Today I share the “aha” moment I had that has helped me to do a turnaround when in conflict.  Learning how to be transparent can be transformational.

Recommended Books:

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Luke 6:38 “Give and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

The post #512: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Transparent (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Thankfully, I have an amazing sister-in-law who reminded me of this yesterday, so I get to share it with you today!

Key reminders about being yourself:

1.  It’s scary.

2.  It’s easier to wear a mask.

3.  It’s totally worth it.

Encouraging Word:  Romans 12:9a (The Message) “Love others well, and don’t hide behind a mask; love authentically.“

The post #508: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Yourself appeared first on Christy Largent.

Oh wait?  You don’t? You say you don’t feel like that, but that you feel overwhelmed. Discouraged. Stressed out.  Oh, good.  Me too.  You’re in the right place, so you’d better read on.

As I was considering what I could write that would be of value to you this weekend, I was reminded that the root of so much of our difficulties during the holidays (and all year long, actually) is nothing more than comparison in disguise.

Comparison.  I’m sure you’re aware of the obvious ways comparison sneaks in.  Fakebook err, Facebook being the easiest and most obvious example.  Instagram and even highly anticipated holiday letters can be added to the list.

It’s easy to recognize the way Facebook makes us compare isn’t it?  Your decorations/children/vacations/husband/job/home/car/jewelry are nothing like the perfect neighbor down the street or the blogger across the country are they?

But, have you ever thought of the most insidious ways comparison sneaks into your life?

Have you ever stopped to consider that every time you compare your current reality with the one that you wish you had, you are setting yourself up for dissatisfaction, discontent, discouragement and even depression.

Worst of all, comparison devalues what is.  A basic tenant of The Grace Advantage is to “Accept What Is”  You can’t do that when you are comparing.  Because when you compare, you always come out the loser.  You are the loser when you feel pride of how much better you are and you are the loser when you see how much “less than” your life is.

Ouch!  Comparison cuts deep even when it’s just with our own idealized ideas of who we or our family should be or could be or even worse, ought to be.

If you’re feeling defeated, here are 3 simple words that just might help.

1.  Gratitude.  Before you start running down the list of “lack” in your mind this morning, stop and give thanks.  Look around you.  Gather your family close and kiss their sweet cheeks and say thank you.  Thank God for a roof over your head (even if it’s leaking!)  Thank Him for your car.  Thank Him for money to buy gas.  Thank Him for the abundance that allows your jeans to get tighter.  Ahem.  Thank Him for the challenging job that takes every negotiating skill you have.  Get the picture?  Get thankful.

2.  Giving.  Give up and give out. Give up your schedule to snuggle close and watch your son play Angry Birds. Give up your plans for the afternoon to meet your husband for lunch.  Give up your expectations for perfection and enjoy the beauty of the imperfection of life.

Give out of your abundance and out of your lack.  Any cans in the pantry you could share with the mission this weekend?  Any books you could pass along to the library? Scheduling time to ring the Salvation Army bell with your kids in front of Target is given out of your lack of time isn’t it? Yet you can choose to do it.

Giving requires you stop the navel-gazing and take a look around.  Who needs what you have?  You do have to look at yourself – but through the prism of how what you have and more importantly, who you are, can benefit others.  You are who you are and with what you have because there is an impact you can make.  It’s not all about you!  (Reminding myself too!!)  It’s not all about you.  But all about others and the impact you can make in their life.  Get giving.

3.  Grace.  Undeserved favor.  Who can you bless with grace this week?  Who can you love and accept just as they are?  Right now!  Without fixing a single thing about them.  Without expecting anything in return.  Undeserved favor.  We all need it.  We all can live it.

When we are thankful, giving and full of grace, suddenly comparison shows up as the ugly impostor it really is.  The counterfeit sensations comparison imparts fade quickly in the face of authentic living.  Living out gratitude.  Living out Generosity.  Living out Grace.

Now let’s get going!  I’ll meet you at the mall.

Question:  How does comparison rob you of joy?  What do you do that works to help you stop comparing?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave a comment below.

