Do you have trouble saying the ‘N’ word?  Do you find that because you can’t say NO, you end up involved in all sorts of things you don’t really want to do?  Or are you one of those people who has no difficulty saying No.  So much so, that people perceive you as self-centered and not a team player?  If you can relate, read on.

Following is the first of 3 ways to say No.  Using these ideas will help you build relationships rather than put a strain on them, while still making sure you end up doing only, and exactly, what you want to do.

1.  The 3×5 No.  Use this with someone you supervise, including your teenager!  Here’s an example from home.  You can take it and extrapolate it out for the office or whatever your situation.

Your daughter comes to you and says, “Mother, I have to get this $300.00 purse, and I have to get it now!”  Now you know that a $300 purse is not in the budget no way, no how, but you don’t want to say “NO!” again.  (Or if you are like I am, say “Are you out of your cotton-pickin’ mind?”) Ahem…

Instead, here’s how you handle it.  “Sweetheart,” you reply, “I want you to have this beautiful purse.  It’s gorgeous and stylish and I can see exactly why you want it.  My problem is that a $300 purse for you is not in our family budget.  Here’s what I would like you to do.  Take this 3×5 card.” (Hand it to her.)  “On one side you can write $300.00 purse and on the other side, I want you to list all the ways you can think of to pay for this $300.00 purse.  When the card is full of ideas, I want you to bring it back to me and we can discuss the options.”

The amazing thing about this method is how creative people can be when they really want something.  Your daughter will come up with all sorts of terrific ideas you would have never thought of ~ and because it’s her idea, she can’t complain about it later.  You will want to try this with your employee the next time they get negative about your solution to a problem.  Ask them to come up with alternatives and watch the positive energy rise.  Reminder — don’t use this one with your boss! 

This 3×5 No is a very empowering way to teach problem solving skills.  It’s also a great way to keep the environment positive and pro-active.  Check back for the next post when I’ll give you 2 more powerful suggestions.  Now, excuse me please, I have a call to make.  There’s a committee I’ve got to go extricate myself from…

This is Day 14 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you have difficulty saying No? I’d love to hear your experience. Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 14 – 3 Ways to Say NO, Nicely. Part 1 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:

• A simple overview of the Paleo Lifestyle
• Thoughts on the power of meditation
• Learning when to shut it down
• The importance of play in a productive life

Part 2:

• How do you make decisions?
• Ways to discover what’s essential in your life
• Expectations and decision making

Website links:

www.everydaypaleo.com  – This is Sarah’s home base.  You can find TONS of great recipes here along with practical suggestions for feeding yourself and your family in a nourishing way.  She is VERY real and down to earth!

www.eplifefit.com – This is Sarah and Jason Seib’s nutrition and fitness online site.  They dispense tons of great advice and even have a membership site you can join.

Sarah’s Resources:

Everyday Paleo, by Sarah Fragoso – Her first (and I think, best) book on how to do this thing called Paleo.

Everyday Paleo Family Cookbook: Real Food for Real Life, by Sarah Fragoso – Filled with over 80 easy and yummy recipes.

Everyday Paleo Around the World: Italian Cuisine: Authentic Recipes Made Gluten-Free, by Sarah Fragoso – This is Sarah’s first of her series of foods from around the world.  All I can say is “I never knew cooking with mushrooms and wine would make me feel like a real cook.”  Thank you Sarah!

Everyday Paleo: Thai Cuisine: Authentic Recipes Made Gluten-free, by Sarah Fragoso – And she’s done it again.  This is the second installment of her Around the World series and she took the whole family to Thailand for “research” and we are really the ones who benefit.  Interesting and yummy both.

Paleo Pals: Jimmy and the Carrot Rocket Ship, by Sarah Fragoso – This is a children’s book that actually inspires kids to eat whole, nutritious foods.  My children love this book and the recipes included have all been fully approved.  I like how she inspires the kids to get in the kitchen with me to prepare meals.  This is a huge part of Sarah’s philosophy, and this book entertains as it inspires.  You and your kids both will love it!

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst – Saying yes, (or no) means making a decision.  Lysa unpacks some great suggestions for how to make decisions so that your yes’s are emphatic and your no’s are freeing. You’ll love this book.

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown – An excellent resource for figuring out what is really essential in your life.  So that you make better decisions and live more of the life you really want.

Sarah’s Recommendations:

8 Minute Meditation: Quiet Your Mind. Change Your Life.  A primer on meditation

www.headspace.com – an easy, free App to download

Encouraging Word of the Week: Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Question:  What kind of food creates your best health?  Are you a junk foodie or a Paleo promoter?  Can you be both? (I am..hee-hee, don’t tell).  Also, how are you at making decisions?  Do you feel confident in your choices?  What keeps you from making a decision?  Is it fear, like it is for me?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #019: Sarah Fragoso – Founder of Everyday Paleo, Family and Decision Making (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.