It is a cold and rainy, drizzly Wednesday here in Dallas. Brrrrrr. Not as cold as last week (when I swam in my pool surrounded by snow!) but still so cold I’ve almost forgotten what hot feels like! (Which is saying a lot here in Texas! Hee Hee)

But the first thing I want to say today is a huge thanks to all who have purchased my ​Pickleball Devotional book​ I wrote about last week. Thank you!!! Your support means so much.

Anytime you put something out in the world, there is risk. When my son turns in his homework, there’s risk. His teacher may say he worked the formulas wrong, missed the point of the essay, or fell short somehow of the assignment.

And when we put things out there, we run the risk of negative response as well. Just because we’re not getting “graded” doesn’t mean we’re not running the risk.

So when I told you about my book I had FINALLY finished, I knew there was the risk of a negative response.

From you and my marvelous email friends, from my other friends, from the pickleball community at large…

and yet,

Aren’t we compelled to run the risk anyway? What good are all our gifts and talents if we’re not sharing them with the world?

When God created you, he created just ONE of you. Only you can offer to your family, your community, and the world, the special gifts that only you bring.

I have a friend who is a marvelous cook. She has honed her rough talent for pulling together family meals, into an art due to lots of training and practice. She blesses me with each tip she shares and each meal we enjoy.

I have another friend who teaches pickleball. I’m soooo thankful she’s sharing her hard-learned skills (via 40 years of tennis turned pickleball expertise) with me each week.

And yet another friend is a marvelous artist. She creates amazing watercolors that bless me each time I get to see the fruit of her labor.

What is your gift to share?

It may not be a book, or a course, or a piece of art or a delicious dinner. But I guarantee you have something you were made to offer to others.

So if you’re not sure, may I encourage you to take some time over the next few weeks and make note of these things…

1. What do you really enjoy doing?

2. What things do you spend time doing where the times seems to fly by?

3. What do other people (unprompted) compliment you about?

4. What do you find yourself doing when there’s nothing else to do…but you are drawn towards it over and over again

5. What’s super easy for you to do? (Like falling off a log easy?)

Then pay attention to all these different things. My guess is that you’ll start to see some patterns emerge over a few weeks.

Then, I’d encourage you to see if you can find ways to incorporate more of these things into your life over and over.

You will be able to get more joy, and give more joy, and your life will be happier and even more full of meaning.

And suddenly, the risk holds not quite so much risk anymore because you know you’re doing exactly what you were made for.

Here’s to a great week ahead!

Love you, and as always,

I’m Cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. Here’s ​a link to my newest book​ that I talked about last week. Do you know anyone who would enjoy it? It’s a great gift for sure.

The post Your Gift to the World appeared first on Christy Largent.

My family and I are taking a little vacation from Texas and enjoying all the beauty of Tennessee.

While we are here we are visiting the Smokey Mountains, trying new restaurants and enjoying the cold weather.

We’re also contemplating the New Year and envisioning what we want this next year to look like.

Our daughter will be graduating college, our son entering his senior year of High School and we know that more quickly than we can imagine, it will be time for something new in our lives.

So I think this New Year is the perfect time to consider baby steps of trying something new.

Are you up for it?

Are you someone who seeks out new adventures and opportunities or someone who wants to stay where you are?

There’s really nothing wrong with the status quo…as long as it’s intentional!

If you’re staying still or treading water because you want to…good for you! Enjoy!

If you’re doing it because of fear of the unknown…well, I’ve got an encouragement for you.

Maybe this is the year you step out and try something new and fun.

–A new volunteer position.

–A new job.

–A new hobby (Pickleball anyone?).

–A new friendship.

–It could even be as simple as a new book.

The common denominator all these have is that these actions are moving you towards more of what will make your life fuller and richer. More of what you were put here on earth to do/be.

Let me encourage you to take the step this week. I promise, it will be worth it!

Cheering you on…with a southern twang,

Christy

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I have a quick question for you.

Have you noticed that as we get older, it’s easier and easier to focus our attention inward?

I mean, my knees ache now more than they ever did. And if I don’t get my 7 hours+ of sleep, my thinking is a little fuzzier.

On the plus side, I care less about what other people think, so that’s a relief.

My kids require less time and attention. My work is flowing. I can focus more and more on what I want to do.

But overall, all of this thinking is about myself.

There’s a danger there.

This week in our Bible Study we were reading in Ephesians where the Apostle Paul encourages us to “bear one another’s burdens.”

There was a marked focus on loving each other in their community in real, tangible ways. Ways that helped to lighten the load.

And I was challenged to look for ways I could do more of that in my own life.

Rather than focusing on Me! Me! Me!… I could take a breather and turn that focus outward.

Who can I unexpectedly bless?

Who can I drop off flowers for?

Who can I pray for?

Who can I send an encouraging text or funny card to?

There are a lot of ways we can be a blessing to others if we just remember to get our eyes off our own selves and look for opportunities to serve.

This is the time in our lives we can be a blessing, maybe more easily than ever before.

So let’s hop to it! The world is waiting.

As always, I’m cheering you on,

Love,

Christy xoxo

The post Happiness Through Service appeared first on Christy Largent.

I see the images coming across my Instagram feed and the stories filtering over my Facebook page.

Parents hugging, kissing, laughing, sorting, hauling, setting up (exquisite) dorm rooms, exploring, letting go, laughing some more, and crying.

I have 1 heading off for her second full year at UT, and to be honest, I have some really mixed emotions right now.

You see, our original college dropoff was fall of 2021 when we left our oldest as a HS senior for her to attend the Texas Academy of Math and Science up at the University of North Texas.

To be honest, I had an idealized vision of what it would be like to move her into her dorm. I’d use my background as a professional interior designer to help her create a beautiful, charming, inviting place of respite and calm amid the challenges of college.

I pictured helping her move in and get everything settled, pictures hung, lights strung, and a fuzzy throw blanket across the back of her desk chair. Kissing and hugging goodbye I’d cry on the way home, having dropped my eldest off, knowing things would never be the same again.

Well, I cried on the way home, but for a very different reason than I thought I would.

For starters, she wanted nothing to do with my vision of a fabulous dorm room. Utilitarian was her battle cry and she wanted it as sterile and stark as possible. No throw rugs, sparkle lights or beautiful art. Not for this girl.

I finally wrapped my mind around that, and at least looked forward to helping her move in with what she did let me get her.

Instead, as we got there and began unloading, she definitely didn’t want help putting her room together. I kept hovering, trying to help, but she was on a mission. Everything unpacked by herself and set up by herself.

She didn’t want any input or help from me other than taking out the trash.

In fact, she couldn’t get us out of there fast enough.

I get this. I do. This was about her, not me. But it was really tough for me.

That’s how it is with expectations. We have a vision, how it “should” be, of whatever it is…marriage, parenthood, our work, or, more specifically, moving a kid into college, the empty nest, our “retirement” years…

And for some reason, our expectations are way off base.

What do we do then?

It’s how we handle these unmet expectations that can really take our joy in life off course.

But the magic is that this is where we get to practice the skills we work on, our lovingkindness, our generosity, our patience, our trustworthiness.

During the difficult times are when those skills really count.

When we are able to manage our thoughts so they are working for us instead of against us.

When we can generate good feelings for ourselves in the midst of, let’s face it, less than perfect/desirable circumstances.

I’m so thankful that this year I have a lot more developed skills in this area than I did 2 years ago.

Now when Amelia insists on doing everything herself, I can notice her actions and if I start feeling rejected, I can recognize that it hurts, let myself sit with it until that feeling dissipates, then, I can change my thinking and think how thankful I am she’s so self-sufficient and focused on what’s most important to her.

Because when I think how grateful I am she’s confident and purposeful, I feel happy and even more grateful and hopeful for her future, which helps me be a more supportive and encouraging Mother. (Which is what I want to be!)

Oh, and I can have her Dad take her back down to college without me, which will let us all breathe a bit easier.

I know life isn’t like all those pictures I see on my social media. But going through this exercise helps me stay on track a whole lot more, and I hope it will help you too!

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. If you’re curious about this “Think-feel-act” model I keep talking about, my coach Edie Wadsworth has opened her coaching program for a limited time. You can go here to find out more information. (Not an affiliate, just a BIG fan!)

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I was thinking of summers past, and all the child-focused activities that used to fill my days. Activities like swim lessons, YMCA camps, VBS and lazy days at the lake.

With the kiddos grown, those days are long gone, but I still want to have a fun summer.

We know that some summer fun happens by magic…but I’ve found, that unless I plan for it, it’s sometimes easier (and less fulfilling) to just sit down for a Netflix session after dinner rather than enjoy some experiences that would be much more fun and definitely more memorable.

So I’ve put together a list of 7 things not-to-be missed for us grownups, and I wanted to share them with you. Let me know if you do any of them, and how you liked it.

Summer Fun for You!

1. Visit a local museum.This is the kind of thing you might do when company comes to town, but I’d recommend you visit just because you can. Thankfully, even the smallest communities often have interesting museums, and this is just the time to take advantage of it.

2. Take in a local concert. When I lived in the Washington D.C. area, going to the free Sunday afternoon concerts at Constitution Hall was one of our family’s regular activities. I didn’t realize until l was grown how unique an opportunity it was to hear some of the great musicians of our time – and I’m quite thankful now. So this summer is a great time to look at who is coming to town, and go enjoy yourself.

3. Visit a local night market. I just love the fun and food that pop up all over our nation on weeknights in the summer. Once again, a time of listening to music, eating fun food, and relaxing in the summer glow while browsing local handmade arts is special and fun, and unique to the season.

4. Sign up for summer classes. Ever wanted to take a painting class, or learn how to calligraphy? Or how about flower arranging? Summer is a terrific time to try something new. Many local businesses offer summer classes, as do most Community park and recreation programs. Check out what’s on offer and jump in.

And speaking of jumping in.

5. Go swimming. Whether it’s your backyard pool, the neighborhood hot spot, or your local YMCA, find a pool and go swimming. It’s such a fun activity, and even if you’re just enjoying a good book along the side and popping in every 30 minutes or so to cool off, it’s still such a relaxing way to spend an afternoon.

Of course, I have to mention reading.

6. Try a new genre you normally don’t read. Are you a fiction person? Then try a biography or autobiography. Is Science Fiction your thing? Pick up a true crime book and see what you think. Romance all the way? Stretch yourself and grab one on self-improvement. You know I love to read, but I must admit, I usually only pick a few types of books. So I’m going to challenge myself to stretch and read something new.

7. Play a sport! Of course, I’m going to recommend Pickleball, which anyone can play no matter their age, size, or abilities. But there are other sports after all, and this summer is a perfect time to seek out a softball league, a volleyball pickup game, or dust off your tennis racquet and head for the courts. Nothing gets your mind moving like a fun game of sport.

There are so many different things I could add to this list, but this should be enough to get you started.

Don’t let work and tiredness cheat you out of having a really fun summer. With a little effort and forethought, this really could be your best summer ever.

Love ya and cheering you on,

Christy

The post Making It Your Best Summer Yet appeared first on Christy Largent.

Gratitude. The foundation for a Positive Life, and the foundation of our Positivity Principles. Gratitude. Easy to think about, but sometimes difficult to live.

In this podcast, Christy gives 3 simple ways to incorporate more gratitude into your life.

Key Idea:

• Gratitude is simple, but takes practice to become a habit.

Resources:

• Christy’s Website

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text “31Positive” to 44222

Book:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 5 Minute Motivation – Gratitude appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

You get to create the environment you want to create. Positivity can be learned with work and effort.

Resources: 

• Christy’s website

Books:

• 31 Positive Communication Skills for Women, Christy Largent

Mindset:

• The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text 31Positive to 44222

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 048 Welcome Back Podcast appeared first on Christy Largent.

January is almost over, and I didn’t quite finish what I started.

But, here’s the good thing. It’s turning out even BETTER than I had planned!

Starting with the clearing out  — I decluttered extensively and filled my car twice with trips to the Goodwill. Win! The storage closet in which I was planning to store the out of season leftovers, fell down into the clothes closet below. I know. Don’t ask.

But, the positive result will be even better storage once my husband completes the repair project. So let’s call that a not quite checked off the list but well on it’s way to completion success!

If you want to declutter too, may I suggest my friend Kathi Lipp’s easy to read and even easier to put into practice book, Clutter Free. You’ll love it and it will help you declutter your life!

Regarding the second part of my goals…here’s where it gets interesting…

As I was working on the content to be added to my website, I knew I needed video of me speaking, testimonials, information about my programs and an updated about me page. I wanted it to look like a speaker’s site, not a blogger/podcasters site.

I found some super smart people to help me with the technical aspects of this, and I began researching sites of some of my favorite National Speakers Association speakers to see what ideas I could steal borrow and change to make my own.

There are some awesome people out there to emulate! People like Neen James and Connie Podesta and Laura Stack and Tami Evans. And lots more incredible women who are really dominating in the public speaking space.

In the course of my research, I was drilling down to make sure my message was crystal clear on every level. I reached out to Neen James, who is known for her dynamic and fun delivery combined with her stellar content. I had seen her speak this past July at the NSA Convention, and was very intrigued with how she had packaged and delivered her message.

She was so helpful! She basically told me what I had come up with was no good and not unique at all. Boring. Her magic words were, Christy, I looked at your site, and I can’t book you from what you are telling me there. I don’t know what you offer.

Yikes! Just what I needed to hear. (Actually, I thought my site was shaping up nicely! So how awesome to get that kind of honest and relevant feedback!)

So in the past 2 weeks, I’ve gotten to work drilling down to the essence of Christy. Neen asked me, What have you put your 10,000 hours into Christy? What lessons have you learned over and over and over in your life that you can share with your audience? 

I’m still working on teasing it all out, but I am so close! And I’m so excited! Because instead of just being a “High Energy Motivational Speaker who teaches you how to get along and connect” I’m going to be framing it in a personal and more meaningful way that will be much more interesting and unique.

Which means YOU will be getting better content because I’ll be filtering it in a more effective way.

Here’s what I’ve learned from this whole experience. Maybe they will help you too!

1. Even if you don’t know exactly where it’s going to end up, get started getting busy on what you want to do.  The de-cluttering project revealed the storage problem. Had I waited, there would still be piles everywhere and the closet would still be a problem! If I hadn’t begun the research, I would never have seen the huge gaping holes in my website/speaking project.
2. Reach out for help. I knew I couldn’t deal with all the technical changes I’ll be needing in the course of changing my website. I found experts in those areas to help me. That even relates to me reaching out to Neen. (I didn’t know her personally before.)
3. Be willing to look at the same things differently. You know I’ve been speaking on the topics of communication skills, customer service, and personality styles for almost 20 years. This month, I’ve looked at my body of work in a whole new way, and I’m coming out the other end the better for it.

What about you? How did your January go? Are you still on track to make this your Best Year Ever? I hope so.  Let me know in the comments below, or comment on FB.

The post It was Guilt Free and Painless appeared first on Christy Largent.

Nothing spirals downward faster than a negative environment. I knew I needed to fix this situation, and fast!

Here are the 3 things I did. Maybe they will work for you the next time you hit a rough patch.

1. Take a deep breath and assess the situation. What can I change? What is non-negotiable? I stepped back and saw the main things I needed were to get myself dressed, the kids fed and the dog put in the backyard. I also saw that the dark house filled with the noises of anxiety were not helping.
2. Do what you can do and delegate the rest.  I put on some fun music and turned on all the lights. Our surroundings can affect our behavior more than you know. The lights and music helped lighten the tone. I delegated the dog and her “issues” to my daughter and hustled back to get dressed and throw my makeup in a bag – I could finish in the car before my meeting. I had my son pull out the eggs and cheese so I could whip up their breakfast after I got dressed.
3. Focus on the good and enjoy the journey. I did a quick mind re-set while I was getting dressed. I reminded myself that for so many years I had longed for children with a desperate longing…in other words…I asked for this!  I said a prayer of thanks for my kids. I smiled. Yup. A physical smile made me giggle. And when I came back into the kitchen, I sang along to the music while I made the eggs. I forced myself to change my attitude. I know a happy heart attitude is contagious.

[Tweet “A happy heart attitude is contagious.”]

I’d love to tell you my kids started dancing and singing with me and happily gobbled up their breakfasts with words of gratitude on their lips.  That’s not actually what happened.

They were still a bit grumpy. But my attitude was better, so there was less tension and I enjoyed the rest of our time together before school much more. Plus I told myself, often it’s what is caught, more than what is taught that sinks in.

[Tweet “It’s what is caught, more than what is taught that sinks in.”]

So when they think of their Mama today (if they think of me at all!) it will be with the happy smile and kiss that I left them with rather than the surly frustrated face of the earlier morning.

And I’ll call that a win.

How about you? What do you do to shift the momentum when things start deteriorating around you? I’d love you to share! Just leave a comment below.

Love ya!

Christy

The post 3 Steps to Create a Positive Environment appeared first on Christy Largent.

Family, friends, food and faith.

Today as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, I hope you will be spending time with your favorite family and friends.  I hope your tummy will be full of the yummiest food of the season.

But most of all, I pray you will find faith in the perfect God-man, Jesus Christ.  And that in the midst of your gift giving, laughter and fun, that your heart will be drawn to the only one born to bring lasting and eternal peace.

Peace between our frail, flawed humanity and a perfect God. Peace made possible by the baby born in the stable. Peace paid for by His perfect life given as a sacrifice. For you. For me. Peace.

Merry Christmas!

The post Merry Christmas! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Several weeks ago I created my first ever community survey. I wanted to know more about you so that I can make sure what I’m creating is meeting your most important needs.

You responded and I got some surprising results.  Here they are – along with why the information matters and what I’m going to do differently.

Results

• You are a dominantly female audience (97%),  and in your middle years, 45-64 years old (72%).  I knew this intuitively, but it was fun to see the numbers. (You look like me!)

• You value education and have either a Bachelor or Graduate degree (66%) or at least some college 25%. Clearly, you are a lifelong learner.
• Your total household income is more than $75,000 (65%), and  you can be found in a huge variety of job positions, so much so, there’s no 1 thing that jumps out. I love that you bring an incredibly diverse scope of background and skills.

• Social Media Use was my biggest surprise.
  • Facebook was #1 (93% ranked it #1)
  • YouTube (79% ranked #2 or #3) virtually tied with
  • Pinterest (75% ranked #2 or #3).

• You don’t listen to my podcast. (72%) (Many of you said you wanted to listen, but were too busy to fit them in.)
• You want to learn from me…
  •  #1 Communication Skills and
  • #2 Self Development strategies.

• Your Biggest Challenges…
  • Finding time to do what needs to get done (61%) and
  • Desire to improve professional growth (45%), then
  • Life/Work balance (35%).

Your dreams…travel, being fit, creating a business and spending time with your family all rose to the top. We women really do want to do it all!

My top 5 Action Items based on the survey…

1. January 5th I’ll be offering a free webinar to help you dig deep to Discover your Calling and Develop your Plan for the new year.  More info. on that will be coming shortly. (It will have a wonderful name I’m sure, I just haven’t come up with it yet…title ideas welcomed.)

2.  I’ll continue finding excellent outside resources to recommend. The first is available now, 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever, by Michael Hyatt, and then in January there’s a free Peak Performance Summit you can register for here now. More on both of these as we go.

3. I’ll be creating YouTube tutorials focused on communication skills and strategies to help you communicate most effectively (get what you want!)

4. My podcast is going to reformatted into a short 5-10 minute production that you can fit into your busy schedules.

5. Finally, I’m going to send the survey at a different time of year. (Feb or March will be good.)  Late fall is such a busy time of year, I know many of you wanted to take the survey, but just couldn’t squeeze it in. So, next time I’ll find a less “intense” time of year to send so I can get even more feedback.

Thank you so much! I just love connecting with you and I’m excited about the year to come. What are you excited about this for this coming year? I’d love to hear what’s top of your mind! You can comment here or better yet…(see, I’m learning…) “like,” then post on my Facebook Page here.   Love ya!

Christy

The post Community Survey 2015 Results appeared first on Christy Largent.

And that conversation led me to think about the expectations I put on myself.  There’s no life “monitor” waiting to give me a “grade” at the end of my life. Right? Yet I frequently act, that is, think as though I must go through life working for an A+.

And then, when I don’t get the Christmas Cards sent, (Seriously people, this is a challenge for me! Those receiving cards from us this year will be blessed by the arrival of 2014 and 2015’s cards together!), or I don’t hit my target work numbers, or I don’t lose as much weight as I had hoped…well, I just feel like a failure.