The post 3 Words That Can Change Everything appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Give the Hope Virus
• Chase one rabbit – how do we do that?
• We can strive to make every day joyful, not just perfect
• Some clever marketing tips

Part 2: How to “Chase One Rabbit” when everything is multiplying like…rabbits!

1. Make a master list
2. Identify the one theme or big idea that emerges
3. Pick the top 3 items, activities, elements that will drive you towards your big idea
4. Write your list the night before
5. Execute your list with a re-visiting at noon daily

Website links:

www.colleensheehyorme.com  Colleen’s website with load of great information here.

How Great Thou Part – A Catholic Girl’s musings on Love, Divorce and Life.  This is a direct link to Colleen’s columns for Beliefnet.com – which is a great resource for all things of faith – for all faiths.  You’ll love it!

Colleen’s Recommended Reading:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. An excellent resource for understanding how to show your love in a way your loved one can receive best. HIGHLY recommended.

When GOD Winks: How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life by Squire Rushnell. One I haven’t read yet, but look forward to reading.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 3:5-6  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Are you scattered or laser focused?  What are your trick for chasing one rabbit?  Or do you even think it’s necessary?   I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

The post #024: Colleen Sheehy Orme and How to Chase One Rabbit appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• What to do when you are really all alone
• The power of authenticity
• The surprising message of Love and Grace
• Why we should not let roadblocks stop us

Part 2: Risking Humility: A fresh look at Authenticity

• A thought on how humility and authenticity are really 2 sides of the same coin.

Website links:

www.michellederusha.com  This is Michelle’s creative, helpful, interesting home base.  She’s got links to her books, relevant articles and fun give-aways.  It’s worth a visit for sure!

Kay’s Recommended Reading:

Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith, by Michelle DeRusha.  An honest look at a faith journey – especially for those questioning their own beliefs.

50 Women Every Christian Should Know: Learning from Heroines of the Faith, by Michelle DeRusha.  I’m loving this book.  Very inspirational.  I’m actually using it as the recommended reading for a teen-age retreat I’m doing in October.  It’s so powerful to read about these women of faith – guess what?  They are a whole lot like you and me.

Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic, by Martha Beck.  This book looks great!  Can’t wait to read it.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14   (again!) “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Do you get uncomfortable very often? Why/why not?  And do you risk humility?   I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #023: Michelle DeRusha – Spiritual Misfit and 50 Women Every Christian Should Know (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Best practices for how to start (and run) a business with a friend
• The importance of transparency and forgiveness
• How to tap into the power of mentorship
• Strategies for handling conflicts when they arise

Part 2:  Forgiveness

• Is a choice
• Requires action (and it’s HARD!)
• Must be practiced
• Will reach it’s conclusion

Website Links:

www.strongbodywholeheart.com

www.facebook.com/strongbodywholeheart

www.twitter.com/sbwheart

http://instagram.com/sbsheart_kelly,     http://instagram.com/sbwheart_maggie

Recommended Reading:
Forgiveness: Finding Peace Through Letting Go, by Adam Hamilton

Courage: Igniting Self-Confidence, by Debbie Ford

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Brene Brown

Encouraging Word of the Week: Matthew 6:9-13 – The Lord’s Prayer     “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Question:  Have you ever thought of starting a business with a friend?  Did you do it?  Why or Why not?  What about the transparency section of this show?  Is that something you struggle with or is it more natural for you?  Finally, how have you experienced forgiveness in your life?  I’d love to read your thoughts and answers below!

The post #022: Strong Body Whole Heart – Kelly & Maggie and Forgiveness (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• The power of friendship
• The true nature of God – Redeemer!
• The importance of routine
• Protecting your time

Part 2:  4 Keys to Growing Friendships

1. Be Friendly
2. Be Authentic
3. Be Giving
4. Be there

Website links:

www.kaybruner.com  This is Kay’s home base and where you can find everything from her blog to her book to her favorite things.  Tons of great information and encouragement here.

Kay’s Recommended Reading:
As Soon As I Fell: A Memoir by Kay Bruner.  I had to put this at the top of the list.  Please get this to support Kay!  Fabulous!

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  A classic on how to set boundaries for yourself.  I need to get this one out and re-read it.  I love this book!

