the kiss of death when speaking. Even though slow speech can indicate thoughtfulness, be careful about going too slow.
Just right: We normally speak at about 125 words per minute. Audio books are about 150-160 words per minute (they have to keep your attention) and auctioneers are off the charts at double that. Just right is somewhere between 110 and 150 depending on the situation. As with the other elements, keep it appropriate and you’ll be in a good spot.
The best way to find out how you are doing in these areas is to record yourself and listen back. Once you get over the staggering “yuck” of listening to yourself, you’ll get some helpful insights into where you can tweak things to become a more powerful communicator.
This is Day 5 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.
Question: Which of these areas do you need to work on to become a more powerful communicator?
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