This year was a good one for my goals. I found an excellent eating program that I loved and I shed the

40lbs that had been hanging on for about 8 years. I finally finished and published my book.  I managed to step back and take a few months with my kids traveling coast to coast this summer. By any yard stick, I think that’s a pretty good year.

But then I realize that I’ve gained some of that weight back. And I didn’t speak as many times as I had hoped. And the book was only self-published – does that even count? Oh, and the kids fought with each other for most of that enormous road trip.

You get where I’m going?  Do you do this too?  It’s so frustrating! Because I think when we do this horrible downplaying, minimizing what we’ve done and who we are as somehow “not quite enough,”  we rob ourselves of the joy of the “enough.”

So ENOUGH!

This year as I review my goals from last year and step into planning and dreaming for 2016, I will recognize that anything I think worthy of writing down as a goal is enough. The process of completing the goal is enough. And when I accomplish that longed for dream, I’ll do a happy dance and celebrate!

If you want to join me, I want you to encourage you to check out my friend Michael Hyatt’s new and improved goal setting program 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever.  I have used this program for the past 2 years and will do it again this year.

I have used the tools he has provided. I’ve engaged with the ongoing coaching program offered and benefitted from private VIP FB groups and online coaching sessions with Michael.  I believe all of these things have combined to help me achieve some really big goals!  And I love that! And I want that for you too.

Click here to Check it out!

I believe in this program so much, I am an affiliate. That means, if you decide it’s right for you and you purchase the program, I get a thank you payment from Michael. But seriously, even if I weren’t, I would still be encouraging you to check it out.

I think it’s worth your time to at least look at.  There are 3 free videos that will totally help you now, even if you decide the program is not a fit. The free content will help you get get thinking about how you want to set your intention for 2016 and then recognize the cost of each day of your year…so enlightening!

(The kids and I have a cameo in them too — so fun! You must watch carefully to see us — and I’m 40lbs heavier in the pictures since they were shot in July of 2014, so I can hardly bear it…sooooo Embarrassing!)

Ok, I could go on and on! But I won’t. Instead, I’m going to go get busy on my Christmas Cards, say a thankful prayer with every envelope I address, and know that it’s All. Totally. Enough.

Love you!

Christy

ps – In case you missed it — click here — to check out the 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever program. What will it hurt to look it over? And what will it hurt if you don’t?  xoxoxo C

The post When is Enough, Enough? appeared first on Christy Largent.

You can imagine. It’s heartbreaking.

This week his Veteran’s Home brought in a speaker, Heather McKay, MS, OT/L to train the staff on how to work with people with Dementia.  They also offered a special session for families.  My husband and I attended.

Heather did a thorough and thoughtful job explaining the deterioration of a brain beset with the disease of Dementia.  It’s horrifying to see the stark physical differences between a healthy 80 year old brain and the shrunken, deformed brain of an 80 year old Alzheimer’s patient.

Almost the first question after she finished her presentation was “How do we keep our brains healthy?”  Precisely!  How do we avoid the trauma our loved ones are going through?

Heather gave a list of 10 things we can do.  I did 2 Periscopes about it here if you want to see them.  For you readers…here’s what she recommended. (With my additional #1 mentioned first.)

1.  Cut the Sugar, Flour and Eat Whole Foods.  I must admit this is my #1 because I’ve read the work of Dr. Daniel Amen and Dr. David Perlmutter and others who have done extensive research into the relationship between what you put in your body and how your brain works on that fuel.  Universally, their #1 recommendation is to eliminate sugar and grains from your diet.  It’s not easy, but a worthwhile goal for your best brain health. In the interest of full disclosure and transparency, I’ve struggled with my sugar/flour addiction for more than 10 years…I still haven’t found my own personal solution…I’ll keep you posted on that one.
2. Read.  Books.  Oh my! I did a little happy dance in my chair when Heather said this.  Sugar is hard. Books are easy.  Read chapter books.  Something like 80% of Americans read less than 10 books a year. How are you doing with your reading?  Situational memory is stimulated when you read, put down the book, do something else and then come back to the book.  As you “get back into the book” your brain works it’s situational memory activities and strengthens those brain cells.
3. Keep a Journal.  If you already do this, you’re on the right track.  If not, Heather suggested something simple to get started – create a “Done List” at the end of each day.  We are all familiar with “To Do” lists, and this is the same but in reverse.  Go back over your day and remember all the things that happened. Process them and plan ahead for the next day. Situational memory is activated and brain activity increased. All good.
4. Use Your Non-Dominant Hand.  Something magical happens inside your brain when you switch things up.  Simple things like opening the door or brushing your teeth with your opposite hand will trigger your brain to get busy and get working.
5. Work Crossword Puzzles.  My husband did the happy dance on this one. I cringed. Heather assured us that even those of us who struggle with these puzzles can start easy and work up.  I put “find crossword puzzle for babies” on my list.  I’ll get started on this right away. Really!
6. Find ways to add vocabulary to your knowledge bank.  Crazy, right? I think if you are reading good stuff, you’ll find new words.  Also, it sounds silly, but keep an old-fashioned dictionary at your desk and in between projects, pull it out and thumb through.  Then try to use a new word in a sentence or email sometime that day.  Oh, and I think crosswords work  for this too.
7. Games.  Do more of them.  Strategy and name and face games are best.  When you are struggling to remember a name of someone, let your brain run and try to remember it.  The brain is searching for a file (names are stored a different place than faces (images) are)…so let your brain search.  It can be frustrating, but the more you allow it to search, the stronger the ability will get. Make a game out of it and it will be even more helpful.
8. Exercise your body.  (You know this already!!)
9. Learn a foreign language.  Interestingly, the year I spent teaching english in Hungary I had the most vivid dreams of my life. Scientists tell us dreams are the way we process all the stimulation of the day. My mind was in overdrive during the day, and rebooting furiously during the night.  I’d say that year brought not only personal growth, but brain growth as well.
10. Learn to play a musical instrument.  Ok.  Put it on the list.

Bottom line as I run through these suggestions is for us to keep our brains working. Any time we bring something new to our brains they do a happy dance. And the more we do it, the happier they are!

I have a feeling I could write on each of these 10 individually – they are all so full of opportunity.  Each one of them is a choice. I was challenged to at least recognize that I have some control now over how my brain might turn out later.

How are you strengthening your brain? Shoot me a quick tweet or leave a comment here. I love hearing from you!

Love ya,

Christy

The post Top 10 Tips for a Super Connected Brain…and Life! appeared first on Christy Largent.

What a year this has been and now here we are just 90 days left until we’re celebrating the entrance of 2106.  Are you ready for all the hustle and bustle of the end of year?

I’ve decided to go ahead and get my Christmas cards sent out in the next few weeks.  You see last year’s cards are still sitting on the office shelf a-waiting their signing and stuffing.  I figure I’ll just write a new letter, snap a few new pictures and add the whole kit and caboodle into last year’s envelope and call it done.  Can you relate?

Actually, that’s what I call falling forward.

Things don’t work out as you had planned.  Your goal to _______________ (you fill in the blank) was missed by a New York mile.  And I figure that’s ok, in fact my experience shows, that’s LIFE.  So, here’s the question. How can we dig down into the essence of it, grab the really important part, regroup and once again move forward towards what we want?

And it’s not just with Christmas cards is it?  That book you started. The weight you had hoped to shed. The garden you had dreamed of getting landscaped. The clients you had hoped to connect with.  All worthy goals.  And yet here we are on October 1st and they are still incomplete.

I want to encourage you to stop and ask yourself what’s really important to you. Once you dial back into that core foundation, then it’s time to figure out what you want to focus on for the next 90 days.  What activities will move you towards accomplishing what you set out to do back last December or January?

It’s not too late.  I promise.  No matter how many times you miss, you can always try again. At least that’s my motto.  Revisit and make sure you really wanted it? Yes! And then once that’s done, get back on that horse. Or should I say, pick up that card, stuff that envelope and stick on that stamp!

I’m SO happy to be back with you.  Let me know what you’ve been doing.  You can leave a comment or just send me a tweet over on twitter.

I’m also Periscoping daily, so I’d love for you to join me there as well!  More on that later.

Hugs,

Christy

The post Fall-ing Forward appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here are the 3 steps I use:

1. Consider where you were when you set the goals.
2. Look at what you’ve accomplished so far.
3. Consider what’s still left to do and readjust if necessary

Encouraging Word for the day:  Psalms 20:4  “May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans.”

The post #513: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Purposeful (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When I say, “I’m responsible for getting the kids to school,” it sure doesn’t sound like much, but I have a feeling you can relate to the way that 1 responsibility can so wreck you that by 7:45am you feel like you are already DONE! (Or am I the only one?)

I’ve been trying a variety of things to create a good morning routine.  I’ve really loved the The Miracle Morning that Hal Elrod put together.  Remember when I talked about it here?

But I still felt like something was missing. And now that school will be out in only 3 more days, I know it’s more important than ever for me to settle in and pick something that will work consistently.

Enter my amazing friend, Crystal Paine.   You know I talk all about Crystal and her MoneySavingMom.com blog all the time.  I just admire her so much.  She’s so disciplined and organized and strategic.  (Don’t we just love our opposites!)

I’m so excited to let you know that she has a terrific course called Makeover Your Mornings that’s been incredibly successful in 2015 and now in 2016.

I went through the whole course and it was so simple and fun.  Using videos that include glimpses inside her real life, I was so engaged, I watched all 14 episodes in just one sitting!  And I have a sneaking suspicion you’re going to love it too.

Crystal has created the Make Over Your Mornings course to help you revolutionize your productivity, streamline your days, eliminate decision fatigue, cultivate your soul, and MORE!

Some of the topics covered in this program include:

• Discovering why a well-planned morning revolutionizes your whole day
• Establishing bedtime routines
• Designing a morning routine centered on your biggest priorities
• Goal-setting
• Setting up a task management system
• Prioritizing exercise and healthy breakfasts
• Creating internal and external motivators
• Establishing accountability
• Battling lies
• Building stamina when things get tough

But what I especially love is that all this goodness is packed into a simple, three-fold approach:  a chapter to read, a video to watch, and a project to complete – all of which will take no more than 15 minutes of your time.  We all have time for that! 

I think this tiny investment — just 15 minutes of your day – anytime of day by the way — can yield potentially amazing results for you and your family.  

But Crystal’s not the Money Saving Mom for nothing!  And this course is unbelieveably priced!

I know! Crazy, right?  I mean seriously, if you get even 1 good tip it’s totally worth it!  So head on over to MakeOverYourMornings.com and get in on the rock-bottom price for this fabulous course!

So as we head into the middle of another month, I know your best first step is to take a breath and discover Crystal’s Makeover Your Mornings program.

Who know what might happen?  It might, just might, be the first step towards making over your life!

P.S. I’m so happy to be an affiliate of Crystal’s on this program.  I believe in the program and am so thankful to be able to share it with you.

The post Makeover Your Morning and You Just Might Makeover Your Life appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I want to share a few words of encouragement.  Sunday’s holiday used to be one of the saddest days of my year.  I know the pain of dashed hopes and deferred dreams.  And I’ve found some ways to navigate that I think might be helpful to you too.  Listen in for more!

Key Ideas:

1.  Remember – “Not now” doesn’t mean “Never”

2.  Managing Expectations

3.  When the difficulties come, hang on.

4.  Look for the sunshine

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Psalm 37:4  “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you all the desires of your heart.”

The post #047: Encouragement for Mother’s Day (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I share the “aha” moment I had that has helped me to do a turnaround when in conflict.  Learning how to be transparent can be transformational.

Recommended Books:

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Luke 6:38 “Give and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

The post #512: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Transparent (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

So here are the 5 big takeaways…

1. Discover your Assets
2. Broaden your perspective
3. Find ways to connect
4. Surround yourself with people who care
5. Pay attention to your heart

Encouraging Word for the Week:  Proverbs 19:20-21 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.  Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

The post #046: 5 Key Life Skills to Enjoy Life More (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember, when giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is more about how to stay out of judgement or assumption, and instead, Be Honest.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #510: 5 Minute Connection – Be Honest (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I’m going to focus on 3 main elements of giving effective feedback over the next 3 weeks.

When giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is all about how to avoid judgement or assumption, and instead, be specific.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #509: 5 Minute Connection – Be Specific (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Thankfully, I have an amazing sister-in-law who reminded me of this yesterday, so I get to share it with you today!

Key reminders about being yourself:

1.  It’s scary.

2.  It’s easier to wear a mask.

3.  It’s totally worth it.

Encouraging Word:  Romans 12:9a (The Message) “Love others well, and don’t hide behind a mask; love authentically.“

The post #508: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Yourself appeared first on Christy Largent.

The post Easter Blessings! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Interview Highlights

• A funny Alec Baldwin story and her podcast “You’ve Got This”
• Finding your direction
• The role mentors can play in your life
• The true cost of clutter

Part 2 – Decluttering Our Lives

• Making hard choices
• Being realistic
• Staying focused
• Perspective Reset – Tim Challies article

Website Links

www.kathilipp.com

www.clutterfreebook.com

canva.com

Kathi’s Recommended Reading

Clutter Free, Quick and Easy Steps to Amplifying Your Space, by Kathi Lipp.

Communicating for a Change: Seven Keys to Irresistible Communication (North Point Resources), by Andy Stanley and Lane Jones.

The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No, by William Ury.

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath.

Connect with Kathi

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ecclesiastes 5:10  “Whoever loves money will never have enough money. Whoever loves luxury will not be content with abundance. This also is pointless.”         – I know this is not very encouraging, but seriously, doesn’t it just fit perfectly with our discussion today!  It’s about relationships, not about stuff!

Question:  Are you a cluttery person?  How do you manage to keep it down?  I’d love your ideas too!  Just leave a comment below, or on FB or Twitter.

The post #044: Kathi Lipp – A Clutter Free Life (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Unsolicited advice will destroy relationships, create conflict, drive division, and push people further and further away from you.  If you want healthy relationships where your friends and family ASK for your advice, then you’d better say far, far away from giving the unsolicited kind.

Today I’m sharing with you a humorous story on this very subject.  I think you’ll love it!…so you have to listen to the podcast.  But if you can’t spare 5 minutes, here’s my advice for keeping yourself from giving Unsolicited Advice:

When you want to start talking, instead, start asking questions.  

I hope you enjoy this today.  I’d encourage you to listen.  It’s short and who knows..it might even change your life!  And if you know someone who loves to give unsolicited advice, please feel free to share this with them too.

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Romans 12:18 “If possible, live in peace with everyone. Do that as much as you can.”

The post #506: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Mysterious Part 1 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s the magic of charisma, and I have a few ideas to share with you about how you can get some too!  Listen to the podcast for all the details…

Key Suggestions Discussed:

1.  Confidence

2.  Questions

3.  Listen

4.  Be interesting

5.  Laugh (at yourself)

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

The post #504: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Charismatic (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

You won’t find sugar coating and happy endings here.  What you will find is HOPE in all capital letters.  Because Michele is not a christian in name only.  She lives a gut wrenching faith through the depths of trial and despair.

Since Michele couldn’t be on the show due to the fact she’s in the middle of healing from her most recent cancer surgery, I decided to review the book and go over my biggest take-aways.  If you read my blog post yesterday, I covered these briefly there, but today I take it deeper.

And I have a special ending where you will hear from Michele herself doing what she does best.  Telling a story.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life Highlights

• With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.
• There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.
• Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.

Part 2 – My Decision before I become Undone!

• Making hard choices
• Being realistic
• Staying focused

Website Links

Michele Cushat

Recommended Reading

Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, by Michele Cushat

Connect with Michele

On Facebook

On Twitter

On Instagram

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Jeremiah 29:11  “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

The post #043: Michele Cushatt – Undone Book Review (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When I started Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, I had a tiny idea of what to expect.  After all, my friend, Michele Cushatt, speaker, blogger, co-host of the top rated podcast This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt, MC for Women of Faith, had been diagnosed with cancer last year.  Or should I say re-diagnosed.  So I knew she had some challenging times in her past and present, I just didn’t know how earth shattering those challenges really were.

Most of us would be buried under the weight of those burdens.  Broken marriage. Single parenting.  Blended family.  Cancer.  Rebellious kids.  Foster parenting. Cancer again.  And again.  Oh my!

But the reason I want you to read this book is not because of how horrible it all is, but how incredibly wonderful it all is.  That’s right.  Wonderful.  Because Michele shares the entire story with an underlying peace and calm that’s completely inspiring.  Her faith is deep and her writing is lyrical, so you are carried along.  Even in the midst of becoming Undone, this really is, as her tag line reads, A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life.

She weaves so many ideas throughout this wrenchingly honest and brave memoir, it’s hard to pick just a few.  But of course I did (since I love 3-point take-aways), and following are 3 things I want you to remember the next time YOU are coming Undone.

1.  With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.  When Michele was struggling with chronic pain, a body that wouldn’t heal, and a root canal in an already raw mouth, she realized she was booked to speak at a huge women’s conference.  This was an opportunity she had worked for and was really looking forward to.  But seriously. Picture yourself in that situation.  As my mother would say, “She was just beside herself.”

But God.  Michele’s prayer, “God.  I have nothing.  Nothing.  You’re going to have to show up in a big way.  The Advil too.  I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”  

Here’s what happened,

“For two days, women who heard my story lined up at my book table, one by one sharing their own stories of heartache;  of broken marriages, wayward children, and the difficult wrestlings of this life of faith.  Again and again, I abandoned a chair to grasp hands with a stranger, close my eyes and pray.  Together we poured out our hearts to a God we desperately needed but didn’t always understand.  Real, broken, in-progress women trying so very hard to live.”

Yup.  What you never thought you could do.

2.  There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.  Story after story Michele weaves a beautiful tapestry out of all the yuck she has waded through.

• A failed marriage brought a brand new ministry to single moms.  And more.
• A tough new marriage and blended family brought a new appreciation for  imperfection and second chances.  And more.
• Cancer.  And more cancer.  I can’t even start on that list — too many good things to write down in this post!  Can you even believe that!!  It’s true!

And my biggest take-away of all…

3.  Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.  Michele had some of the most magical opportunities presented to her in the midst of her cancer and other challenges.  Many of us might have passed on the opportunities because of all the other stuff going on.  But not Michele.  We can learn from her choices.

When prospects of a quickly approaching empty nest were put to bed on the heels of “one phone call that came with three children,” Michele and her husband moved forward into their new life.  It wasn’t pretty, but they didn’t shun the opportunity because it wasn’t what they had imagined.  Instead they embraced it.   And when you read the book, you’ll understand all the beauty that came (and is coming) from that choice.

Can you tell I loved this book!   If you’ve ever felt just a tad bit “Undone” then get this book.  If you have a friend who is the midst of “Undone”, then get this book and give it to her.  Your friend will thank you.  Michele will thank you.  I’ll thank you.

Because really, isn’t that what it’s all about as we struggle through this life?  Encouraging each other.  Loving each other.  All because HE first loved us.  Making the most of every day because the days are short.

Love ya!

Christy

Question:  What are some of the ways you are able to survive when you’re coming undone?  Please leave your answers below, or in the comments on FB or Twitter.

Note: Quotes are from Michele Cushatt’s book, Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life. All rights reserved.

The post 3 Things to Remember When You Are Coming Undone appeared first on Christy Largent.

“That Feeling” = Tight chest, shallow breathing, head spinning, general feeling of high anxiety about all the things I should be doing, hadn’t done or missed doing.

About 6 months ago, I realized that when my body has this visceral reaction, I needed to pay attention.

It wasn’t just the physical I was experiencing.  Because at the same time, my mind was going wild and I felt:  Overwhelmed.  Ashamed.  Anxious.  Behind.  Embarrassed.  Frustrated.  Scared.  Not Enough.  And again Ashamed.

So I stopped, took a few deep breaths, remembered what I was supposed to, wanted to get busy doing, and thought I would take my own minute of re-connection to re-connect with you and share with you what worked for me, just in case you have ever felt like this too.

1. Stop.  This is where you readjust yourself physically.  You MUST do this first, even before anything else.  Physically stop and breathe.  Close your eyes, sit up straight, gently move your head and shoulders to realign.  Focusing on nothing but the air, breathe in deeply, all the way to your bellybutton.  Do it again.  And one more time.  You should start feeling a bit of relief right away.
2. Think.  This is where you readjust your mind.  Let go of all the negative you just veered off course into. Remind yourself of what you want to do.  Your calling.  Your passion.  Let go of the comparison.  (Yup, my guess is that’s at the root of this particular melt-down.)
3. Act.  This is where you do something positive to move yourself in the right direction.  Start doing that thing you just reminded yourself about.  The old saying, “just do the next right thing” really comes in handy here.  You know what it is.  You can do it. Start.