The Search For Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes, by  Robert McGee.  A classic.  Once again, so thankful to be reminded to get this back out and re-read it.  I first read it in college – ‘ya think I might have a different perspective now?

Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith, by Anne Lamott.  I was a bit skeptical of this author…until I read her!  I would love to meet her in person.  What an honest voice.  If you have never read her personal works – by all means start here!

Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging, by Brennan Manning.  New to me.  After reading about this book, I will be adding it to my “must read” list.

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom, by Henri Nouwen.  Wow!  This book looks like one we all could benefit from.  Another that’s on its way to my house.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14   “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Did her story resonate with you like it did with me?  Which part gave you chills?  And do you live like you are “Loved, Safe and Chosen?”   I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #021: Kay Bruner – Authenticity and Friendship (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself just kind of “in a funk”.  Leaving the house in a rush and escaping to a restaurant to read and write and work because I don’t want to say a truthful thing to a house guest who hurt my feelings.

I fall into the same pattern of behaviors that have ill-served me over the years.  Apparently I’m pretty good at persuasive communication and not-so-hot at honest, vulnerable communication.  So instead of saying, “Wow, that behavior of yours hurt me,” I grab my computer, books and rush out the door to drop the kids at school and escape the uncomfortable feelings bubbling up inside me.

I am obviously bothered by these feelings because I woke up this morning at 2:17am just in time to watch the Amtrack train cross the trestle heading south.  And when I couldn’t go back to sleep by 3:30, I slipped to the kitchen for my cure-all, Advil, and went back to bed deeply breathing my mantra “God made me enough” over and over again.

And these feelings rage around inside of me and I can’t figure out how to say it nicely.  And then I read the blog posts of my most current wonder-woman Crystal Paine and think how little I”m producing and how slow my progress and all the other not-enough lies that come from comparison and I wonder if any of my dear readers ever feel this same way?

Do you have an agenda list 2 miles long and somehow just can’t seem to get accomplished what you want to get accomplished?  Do you have things to say and instead of being Brave (Brene Brown) or a Warrior (Glenna Melton) you suck it back inside and smolder?  I’m sorry if you do this.  I’m sorry I do this.  I want to be the woman who bravely speaks and lives her truth.

You might even look at me and think, “Christy is a clear communicator,” “She speaks the truth in love,” but then you would be looking at my outside and not my stress-induced rash or my marriage that’s in a hard spot or my sadness with some of my most personal relationships.

My dear sisters.  We are on a journey and I want to encourage you on yours while I encourage myself on mine.  I will write this post and maybe post it, and then I will create my own list of 3 4 things I will do to pull myself out of this pit and get busy doing what I was put on earth to do.

1. Remember that your mission is uniquely your own.  The journey you are on only you can travel. You are the right person for the right job.  Claim your mission with thankfulness. Here’s mine.  God first cliche, but true – Oh how He loves you and me! My Husband, love him unconditionally.  My children love them without expectations.  My work/health.  Programs to write, people to encourage, miles to run.
2. Revisit your Goals.  What is the most important next step?  See programs to write, above.
3. Get busy doing something of value that will move you towards those goals.  Don’t check Facebook or read over other (better) blogs.  Get busy producing.  I always feel better when I produce.
4. Ignore the other 3 things until you face your fear.  Say the uncomfortable thing you need to say.  (More action!)  Today I will be brave.  I promise you I will figure out the words to say.  I will not try to convince.  I will be honest and vulnerable.  Yuck.  Just thinking about it twists my gut into a knot.  But I will do this today first because I want to grow.  I want to start defaulting into the better choices instead of the old ones that produce negative results.  And I know I have to practice to get better.  Today I will practice.

And so I offer to you these thoughts.  My heart hopes you will not judge me too harshly.  Instead, I hope you find some encouragement in my struggling path for your own path.  Maybe you will even feel better because this is not your struggle.  You got this!  Be thankful, and pass this along to someone in your life who is struggling.  Because maybe she needs to be reminded that she really is the right person for her right job and the world is waiting.

Deuteronomy 31:6  “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Question:  I’ll leave my results from today in the comments section. I’d love to hear your results too!  Please encourage me by leaving your comments below.

