This morning was a rough morning. I woke up feeling crummy thanks to a late night yielding to temptation. The temptation of ice cream. Unfortunately, it was in the freezer. And I ate it. All.

I paid for it this morning.  Headache. Bad attitude. Short temper.

And have I mentioned that my daughter is in 7th grade? She’s a Jr. Higher. Yup. You know what that means. Hormonal. Headache. Bad attitude. Short temper.

And have I mentioned that my son is in 4th grade and is the favorite recipient of above mentioned big sister’s bad attitude and short temper? Yup. You’ve got it.

And have I mentioned that my dear, sweet husband leaves quite early in the morning. He used head out about 7:30 and was able to help get them off to school. But lately I’ve noticed he’s leaving earlier and earlier. This morning it was well before 7:00am… I wonder why? Hmmm…

Which brings me to my topic of the day.

How to say you’re sorry.

Because I wasn’t at my best this morning and I know Mamas set the tone for the day, and Amelia wasn’t a pretty sight. crying as she headed into school and I wasn’t a pretty sight sitting miserable in the car watching her walk away.

I wanted a do-over on the whole morning.

But, of course, there’s no such thing as a do-over. The morning is gone never to be lived again.

But the good news is that there is such a thing as asking for forgiveness. I get to tell my sweet girl and boy, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I was so short tempered. I’m sorry I didn’t give you what you needed. I’m sorry I gave into my own issues rather than rising up and loving you through yours. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’ll try to do better next time. Please forgive me.”

And if all goes well, (this is not the first time they have heard this particular drill,) they will accept my apology as we discuss it, and they will forgive me and we can all run out and jump in the pool and order pizza and family harmony will be restored. At least that’s how it usually turns out if I actually do ask for forgiveness and not just sweep it under the rug to fester and boil.

It’s a 4-Step Process…

1. I’m sorry I…… (Fill in the blank.)
2. I was wrong. (Do not insert a justification here – just say the basic sentence.)
3. I’ll try to do better next time. (This shows you are working towards being a better person.)
4. Please forgive me.

My story from home is equally valid for you at work you know.  That co-worker who asked you to do a favor and you snapped her head off. That boss who you subtly undermined as you casually discussed office politics in the lunch room. That client you told you would do something – only you didn’t.

There are lots of opportunities in our life when we experience brokenness in relationships. Living in the Opportunity Mindset means we don’t ignore the yuk. We see it for what it really is. An opportunity to restore and even deepen a relationship rather than driving separation.

So I hope you will take the opportunity, when needed, to go ahead and say you’re sorry. Then take it a step further and ask for forgiveness. Then don’t do it again.

Now, I’ve got to go and meet the bus…I’ve got a little conversation I’m looking forward to.

Love ya,

Christy

The post How to say “I’m Sorry” appeared first on Christy Largent.

She was missing a key element for success, not just in work, but in life.  That key element is the ability to navigate the “soft skills” or “interpersonal skills.” Following are the top 5 elements you must master as you seek to grow your influence and develop professionally in this area.

1. Listening Skills.  Are you a good listener?  Do you follow along in conversations, or distractedly check your emails when you’re not talking?  I did a post (here) on this topic.  Review it if you would like to brush up on this most important of skills.  I believe listening is probably the most important skill you can use to improve your relationships at work and home.  Like the old saying goes, “God gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason, you should listen twice as much as you talk.”
2. The ability to Navigate through Conflict.  Do you know how to speak out about uncomfortable or hot button topics?  Are you assertive?  (Not aggressive or passive.) Assertiveness is speaking the truth – even hard truths – calmly and confidently.  Often times I see people get stuck in destructive patterns of backbiting and blaming rather than assertively addressing the issues that invariably arise.  If you need a difficult conversation format to follow, check out my post here. When you learn how to speak the truth in love, you’ll be amazed at how you are able to resolve issues and work through conflict.
3. Do what you say you will do.  This point can be called trustworthiness, integrity or authenticity.  Regardless of what you call it, this point is all about being a woman or man of your word.  Even when it’s not comfortable or easy, you can develop the habit of following through the way you said you would.  We all know that people like this are few and far between.  By committing to be a person of commitment, you are already setting yourself apart as unique and special.
4. Generosity.  The best way to show generosity is to focus on others rather than on yourself.  When we turn the focus outward rather than inward, we show that it’s not all about us.  When we are willing to be generous to forgive mistakes, we develop trust relationships with others.  Think “win-win” whenever you have to negotiate.  It’s always better to err on the side of generosity. Check out Give and Take for more on the topic of giving.
5. Sense of Humor.  This is my favorite. (Just listen to my podcast and you’ll see why immediately.)  I love to laugh.  I usually laugh at myself first.  By not taking myself too seriously, I open the door to honest communication, as most people recognize that a bit of “lightening up” can effectively raise morale and boost productivity. I have found that those who are willing to laugh at themselves are also those who can get past the imperfections of others, creating an atmosphere of freedom and willingness to risk looking stupid.

Why not start working on these skills today?  I guarantee you will be very happy with the results as you experience improved relationships and increased opportunities.

Question:  Which of these are the most difficult for you? Which are the easiest?  What do you think about the importance of soft skills to life success?

The post The Top 5 Interpersonal Skills You Need to Succeed at Work and Home appeared first on Christy Largent.