I hope these reminders helped you.  They helped me.  Now I’d better get back to my regularly scheduled programming.

Love ya!

Christy

P.S.  I’d love to hear your stories.  What sends you into a panic?  What is your trigger?  How do you get out of it?  Please leave your comments below, on FB or Tweet it!

The post I Felt Overwhelmed and Ashamed and How I Moved Past It appeared first on Christy Largent.

Most people pad or hedge with the best of intentions, but what happens is the opposite.

Lesson:  Avoid Hedging and Use Power Phrases

You’ll have to listen to get them — too boring to write here.

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  Matthew 5:37 (Phillips) “Whatever you have to say let your ‘yes’ be a plain ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ a plain ‘no’—anything more than this has a taint of evil.”

The post #503: 5 Minute Fridays – Be Straightforward (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today’s Tip:  Listening!

I want you to “Be All Ears”.  It’s amazing what can happen when you stop just thinking about your own agenda and begin really listening and paying attention to those in your life.

• Focus
• Follow
• Feedback

Encouraging Word for the Weekend:  James 1:19  “Know this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

The post #501: 5 Minute Friday – Be All Ears (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The benefits of an unexpected journey
• Finding Mentors
• Her favorite productivity secret Hint:  It’s painless!
• Friendships – finding honest ones
• How to be totally awesome!

• Part 2 – Set Yourself Up for Success

• Sleep Enough
• Plan, then Schedule
• Clear out the clutter
• Get busy and enjoy it all

Website Links

www.karikampakis.com  All the good stuff from Kari

www.handsfreemama.com  LOVE this blog!

www.jeanniecunnion.com  Another keeper! Wonderful.  And her book is stunning too.

www.thehouseofhendrix.com  So awesome.

I love all of these connections.  Kari’s leading you in the right direction with these amazing women!

Kari’s Recommended Reading

10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, by Kari! This is sooooo good!

The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?, by Rick Warren

Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

Connect with Kari

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  “A Time for Everything”
“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

The post #041: Kari Kampakis and Success Tips (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Interview Highlights

• How to identify who you really are in each of your rolls.
• Avoiding FOMO – Fear of Missing Out
• Being intentional and mapping out your ideal month
• Date night suggestions
• Morning and Evening rituals
• The power of authenticity

Part 2 – My Miracle Morning Magic
(thanks Hal Elrod!)

• Silence
• Affirmations
• Visualization
• Exercise
• Read
• Scribe – (Write)

Website Links

Keeping It Personal – Teri’s website

Clarity to Thrive Course — Starting April 6th!

Miracle Morning

Recommended Resources

Overcoming The Nevers: by Gardening Your Life and Nurturing Seeds of Truth, by Teri Johnson

The Uncommon Woman: Making an Ordinary Life Extraordinary by Susie Larson

The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM), by Hal Elrod

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 11:25  “A generous woman will prosper; she who refreshes others will herself be refreshed.”

The post #040: Teri Johnson and My Miracle Morning (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today she shares her best practices with us for how to live life with faith and without pretense.  You’re going to really enjoy her!

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• Using the 4 Things List
• Being vulnerable
• Mommy Guilt
• 14 day challenge!

Part 2 – Exciting Update!

Website Links

Christine Leeb Website

4 Real Moms Website

Christine’s Blog

Recommended Resources

Christine’s Book: In His Light: Facing Fear With Faith. You’ll love this!

The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Ormartian

The Power of a Praying Parent, by Stormie Ormartian

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 126:3  “The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.”

The post #039: Christine Leeb – 4 Real Moms (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I got the iPad as a Christmas present.  Actually, I purchased it the day after Thanksgiving during the Target’s awesome Black Friday sale.  So I even got it for a crazy-good price.  But I wrapped it up and even hauled it on our trip with us.

I didn’t open the box until last night.  Why on earth?

I was trying to analyze why I do that to myself.  I put off really good things.  And I do this with blogging, editing my podcast interviews, finishing my book…and the list goes on.

Do you relate?  I think it must be because sometimes, even when new things are really good, the unknown still makes me nervous.  Maybe it’s that I’m just getting too far down the road, wondering about how it’s going to play out, so I stop myself before I even start.

[Tweet “”Even when new things are really good, the unknown still makes me nervous.””]

I’ve decided to turn it around.  And when I feel like putting something off, rather than turn it all around in my head, I’m going to immediately do something positive about it.

This concept is something I’m going to start embracing.  I LOVE what comes after I do these things.  After all, it’s an iPad!  Can you say…easy-peasy?  And yes, I’m already loving it and wondering how on earth I ever did without it and it’s been less than 12 hours!

And with all the other stuff?  Here’s what I’ve come to.  I’m going to quit telling you hard and fast deadlines about my work.  I’m going to do my best to connect with you in a regular way with my podcast and blog posts and Facebook and twitter.  No set schedule.

I know that goes against all the experts.  But seriously.  I am SO NOT these people who are introverts and schedulers and get-it-all-done-at-any-cost types.  I’m just Christy.

My first priority is my family and many most days they take up a lot of my brain activity, not to mention, time.  And that’s OK.  Actually, I’m really AOK with that.

As you may know, I waited a long time to be a Mama, and I want to savor every moment.

And at the same time, I really love you, my encouragers, who I feel privileged to connect with day in and day out.  And I want to give you my best.

So, with that in mind…all my pre-planned schedules I thought I could do this year are going by the way-side.  I’m going to do my best to get you weekend updates, and twice a week posts and weekly podcasts.  Do my best being the operative words in this sentence.

Ahhh, it feels so freeing to say that.  So you won’t be expecting what I can’t, or don’t, give.  How does that sound?

Question:  What do you struggle with putting off?  It’s more than simple procrastination isn’t it?  How have you overcome that tendency?  I’d love to hear your suggestions!  Please leave a note below.

The post The Sweet at the End of the Stuck appeared first on Christy Largent.

We continued with Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions For Kids by Sara Young, in the car on the way to the bus stop, and we’re actually having a great time with it – discussing the passage and then praying.  Well, I try to get the praying in while they make comments about my prayer from the backseat.

I’m going to start on a scripture memory project with them this week.  I want to start with Ephesians 6:10-18.  I figure if I can make it into a multi-sensory project, it will be much easier for them to learn the passage.  It’s all about the Armor of God, so I think it will be fun.  I’m planning on starting with verse 10 this week.  I’ll post a picture of how the projects came out next week.

What I finished reading this week:
Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creativeby Austin Kleon. I liked this book. Quite a few creative ideas – like separating my work space into creative and non-creative. I’m going to see how I can implement that with my limited space. Quick read and quite thought provoking too.
A New York Christmas: A Novel by Anne Perry. I love this author. Her descriptions of 1800’s England and America are entertaining and educational. This was her typical mystery with lots of hand wringing and agonizing unspoken dramas included. Fast and although not as awesome as her usual ones, I do enjoy these holiday novelettes.
Better Homes and Gardens Kitchen and Bath Renovation Guide (Better Homes and Gardens Home). We have some renovation work to do on our almost 70 year old mid-century modern home. This is a current publication and I got a lot of good ideas. Although my copy is from the library and I’ll be returning it – when we get closer to remodeling, I’ll get it again. Really enjoyed this.

This week I’ll continue with the ones I either haven’t started or didn’t finish from last week, and I’ve added a few more.
Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child’s Heart with God’s Extravagant Grace, by Jeannie Cunnion. I’m LOVING this book! I’m so glad I bought it. It has all kinds of great suggestions for loving and discipling your child in a way that makes sense. I highly recommend this! I’m savoring it and taking my time reading it.  I’m going to try and get Jeannie on as a podcast guest to talk about this book.  I think you would LOVE it too!
The Attributes of God: A Journey into the Father’s Heart by A. W. Tozer. I’m so excited to dig into this one. I’m working on the beginnings of a new book idea and this is part of my research.:)
The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM)by Hal Elrod. You guys. This book is an answer to prayer! For more than a year I have been saying I want to get into a morning routine…but I just haven’t been able to. I’m not even sure why it’s been so difficult, but I just haven’t been able to dig in. But can you believe it? I finally found the answer.

Last night as I was driving down I-5 headed to speak for a fundraising dinner, I turned on Jaime Tarde’s podcast and heard her talking with Hal. Unbelievable. Seriously. I felt like the heavens opened up and threw down just exactly what I had been searching for. I’m going to start living the Miracle Morning this week (tomorrow!), so I’ll let you know how it goes for me this time next week. Who knows? It could be just what you are looking for too!

And of course, if I have time, I’ll whip out John Grisham’s latest, Gray Mountain: A Novel because seriously, who doesn’t love a good John Grisham?

Wellness Journey
Holy Smokes! What an awesome week it has been! I’ve stuck with my program and as of Thursday the 22nd I was 13 lbs down from January 2nd. Wowzers! I feel amazing. This morning when I woke up I felt like my old self. Super happy and positive and full of energy. I remember when I did a cleanse back in 2013, my husband’s comment to me was “you’re just so nice!” Ahem…could it be that this healthy eating with out sugar and junk is positively affecting my personality and behavior? Me thinks we may be on to something!

• Yoga 3 times a week feels amazing.
• Making sure I get 7-8 hours of sleep.  This is huge because all kinds of research is confirming the negative impact lack of sleep has on metabolism. I’m determined to give myself every possible advantage.
• Exercise is included with my Miracle Morning, so I’ll be looking forward to that as well.

I’m just so happy to be moving forward on this goal you guys!  You can’t know how discouraging it is to week after week not only not lose any weight, but even gain!  Week after week and year after year…gets very discouraging.  I just have a feeling getting this on track is positively affecting everything else in my life.  So thankful.

Professionally:

• This past week I was able to get the 2 blog posts in I had planned as well as the speaking engagement last night.  The funny thing with the speaking event was I had prepared a really neat program – but the woman who spoke before me (it was an event to raise money for victims of domestic violence) said something that pricked my heart and when I got up there I felt impressed to give a whole other talk!  That doesn’t happen very often, but when I’m nudged, I’ve learned to listen, so I gave a presentation on forgiveness.  Nothing like a 15 minute impromptu speech.  Thankfully, I’ve spoken on this quite a few times before, so it wasn’t completely off the cuff but I do think it was the message I was supposed to give.  Never a dull moment.
• I did not finish editing my podcast last week.  I had to let go of the idea I would be able to say, “I’ve released a podcast every single week for _____ years.”  You know what, my life is really full and doing my work is just part of it.  I chose to spend extra time with my kids this week rather than edit – and I don’t regret it.  My pride has taken a hit, but seriously.  What matters is so much more than my pride.
• This week I will edit 2 podcasts and release 1.  I’m out of town the following week, so I need to get it ready to go when I’m gone.  I’m also doing 2 interview with some really interesting women, so there should be more good stuff ahead.
• I didn’t make much headway with my book – will work on that again this week in hopes of finishing it up.

Whew!…This is a long post again.  I hope your week was good.  I guess you’ll need to humor me as I work out this exercise of a weekend review.  It’s a good accountability for me, and I hope it’s encouraging for you.

Question:  How did your week go?  Are you living your life intentionally and with purpose?  I’d love to hear your progress.  Just leave your comments below.

Big hugs,
Christy

PS – There was an article this week that said emoticons were actually positive to use in all types of communication – so now I fee vindicated that I can use smiley faces to my heart’s content.

The post Weekend Update Jan 25th appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The magic bullet of Sleep
• Why you should just say NO!
• Power in Planning
• Focusing on Wellness not Weight
• Learning lessons from failures

Part 2 – My Wellness Journey

Website Links

Connie Clay Website

Dr. Daniel Amen and Amen Clinics

Recommended Resources

Connie’s Book – Quit Skinny!: 7 Simple, Sane Steps to Wellness

The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Get Thinner, Smarter, Happier, by Dr. Daniel Amen

Master Your Metabolism: The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body!, by Jillian Michaels

Jillian Michaels: Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism, Jillian Michaels DVD

And I’m adding this since we talked about saying “No” and it’s not easy! The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

And I’m also adding these – since these are helping me get to the emotional part of why I eat what I eat.
Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food, by Lysa TerKeurst

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 107:9  “For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.”

The post #038: Quit Skinny with Connie Clay and My Wellness Journey (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Sometimes getting started is the hardest work of all.

Do you know what I mean?  Doing the work is the fun part – getting started is the challenge.  I’m a great one for planning out and creating a big vision broken down into smaller, actionable steps.  But then I have to stop and go get the kids from school or start dinner, or clean up after the dog.

And once I’m stopped, it’s often difficult to get back into the swing of work again.  So, as a practical matter, I’ve decided to use my early morning hours as a kind of “bonus” time for the next year month, and see how it works out.  I’ll let you know!

I’m behind on my podcasts and obviously on my blog posts as well…to be honest, I’ve been a bit distracted as I’m beginning a new nutrition plan. (Notice how I didn’t say “diet”.) After doing all my work on goals and plans for 2015, the one thing staring me in the face was that big-old-fat goal of losing weight!

I know for some of you, you have NO IDEA what I’m talking about.  You never saw a cookie you couldn’t resist.  But many of you will be tracking along with me here. Right?

For some reason, this weight albatross has been hanging around for far too long and I’ve decided to get some help cutting it off…No, not a surgeon!  But I’m working with both a physical coach and a mental coach to get me realigned with where I really want to be.

Last Friday when I walked up the steps to my first appointment with the health coach, my heart was beating a tattoo, my hands were shaking and I had that familiar tight feeling in my chest. (No, not from taking the stairs either!)

As we got into the meeting and she began taking my measurements, she just chuckled.  “You don’t like this much, do you Christy?”  I grinned ruefully as she added, “It’s written all over your face.”

All I could think about was what if this doesn’t work.  What if I fail again?  And what on earth makes me think I can be successful this time when I’ve failed so many, many times before?  And how embarrassing this whole thing is anyway.

But right in the middle of our conversation I realized this is nothing but that ravaging beast FEAR rearing it’s nasty head once again.  Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough. Fear of…well, you fill in the blank.

Because this time my fear was wrapped around the ridiculous obstacle of weight loss.  But what is yours wrapped around? And how can you be brave and fearless in overcoming it today?

My personal prescription for bravery today includes writing this blog post.  Being honest with you about what’s going on with me feels quite scary and dare I say it…vulnerable?

Because, after all, I’m a speaker and trainer on communication skills – not lifestyle blogging or health and wellness, right?

But one thing I know for sure, is that for me, it’s darn near impossible to keep limping along in failure in this one area, while expecting to be able to give you my A-Game in my professional endeavors. Because after 15 years of this gig – I know you can spot a phony a million miles away.

So I won’t be a phony.  I’ll be authentic with all my foibles.  I’ll lay them out on the table, and then after that’s finished, we’ll get to talk about personality styles, and getting along with difficult people, and how to create fantastic customer relationships, and all the other topics I love to help you with.

I have all kinds of exciting things ahead for us this year.  This month I’ll finally release my 31 Positive Communication Skills for Women Devotional.  Next up I’ve got an awesome free webinar I’ll be offering on the topic of Getting Along With Difficult People.  We’ll follow that up in late February with my first ever online bootcamp — Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  More on all of this later…it’s so exciting!

In the meantime, I’d like to re-vamp my blog schedule a bit.  This is what you can expect.

• Monday:  Communication Skills — Strategies you can use
• Wednesday:  Encouraging Words for Working Moms Podcast
• Friday:  Personality Styles — Bring out the best and dealing with the worst
• Weekend: Update on my weight loss getting fit, healthy and strong journey along with periodic updates on what I’m doing and the books I’m reading.  I really enjoy those posts from some of my favorite bloggers, so I thought since I’m such a reading freak,  I’d share my reading adventures with you.

Well, if you’ve read this far…thank you!  I love you too!  Be sure you’re subscribed to my site to get all the updates, new stuff and freebies I’ll be bringing out this year.

Question:  I’d love to know what your challenges are this year.  Are you already off to the races or are you still circling the bay trying to get up the nerve to get started?  What are you working on this year? What’s holding you back?  I’d love to hear from you!  Just leave your comments below – on the blog or FB – either are great!

The post How’s Your Year Going So Far? My Honest Confession… appeared first on Christy Largent.

As I write this, the tail lights of Christmas are dimming and the bright splash of New Years is calming down and I have to ask myself, “If we were having coffee at the local Starbucks right now, and you asked how my year went, what would I say?”  The first thing that comes to mind is that I want you to know how thankful I am to have you in my life.  YOU, our friends and family, are the best part of our lives. Your friendship means so much to us.  That’s the key take-away from this holiday letter – so if that’s all you needed to hear, go ahead and toss this right now.  If, on the other hand, you are curious about what has filled our lives since we last talked, then read on…

You didn’t get a card last year because…oh bother, I guess I was just too disorganized!  We celebrated my 50th birthday in October with a long vacation in Hawaii and it threw everything into a tailspin.  What was I thinking?  The kids missed school so we took their work with us.  Big mistake.  Note to self.  Don’t do that again. But the sun was hot, the resort was cool and all that made turning 50 just nifty. (Where are my hair color and tweezers?!?)

The kids are still enjoying school at Redding School of the Arts.  Graham is in 2nd grade and Amelia is in 5th grade.  They are both in the full Mandarin Immersion program which means they have half the day in English and half in Mandarin.  They also have a full plate of music, art, and all the rest of the regularly scheduled programming, so they’re stretched.  They are also taking piano lessons and that makes for a fun time of chasing them around the house hollering for them to practice magical music at all hours in our house.  Soccer in the spring and swim team all summer keep us in tip-top-shape…as supporters.  The kids love it and we love watching.

On the extended family front, my Mother and Dad are well and doing as much traveling as they can.  My Mother took a few cruises and my Dad took trips to Dubai, Australia, and London. I can’t wait until the kids are big enough to go with them.  We all celebrated together as my brother Craig (who lost his wife to cancer almost 3 years ago) got married in June to a darling woman, Diana.  After such loss before, the celebration was all the sweeter.

When our local Veteran’s Home opened their skilled nursing facility in July, we moved Tom’s Dad up here from his long-time home of Moraga.  It has made for an interesting year as Tom figures out how to juggle the responsibilities of primary care giver for his Dad with those of being husband and dad to his own family.  He’s doing his usual exceptional job with it all. (In my humble opinion.)

Tom celebrated his 30th! year with his company this fall.  He still loves his job and looks forward to going to work.  The forestry and natural resources world is full of exciting challenges – so it’s pretty neat to see all the opportunities unfold.  He has also managed to fit in finding an occasional geocache – one of his favorite long-time hobbies.

2014 was my big, huge, major, changing year.  I decided that I was going to get back to my first love of public speaking.  Wowzer! Had things ever changed in the 8 years I had been away.  So, rather than just get out and speak, I spent my year starting a blog/website, a podcast, which you can find on iTunes, while continuing to host a local TV Show, The Forum, (episodes available on You Tube), writing a book (check my website and Amazon after January 15th), and filling in with speaking as much as I could, including a terrific Spring Women’s Renewal Retreat at my church.

Oh, and I also ran the San Jose Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon and was chosen to be one of Michael Hyatt’s testimonials for his goal setting program 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever.  I think a highlight was having Michael’s film crew come from Canada to film for the day.  When they filmed me running down our street, it was too much for our hyper-vigilant cautious neighbor and he almost ran us off the road with his dually truck – insistently questioning us what we were doing filming on the street!  Excitement all around. Ha.

We wrapped up the year with a Christmas cruise to Mexico and a few days in San Diego.  It was a relief to let Princess Cruises do the decorating and cooking.

So with all of this we are thankful.  Thankful for the December rains, thankful for healthy kids and family, thankful for you!  We love hearing your updates and seeing you when you pass through.  Please don’t be a stranger!

Our homebase for all social media platforms and to stay connected is www.christylargent.com  Be sure to sign up for my email list to keep up with all our happenings!

Much love and hugs from all of us!

Tom, Christy, Amelia and Graham

The post New Year’s Greetings! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Timeless truths I embraced this year…

1.  You can do more than you realize.  When I review what I did during the past year, and all the new stuff I learned, I’m really encouraged.  Just because I’m not in school doesn’t mean I can’t still be learning and growing and this year proved it for me, and it is true for you too.

