I hemmed and hawed and finally blurted out “because I don’t want to buy shorts in this big size, it’s not who I really am.” She quickly replied, “Then you need to get on it and quit talking about it. Here’s your challenge Mama.  This month, no sugar, few carbs and move every day.” Ouch. Did I mention Amelia is 10 years old?

My first diet was when I was 10 years old. I wanted to be just like this girl named Jill. She was tall and skinny. She had long brown stringy hair. I was short and round with lush and lovely long brown hair. I didn’t see my beautiful hair, just that I wasn’t thin enough.  And so it began. That was 1973.

Today is May 2, 2014 (40 years!!!) and I’m still caught in the “not enough” web. Interestingly enough, I’m currently reading a book by Brene Brown called Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead I’m only about 1/3 of the way through but I believe this will be a life changing book for me.  Shame, perfectionism, fear, vulnerability. All these topics are covered in a fresh way. How can I have been so ashamed of who God made me for all these years? How has that shame etched it’s way down into my soul so that I fear it colors every thought? What if I can dare greatly and banish the shame? At least for today.

Amelia hit a nerve. A raw nerve. It’s raw from worry and thought and effort and guilt and sadness and frustration and fear. Most of all fear. For now that I’ve hit 50, my body is so different than it ever was before. Before, I could just hold on by the skin of my teeth and have some semblance of normalcy. Now, my body is horrific to my eyes. Can I be that honest here? Do any of you relate?

For the past 4 weeks I have been taking a learn to podcast class called Podcasting A-Z with Cliff Ravenscraft.  www.podcastanaserman.com  Podcasting is intimate and personal. I’ve come to know my fellow class members as friends and comrades. Pretty much none of us have ever done anything like podcasting before. We’re all new. We’re all learning. Which means most of us are showing our “weaknesses” to each other. And it’s ok. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. We are Daring Greatly together.

What I have noticed is that the more “real” we are with each other, the more progress we are making. Can I be “real” here on this blog? In my podcast? I believe I have to be. I am able to help you with your communication skills, with understanding the various Personalities in your life. With improving your life. And at the same time, I want to be transparent with you. To share with you my struggles and victories.

Why? Because I know many of you are struggling with the same “not enough” problem that I am. And maybe as I learn how to grow through it I will inspire you to do the same.

So back to this morning. On the way home from dropping the kids I turned on Dr. Kevin Leman’s “Have a New Child By Friday” podcast. I kid you not, the first words out of his mouth were “You have to flaunt your imperfections...if you want to loose a few pounds, post your weight at your office…Be sure to print your name…and then post that weight for the whole office to see. Then the following Monday, weigh yourself and post the new weight.” Hmmm…..”Flaunt Your Imperfections.”

So, in the spirit of the day, week and month. Here goes. Every Friday morning I will write a little post with an update on my challenge. My passion to get fit and healthy will be detailed here.  In the spirit of transparency…187. Three little numbers. I’ll plan on encouraging you weekly with my progress. Please encourage me with yours.

Question: Are you Daring Greatly? Please share. I dare you.

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