The post Practice Makes…A Life appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here’s a list of the books I read to avoid my “to do” list.  (They are all really good books!)  I talk about them a bit in the podcast too.

The Bookman’s Tale: A Novel of Obsession, by Charlie Lovett

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know

You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, by Dr. Joe Dispenza

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown

On Writing: 10th Anniversary Edition: A Memoir of the Craft, by Stephen King

All In: You Are One Decision Away From a Totally Different Life, by Mark Batterson

The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, Lysa TerKeurst

So, there’s a huge list of ways to avoid doing what you need to be doing. Only one of these was really directly impacting something on my list. (Lysa’s book)

Strategies for you to implement to reclaim your light:

1. Figure out what you really want.  And find the fear that’s keeping you stuck.  (Fear of Not enough, Fear of Rejection or Fear of Success)
2. Take the first steps towards what you want.
3. Let yourself celebrate your victory.  (Even if it seem insignificant in the overall effort.)

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Matthew 5: 14-16  “You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

The post #017: Throw Down Fear and Light Up (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas From this Interview:

• The Power of Friendship
• The importance of supporting each other as women
• Getting through difficult times with grace
• Imperfect is perfect

Website Referenced in Podcast:  http://www.derailingmydiagnosis.com

Best Book Resources: 

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Part 2: How to Develop and Deepen Your Friendships

1. Make friendship a priority — schedule time for this
2. Nurture your friendships
3. Look for places to connect with like-minded people
4. Be friendly

Resources for Developing Friendships:

How to Win Friends & Influence People
This book is just a classic.  Although some of the wording is a bit “old fashioned” the principles are timeless and you’ll be able to use and apply idea after idea.   As an added bonus, the first person to subscribe, rate and review this podcast in iTunes will get this book as a gift from me.  Just email me and let me know you wrote the review and I’ll get the book out to you.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 17:17 –  “A friend loves at all times.”

Question:  What do you think makes a great friend? How do you nurture your friendships? Do you have any examples of a friend who showed you out of the ordinary love?  Please leave your comments below.

The post #010: Naomi Yamamoto – Cultivating Connections and How To Be a Great Friend (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

First things first.   Yes, this was written on my whiteboard by my Amelia.  I love how she spells, and I really love how she is focused on what is important.  As I mentioned at the end of May, my weight loss challenge was a  “failure”.  The month was really GREAT in other areas…but…

Do you ever do that?  When the one thing you really want to achieve doesn’t happen, you write off the whole month?  That is SO MUCH my tendency.  But I’m learning and growing and so today I celebrate all the good things that happened in May.  My podcast launched!  I made it to iTunes New and Noteworthy thanks to all the amazing reviews!  I kept up with semi-regular blogs.  I recognized that I have a focus on perfectionism.  This is actually the first time I’m figuring out that I really am a perfectionist in quite a few areas of my life. Yeah! Growth! The book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are is really helping me (and I think it would help you too if this is your struggle).

My girlfriend told me about a trainer who helps you re-set your metabolism.  Seriously, I have tried everything (too many to go into here) and I’m sure my metabolism is as sluggish at the pink goop McDonalds uses for it’s chicken nuggets.  So, as soon as I finish this blog post, I’m going to call him up and get an appointment.  Can’t hurt, and it just might help.  I’ll keep you posted!

Now to the really important stuff.  The “I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off” syndrome that mysteriously reappears every June.  If this is something you can relate to, here are my top 5 ideas for getting back on track.  I’m going to start them right after I finish this post and call that magical trainer…