2.  Get help.  There are so many people who can help you – figure out what you need and then ask for help.  The right person will appear. The book by Amanda Palmer called, The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help is a great resource if you are ready to get inspired to ask in your own life.

Areas to get help:

• Personally – therapist for help with the inside
• Physically – trainer at the gym
• Professionally – help with technical aspects.  Mentor. Professional development via webinars and conferences.  What conferences will you go to next year?  What seminars will you attend.  Who do you want more of?  You are the combination of the 5 people you hang around the most.  Who are you inviting into your life?

3.  It’s never too late to go for your dreams.  Figuring out what you really want to do is actually fun.  Take the time to make yourself a rough sketch and then start.  Don’t wait for perfection.  Lots of people talk about being imperfect and how to manage your perfectionism…get whatever help you need to get started and then start.  Once you start, then the pieces will sort themselves out.  Michael Hyatt’s Best Year Ever will help you get started with your dreams and then help you get started!

Next year – here are the 2 things I’m going to remind myself of daily so I stay focused:

1.  Take care of myself first.  The biggest “fail” of the year was with my weight and health.  Wait, let me rephrase that.  The area where I had the least amount of progress — and maybe even experienced regress was in the area of my weight and health.

I did train for and complete a 1/2 marathon, but at a heavy weight and kind of with the least effort possible principle.  2015 is going to be different.  I’m putting this effort front and center.  I know all the other stuff will fall into place as I figure out this piece of my life.

2.  Do more of what I love.  When I was doing my goal setting I discovered that of all the things I enjoyed this past year, the best part was still what drove me to work in the first place.  Speaking and teaching still top the charts and make me happiest.  So,  I’m going to make sure and do more of that this next year.  All the other stuff will still be there – but as supporting rolls to help create more opportunity to do more of what I love.

More speaking.  More stories.  More entertaining.  More laughter.  More connecting.

2015 Word of the Year:    Routine 

I have 1 outstanding, terrific and fabulous routine.  Every night I wash my face utilizing a system.  I also floss and brush my teeth.  My morning average is about 95%, but the evening is 99.9999999999%.  And this is since 1984.  30 Years! Seriously, I cannot remember a single night I have gone to bed without washing my face and brushing my teeth.  Flossing is about 98.999999%.  My night-time rituals I don’t even think about.  They are so routine as to be a ritual.  No thinking —  I just do them.  30 years!

Here’s the deal.  If I can do it in one area of my life (my face) then I can do it in others.  So my word for the year is Routine.  I’ll learn to love it.  Learn to embrace it.  Learn to flourish in the midst of it.  That will be growth!

“Routine enables creativity to flourish.”

Encouraging Word for the Year:  Proverbs 16:9 (NIRV)  “In their hearts human beings plan their lives.  But the Lord decides where their steps will take them.”

Question:  What about you?  What did you learn this year?  What are you going to focus on next year?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please leave your comments below.

The post #037: Timeless Truths of 2014 and Focus for 2015 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Oh wait?  You don’t? You say you don’t feel like that, but that you feel overwhelmed. Discouraged. Stressed out.  Oh, good.  Me too.  You’re in the right place, so you’d better read on.

As I was considering what I could write that would be of value to you this weekend, I was reminded that the root of so much of our difficulties during the holidays (and all year long, actually) is nothing more than comparison in disguise.

Comparison.  I’m sure you’re aware of the obvious ways comparison sneaks in.  Fakebook err, Facebook being the easiest and most obvious example.  Instagram and even highly anticipated holiday letters can be added to the list.

It’s easy to recognize the way Facebook makes us compare isn’t it?  Your decorations/children/vacations/husband/job/home/car/jewelry are nothing like the perfect neighbor down the street or the blogger across the country are they?

But, have you ever thought of the most insidious ways comparison sneaks into your life?

Have you ever stopped to consider that every time you compare your current reality with the one that you wish you had, you are setting yourself up for dissatisfaction, discontent, discouragement and even depression.

Worst of all, comparison devalues what is.  A basic tenant of The Grace Advantage is to “Accept What Is”  You can’t do that when you are comparing.  Because when you compare, you always come out the loser.  You are the loser when you feel pride of how much better you are and you are the loser when you see how much “less than” your life is.

Ouch!  Comparison cuts deep even when it’s just with our own idealized ideas of who we or our family should be or could be or even worse, ought to be.

If you’re feeling defeated, here are 3 simple words that just might help.

1.  Gratitude.  Before you start running down the list of “lack” in your mind this morning, stop and give thanks.  Look around you.  Gather your family close and kiss their sweet cheeks and say thank you.  Thank God for a roof over your head (even if it’s leaking!)  Thank Him for your car.  Thank Him for money to buy gas.  Thank Him for the abundance that allows your jeans to get tighter.  Ahem.  Thank Him for the challenging job that takes every negotiating skill you have.  Get the picture?  Get thankful.

2.  Giving.  Give up and give out. Give up your schedule to snuggle close and watch your son play Angry Birds. Give up your plans for the afternoon to meet your husband for lunch.  Give up your expectations for perfection and enjoy the beauty of the imperfection of life.

Give out of your abundance and out of your lack.  Any cans in the pantry you could share with the mission this weekend?  Any books you could pass along to the library? Scheduling time to ring the Salvation Army bell with your kids in front of Target is given out of your lack of time isn’t it? Yet you can choose to do it.

Giving requires you stop the navel-gazing and take a look around.  Who needs what you have?  You do have to look at yourself – but through the prism of how what you have and more importantly, who you are, can benefit others.  You are who you are and with what you have because there is an impact you can make.  It’s not all about you!  (Reminding myself too!!)  It’s not all about you.  But all about others and the impact you can make in their life.  Get giving.

3.  Grace.  Undeserved favor.  Who can you bless with grace this week?  Who can you love and accept just as they are?  Right now!  Without fixing a single thing about them.  Without expecting anything in return.  Undeserved favor.  We all need it.  We all can live it.

When we are thankful, giving and full of grace, suddenly comparison shows up as the ugly impostor it really is.  The counterfeit sensations comparison imparts fade quickly in the face of authentic living.  Living out gratitude.  Living out Generosity.  Living out Grace.

Now let’s get going!  I’ll meet you at the mall.

Question:  How does comparison rob you of joy?  What do you do that works to help you stop comparing?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave a comment below.

The post 3 Words That Can Change Everything appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The positive and powerful results of allowing your work to flow from your passion, experiences and point of need
• What team parenting looks like
• Teaching kids responsibility
• The power of compartmentalizing
• Getting real about where you need help – and then getting it
• Why you should figure out how to surround yourself with people who can do what you can’t
• Giving yourself grace
• Finding peace through obedience

Part 2 – How to Recognize When Quitting is the Right Choice

• Take a good look at where you are
• Recognize that quitting IS an option
• Moving forward
• Using Goals as a measuring stick of what’s working…and what’s not working
• Videos to Your Best Year Ever program by Michael Hyatt

Website Links

Crystal Paine

• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Youtube
• Instagram

Ruth Soukup

• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Instagram

 Recommended Reading

Crystal Paine

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life, by Crystal Paine

Choose Gratitude: Blessings Journal, by Crystal Paine

Ruth Soukup

Living Well, Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life, by Ruth Soukup

How To Blog For Profit: Without Selling Your Soul, by Ruth Soukup

31 Days To A Clutter Free Life: One Month to Clear Your Home, Mind & Schedule, by Ruth Soukup

Finding your strengths….StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Question:  There were so many good ideas discussed – which was most impactful for you?  Have you ever had an experience where you quit…and felt good about it?  I’d love to hear your stories – just leave a comment below.

The post #035: Crystal Paine and Ruth Soukup – The Money Saving Mom and Living Well Spending Less Bloggers Share From Their Hearts appeared first on Christy Largent.

Their reaction surprised me at first, and then it made me laugh, and then it made me think.  As soon as I started talking about goals, I was interrupted by Balazs – one of my brighter students.  “Oh Miss Largent,” he said, “You Americans are so concerned with goals and New Year’s Resolutions.  Why are you so obsessed with these things?  You must be like the Hungarians and just let things happen.”

Join me today as I discuss the power of pursing goals well.  2014 has been one of my Best Years Ever and I credit it to Michael Hyatt and his 5 Days To Your Best Year Ever Program.  I did this last year, and it made a huge impact in my life.

And I’m not alone!  Last year there were over 3,000+ people who went through the program – and there are some amazing stories of people experiencing incredible transformations in their life.  You can see my own personal video testimonial by clicking  here.

I want you to know you can experience the same!

Some key ideas:

1.  Get crystal clear

2.  Write it down

3.  Get someone to come along side to help and encourage you…(register through my link and you can be a part of my private Facebook group, where we will work together, on our Best Year Ever encouraging each other all year.)

4.  Don’t delay!  Registration is only open for the a very short period of time. After that, Michael will close it down to focus on supporting the new class of people going through the program.  Early Bird Deadline! Dec 18th

I have a feeling you might be like I was in the summer of 2013.  Sick and tired of feeling stuck and not sure how to move yourself forward.  If you know deep down that you’re capable of more but you don’t know how to experience the kind of breakthrough you deserve, then go check this out:  I promise you will find 2015 really will  be your best year ever!

Resource Link:  Your Best Year Ever – be sure to click “I’m interested” and scroll down to see my own personal 5 minute story of how the program worked for me last year!

Encouraging Word of the Week: Proverbs 21:5 ESV  “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”

The post #034: Making 2015 Your Best Year Ever (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The #1 lesson for a Mompreneur
• The positive effects of schedule and routine
• Why she uses a family calendar and how you can too
• How to use the “Sunday Summit” to streamline and supercharge your week
• Where to find a safe place for support

Part 2 – Set Yourself Up for a Successful Month

• Sleep Enough
• Plan, then Schedule
• Clear out the clutter
• Get busy and enjoy it all

Because I’m brave enough to show the real way I sometimes (frequently) live!  Oh, it’s painful to be honest!

Website Links

www.theresaceniccola.com

www.icmnetwork.com

www.typeaparent.com

Theresa’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, by Michael Hyatt

Connect with Theresa

Email:  theresa@theresaceniccola.com

On Facebook

On Twitter

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  “A Time for Everything”
“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

The post #033: Theresa Ceniccola – International Christian Mompreneur Network (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The Power of small decisions
• What to say when someone you love is making bad decisions
• To keep secrets….or not?
• How to move forward after a bad mistake

Part 2 – Moving through Messiness

• Honesty
• Forgiveness – Colossians 3:12-14
• Face down Fear

Website Links

www.JacqueWatkins.com

The Mud Stories Podcast

Jacque’s Resource Recommendations

www.momastery.com (Glennon Melton)

Jacque’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp

One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces, by Ann Voskamp

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14  “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

The post #032: Jacque Watkins – It’s a Messy Life (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

In light of the overload most of us constantly feel, I thought it would be helpful and refreshing for us to consider how we can be effective in telling people our thoughts and ideas in a way that’s “right the first time.”  So, here for your consideration are three suggestions to help you do just that.

1. Be respectful of the person.  The next time your employee suggests an idea you think is ridiculous – remember to focus your response on the idea, not the person.  As you are respectful of the person, get specific with your responses to the idea so they know you are skeptical of the idea, not them as an employee.
2. Get to the point.  Head right to the comment without padding it with extra words or fillers like um, and , ahh, so, like, etc.  The more you add needless words to what you are saying, the more likely you are to lose your listener and undermine your credibility.
3. Make suggestions for improvement instead of criticizing.  Many years ago I had a speaking coach who would intentionally sit in on my program and then make suggestions on how I could improve.  Her way of suggesting improvements was fabulous.  She used the “Like best” and “Next time” technique.  First, she would tell me what she liked best about the program.  Then she would say, “Christy, next time, instead of telling that joke at the beginning of the program, tell it at the end.”  By using the like best and next time method, I could hear what was working and what wasn’t working.  The bonus was that I did not get defensive at the criticism because I heard ways to improve…and that is what I really wanted all along anyway.

As we head into the holiday season, I know we’ll all have lots of opportunities to practice communicating with people who are really important to us.  I hope you can stick these 3 additional ideas into your communication toolbox and whip them out the next time you need to say it right the first time.

Question:  Which of these are most difficult for you to do?  Do you ever get stuck when you don’t know what to say so you say nothing?  Have you experienced someone else doing these things for you? How did it feel?  Please leave your comments below!

The post 3 Strategies to Say It Right The First Time appeared first on Christy Largent.

• The various avenues for adoption
• Who is a good candidate to adopt (and who isn’t!)
• Ways to find out more about adoption…

And a ton more…be sure to listen to be enlightened and inspired.

Resources:

www.focusonthefamily.com  A great resource for all things adoption.  Tons of information!

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge.  I mentioned this last week, and it’s one of the top-most recommended books on adoption Diane and I both recommend.

Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past by Betsy Keefer and Jayne E. Schooler.  Another practical resource.

And on Lifebooks:

Before You Were Mine: Discovering Your Adopted Child’s Lifestory by Susan TeBos.

Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child Updated and Revised by Beth O’Malley M.Ed. – so good to do together with your child.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Isaiah 1:17  “Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.”

The post #031: Diane Largent – More Adoption Stories (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

If you are interested in adoption, how it works, who it’s a fit for and how to get started, then you’ll love this podcast. I don’t have a lot of notes this week, as the story is the main thing, but I did want to give you a few great resources if you are curious and want to learn more information.

www.adoption.com  – This is a literal bounty of information on all things adoption.  Seriously.  Start here.

www.adoptionhorizons.com – This is the agency we worked with.  Super awesome!

www.bethany.org – Bethany Christian Services is a non-profit dedicated to helping families.  Specifically in the areas of foster care, adoption and post-adoptive support.  It’s a great agency.  I’m biases because my sister-in-law used to work for them.  Local offices can be found nationwide.

www.adoptivefamilies.com – This is a magazine, but it also has good information on its website.

You can read all about our adoption journey to get Graham here and at joyfuljourneyexperience.blogspot.com

I’m also so fortunate to have won 2 tickets to this adoption conference next year.  Created For Care is a conference for adoptive moms.  My friend who adopted a sibling group of 4 from Etheopia is coming with me.  She went last year and said it was fantastic.  I’ll have to do an update in February after I’ve attended.  I do know they have lots of ongoing support, so be sure to check out their beautiful website.  Thanks Mary Ostyn at OwlHaven for the generous gift!  Can’t wait!

Of course, I have to showcase some of my favorite books to recommend for adoption:

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge. This is a classic. I have read it several times. It’s really difficult to get through, but sometimes we have to look at what’s uncomfortable to do the best for our children. This book is a must if you are thinking of and/or have adopted.

And for after you have adopted…20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed..Discover the Unique Need of Your Adopted Child and Become the Best Parent You Can, also by Sherrie Eldridge.

And this book,  Adoption For Dummies, helped us get an overview of adoption.  Although today, I think you could do better research online at the websites I listed above.

Additionally, there are a bounty of adoption agencies.  Just google adoption and your city and see what pops up.  I’d love to hear about your journey too!

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ephesians 1:5 “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”

Question:  Have you ever considered adoption?  Why or why not?  What did you relate to from our adoption story?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please comment below.

The post #030: Christy Largent – Our Adoption Story (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It was December 2003 and my husband and I had been married almost a year.  In light of the fact I was 40 and had also experienced some infertility issues in my 20’s we knew our time to conceive was limited.  My sweet husband Tom wanted children.  All I had ever wanted was to be a mother, but by this point, I had just about given up that dream and was really enjoying my life as it had turned out.  Lots of travel, a speaking career I loved and lazy Sunday afternoons were my norm and I wasn’t in too much of a hurry to change it.  In addition, I had an aversion to adoption.

But doggone it, during a lovely December week in Maui, Tom made it clear he wanted to explore our options.  So since I was teaching this thing called “Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone” I knew I must not be a fake and I better live what I was teaching.  So I bought a book.  (Of course!)  That book, Adoption For Dummies, was just what I needed to get the conversation started.

Interestingly, it was one of my audience members who helped me make the shift.  During a program in Boulder, mid-December of 2003, he had volunteered the fact that he was an adoptive Dad.  When he spoke of his 2 girls, he literally “glowed”.  As he was leaving that day, I stopped him at the door and asked if I could get a bit more of his story.  He lovingly described how he and his wife had adopted from both Korea and Vietnam, and how the adoptions had enhanced their lives more than they could ever have imagined.  He highly recommended we look into international adoption.

International adoption.  Now that was interesting to me.   I had always loved to travel and had spent a high school summer in Spain and a year teaching english in Hungary.  So with a renewed focus I continued my research and discovered that China was a perfect fit for us.  At that time, Chinese international adoption was a smoothly running machine.  In addition, their adoption requirements were a perfect match for Tom and myself.  They liked older, financially secure, stable couples.  So China was our choice.

But where to get more information?  In those early internet days, information was spotty and in our small town, even more so.  But in a way only God could orchestrate, I was actually in town, speaking to a group of women when I mentioned I was looking into adoption from China.  At the end of my program, a woman came up and said she recommended I call a friend of hers who she believed had adopted from China already.  I called the woman that afternoon and discovered her children were adopted from Korea, but that they were going to participate in a Chinese New Year celebration THE NEXT NIGHT right there in Redding.

The timing was impeccable.  Not only was I home that week (at that time I was traveling 2-3 weeks a month), but the fact I had connected with her just 1 day before the once a year event was just beyond words.  The next night we headed to the event and met 40 other people who had either already adopted from Asia, or were in the process.  We also met a couple who had just signed up with an agency we had not heard of before and they were generous to share all their information with us.

The Chinese New Year celebration was the last weekend of January 2004.  We signed with the agency in February.  Our paperwork went to China in May.  December 20, 2004, in Chongqing, China, we met our daughter Amelia.  It was the best Christmas ever.

So now, 10 years later, our travel has included an additional trip to China in 2008 to adopt little brother Graham, and is mostly family trips.  My speaking career no longer includes non-stop travel and Sunday afternoons are rarely called lazy.  But motherhood.  Now that’s another post.  It’s really been the Best. Thing. Ever.

Question:  What do you think about adoption?  Have you ever considered it?  Would you ever consider it?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please comment below.

The post Our Adoption Story-The Beginnings appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:
Part 1:  Interview

• Effectively using your gifts
• How amazing stuff can happen when you wait on God’s timing
• How to give up what’s not working
• The importance of seeking wise counsel
• Forgiveness
• A strategy to stop comparing
• The power of a great Mission Statement

Part 2: How to create Your Own Mission Statement

“Find out what your lane is”, Courtney DeFeo

1.  Ask – What are my passions and areas of natural giftedness?  

• What is my special passion?
• What do I do better than anyone else?  (Where do my gifts and talents line up?)
• How do I do this?  What does it look like?
• What am I creating/designing/building?
• What is the result I’m looking for?
• What keeps me up at night?

2.  Answer – What are we about?  What am I about?

3.  Application – Write it down, memorize it and use this as a filter for making decisions about opportunities as well as staying focused

Courtney’s Website links and favorite Podcasts:
courtneydefeo.com
Catalyst
Andy Stanley
Louie Giglio

Courtney’s Recommended Reading and Resources:
In This House, We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love, and Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life, by Courtney DeFeo

Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child’s Heart with God’s Extravagant Grace, by Jeannie Cunnion

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

**Watch for her darling “Conversation Cups” to be available January 2015**

Encouraging Word of the Week:  “God has already woven in you a beautiful story.” Courtney DeFeo
Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Question:  What part of this interview spoke to you the most?  What idea did you really connect with?  Do you want Courtney’s new book?  Just leave your favorite parts of this interview below and on Friday, November 14, 2014, I’ll pick one winner from all the commenters.

The post #029: Courtney DeFeo – A House that Giggles and Mission Statements (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

And I guess there’s really nothing like a drama with a loved one to remind you why we’re doing all this communication stuff in the first place.

I can give you all kinds of tips and techniques on how to be a more effective communicator. But the bottom line reason we learn and do all this is so we can love each other better. Right?  We want to learn how to act and speak and express ourselves in the best way so that the people in our lives feel loved.

Does that make sense to you?  Who in your life do you wish knew how much you loved them?  Do you communicate that love? What’s getting in the way of your truth? This morning I’m drawn to think of this…and here are the 2 main questions I’m asking myself.

1.  Is my style getting in the way of my message?  Yesterday I spoke about being a passive, aggressive or assertive communicator.  That message was straight from my heart.  You see,  I am really strong.  I come across as strong. I have to work hard to dial down from aggressive to assertive, and sometimes even assertive is too much.  And sometimes that ‘natural style’ is getting in the way of my message.

When I’m trying to talk with Amelia or Tom about something that I’m passionate about, (almost everything) I think I get too wound up and my words, tone, body all end up sending messages that actually shut them down.  Do you have that challenge?  Or do you go the other way, and you shut down when you get passionate?  I think both of these can be a challenge.  I have to remember, it’s not all about me…it’s about communicating well.  Because I LOVE THEM.

2.  Do I find ways to communicate love even when I’m stressed and busy and overwhelmed?  When I think of all the times I’ve thought of my telling my mother something and not texted her, or bragged about my sister and not called her, or even been angry with my dad and talked about him instead of talking with him, it makes my heart sad.  I’m supposed to be teaching this stuff!  Instead, I so often fail in the execution of the communication.

How about you?  Would it help your relationships if you were more intentional communicating your love to those in your life?  I want to take each opportunity to communicate love and not put it off until later.  Because, as I’m being so forcibly reminded today, there’s no guarantee of tomorrow, and I want to rest assured I’m communicating my love the best possible way every day.

So for now, thanks for following along this month as I’ve posted every day.  Whew.  31 Blog Posts in 31 days.  Definitely a new record for me.  I’ve learned some things along the way, so there will probably be a post about that in the future. (Not tomorrow!!)  I want you to know I appreciate each of you and how you have commented and encouraged me.  It’s meant more than you will ever know.  So here’s our take-away.  Let’s commit together to using powerful  communication to create positive relationships so that we can live purposeful lives.  I think we’ll all be glad we did.

This is Day 31 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Does today’s discussion ring true with you?  Which post, of the past 31 days was your favorite?  Why?  Please leave your thoughts below.

The post Day 31 – Why Are We Working At This Stuff Anyway? (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

So as I celebrated my birthday just this past Monday, I thought it would be appropriate to do an analysis of what went as planned and what didn’t and what was per expectations and what was way over expectations.  Well, I guess you get the idea.

Following are the top 5 lessons I learned in this past year.  Maybe these will help you too as you navigate this life of constant change.

Lesson #1:  Everything will take much longer than you anticipate.

Lesson #2:  The learning curve will be steeper than you imagined.

Lesson #3:  You can’t do everything at once.

Lesson #4:  You will get discouraged.

Lesson #5:  You will succeed if you stay consistent with effort over time.

Favorite Books of the Year:

Fiction:
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie: A Flavia de Luce Mystery, by Alan C. Bradley

Letters from Skye: A Novel, by Jessica Brockmole

Still Life (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache Mysteries, No. 1), by Louise Penny

Nutrition/Health/Faith:
Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth about Wheat, Carbs, and Sugar–Your Brain’s Silent Killers, by Dr. David Perlmutter

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner

The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living, by Nick Ortner

What Happens When Women Pray, by Evelyn Christenson

Business:
The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months, by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, by Michael Hyatt

The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition, by Strunk and White

Encouraging Word of the Week:
Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.”
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

The post #028: Christy Largent – 5 Big Lessons from a Year of Change (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Passive Communicator – “A reluctance and/or inability to confidently express what you think and feel.”

This person is quiet, shy and rarely says what they really think or feel.  They will keep their thoughts to themselves, often taken extreme amounts of time to think about what they will say before they say it.  They expect you to read their minds since they have limited body language and facial expressions.

My favorite story about passive communicators happened when I was speaking in Minot, North Dakota.  I had a group of 40 women in my “Powerful Communication Skills for Women” class.  The majority of them were of Scandinavian descent. (Internal processors and typically passive communicators.)  Throughout the day, I was getting basically no visible response from them.  I would say something funny and they would crack a slight smile or nod their heads.  As someone who gets their energy from other people, all day long I was giving myself pep talks, reminding myself that they were engaging on the inside, even if I couldn’t see much of a spark on the outside.  At the end of the day I was shaking hands at the door saying goodbye.  One after another of the women told me how much they loved the class.  One woman generously proclaimed, “This was the best class I’ve ever attended.”  “Oh, thank you,” I replied. “Yes,” she continued, “My favorite part was how you got us all so involved!”  Inside my head, I was screaming, “When? I missed it!”

That’s a funny story, but it illustrates the difficulty others can have with passive communicators.  Because passive communicators tend to keep everything inside, others can be at a loss to know their real feelings.  They are also very good at using passive aggressive manipulation to get what they want.  (I think passive-aggressive behavior is a post for another day.)

Aggressive Communicator – “Intimidates, demeans and degrades another person – behavior that results in a put-down, causing defensiveness and hurt.”

You’ve meet these aggressive communicators.  They are intent on getting their way and letting you know it.  The classic aggressive communicator can be found on the school yard – we call him a bully.  Or maybe she’s the one in your daughter’s peer group who is the dominate force.  She tells all the other girls what they should do and how they should do it.   An out of control aggressor uses their threat of anger to manipulate those around her.

The Aggressive Communicator uses their body language with their hands on their hips, their fingers pointing at you (while they shake their hand) and the scowl on their face to get their messages across.

Assertive Communicator:  “Confidently express what you think, feel and believe.  Standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others.”  

You love these people.  They know what they want and they share it assertively.  When you finish a conversation with this assertive person, you feel great!  Encouraged and energized because you have been on the receiving end of healthy, life-affirming communication.

So, which kind of communicator are you?  By nature, most of us fall into either passive or aggressive.  Most of us have to learn how to be an assertive communicator.  It helps if your family of origin used good, healthy communication.  But even if they were too far on either end, you can learn to communicate assertively.

This month of October I’ve given you 30 specific ideas on how to be most effective with assertive communication.  I hope you will take these ideas and move yourself into the assertive category.  Your friends, family and co-workers will thank you and you’ll be empowered knowing you can use these tools to create a life of strong, active and relationship building communication.

This is Day 30 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which category do you fall into?  What challenges have you experienced with your own natural style?  How have you worked around your style to get better results?  I’d love to hear your stories and comments.  Please comment below.

The post Day 30 – Your Communication Style (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Choose Generosity.  J. Paul Getty was known for being the richest man in the world.  He was also known as one of the most stingy…even refusing to pay ransom when a grandson got kidnapped!  By the time he died in 1976 he had alienated all his children as well as his five former wives.  Contrast that with Dave Thomas of Wendy’s fame.  He was known for being generous of spirit with himself as well as his money.  Over his lifetime he gave away millions of dollars, as well as hours and hours of his time and passion in his interest of helping others.  He said, “Share your success and help others succeed.  Give everyone a piece of the pie.  If the pie’s not big enough, make a bigger pie.”  Which person would you like to model yourself after?  You get to choose.  Choose generosity.

Value People.  Think of what you love.  Your home, car, boat, jewelry.  I’ll bet you spend time and money maintaining these items.  What about the people you value?  Why is it so easy to pursue the things we love instead of the people we love?  (I actually think the answer to that is a whole different blog post!)  Find ways to value people.  The best and simplest is to listen to them.  Spend time with them.  Help them feel heard.  I was listening to a podcast recently and the speaker challenged us to “add energy” in our every encounter.  When you leave someone, is their energy higher or lower?  You can be an energy giver or taker.  You get to choose.  Choose — every day in every way I will add value to others.

Do It Every Day.  “Do all the good you can, to all the people you can, in all the ways you can as long as you can.”  D.L. Moody.  Don’t wait for your income or circumstances to change – just begin!  Science is now showing how our behavior impacts our mind.  Living generously will make us generous people.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “what are we doing for others?”  Choose to act every day.

My friend Amy Sullivan, has written a wonderful book to help you teach generosity to yourself and your kids.  You can find it here.  The title, When More is Not Enough – How to Stop Giving Your Kids What They Want and Give Them What They Need really says it all. Tons of creative ideas are found here. Additionally, my friend Courtney DeFeo has a terrific program she created called “Light ‘Em Up”. Check it out here.  Designed to be done with your kids, it’s a great way to teach by doing.  Oh, and it’s fun!

In closing, let me leave you with a thought from Ann Voskamp, “When someone stops doing nothing, and just starts doing something, this is what starts to change everything.”  Today is your day.  Start.

This is Day 29 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Is it difficult for you to be generous?  How do you motivate yourself to choose generosity?

The post Day 29 – Live Generously (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When Receiving Feedback:

Ask for clarification.  What’s your response when your boss says, “You don’t seem to care much bout your job these days.” Do you get defensive and react or do you take a deep breath and ask for clarification like this…”What am I doing that gives you that impression?”  Asking for clarification is a good way to slow down the conversation and get it headed in a more productive direction.

Ask for specifics.  When your coworkers says, “You’re really trying to get on the bosses good side,” rather than reacting with a sarcastic or cutting response, just turn it around and ask, “Oh, what makes you say that?”  You’ll shut her negativity down without engaging in any of your own.

Respond don’t react.  Sometimes people give us feedback that we weren’t expecting.  When you give yourself space to respond, you’re setting yourself up for success.  A sentence like “I’d like to think about what you just said and get back with you about it later this afternoon,” is perfectly acceptable and preferable to an angry reaction.  You dictate how you will engage with someone.  Don’t give your power away to them.

Expect the positive.  One time I was speaking to a group of trucking executives in Montana.  Throughout the day I noticed one man in the front row who seemed to visibly disagree with everything I said.  During one interactive time, I asked, “What is it? You obviously don’t agree with me.”  “Oh no!” he exclaimed, “I was just thinking how much I agree with you and that you were hitting on everything that was going wrong with my company.  I’ve been thinking of all the ways I could fix the problems.”  Oh my.  I had completely mis-read his body language and because I had been expecting the worst (based on what I saw) I was expecting a negative response.  What a great lesson.  Look for, and expect the best.  Most of the time, it’s out there, just waiting for you to discover it.

Give grace.  Sometimes people spout off without thinking, giving you feedback that should have much more prudently gone unspoken.  If that happens to you, I’d encourage you to just skip it and forget it.  Life is too short to nurse grudges against people who have said ugly things to you.  Just this morning I had to give myself this very advice as one of my clients spoke extremely rudely and aggressively to me.  My feelings were hurt.  And then I remembered that I could give him grace and just let it go.  All of us have some days that are better than others.  By giving grace you allow others the freedom for a not-so-perfect day…and who knows, maybe next time you’ll be the one on the receiving end of the grace-giving.

This is Day 28 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question: How are you at accepting feedback?  Is it easy for you or do you, (like I), get defensive? And can you share a story when you received grace from someone?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 28 – How to Say It — Receiving Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Communicating what you really think or feel is part of everyday life.  Doing it with finesse and tact is a skill you can learn to master. Giving and receiving feedback is an especially important art of communication.  Today we will talk about giving feedback and tomorrow about receiving feedback.

When you are Giving Feedback:

Be Specific:  When someone is having difficulty with getting their work turned in on time, say, “I’ve noticed that in February, March and April your reports were turned in two days late each month.”  Not, “So, looks like you’re really busy these days.”  The first was specific about the real issue, while the second left the listener wondering what you’re really saying.

Avoid Assumptions:  When you make an assumption like, “I know you probably don’t like discussing this issue, but…” it puts people on the defensive.  When we assume, we’re taking upon ourselves the projected thoughts of another.  Many times we’re way off base! Who really knows the mind of another?  Instead, say, ‘I would like to discuss our report schedule.  Do you have time now or later in the afternoon?”  This gets the conversation going on an even, unbiased note.

Avoid Generalities:  The minute you say, “Everyone knows you’re always late to meetings,” not only does the person become defensive, but you’ve set yourself up to be disagreed with from the beginning of the conversation.  After all, who among us is “always” or “never” anything?  Keep yourself focused on solutions by being specific and targeted in your discussion.

Focus on the Problem, not the Person:  Our tendency is to personalize issues.  When I complain about Betty being selfish and uncommitted to the team because she’s always late coming back from her breaks – I’m not only making an assumption and generalization, I’m also targeting Betty with my words, not focusing on her behavior.  When I focus on the problem – that is that other team members can’t take their breaks when Betty is late returning from her break – the focus keeps me from getting personal and/or attacking Betty.  This helps the conversation stay in productive territory.  Remember, when I target the behavior, then I can ask for that behavior to change for the better.

So, the next time you have to give feedback, I hope you remember these suggestions so that your conversation is productive, encouraging and keeping you on the path of creating positive connections and helping you be purposeful in living.

This is Day 27 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. (And my birthday!)  You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you ever have trouble staying specific and focusing on the problem, not the person?  Do you find it easy to get personal?  I’d love to hear your stories, just comment below.

The post Day 27 – How to Say It…Giving Feedback (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Tiger Woods was once asked by a fan to demonstrate how to hit the ball out of a sand trap.  Tiger refused, saying he never practiced the wrong shot – only the right ones.  I am often asked how to get good at public speaking.  My answer is always “Practice the right shot.”  And the right shot for speakers and communicators is Toastmasters.

Let me give you some background on this amazing organization and then share with you how to connect with a local club.  Toastmasters began in California in 1924.  Today it is an international non-profit organization boasting over 313,000 members in more than 14,650 clubs located in 126 countries.  The one commonality of members is that each is committed to becoming a more effective communicator.  The Toastmaster organization supports this common goal by providing a venue for members to hone their communication and leadership skills.

My own experience with Toastmasters was so positive I became a life-long advocate.  Never have I been involved in a group as uplifting and positive towards each other.  Good communication is not just about talking, it’s about learning how to actively listen, respond and how to give good, productive feedback.  By participating in the weekly meetings, you will learn how to do all of this and more.

My favorite story is about “Larry.”  My first visit to our local club was about week 3 for him.  A part of each club meeting is a section called “Table Topics” when attendees are asked to stand up and speak impromptu for 60 seconds on a given topic.  Poor Larry was so scared and nervous and freaked out when it was his turn, he stood, hands glued tightly to the back of the chair, chin tucked firmly upon his chest and whispered, stumbling and stuttering through his speech topping out at about 45 seconds of torture.  I hurt for him!

Fast forward 12 months.  This time when Table Topics was called,  Larry stood confidently.  He looked around the room as he spoke.  He used humor.  He used voice inflection.  His impromptu speech sounded like it had been planned and fine tuned for weeks.  He not only nailed that activity, but he won the weekly award for best Table Topic!  Talk about a turn around!  That’s what Toastmasters does for you.

That’s why, if you are serious about becoming a Master Communicator you need to get yourself to local Toastmasters club, join, and start reaping the benefits of this connection.  On a side note…each club has it’s own “flavor.”  So if you don’t feel comfortable at the first club you visit, find another and go visit it.  Even the smallest of communities usually have several clubs to choose from, so you’re sure to find one that’s a fit for you.  Here’s a link to help you find a local club.

This is Day 25 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Have you ever visited a Toastmasters club? What was your experience? What other way to practice has been helpful for you? I’d love to hear your stories! Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 25 – Becoming A Master Communicator (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  Your tone, facial expressions, and body language all play a huge part in your communication (93% to be exact.)  You may say, “Yes honey, I’d love to go to your office party with you.” but your mate knows you’re not telling the truth because your rolling eyes, crossed arms and sarcastic tone scream, “Of course I don’t want to go be with all your stupid co-workers for my one precious evening home this week!”  Just be honest and match your non-verbal to your words for positive, effective communication.

Actions speak louder than words.  If your manager asks you to do a project, and you say “Sure, I’ll do it,” but somehow you never get around to actually doing it…be careful.  Your actions (not doing the work) are speaking much louder than your words.  You may think you’re just keeping the peace and avoiding conflict, but be sure your actions will be the ultimate test in the end.  Make sure your words and actions match.

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  Saying ugly, negative things about people or situations does nobody any good, it just makes those around you uncomfortable.  Make sure when you add a comment or idea that it is positive.  A nice comment that benefits others. I loved being around my mother-in-law Shirley.  She was consistently positive and in fact, at her memorial service, more than one person agreed with me that we never heard her say a negative word about anybody.  Now that’s a testimony!  I can only strive to be more like her.

Only give advice when asked.  I’ve covered this extensively on Day 11 and Day 12 when I talked about giving unsolicited advice.  If you need a refresher be sure to read those.  But I wanted to remind you in this list how important it is to keep your opinions to yourself if you want to build relationships and not walls.  I know it’s tempting to tell your 15-year-old nephew that his permed, green, mop of hair is unattractive, but believe me, unless he asks for your input, he doesn’t care what you think, and if you mention it, you will only succeed in building a barrier between the two of you.  You never know when he will want someone to help him get it cut and re-dyed a nice red or something – and if you have built a wall instead of a relationship, you’ll miss out.  No unsolicited advice!

Enjoy every moment as you build relationships remembering this handy list of ideas.  And be sure to thank your Mother for her wisdom as well.

This is Day 24 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these suggestions do you consistently follow?  Which is the hardest for you to follow? I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 24 – Mama Knows Best (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Know – How do you get to know others and get them to know you?  The simplest answer is to be friendly.  When you’re in a new place, stick out your hand to someone you don’t know, smile and say, “Hi, I’m (fill in your name).  This simple gesture opens the door to conversation, and soon you’ll have a new connection.  My college friend, George, reminds me that the very first time he ever met me was in our Speech 101 class when we were both 19.  What he noticed was that I was “working the room”, sticking out my hand, smiling and saying, “Hi, I’m Christy,” as I met all my new “friends.”  Years later, he came to one of my day-long seminars and he just started laughing.  “Christy,” he chuckled, you’re still working the room.”  I smiled at him and said, “Yes, and still meeting lots of new friends!”

At work, everyone already knows you, but hat doesn’t mean you should stop being friendly.  I’e been in workplaces where the employees don’t even acknowledge each other.  There’s no eye contact and rarely a smile.  Needless to say, because they engage with each other solely when required, there’s minimal relationship building and what’s left is a building of strangers who work together only when absolutely required.  I contend, if they were to take some time to get to know each other, their communication and their lives would  be enriched in ways unimagined.

Oftentimes, people tell me they don’t know what to talk about.  So I’m going to recommend a favorite book that will help you with this challenge. It’s a classic and was originally published in 1936!  But like all classics, it’s as fresh today as if it were written yesterday.  It’s called How to Win Friends & Influence People and I’m sure you know it’s author, Dale Carnegie.  You may have heard that this book is full of tricky techniques to manipulate others into relationship with you.  But I found just the opposite.  Instead, it’s all about how YOU can be a true friend to others.  The magical outcome is that when you’re a friend to others, others become your friend as well.  I highly recommend this book!

Tomorrow we’ll talk about the other 2 parts of this discussion – how to build relationship so that people like and trust you.  Until then, don’t forget to be friendly!

This is Day 22 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you find it easy to be friendly, or do you have to work at this?  What tips have you tried that makes it easier to stick out your hand and smile?  I’d love to hear your stories below!

The post Day 22 – Know, Like and Trust Part 1 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember the magic words

• “Please”
• “Thank you”
• “You’re Welcome”
• When someone sneezes – offer “Bless You,” and then pass them a tissue
• When you pass someone in the hallway, say “excuse me”

These simple kindnesses will sweeten things up in no time.

Respond to voice mails and emails in a timely manner

I was listening to old voice mails earlier tho sweet and almost had a heart attack when I heard a message left 6 weeks ago – to which I had failed to respond! Arghhhh!!!  Have you noticed how easy it is to be rude in this technological world?  Let’s all be polite and respond promptly.  If you have forgotten to respond, pick up the phone and call the person immediately to rectify as best as you can.  Using Facebook, twitter, email, text messaging and cell phones properly can help you stay connected and communicating.  Be sure to use them thoughtfully.

Send notes in the mail

Thank you notes.  Congratulation notes. Thinking of You notes.  These all work really well.  My second job out of college (after leaving Capitol Hill) was as a Realtor.  (Of course, one listing and one sale in one year does not a realtor make – I waited tables to pay my bills.) But one lasting lesson I learned during that time was from my manager.  He suggested I get in the habit of looking for articles of interest to my clients – then clip them and send them on with a little note.  I did implement this idea, and have continued it to this day.

I do love it when I receive a little note – don’t you?  This week, you can be the one to brighten someone’s day with a well written note.

Lose the Profanity

When I was doing Improv Comedy, I quickly learned that getting fast and easy laughs with off-color language and innuendo was never the better choice.  It wasn’t the potty humor that lasted, instead it was the richer, more difficult comedy combinations that left the audience sated and replete from deep, tummy busting laughter.  Elevate your environment by eliminating the profanity and using better language.

So, put Mama’s words into action.  I’ll look forward to hearing about your sweetened environments.