1.  Write down what you want to accomplish. When everything is going crazy, the easiest thing in the world is to forget what you really need to do.  The urgent jumps up to the top of your mind and you lose track of the important.  Writing it down will give you clarity and free up your brain.
2. Prioritize.  My guess is that your list is crazy long.  Everything from put in a load of wash to contact that client.  I find that prioritizing is a huge help since I RARELY finish everything on my list during the day. I feel really good when I can check off each item and know the most important thing has been done.  If you struggle with prioritizing and procrastinating, I’ll encourage you to read Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy.  This book is full of great practical suggestions for how to get the hard stuff done. I re-read my copy at least once a year to keep me on track.
3. Keep the list handy.  I sometimes write a list and then close my notebook and forget about it.  Don’t do that!  Keep it open and handy so you can check off things as you do them.  It also helps you stay on task.
4. Set aside 40-50 minutes to work without distractions.  Do whatever it takes to be uninterrupted.  Work while the baby is asleep.  Get up early. Stay up late.  Shut the door.  Turn on the TV for heaven’s sake.  That’s why PBS was invented!  You get my drift.  Set the time and work undistracted.  You will be amazed at how effective and productive you will be in such a short amount of time.
5. Celebrate your wins!  You did it!  You accomplished something today.  Go kiss your kids, pet the dog and jump in the pool. You’re going to need it ’cause tomorrow it starts all over again.  Big hugs from sunny, hot (105!) and summery Redding.

Question:  How do you handle the challenges summer brings?  What are your best practices?.  Share please.  We’d love to know!  Just post your ideas below in the comments section.

The post 5 Steps to Stop Running Around Like a Chicken With Your Head Cut Off appeared first on Christy Largent.

I hemmed and hawed and finally blurted out “because I don’t want to buy shorts in this big size, it’s not who I really am.” She quickly replied, “Then you need to get on it and quit talking about it. Here’s your challenge Mama.  This month, no sugar, few carbs and move every day.” Ouch. Did I mention Amelia is 10 years old?

My first diet was when I was 10 years old. I wanted to be just like this girl named Jill. She was tall and skinny. She had long brown stringy hair. I was short and round with lush and lovely long brown hair. I didn’t see my beautiful hair, just that I wasn’t thin enough.  And so it began. That was 1973.

Today is May 2, 2014 (40 years!!!) and I’m still caught in the “not enough” web. Interestingly enough, I’m currently reading a book by Brene Brown called Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead I’m only about 1/3 of the way through but I believe this will be a life changing book for me.  Shame, perfectionism, fear, vulnerability. All these topics are covered in a fresh way. How can I have been so ashamed of who God made me for all these years? How has that shame etched it’s way down into my soul so that I fear it colors every thought? What if I can dare greatly and banish the shame? At least for today.

Amelia hit a nerve. A raw nerve. It’s raw from worry and thought and effort and guilt and sadness and frustration and fear. Most of all fear. For now that I’ve hit 50, my body is so different than it ever was before. Before, I could just hold on by the skin of my teeth and have some semblance of normalcy. Now, my body is horrific to my eyes. Can I be that honest here? Do any of you relate?

For the past 4 weeks I have been taking a learn to podcast class called Podcasting A-Z with Cliff Ravenscraft.  www.podcastanaserman.com  Podcasting is intimate and personal. I’ve come to know my fellow class members as friends and comrades. Pretty much none of us have ever done anything like podcasting before. We’re all new. We’re all learning. Which means most of us are showing our “weaknesses” to each other. And it’s ok. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. We are Daring Greatly together.

What I have noticed is that the more “real” we are with each other, the more progress we are making. Can I be “real” here on this blog? In my podcast? I believe I have to be. I am able to help you with your communication skills, with understanding the various Personalities in your life. With improving your life. And at the same time, I want to be transparent with you. To share with you my struggles and victories.

Why? Because I know many of you are struggling with the same “not enough” problem that I am. And maybe as I learn how to grow through it I will inspire you to do the same.

So back to this morning. On the way home from dropping the kids I turned on Dr. Kevin Leman’s “Have a New Child By Friday” podcast. I kid you not, the first words out of his mouth were “You have to flaunt your imperfections...if you want to loose a few pounds, post your weight at your office…Be sure to print your name…and then post that weight for the whole office to see. Then the following Monday, weigh yourself and post the new weight.” Hmmm…..”Flaunt Your Imperfections.”

So, in the spirit of the day, week and month. Here goes. Every Friday morning I will write a little post with an update on my challenge. My passion to get fit and healthy will be detailed here.  In the spirit of transparency…187. Three little numbers. I’ll plan on encouraging you weekly with my progress. Please encourage me with yours.

Question: Are you Daring Greatly? Please share. I dare you.

The post She Gave Me A Challenge… appeared first on Christy Largent.