This is Day 21 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  What’s your favorite “honey” to use?  When have you experienced the “honey” of others and how has it affected you?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 21 – Pass the Honey Please (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It was while working at an alternative school, she completed her Master’s degree in special education at Lynchburg College and a doctorate degree in Educational Leadership at the University of Virginia.  She has built Liberty University’s education program to include over 1000 students in the special education program.  Additionally, she has developed a love of sharing what God has laid on her heart over the years as a follower of Christ, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and educator.  We are the benefactors of that love today.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Moving through disappointing times
• The power of remembering
• Trust and Obey
• Flexibility and the importance of keeping a calendar
• How to handle negative feedback

Part 2: Dealing with Disappointments

• Remember the past – Wes King song, Remember
• Float instead of fight
• Have confidence in your creator
• Look to the future with Hope

Website links:

www.womenoffaith.com  This is a link to all of Beth’s blog posts for Women of Faith

www.liberty.edu  This is a link to the list of Beth’s blog posts for Liberty University

Beth’s Recommended Reading:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, by Stephen R. Covey

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry by Ruth Haley Barton

Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist

Contact Beth:

Facebook:  Beth Ackerman

Encouraging Words of the Week:  

Isaiah 12:2   “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  What has been your biggest disappointment and what have you done to move through them?   I’d love to hear your stories, just leave a comment below.

The post #027: Beth Ackerman and Disappointments (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I gave you an example of a dialogue with Tara yesterday.  Today I’m going to give you a fresh dialogue along with some guidelines to follow when having that difficult conversation.

1.  Be honest with yourself.  When someone is difficult, check in with yourself and ask, what is the real issue here?  For example, if Mary made a sarcastic comment in front of your team about the way you’re handling this month’s project, your first reaction might be anger.  But when you check in and are really honest, you’ll recognize that it was embarrassment and awkwardness you were experiencing in the moment.  Additionally, when you were “put down” in front of your team, you could be worried it could potentially minimize your authority as well.

2.  Be willing to be authentically transparent.  Tell Mary the way her behavior affected you.  You don’t have to go into a huge long explanation here – and be careful NOT to insert judgements or generalities here.  Don’t say – “Mary, you were a real jerk when you made that nasty comment about my work in front of my team this morning.”  That’s NOT what we’re looking for!  Instead, say “Mary, when you criticized my work in front of my team this morning I was really uncomfortable.”

3.  Tell her what you want her to do.  Sometimes I’ll hear people tell the difficult person they didn’t appreciate the difficult behavior and then stop the conversation.  Frankly, that does no good at all because most difficult people don’t even get that their behavior is a problem!  You must be specific and tell them what you want them to do.  “Mary, in the future, when you have feedback on my work, I would appreciate it if you would tell me privately.”  Short, specific and without judgements should do the trick.

This conversation may seem hard to do. But rest assured if you do not confront the difficult behavior it will continue.  Remember, that which is rewarded is repeated.  When you ignore their behavior it’s a way of rewarding their behavior.  Be sure to draw your own firm assertive lines so you don’t let the difficult people get the best of you.

I hope this mini-series on difficult people has been helpful.  I’ve enjoyed reminding myself of what works when I get confronted with behavior that’s upsetting to me.  I hope you will incorporate these ideas along with me, and let’s see our relationships blossom!

This is Day 18 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these suggestions have been most helpful to you?  Which can you implement? I’d love to hear your feedback.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Day 18 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 3 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

In answer to my opening question, “Why are you here today?” an older man in the back row raised his hand.  As I called on “Bud”, I took a quick inventory.  I noticed the deeply etched lines of discontent framing his down-turned mouth.  His oversized hands were rough and callused and the wrinkles in his khaki work shirt mirrored those scored across his timeworn face.  As he stood, he placed his hands on his hips, thrust out his chest and loudly proclaimed, “Well, I’m the difficult person, and I’m here today to find out what you’re teaching, so when the people I work with try it on me, it won’t work!”  Hmmm….at least he was honest!

Does “Bud” sound familiar to you?  Difficult People.  Over the next few days I’m going to give you some suggestions for dealing effectively with them.  I’m going to help you bring out the best in  yourself first, then them, and even help you diffuse difficult interactions no matter who’s at fault.  Let’s get started with a few questions.

When you encounter a difficult situation with a difficult person, ask:

1.  Will this matter 5 years from now?  How often have you reacted to something in the moment only to realize later that it really didn’t matter in the big scheme of things?  Yet your reaction left disrupted relationships and hurt feelings.  Before you react, stop.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself this perspective reminding question.

2.  Who is getting the power here?  Sometimes, believe it or not, these difficult people just want to throw the behavior, words, attitude out there to see how we react.  (Interestingly, it’s the same thing my 10 year old does when she wants to see me jump!)  When I take the bait, I’m giving them what they want.  How about recognizing my reaction really gives them the power. Instead, let’s stop, and…

3.  How Can I Respond with the unexpected?  When I was verbally accosted at the gas pump last week by the oversized 40-year-old-surfer-dude on his way to the lake, I just laughed.  Based on his aggressive words, I’m sure he was looking for an argument.  But the whole situation was so ridiculous, laughter was my only possible response.  It stopped his aggression and I was left feeling slightly bemused rather than depleted by the incident.

Interestingly, these questions and behaviors are much easier to do with people you don’t know.  I think that’s because we’re so much more invested and connected with those in our close circle.  It’s that double whammy – we do what we don’t want to with those closest to our hearts!

So try these ideas out on your family and co-workers and see what happens.  I’ll love to hear your feedback.  Check back tomorrow for another set of strategies for dealing with difficult people.

P.S. Happy Birthday Dad!  75 Years Young.  And through the years when I’ve sometimes been the difficult person, you keep on being the most awesome Dad.  I love you!

This is Day 16 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these are you interested in trying?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 16 – Difficult People – Strategies & Solutions (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

1. Will this matter 5 years from now?
2. Who is getting the power here?
3. How can I respond with the unexpected?

By asking these questions, you will remind yourself to respond, not react when engaging with the difficult person.  Now, let’s take a look at our actual conversations.

Have you noticed that sometimes a person becomes difficult in reacting to something you innocently said to them?  Well, following are a few key ideas you can employ to make sure your communication is assertive without inducing defensiveness and anger.

1.  Focus on the problem, not the person.  For example, you co-worker Tara is consistently tardy to work 3 of 5 mornings a week.  Her absence creates problems for you because when she’s not there, you have to handle her work load as well as your own.  Your tendency may be to focus on how irresponsible and lazy and self-absorbed you think Tara is by her chronic tardiness.  Instead, refocus and target the real problem here – don’t make a judgement about her – just focus on her behavior and how it is affecting you.  That way, when you talk with her about her behavior, you won’t be accusatory, you’ll just be able to focus on the facts of her behavior.

2.  Avoid absolutes and generalities.  Always, never, everyone, nobody, nothing, ever.  Do those words sound familiar to you?  Many of us are quick to assign an absolute and/or generality to a problem – like “Tara is always late.” or how about “Everyone knows you don’t really care about your job.”  These statements are most likely incorrect since few of us are always or never anything!  They are also general – and will not help solve the situation.  Stay specifically focused on the problem rather than create a defense response by throwing out glittering generalities and aggressive absolutes.

3.  Get specific.  Target the exact behavior that is bothering you.  For example, instead of saying to Tara, “You’re always late!”, begin your discussion by saying “Yesterday, when you were 10 minutes late to work…”  By getting specific about what you are talking about, and letting them know precisely what you are having trouble with, then you keep the discussion on track and targeted.  The more specific the better.

4.  Clearly state the specifics and then tell them what you would like to see them change.  For example, your conversation with Tara might begin like this; “Tara, when you were 10 minutes late to work 3 times last week I feel really frustrated. I have have to cover my work as well as your own.  I would appreciate it if you could be on time for work, or make arrangements for someone else to cover your duties until you arrive.”  Notice how specific that was?  It had complete facts as well as what I wanted her to do differently.

There’s so much we can talk about when it comes to clear, assertive communication to use especially when dealing with difficult people.  I’m out of room for today, but tomorrow I’m going to give you a few more ideas.  I’m so glad we’re only 1/2 way through the month!  There’s so much more good stuff left to discuss!

This is Day 17 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you have trouble staying specific?  What do you do to keep from using generalities and assumptions?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 17 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

2.  The Priority No.  This is the one you use with your boss.  When she comes running to you and asks you to drop what you’re doing and get to work immediately on this newer, higher priority project, here’s what you do.  Calmly pull out your list of priorities (discussed with and approved by your boss at the beginning of the current week), and ask her which of these other, prioritized items, she would like you to take off the list so that you can add her new priority project.

This little ploy will remind your boss that you are working off a priority list, and will either cause her to a) go find someone else to do the job – someone who is not working off a priority list, or b) re-think and re-assign the planned-on projects.  Either way, you in a good spot because you’re sticking to the projects as planned, and you won’t get penalized later for not finishing your priority list.

The one thing the Priority No requires is…yes, you guessed it…Priorities!  Even if you work in an environment where priorities are not discussed – or things are unorganized and randomly worked on, you personally, need priorities.  Take this opportunity to review what you are doing and make sure you are on track to reach your goals.  In order to reach your goals, my guess is that you’ll need to set priorities.  I love this method of saying no because it always pulls me back to what’s really important.  Now, I just have to remember to use it!

3.  The Full Plate No.  This is the one you use with your friends and co-workers when they want to rope you into another “good cause” for which you really don’t have time.  For example, for the past 5 years you have enjoyed organizing the office holiday party. This year, however, you have begun taking night classes and you are too overloaded to organize the party.  So, when they ask you about organizing the party again this year, you simply say, “Thank you for asking, however, my plate is really full right now, I’m going to have to pass on organizing the party this year.”

Notice how simple this is!  No long list of reasons or excuses, just a simple “no thank you.”  It’s a clean and simple get-away, and leaves everyone feeling positive.  This Full Plate No leaves you feeling empowered as you draw clear boundaries, and leaves the other person impressed you were able to clearly express your desires.

If saying No is a difficult area for you, I want to recommend a fabulous book by Lysa TerKeurst called The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands. This is a terrific, practical, best seller by one of my favorite women.  Lysa dives deeply into this topic and give you practical strategies you can put in place to make sure you are living out The Best Yes!

This is Day 15 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these techniques to help you say No.  I’d love to hear your experience.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 15 – 3 Ways to Say NO, Nicely. Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Do you have trouble saying the ‘N’ word?  Do you find that because you can’t say NO, you end up involved in all sorts of things you don’t really want to do?  Or are you one of those people who has no difficulty saying No.  So much so, that people perceive you as self-centered and not a team player?  If you can relate, read on.

Following is the first of 3 ways to say No.  Using these ideas will help you build relationships rather than put a strain on them, while still making sure you end up doing only, and exactly, what you want to do.

1.  The 3×5 No.  Use this with someone you supervise, including your teenager!  Here’s an example from home.  You can take it and extrapolate it out for the office or whatever your situation.

Your daughter comes to you and says, “Mother, I have to get this $300.00 purse, and I have to get it now!”  Now you know that a $300 purse is not in the budget no way, no how, but you don’t want to say “NO!” again.  (Or if you are like I am, say “Are you out of your cotton-pickin’ mind?”) Ahem…

Instead, here’s how you handle it.  “Sweetheart,” you reply, “I want you to have this beautiful purse.  It’s gorgeous and stylish and I can see exactly why you want it.  My problem is that a $300 purse for you is not in our family budget.  Here’s what I would like you to do.  Take this 3×5 card.” (Hand it to her.)  “On one side you can write $300.00 purse and on the other side, I want you to list all the ways you can think of to pay for this $300.00 purse.  When the card is full of ideas, I want you to bring it back to me and we can discuss the options.”

The amazing thing about this method is how creative people can be when they really want something.  Your daughter will come up with all sorts of terrific ideas you would have never thought of ~ and because it’s her idea, she can’t complain about it later.  You will want to try this with your employee the next time they get negative about your solution to a problem.  Ask them to come up with alternatives and watch the positive energy rise.  Reminder — don’t use this one with your boss! 

This 3×5 No is a very empowering way to teach problem solving skills.  It’s also a great way to keep the environment positive and pro-active.  Check back for the next post when I’ll give you 2 more powerful suggestions.  Now, excuse me please, I have a call to make.  There’s a committee I’ve got to go extricate myself from…

This is Day 14 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you have difficulty saying No? I’d love to hear your experience. Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 14 – 3 Ways to Say NO, Nicely. Part 1 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Did you know that in the world of communication and relationships there is also a plague?  It is a plague that goes largely unnamed and unchecked – a plague that affects virtually every one of us.  Despite it’s alarming range, there are not many of us yet immune to it and its devastating effects.  Most of us have even been guilty, at some point, of not only being a carrier of this disease – but of actively passing it on to someone else!  What is it you ask?  The problem is the plague of giving unsolicited advice.

Are you a carrier?  Have you been infected?  Or have you been inoculated just enough to make you immune to it from others, but still wickedly powerful in your ability to spread its devastation?  Not sure?  Then read on…

Definition:  Unsolicited Advice is when you offer your opinions, suggestions or ideas to someone about something they are doing or planning, before they ask for your input.  I know most of us have excellent motives when we offer up these little truffles and tidbits of testimony.  But if you are brutally honest with yourself, you’ll recognize how frequently your unrequested suggestions are rebuffed or brushed away, not to mention met with defensiveness and ultimately rejection.  So, what’s the cure?

Ask:  What gives me the right?  This cure was found in the extremely helpful book by Doris Wild Helmering, Being Ok Just Isn’t Enough: The Power of Self-Discovery .  Ms. Helmering suggests that this is the first question you should ask before you open your mouth.

Ask yourself…What give me the right to tell my friend where to park as we’re circling the mall looking for a parking spot?  What gives me the right to tell my co-worker how to “more effectively” do the project he’s working on? Or how about this…What gives me the right to tell my husband how to trim the bushes?

Ooooh!  Got your attention on that last one didn’t I?  You probably responded – “But I have the right because it’s my yard too!”  And you would be correct.  You do have the right.  In my part 2 of this post, I’ll elaborate on how to process this – when you do have the right to give unsolicited advice.  The question becomes…should you?  I propose that when you don’t have the right, that is, it’s none of your business, you keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself.  But when you do have the right.  I also propose you ask yourself a few questions before you open your mouth and spout your opinion or suggestion.  Check out the next post for what those questions are…

This is Day 11 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you give unsolicited advice?

The post Day 11 – A Widespread Plague (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• The importance of being proactive with your activities (and what happens when you aren’t!)
• What happens when you switch careers mid-life
• Why difficulties are not the end of the story
• “We learn the most when we feel weakest and most afraid”

Part 2: What I learned when I felt my weakest and most afraid

1. Look at myself first
2. I can let go of the outcome and trust God
3. Just do the next right thing

Website links:  (This week we discussed)

 https://loriandsteven.wordpress.com/

www.sacredspace.ie

www.momastery.com

Lori and Steven’s Recommended Reading and Resources:

15 Ways to Make Love Impossible, by Lori and Steven McClure

Noisetrade – Free Download of their book here

The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out, by Brennan Manning.

A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis.

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  2 Corinthians 12:9 (New Living Translation)   “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

Question:  What was the most encouraging part of this interview?  Are you going through any rough times that would make these ideas helpful?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.  And I’d love to pray for you too. Please leave your comments below.

The post #026: Lori and Steven McClure and Learning through Weakness (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

And do you know, his behavior problems “magically” disappeared, and she ended up having a great year…with the whole class.  You see, she had the same conversation with each student, and they all rose to her vision and expectations for them.  In the business world, we call this using Praise, Rewards and Recognition to develop your people.  At home, I call it helping myself stay sane.  Do you realize people respond to your expectations?  In study after study, scientists have observed the power of positive expectations. So whether you need this technique at home or work or both, let’s take a look at how you can bring out the best with positive expectations.

Praise:  Look for positives and respond.  Once, while I was doing a training in Arkansas, a supervisor from the Little Debbie factory raised her hand and said, “My workers are working hard at a difficult and repetitive job on an assembly line.  I always like to catch ’em doing something right!”  You can bet she had motivated and empowered workers.

In order to come across as authentic with your praise, makes sure it is both sincere and specific.  People believe you are sincere with your praise when you are specific.  For example, if you tell your employee, “I really appreciate you.  I know you’ve put in a lot of extra time on this project and I appreciate it.  Thank you for your hard work and your attention to detail.”  Your employee will be energized and motivated to do even more.  And I must add, with certain employees, a letter spelling out this praise will be most highly valued of all.

We know people work harder for praises than raises.  Most importantly though, they will know you sincerely appreciate them…you told them so with Praise.

Recognition and Rewards:  Create an environment for people to look good!  When you walk in the door of the Arbonne International headquarters, almost the first thing you see is a huge wall filled with pictures of top achievers in the company.  These achievers are recognized for their accomplishments.

Focus positive attention on the quality of work and keep it there.  My 5th grade daughter is intensely focused on getting all her homework finished on time, and finished perfectly so she can participate in her teachers’ “Friday Rewards”.  And the even bigger goal is the “Perfect week, Perfect month” reward.  And on top of that, each test holds the potential of receiving a “Big Cookie” for a 98% or higher on the test.  Her teacher has tapped into the power of recognition and rewards for her 4th and 5th graders.

There are all kinds of way you can incorporate Praise, Recognition and Rewards into your communication life.  If you’re short on ideas, I recommend a book called The Carrot Principle: How the Best Managers Use Recognition to Engage Their People, Retain Talent, and Accelerate Performance by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton. It’s loaded with great ideas you can implement immediately both at work and home.

This is a perfect time to re-commit to the power of positive.  Love the people in your life this way.  They will thank you and both morale and satisfaction will soar.  And a brand new resource to help you stay positive is Crystal Paine’s (Money Saving Mom) Choose Gratitude: Blessings Journal. There’s nothing like focusing on the good to help you stay positive.

This is Day 8 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you find it easy to focus on the positive this way?  What are some good ways you have given praise, recognition and rewards?

The post Day 8 – The Power of Positive (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Quiz:

1. Has anyone ever told you they “didn’t know how you would take it,” so they avoided telling you important information until after the fact?
2. Do you have difficulty giving people a second chance, because you expect perfection the first time?
3. Have you ever brought up something someone said a long time ago and used it in a current conversation to make your point?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, read on for a reminder of the elements required for a safe and healthy garden that fosters powerful communication.

Soil – Authenticity.  How authentic are you?  Are you the same person regardless of the situation?  As a leader, do you operate the same way with your staff as you do with your peers?  Do you share your own struggles and challenges with your team or do you create a façade of of perfection?  If you struggle with showing your true self, then you need to focus on being Authentic.  It’s the foundation.

Water – Give Grace.  Grace means “Undeserved favor performed out of your good will.”  Do you give others the benefit of the doubt or do you wait for them to flub up so you can point out their error?  Do you choose to give people second chances?  This doesn’t mean you have unhealthy boundaries.  It’s just you accept that people are flawed, and you’re willing to allow them to be less than perfect, and maybe even help them recover when they have failed.  Healthy environments require finding ways to give grace, just like water, daily.

Fertilize – Encourage Communication.  When you encourage communication, people feel safe talking with you.  They know conversations are confidential.  They know you listen for meaning, not just to gain information to use later.  You also recognize that sometimes people just have to verbally process in order for them to synthesize the information they have received.  You are also willing to share of yourself.  You’re not closed and unwilling to reveal yourself to them.  Communication flows both ways.

Making sure to include these elements into your everyday environment is hard work.  But it’s worth it when you begin to see your relationships blossom and grow strong so that that not only will they withstand life’s stresses but will flourish in the midst of them.

This is Day 7 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

What kind of communication environment are you cultivating?  Are you intentional with any of these 3 key elements?  I’d love to hear your experiences.  Just leave a comment below.

The post Day 7 – Flourish (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Monotone Mary – Mary never gets very excited about anything.  Her pitch rarely varies more than a few levels in either direction and her volume stays specifically just below the medium level.  When she talks, it’s easy to forget what she said immediately after she says it because everything sounds the same.  You have to guess what’s most important to her because there’s no emphasis in her speech.  She’s kind of like that recorded message at the airport that warns you not to leave your baggage unattended.  Easy to ignore and relegate into background noise.

Sarcastic Sam – Sam’s the master of double meanings.  When he asks a question or gives a comment, the thick sarcastic tone usually causes you to doubt how he wants you to answer.  Sam thinks he’s funny because of his sarcastic “wit” but his negative commentary is very wearing.  In meetings, he’s free with inflection laden suggestions, usually at the expense of another.  When he’s confronted about his comments, he always denies he said anything wrong. And let’s face it, technically, the words were fine; it was the sarcasm suffocating them that stopped productive communication.

Excitable Ed — Ed is always excited about everything!  You hear him before you see him!  There are lots of exclamation points in his delivery!  His volume is as high as his energy!  He emphasizes various words to make his points, and there are a lot of points to make!  He tends to be positive, but hasn’t come to understand that too much of a good thing is too much!  He makes you tired.  You tune him out because it’s ALL! TOO! MUCH!!

Conversational Callie – Callie is a master communicator.  She uses a variety of pitches and volumes when she speaks.  She draws you in.  Her lower and slower tone of voice attracts your attention…and then she delivers her message with power and humor.  She knows that variety is truly the spice of life, and when she speaks she harnesses that variety so you stay engaged.  Rarely does she speak with sarcasm, so if the joke is on someone, it’s on herself.  You like being around Callie because she uses her tone to build up others and strengthen her message.

I hope these examples have reminded you of what kind of tone can be most effective.  Notice your own tone, and ask yourself if you are communicating the way you really want to, or if you’ve fallen into bad habits.

This is Day 6 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these do you think you most closely resemble?  What are some ways you can become more like Callie?  I’d love to hear your comments, just leave them below.

The post Day 6 – Create Your Perfect Voice Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• There is power in community
• Enthusiasm is contagious
• The beauty of an early morning ritual
• Keeping sane with sleep, exercise, friendship and the Word

Part 2: How to be Extravagantly Generous

1. Start with what you have – talents, time, ideas, stuff
2. Look for ways to help – hint, you don’t have to start it.   Amy’s website has some great suggestions
3. Pick a week to eat from the pantry/freezer, and with your kids, pick out a way to be generous with the grocery money
4. Discuss what being it would look like for your family to be extravagantly generous – then pick something to DO to live it out
5. Don’t wait

Website links:

Amy L. Sullivan  Amy’s website with load of great information here.

Amy’s Recommended Reading and Resources:

When More is Not Enough – How to Stop Giving Your Kids What They Want and Give Them What They Need, by Amy L. Sullivan  How important is this?!  Very!

15 Ways to Make Love Impossible, by Lori and Steven McClure  – watch for their upcoming interview on our podcast in a few weeks.

Start A Snowball – Helping Kids do Good  What an excellent resource for your family!

Encouraging Word of the Week:  1 Timothy 6:17-19 (The Message)   “Tell those rich in this world’s wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow.  Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage, to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous.  If they do that, they’ll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  What are you doing to teach and train your kids how to implement giving into their everyday lives?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

The post #025: Amy L. Sullivan – When More is Not Enough and Extravagant Generosity (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Give the Hope Virus
• Chase one rabbit – how do we do that?
• We can strive to make every day joyful, not just perfect
• Some clever marketing tips

Part 2: How to “Chase One Rabbit” when everything is multiplying like…rabbits!

1. Make a master list
2. Identify the one theme or big idea that emerges
3. Pick the top 3 items, activities, elements that will drive you towards your big idea
4. Write your list the night before
5. Execute your list with a re-visiting at noon daily

Website links:

www.colleensheehyorme.com  Colleen’s website with load of great information here.

How Great Thou Part – A Catholic Girl’s musings on Love, Divorce and Life.  This is a direct link to Colleen’s columns for Beliefnet.com – which is a great resource for all things of faith – for all faiths.  You’ll love it!

Colleen’s Recommended Reading:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. An excellent resource for understanding how to show your love in a way your loved one can receive best. HIGHLY recommended.

When GOD Winks: How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life by Squire Rushnell. One I haven’t read yet, but look forward to reading.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 3:5-6  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Are you scattered or laser focused?  What are your trick for chasing one rabbit?  Or do you even think it’s necessary?   I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

The post #024: Colleen Sheehy Orme and How to Chase One Rabbit appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• What to do when you are really all alone
• The power of authenticity
• The surprising message of Love and Grace
• Why we should not let roadblocks stop us

Part 2: Risking Humility: A fresh look at Authenticity

• A thought on how humility and authenticity are really 2 sides of the same coin.

Website links:

www.michellederusha.com  This is Michelle’s creative, helpful, interesting home base.  She’s got links to her books, relevant articles and fun give-aways.  It’s worth a visit for sure!

Kay’s Recommended Reading:

Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith, by Michelle DeRusha.  An honest look at a faith journey – especially for those questioning their own beliefs.

50 Women Every Christian Should Know: Learning from Heroines of the Faith, by Michelle DeRusha.  I’m loving this book.  Very inspirational.  I’m actually using it as the recommended reading for a teen-age retreat I’m doing in October.  It’s so powerful to read about these women of faith – guess what?  They are a whole lot like you and me.

Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic, by Martha Beck.  This book looks great!  Can’t wait to read it.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14   (again!) “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Do you get uncomfortable very often? Why/why not?  And do you risk humility?   I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #023: Michelle DeRusha – Spiritual Misfit and 50 Women Every Christian Should Know (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• The power of friendship
• The true nature of God – Redeemer!
• The importance of routine
• Protecting your time

Part 2:  4 Keys to Growing Friendships

1. Be Friendly
2. Be Authentic
3. Be Giving
4. Be there

Website links:

www.kaybruner.com  This is Kay’s home base and where you can find everything from her blog to her book to her favorite things.  Tons of great information and encouragement here.

Kay’s Recommended Reading:
As Soon As I Fell: A Memoir by Kay Bruner.  I had to put this at the top of the list.  Please get this to support Kay!  Fabulous!

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  A classic on how to set boundaries for yourself.  I need to get this one out and re-read it.  I love this book!

The Search For Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes, by  Robert McGee.  A classic.  Once again, so thankful to be reminded to get this back out and re-read it.  I first read it in college – ‘ya think I might have a different perspective now?

Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith, by Anne Lamott.  I was a bit skeptical of this author…until I read her!  I would love to meet her in person.  What an honest voice.  If you have never read her personal works – by all means start here!

Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging, by Brennan Manning.  New to me.  After reading about this book, I will be adding it to my “must read” list.

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom, by Henri Nouwen.  Wow!  This book looks like one we all could benefit from.  Another that’s on its way to my house.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14   “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Did her story resonate with you like it did with me?  Which part gave you chills?  And do you live like you are “Loved, Safe and Chosen?”   I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #021: Kay Bruner – Authenticity and Friendship (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:

• A simple overview of the Paleo Lifestyle
• Thoughts on the power of meditation
• Learning when to shut it down
• The importance of play in a productive life

Part 2:

• How do you make decisions?
• Ways to discover what’s essential in your life
• Expectations and decision making

Website links:

www.everydaypaleo.com  – This is Sarah’s home base.  You can find TONS of great recipes here along with practical suggestions for feeding yourself and your family in a nourishing way.  She is VERY real and down to earth!

www.eplifefit.com – This is Sarah and Jason Seib’s nutrition and fitness online site.  They dispense tons of great advice and even have a membership site you can join.

Sarah’s Resources:

Everyday Paleo, by Sarah Fragoso – Her first (and I think, best) book on how to do this thing called Paleo.

Everyday Paleo Family Cookbook: Real Food for Real Life, by Sarah Fragoso – Filled with over 80 easy and yummy recipes.

Everyday Paleo Around the World: Italian Cuisine: Authentic Recipes Made Gluten-Free, by Sarah Fragoso – This is Sarah’s first of her series of foods from around the world.  All I can say is “I never knew cooking with mushrooms and wine would make me feel like a real cook.”  Thank you Sarah!

Everyday Paleo: Thai Cuisine: Authentic Recipes Made Gluten-free, by Sarah Fragoso – And she’s done it again.  This is the second installment of her Around the World series and she took the whole family to Thailand for “research” and we are really the ones who benefit.  Interesting and yummy both.

Paleo Pals: Jimmy and the Carrot Rocket Ship, by Sarah Fragoso – This is a children’s book that actually inspires kids to eat whole, nutritious foods.  My children love this book and the recipes included have all been fully approved.  I like how she inspires the kids to get in the kitchen with me to prepare meals.  This is a huge part of Sarah’s philosophy, and this book entertains as it inspires.  You and your kids both will love it!

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst – Saying yes, (or no) means making a decision.  Lysa unpacks some great suggestions for how to make decisions so that your yes’s are emphatic and your no’s are freeing. You’ll love this book.

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown – An excellent resource for figuring out what is really essential in your life.  So that you make better decisions and live more of the life you really want.

Sarah’s Recommendations:

8 Minute Meditation: Quiet Your Mind. Change Your Life.  A primer on meditation

www.headspace.com – an easy, free App to download

Encouraging Word of the Week: Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Question:  What kind of food creates your best health?  Are you a junk foodie or a Paleo promoter?  Can you be both? (I am..hee-hee, don’t tell).  Also, how are you at making decisions?  Do you feel confident in your choices?  What keeps you from making a decision?  Is it fear, like it is for me?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #019: Sarah Fragoso – Founder of Everyday Paleo, Family and Decision Making (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:

• Sometimes it takes someone else to see the gift in you – even before you see it yourself – you’ll learn how what she feared the most became her life passion
• The power of alone time with your kids
• How doing something you love can sometimes lead you into a career you love

Part 2:

• What kind of a friend are you?
• How you can strengthen your friendships this week

Website links:

www.nancysuttonpierce.com

www.consciousLivingYoga.com

You can also find Nancy on FB at Conscious Living Yoga

Encouraging Word of the Week: 1 John 4:18 “There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.” (The Message)

Question:  What do you do to foster your friendships? Has there been a time when your friends got you through?

The post #018: Nancy Sutton Pierce – Conscious Living (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here’s a list of the books I read to avoid my “to do” list.  (They are all really good books!)  I talk about them a bit in the podcast too.

The Bookman’s Tale: A Novel of Obsession, by Charlie Lovett

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know

You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, by Dr. Joe Dispenza

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown

On Writing: 10th Anniversary Edition: A Memoir of the Craft, by Stephen King

All In: You Are One Decision Away From a Totally Different Life, by Mark Batterson

The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, Lysa TerKeurst

So, there’s a huge list of ways to avoid doing what you need to be doing. Only one of these was really directly impacting something on my list. (Lysa’s book)

Strategies for you to implement to reclaim your light:

1. Figure out what you really want.  And find the fear that’s keeping you stuck.  (Fear of Not enough, Fear of Rejection or Fear of Success)
2. Take the first steps towards what you want.
3. Let yourself celebrate your victory.  (Even if it seem insignificant in the overall effort.)

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Matthew 5: 14-16  “You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

The post #017: Throw Down Fear and Light Up (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

• Burned Out or Stressed Out?  How to recognize the difference (from your symptoms) and how to solve the real problem.
• Discover what can you control vs. what you can’t control and make a plan to take control
• The way SMART Goals can impact your balance
• How to take care of yourself first (including my powerful 3 ways to say “No” nicely)

Resources:

www.goredforwomen.org

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Changes That Heal, by Dr. Henry Cloud

Finding Your Element: How to Discover Your Talents and Passions and Transform Your Life, by Sir Ken Robinson

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 3:5-6  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

Questions:  What do you think of this proposal?  Do you tend to be more balanced or strategically imbalanced?  How are you at saying no and setting boundaries?  I’d love to hear your comments below.  And here are some inspirational photos of strategic imbalance in action!  Taken at the Sundial Bridge performance of BANDALOOP this past June.

The post #16: My Work-Life Imbalance Proposition (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

1. List all the things, projects, programs, trainings at work you have led OR had an integral part in accomplishing.  Include things that are volunteer as part of your work…chamber of commerce, rotary, soroptimists, community work
2. List and write down all the favorite things you do as a hobby.  For example:  cross-stitch, cross fit, restoring cars, music, travel, reading, VBS curriculum, VP of your kids swim team boosters.  I want you to think of all the ways you bring value to those activities.  What are the ACTIVITIES you are doing around these things. Think ACTION words…
3. Note all the things you like to think about and talk about.  What do you do extra reading or watching on?  Is there something you want to know more about?  Take a class or do an online training.
4. Highlight areas of crossover.
5. Offer.   Get the word out there that you are available.  Are there things you are doing with your kids swim team that you could do at work?  Just because you don’t have the job title doesn’t mean you can’t do cross over there.  Is there a project at work you would really like to work on but you’re not on that team?  Is there a way you could volunteer doing it? Tell you boss or supervisor what you would like to start doing.  Is there something that needs to be done but nobody has ever mentioned it?Look for opportunity to cross train.  If you company offers this, great!  If not, then look for natural openings and offer to learn someone else’s responsibilities.

Recognize your value and look for opportunities to add that value.  You are an expert in something.  You add value to your organization in ways that ONLY you can add value.  So today is the day to assesses and implement. 

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Eph 2:10  “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do, that we should walk in, DO, them...” NIV

Question:  What are you an expert in?  Where can you add value to the world around you?   I can’t wait to read your comments below.

The post #015: You Are The Expert (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Driving down the coast of California with a 7 and 10 year old in tow, making periodic stops at California Missions does NOT a fairytale make.  I’f you’d been with us, here’s a bit of what you might have heard…(see if you relate)

“Pay attention and  look at this view! People come from all over the world to see this beautiful landscape!”

“Stop hitting your brother!”

“There’s a statue of Father Serra – let’s get another a picture”

“Don’t you dare touch your sister again!”

“No, we’re not going to the beach until the end of the day”

“Write this down, this will be good for your report on the California Missions this fall.”  (You would hear muttering in response.)

“Please be quiet, we’re going to stop in just 2 hours a few minutes!”

Needless to say, as I sit here in the hotel room this morning (the pool is closed for maintenance, the beach has no beachside cafes and the one umbrella topped tables is full of HS girls in their pajamas playing on their i-phones). I figure there must be something good from all this I can share with you.  The must be a lesson here somewhere.

Because you see, I woke up early with my heart racing thinking of the things I left undone when we left for vacation.  Those items are still sitting on my computer in my inbox.  The phone calls still need to be made.  The emails still need to be returned.  The blog posts written.  The sheer volume of WORK!  It’s overwhelming.

This re-starting a business has been a lot harder and slower than I anticipated.  I envisioned a quick turnaround.  I pictured myself as a speedy jet boat, making a swift, powerful, unencumbered 180, then racing quickly in the other direction.

I guess the reality is that I’m more of a cruise ship.  Loaded down with husband and kiddos and activities and responsibilities.  With that in mind, I’m taking a big breath and going to share with you a few ideas that helped me this morning.  Maybe they will help you navigate your circumstances too.  I’m writing this in first person, so please put your name in here and feel free to make it your own.

I’m me, not anyone else.  In the midst of my anxiety this morning I opened an email from a very well know and extremely successful female speaker.  She has started a world-wide ministry, written a bazillion books including 2 NY Times best sellers, has an enormous online and in-person following, adopted like 10 kids from Africa, has a bedazzling marriage….well, you get the picture.  What trap did I fall into again? That’s right.  Comparison.  I had to remind myself that I’m me.  The end. My story can only start when the comparison ends.

Work with what I’ve got.  So I’m not sitting by the beach being awed by the wonder of God’s creation as I type these words.  My kids are in and out of the room.  I’m sitting at a fake wood table by the wall AC that’s blowing fast and furious.  That’s ok.  This is all the time I have, so I’m going to make the most of it.  I have a feeling this is a message you might need to be reminded of too.

Break it down.  When I’m overwhelmed, it’s easy to let my mind run crazy with ALL the things that are not happening.  I find when I take the time to list down what these things are, it releases some chemical so I feel better.  It puts it in perspective. It gives me a chance to see what the gaps are and what the REAL (not imagined) needs are.  Breaking it down gives me the bigger picture.

Experience your moment.  I must admit my temptation is to fret and stew this vacation away trying to fit work in every bit of alone spare time I can grab.  Instead, I’m going to finish this post.  Shoot out a few fast emails that say I will get back with them after my vacation is over next Monday.  I’ll do a min-podcast tomorrow morning early before everyone is up and get it posted on Thursday, but other than that, I’m going to enjoy the rest of this vacation without regret.

There will always be more work.  But I will never, ever, have another week with my sweet little chickens (as I call them) like this week.  So I’m going to embrace it and enjoy it.

I have a feeling all the expectations I had for this week will be way blown away by the memories we actually make.  And when I get back to the work, my hunch is that it will be with fresh eyes and a renewed spirit.  Happy Summer!

Question:  What part of this post do you relate to?  Please let me know I’m not the only one!!

The post I’m So Overwhelmed! And I’m on VACATION! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

• The challenge of juggling an intense job along with Mama duties – it’s ok not to be perfect!
• How important it is to stay open to learning and growing
• How a great roll model can inspire you with your own children
• The importance of being fully present at whatever you are doing at the time
• Encouragement to really get to know yourself

Best Book Resources: 

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown

The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: Live Them and Reach Your Potential by John Maxwell
This book is great for insight into who you are and how to grow.

W is for Wasted (Kinsey Millhone Mystery) by Sue Grafton

Unlucky 13 (Women’s Murder Club) by James Patterson

Website Resources:

www.wetseal.com

Part 2:  SuperMom.  Fact or Fiction?

• It’s normal to have high expectations of yourself
• It’s normal to think you’re the only one NOT doing everything (Comparison!)
• It’s normal to fall short
• There’s hope

One more thing:  Remember, my book give away this week for the first person to rate and leave a review on iTunes gets The Gifts of Imperfection as my gift!  Be sure to let me know when you’ve written the review so I can get it to you!

Encouraging Word of the Week: Ecclesiastes 9:10a  Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.

Question:  Do you ever get caught up in the SuperMom Syndrome?  How do you work around it?  What tools do you use to help you be productive?  What do you do to make sure you are fully present with your family when you are with them?  I can’t wait to read your comments below.

The post #013: Brooke Adams Baldwin and Supermom – Fact or Fiction? (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

And then, the more I thought about it, the more the idea resonated.  100 Year Plan.  And the more I thought about it, the more appealing it became.  Just think about it.  What will your mark be in 100 years?  What am I doing now, so that in 2114 ripples will still be felt?

So whether you’re thinking professionally (like my husband and his company do), or yourself personally, taking a REALLY long view is sure to refocus you on what’s really important.

And since we are now almost to the exact 1/2 way point in the year, this is also a perfect time to pull out your goals for 2014 and look at them in this new light.  The light of 2114.

All 100 year plans for the forest must include seasons of clearing, planting, growing and harvesting. (For a great podcast on seasons in your business, I recommend you visit http://rayedwards.com/112/.  Ray has done a terrific job of talking about it in his feature segment “stop trying to find clients”.)  Following are some practical steps you can take today to create and implement your own 100 year plan.

1. Draw out a 100 year timeline and fill it up with you and your vision.  Imagine who will be there in 100 years.  Imagine what might be on there from your work.  Write it all out.
2. Next, write down what you most want to be/do/have by the time you leave the timeline (die).
3. Sift those desires through the sieve of time.  Do they fit?  Do they fall into the 100 year value category?  If not, that’s OK, but you may find yourself rearranging your priorities to incorporate activities of more lasting value.
4. Now, do the hard work of clearing out what doesn’t hold up and preparing the “soil” for new seedlings.  In forestry, only the best and strongest are planted in the prepared soil.  I think we could do the same.  Only the best and strongest activities/ideas can be included into our timeline.  Only plant things that will grow and blossom with the years.
5. Because you have your timeline filled up with things of long-term value, you can be focused and nurture an environment of support and growth.  Quickly thin out any weeds and/or volunteers that sprout and threaten to derail the growth of the best.  Plan for and create a positive nurturing environment for your ideas to grow into great things.

You might feel overwhelmed at the thought of a 100 year plan.  But if I may twist a quote from one of my good friends, “It’s going to be 2114 anyway,” so my friends, this is your opportunity to be intentional with the impact you will make in this life.  Today’s a great day to start!

Question:  Have you ever thought of making a 100-year-plan?  What appeals to you about this idea?  Are you motivated to look at your goals through this prism now?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!  Please leave your comments below.

The post Do You Need a 100 Year Plan? appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas From this Interview:

• The Power of Friendship
• The importance of supporting each other as women
• Getting through difficult times with grace
• Imperfect is perfect

Website Referenced in Podcast:  http://www.derailingmydiagnosis.com

Best Book Resources: 

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Part 2: How to Develop and Deepen Your Friendships

1. Make friendship a priority — schedule time for this
2. Nurture your friendships
3. Look for places to connect with like-minded people
4. Be friendly

Resources for Developing Friendships:

How to Win Friends & Influence People
This book is just a classic.  Although some of the wording is a bit “old fashioned” the principles are timeless and you’ll be able to use and apply idea after idea.   As an added bonus, the first person to subscribe, rate and review this podcast in iTunes will get this book as a gift from me.  Just email me and let me know you wrote the review and I’ll get the book out to you.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 17:17 –  “A friend loves at all times.”

Question:  What do you think makes a great friend? How do you nurture your friendships? Do you have any examples of a friend who showed you out of the ordinary love?  Please leave your comments below.

The post #010: Naomi Yamamoto – Cultivating Connections and How To Be a Great Friend (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

First things first.   Yes, this was written on my whiteboard by my Amelia.  I love how she spells, and I really love how she is focused on what is important.  As I mentioned at the end of May, my weight loss challenge was a  “failure”.  The month was really GREAT in other areas…but…

Do you ever do that?  When the one thing you really want to achieve doesn’t happen, you write off the whole month?  That is SO MUCH my tendency.  But I’m learning and growing and so today I celebrate all the good things that happened in May.  My podcast launched!  I made it to iTunes New and Noteworthy thanks to all the amazing reviews!  I kept up with semi-regular blogs.  I recognized that I have a focus on perfectionism.  This is actually the first time I’m figuring out that I really am a perfectionist in quite a few areas of my life. Yeah! Growth! The book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are is really helping me (and I think it would help you too if this is your struggle).

My girlfriend told me about a trainer who helps you re-set your metabolism.  Seriously, I have tried everything (too many to go into here) and I’m sure my metabolism is as sluggish at the pink goop McDonalds uses for it’s chicken nuggets.  So, as soon as I finish this blog post, I’m going to call him up and get an appointment.  Can’t hurt, and it just might help.  I’ll keep you posted!

Now to the really important stuff.  The “I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off” syndrome that mysteriously reappears every June.  If this is something you can relate to, here are my top 5 ideas for getting back on track.  I’m going to start them right after I finish this post and call that magical trainer…

1.  Write down what you want to accomplish. When everything is going crazy, the easiest thing in the world is to forget what you really need to do.  The urgent jumps up to the top of your mind and you lose track of the important.  Writing it down will give you clarity and free up your brain.
2. Prioritize.  My guess is that your list is crazy long.  Everything from put in a load of wash to contact that client.  I find that prioritizing is a huge help since I RARELY finish everything on my list during the day. I feel really good when I can check off each item and know the most important thing has been done.  If you struggle with prioritizing and procrastinating, I’ll encourage you to read Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy.  This book is full of great practical suggestions for how to get the hard stuff done. I re-read my copy at least once a year to keep me on track.
3. Keep the list handy.  I sometimes write a list and then close my notebook and forget about it.  Don’t do that!  Keep it open and handy so you can check off things as you do them.  It also helps you stay on task.
4. Set aside 40-50 minutes to work without distractions.  Do whatever it takes to be uninterrupted.  Work while the baby is asleep.  Get up early. Stay up late.  Shut the door.  Turn on the TV for heaven’s sake.  That’s why PBS was invented!  You get my drift.  Set the time and work undistracted.  You will be amazed at how effective and productive you will be in such a short amount of time.
5. Celebrate your wins!  You did it!  You accomplished something today.  Go kiss your kids, pet the dog and jump in the pool. You’re going to need it ’cause tomorrow it starts all over again.  Big hugs from sunny, hot (105!) and summery Redding.

Question:  How do you handle the challenges summer brings?  What are your best practices?.  Share please.  We’d love to know!  Just post your ideas below in the comments section.

The post 5 Steps to Stop Running Around Like a Chicken With Your Head Cut Off appeared first on Christy Largent.

From 1999 to 2004 Laurie raced on a top ten world class adventure racing team. She won the California Outdoor Hall of Fame Award in 2006, and her story has been featured in The San Francisco Chronicle, The Sacramento Bee, Her Sports and Enjoy Magazine. Laurie Bagley holds a Master’s degree in Outdoor Leadership.  Of course, her favorite role is that of mother.

Key Ideas From this Interview:

• Suggestions for how to fit fitness into your busy life
• Strategies you can use to overcome adversity and challenges, including Fear
• Creative ways to find a mentor
• Steps you can take now to achieve big goals

Best Book Resource: (She wrote this!)
Summit!: One Woman’s Mount Everest Climb Guides You to Success

Here’s what Brian Tracy, author of “No Excuses, The Power of Self Discipline,” and personal growth guru, says about Laurie’s book: “This exciting book shows you how to set big, inspiring goals, and then back them with desire, discipline and determination.”     I think you’ll love the book too!

Website: www.lauriebagley.com

Part 2: SMART Goals

• Specific – Details that are specific, not general
• Measurable – Able to be measured to see if you’ve completed the goal
• Attainable – Something that is actually possible to do
• Realistic – Something that is not only possible, but realistic – for you
• Timely or Time Sensitive – There is an element of time to the goal

This is a quick overview of what I discuss in detail and with examples in the last portion of the show.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Question:  What are some of your goals?  How are you working towards them?  Are they SMART goals?  I’d love to hear what you’re working towards.  Please leave your comments below.

The post #008: Laurie Bagley – Everest Summit, Overcoming Fear and Goal Setting (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When I got home and after the car was unpacked, the clothes in the washer and most of the dirt wiped off, I picked up a book I’ve had sitting on my desk for 2 weeks or so.  In light of the way my non-stop self-talk had run riot after a weekend of being reminded I’m not where I want to be physically, (the end of the month challenge…remember?!?) the title caught my attention.  Crash the Chatterbox by Steven Furtick is timely to say the least.

Right at the beginning he reminded me that this frustration I experience between what I want to do and what I currently experience is nothing new.  In fact, the apostle Paul beautifully shared with us how he was constantly “at war” with this battle in his mind.  “I do what I don’t want to do, and I don’t do what I want to do,” Paul said.   Sound familiar?

If you struggle with your self-talk, I think you would enjoy  Crash the Chatterbox too.  I’m about 1/2 way through it now, and so far, there have been 2 key ideas I want to share with you.

1.  Look to God rather than people for approval.  My personality tends to look to others for their approval.  I work harder for others than I do for myself.  I focus on being the best student, the best friend, the best worker, the best daughter.  And it seems like I’m always striving to be perfect so that I’ll hear “good job” from the person I’m working for approval from.

Instead, I”m going to take Steven’s reminder to heart and realize that God has already said “good job Christy.”  In fact, he has already said, “Good Job!” to you too.  I’m already fully approved of and so are you.

Following hard on the heels of this need for approval, is my desire to compare.          2.  Dump that darned comparison trap!  It was so tempting to trot out my old friend – especially this past weekend as the end of month brought many promotions in my former business.  Several friends whom I had watched start their business’ after me, and then promote past me had just achieved the top level of the company.  I am so happy for them.  Really.  I am.

And I’m kind of sad for me.  For the lost hopes and dreams.  For the title of “National Vice President” that I didn’t achieve.   And then, just in time, I was reminded by Steven that comparison is ridiculous. Let me quote from him (just in case any of you could benefit from this thought too.)

 “Before you were born – before any of your defects were apparent to you — they were absolutely apparent to God.  That didn’t stop Him from calling your name and setting you apart.  He placed you on the earth at a certain time for a pre-decided purpose.

 And even when you can’t seem to get your act together, your identity is secure and completely intact.  Because in Christ, who you are matters infinitely more than anything you do or cannot do.”

And that’s the truth.  That “pre-decided purpose” just makes my heart sing.  Because I know that had I achieved that rank I was working so hard for, I wouldn’t be right here with you right now. There would be no blog.  No podcast. No speaking career.  And for whatever reason, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is where I’m supposed to be.

All 187 lbs., achey back, creaky knees and all.  And as I get my mind repositioned, whatever that process looks like, is when the weight will drop and the fitness improve.  In the meantime, ping-pong anyone?

Question:  How do you handle your self talk?  What’s your biggest challenge?  Can you see yourself using the two ideas I discussed?

The post What’s in Your Mind? appeared first on Christy Largent.

A leader in the tech community she is an entrepreneur and visionary.  Her most recent start up, Build-it Redding, was nominated for the Northern California State Educator of the Year Award in 2013.

Key ideas from her interview:

• Know your strengths and weaknesses and build a team around you to support you in those
• Build relationships first, then all the rest follows
• There is tremendous power in systems – both at work and home

Favorite Book Resource: The 4-Hour Workweek, Expanded and Updated, by Tim Ferriss

Website:  www.builditredding.com

Part 2:  Strategies for Navigating Difficult Conversations

Each Personality Style will approach a difficult conversation differently:

• Yellow – Sunshine Sally:  Avoid and ignore it, cajole the other person into forgetting it
• Red – Action Annie:  She will use force and potentially anger to “bully” someone into seeing it her way
• Blue – Detailed Danielle: She will be passive aggressive as a way to manipulate, or might even withdraw to avoid it all together
• Green – Peaceful Patty:  She will pretend there’s no problem, using procrastination to control until it all blows sky high.

Here is a format you can use to navigate the conversation no matter what your style!

When you – fill in specific action that’s bothering you.

I feel – name the emotion

Because – elaborate on emotion, why you feel that way

I want you to – changed behavior you want to see

Encouraging word of the week:  Romans 12:18  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Good luck with this new way of communicating!  I would love to hear your results.  Just leave your comments in the box below.

The post #006: Faye Hall Interview along with Strategies for Difficult Conversations (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

If you’ve still got questions about how to handle the people in your life, then you’ll want to listen to this final podcast on the personality styles.  In this episode, we’ll conclude our conversation on how to “Fill the Need Tank” of the last two personalities. (For Part 1 on needs, listen to episode #4).

Episodes #2 and #3 covered how to recognize these people in your life.  For more information on that, please listen to those podcasts.

Give the Powerful Choleric – (Action Annie)

• A sense of control
• “Nutshell”
• Credit for their work
• Appreciation

Give the Popular Sanguine – (Sunshine Sally)

• Attention
• Approval
• Acceptance
• Affection (at home ONLY!)

For more information on this topic, I highly recommend a book by Florence Littauer,  Personality Plus. You can get it here.

The biggest takeaway I want you to have from this whole overview is that nobody is wrong – they are just different.  Once you know and understand these different styles and their accompanying needs, you’re better able to build positive connections and enjoy purposeful living.  Stay tuned each week as I add to this topic with tips for working together, diffusing problem behavior,  bringing out the best in others and much more.

Question:  What has been your biggest “Aha” from this series?  How do you think it will improve your life?

The post #005: Understanding Why They Drive You Crazy! Part 2 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Episodes #2 and #3 covered how to recognize these people in your life.  For more information on that, please listen to those podcasts.  This podcast and #5 will cover how to “Fill the Need Tank” (in the words of Stephen Covey).

Give the Peaceful Phlegmatic – (Peaceful Patty)

• Lack of Conflict – use a  Low Tone of Voice and Keep a Lack of Intensity in your voice
• Listen to them carefully (Spend time listening)

Give the Perfect Melancholy – (Detailed Danielle)

• Lots and lots and lots of Details
• Time and Space to process those details
• Be specific to show you are sincere

For more information on this topic, I highly recommend the book by Florence Littauer, Personality Plus.  You can get it here.

Be sure to check back for my next episode, or better yet, go to iTunes, subscribe and download the whole series!  It’s all free and I promise you’ll love it.

Question:  What’s a way you’ve been able to fill someone’s emotional tank?  How has it impacted your relationship with the person?  Please leave your thoughts below.

The post #004: Understanding Why They Drive You Crazy! Part 1 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

The study of The Personalities is very old – dating all the way back to Hippocrates in about 400B.C.  He started it, and still today we are wondering why people act the way they do.  Florence Littauer has written the most user-friendly book on the subject that I have found.  You can find Personality Plus Here.  Back to Hippocrates, he categorized people into 4 basic styles:

Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic and Melancholy.  Today we  still find it useful to recognize these general categories.

In this podcast, I explain in detail about the Powerful Choleric – “Action Annie” and the Peaceful Phlegmatic – “Peaceful Patty”.  If you want to get the full picture of these styles, be sure to listen to the podcast episode 002 for the details.

Powerful Choleric (Red) – Action Annie:  You know her because she is;

• High Energy
• Strong with her words and gestures
• Functional for optimum performance

Her motivator is to BE IN CONTROL!!

Peaceful Phlegmatic (Green)- Peaceful Patty:  You know her because she is;

• Laid Back and Easy Going
• Great sense of Dry Humor
• Great Listener

Her motivator is PEACE AT ANY PRICE!!

The styles basically work together so that you have one dominate with a supporting style.  The natural combinations (which can vary between the two as to most dominant) are:

• Sally Sunshine (Yellow) dominant with Action Annie (Red) secondary or Red dominant with Yellow secondary
• Action Annie (Red) dominant with Detailed Danielle (Blue) secondary or Blue dominant with Red secondary
• Detailed Danielle (Blue) dominant with Peaceful Patty (Green) secondary or Green dominant with Blue secondary
• Peaceful Patty (Green) dominant with Sally Sunshine (Yellow) secondary or Yellow dominant with Green secondary

Remember, you can change positions but you’ll never change teams.  It’s a learning journey.  Hopefully, we are all growing and changing every day.  For more details on this topic, be sure to listen to episode 002, and then check back for episodes 004-005 when I’ll go in to specifics on what to do with these people!  It will be entertaining and educational.  I promise.  After all, I’m a yellow!

P.S. If you haven’t subscribed to these podcasts, please go to iTunes and subscribe.  Then download the episodes so you’re up to date.  Thank you so much!!

Question:  Which of these 4 styles we’ve covered are you?  What are your challenges? What’s easy for you?  How has your style helped you at work and home?  Please leave your answer below.

The post #003: Understanding The Personalities Part 2 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Crazy, isn’t it?  I know!  I laughed so much and actually thought, so darling, but seriously, so tacky!   I then shared it with some of my best girlfriends.  And then one girlfriend said something that rocked me.  She said, “What a cute invitation, I’ll bet it’s going to be a really fun wedding.”  And she’s exactly right.  It will be a super fun wedding.  The people are great fun and I love them.  They have an awesome sense of humor (see above example), and it will be a time of celebration and joy.  So what if the invitation is not my preference? (Tiffanys, engraved on cream paper if you really want to know).  But thanks to a shift in perspective, that invitation went from tacky to terrific.

What if, when I looked in the mirror, or tried on my clothes, or got ready to leave in the morning, I gave myself a perspective shift.  How about a perspective that says thank you God for my sturdy legs that will carry me far.  Thank you for a healthy heart that beats with love and excitement for others.  Thank you for soft arms that hold my husband and children tightly.  Thank you for diligent hands that wash dishes and correct math homework and type encouraging words.  Thank you for a full belly that is testimony of your gracious abundance.

When we are thankful, our hearts and minds are full.  There’s no room for “not enough” in a mind and heart full of gratitude.

 A perspective of discontent comes from focusing on what we don’t have.   What’s not enough.  Whether it’s our backyards, our bodies or our backgrounds.  Not enough outside seating to invite the neighbors for dinner.  Not skinny enough to look good in those fancy jeans. Not enough experience to…(fill in the blank.)  Not enough is a big, fat, ugly lie.  We are all enough.  We are all enough.  Just.  As. We.  Are.

And maybe Mother’s Day is a good time to let go of the lie that my own mother was not enough.  She was enough.  She did the best she could with what she had.  She always loved me unconditionally and still tells me I am more than enough.  My own ears hearing the not enough from her mouth in regards to herself and others, was my own insecurity rearing it’s ugly head.  (I love you Mother!)  She is enough.  She did enough.  More than enough.

And when I realize that, suddenly I’m freed to be enough in my own life.  I’m enough of a wife.  I’m enough of a mother.  I’m enough in all my 186 lb glory.  I’m enough because God made me enough.

I’m on this public quest to shed some weight.  I don’t know what the end goal is.  It’s been almost 15 years since I’ve been at what I deemed my “perfect” weight, so now at age 50 I don’t know what my happy place weight will be.  For today, if I can shed 20 lbs, lower my blood sugar and have more energy, I’ll be encouraged.

Can I be enough now and yet get better? Of course!  That’s called growth.  But we don’t have to wait to be “better” to live life fully enough.  Let go of the lies that are telling you you are not enough.  You are enough.  Today.  Right now.  You are enough.

Let’s change our perspectives together.  Let’s live our lives fully no matter what the number on the scale says. We can focus on gratitude rather than lack.  Because when we’re thankful for being enough, and we let go of the ‘not enough’ in others and become thankful for who we are and what our bodies are, then we’re free to focus on others.

 Mothers, I don’t have to tell you our lives are full of doing for others.  And the paradox is the more we pour out, the more we are filled.  It’s beautiful.  You’re beautiful.  It’s enough.  You’re enough.  Happy Mother’s Day.

Question:  Do you know you are enough?  What keeps you from celebrating that?  How can you begin celebrating your “enough-ness”?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Celebrating a Mother’s Day ‘Enough’ appeared first on Christy Largent.

The study of The Personalities is very old – dating all the way back to Hippocrates in about 400B.C.  He started it, and still today we are wondering why people act the way they do.  Florence Littauer has written the most user-friendly book on the subject that I have found.  You can find Personality Plus Here.  Back to Hippocrates, he categorized people into 4 basic styles:

Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic and Melancholy.  Today we  still find it useful to recognize these general categories.

In this podcast, I explain in detail about the Sanguine – “Popular Sanguine” and the Melancholy – “Perfect Melancholy”.

Popular Sanguine:  You know her because she is;

• Loud…voice and clothes
• Open…with her body and her life
• Messy…with everything, even her mind!

Her motivator is to HAVE FUN!!!

Perfect Melancholy:  You know her because she is;

• Quiet…voice
• Closed…with her body and personal information
• Analyzed…to the point of analysis paralysis!

Her motivator is for PERFECTION!

These are general ways we recognize the people in our lives.  Be sure to check back for podcast #3 – #5 where I continue with an overview including the very powerful segments on meeting the needs of those who are different than you are.

The post #002: Understanding the Personalities Part 1 (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I’ll plan to post the podcast on Thursday morning of each week. If you subscribe, you will automatically get every episode for free.

So let’s get started!  This first episode is introducing myself and explaining what I hope to offer you each week.

Please tell me what you think!  And if you want to help get the word out, go to iTunes and give me a rating.  Every single one counts!

The post #001: Very First Episode of Encouraging Words for Working Moms Podcast! appeared first on Christy Largent.

For the past 9 years I have been focused at home.  Raising my long-awaited children.

and working a home business in the nooks and crannies.  My passion for speaking had not abated, I just put it put on the back burner.

Taking stock while vacationing this summer in the beautiful Oregon countryside

I realized I needed to get busy doing what God put me on earth to do.  With the help of some terrific books, Put Your Dream to the Test: 10 Questions to Help You See It and Seize It
and The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results
I decided to relaunch my professional speaking business.

The Dream  This is the dream that emerged.   I’m committed to helping people all over the world Create Positive Connections and Cultivate Purposeful Living.

The Reality  I quickly discovered the business world has changed a lot in the 9 years I’ve been away from professional speaking.  Thankfully, I discovered Michael Hyatt at just the right time!  The former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers has the most extraordinary website www.michaelhyatt.com as well as book, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World.
The book is a step-by-step guide to launching whatever business you want to.  I memorized it immediately!

The Plan  I will be speaking, writing, and using social media to connect.   My plan is to blog 3 times a week with regular topics.

Mondays I’ll offer insight for dealing with the various personalities in your life.  When I speak on the personality styles, it’s always a favorite, so I think you will like too.

Wednesdays I’ll cover tips, tricks and strategies for successful communication.  By Wednesday you’re usually sick to death of those irritating people you have to work with, so I figure that’s a good time to help you strengthen your communications skills.

Fridays, in the interest of honest transparency, I’m going to write about my lifelong challenge interest in fitness, wellness and nutrition.

I have a lot of other exciting ideas, so in between the scheduled posts I’ll be adding videos and podcasts and tools to help you create positive connections and cultivate purposeful living. I’m so excited!

Question:  My theme is “Positive Connections. Purposeful Living.”  With that in mind, what topics would you like to see me cover this year?  What are you most interested in learning about? Please leave a comment below!

The post The Beginning – What’s this all about? appeared first on Christy Largent.