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I see the images coming across my Instagram feed and the stories filtering over my Facebook page.

Parents hugging, kissing, laughing, sorting, hauling, setting up (exquisite) dorm rooms, exploring, letting go, laughing some more, and crying.

I have 1 heading off for her second full year at UT, and to be honest, I have some really mixed emotions right now.

You see, our original college dropoff was fall of 2021 when we left our oldest as a HS senior for her to attend the Texas Academy of Math and Science up at the University of North Texas.

To be honest, I had an idealized vision of what it would be like to move her into her dorm. I’d use my background as a professional interior designer to help her create a beautiful, charming, inviting place of respite and calm amid the challenges of college.

I pictured helping her move in and get everything settled, pictures hung, lights strung, and a fuzzy throw blanket across the back of her desk chair. Kissing and hugging goodbye I’d cry on the way home, having dropped my eldest off, knowing things would never be the same again.

Well, I cried on the way home, but for a very different reason than I thought I would.

For starters, she wanted nothing to do with my vision of a fabulous dorm room. Utilitarian was her battle cry and she wanted it as sterile and stark as possible. No throw rugs, sparkle lights or beautiful art. Not for this girl.

I finally wrapped my mind around that, and at least looked forward to helping her move in with what she did let me get her.

Instead, as we got there and began unloading, she definitely didn’t want help putting her room together. I kept hovering, trying to help, but she was on a mission. Everything unpacked by herself and set up by herself.

She didn’t want any input or help from me other than taking out the trash.

In fact, she couldn’t get us out of there fast enough.

I get this. I do. This was about her, not me. But it was really tough for me.

That’s how it is with expectations. We have a vision, how it “should” be, of whatever it is…marriage, parenthood, our work, or, more specifically, moving a kid into college, the empty nest, our “retirement” years…

And for some reason, our expectations are way off base.

What do we do then?

It’s how we handle these unmet expectations that can really take our joy in life off course.

But the magic is that this is where we get to practice the skills we work on, our lovingkindness, our generosity, our patience, our trustworthiness.

During the difficult times are when those skills really count.

When we are able to manage our thoughts so they are working for us instead of against us.

When we can generate good feelings for ourselves in the midst of, let’s face it, less than perfect/desirable circumstances.

I’m so thankful that this year I have a lot more developed skills in this area than I did 2 years ago.

Now when Amelia insists on doing everything herself, I can notice her actions and if I start feeling rejected, I can recognize that it hurts, let myself sit with it until that feeling dissipates, then, I can change my thinking and think how thankful I am she’s so self-sufficient and focused on what’s most important to her.

Because when I think how grateful I am she’s confident and purposeful, I feel happy and even more grateful and hopeful for her future, which helps me be a more supportive and encouraging Mother. (Which is what I want to be!)

Oh, and I can have her Dad take her back down to college without me, which will let us all breathe a bit easier.

I know life isn’t like all those pictures I see on my social media. But going through this exercise helps me stay on track a whole lot more, and I hope it will help you too!

Love you and cheering you on,

Christy

P.S. If you’re curious about this “Think-feel-act” model I keep talking about, my coach Edie Wadsworth has opened her coaching program for a limited time. You can go here to find out more information. (Not an affiliate, just a BIG fan!)

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Gratitude. The foundation for a Positive Life, and the foundation of our Positivity Principles. Gratitude. Easy to think about, but sometimes difficult to live.

In this podcast, Christy gives 3 simple ways to incorporate more gratitude into your life.

Key Idea:

• Gratitude is simple, but takes practice to become a habit.

Resources:

• Christy’s Website

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text “31Positive” to 44222

Book:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 5 Minute Motivation – Gratitude appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

You get to create the environment you want to create. Positivity can be learned with work and effort.

Resources: 

• Christy’s website

Books:

• 31 Positive Communication Skills for Women, Christy Largent

Mindset:

• The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

Free Download:

• “31 Ways to be More Positive”. Text 31Positive to 44222

Speaking Inquiries:

• Do you need an entertaining and encouraging speaker for your event? Text 530-949-3646 and leave a call back number or email christy@christylargent.com

Enter to Win:

• Rate & Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.

The post 048 Welcome Back Podcast appeared first on Christy Largent.

January is almost over, and I didn’t quite finish what I started.

But, here’s the good thing. It’s turning out even BETTER than I had planned!

Starting with the clearing out  — I decluttered extensively and filled my car twice with trips to the Goodwill. Win! The storage closet in which I was planning to store the out of season leftovers, fell down into the clothes closet below. I know. Don’t ask.

But, the positive result will be even better storage once my husband completes the repair project. So let’s call that a not quite checked off the list but well on it’s way to completion success!

If you want to declutter too, may I suggest my friend Kathi Lipp’s easy to read and even easier to put into practice book, Clutter Free. You’ll love it and it will help you declutter your life!

Regarding the second part of my goals…here’s where it gets interesting…

As I was working on the content to be added to my website, I knew I needed video of me speaking, testimonials, information about my programs and an updated about me page. I wanted it to look like a speaker’s site, not a blogger/podcasters site.

I found some super smart people to help me with the technical aspects of this, and I began researching sites of some of my favorite National Speakers Association speakers to see what ideas I could steal borrow and change to make my own.

There are some awesome people out there to emulate! People like Neen James and Connie Podesta and Laura Stack and Tami Evans. And lots more incredible women who are really dominating in the public speaking space.

In the course of my research, I was drilling down to make sure my message was crystal clear on every level. I reached out to Neen James, who is known for her dynamic and fun delivery combined with her stellar content. I had seen her speak this past July at the NSA Convention, and was very intrigued with how she had packaged and delivered her message.

She was so helpful! She basically told me what I had come up with was no good and not unique at all. Boring. Her magic words were, Christy, I looked at your site, and I can’t book you from what you are telling me there. I don’t know what you offer.

Yikes! Just what I needed to hear. (Actually, I thought my site was shaping up nicely! So how awesome to get that kind of honest and relevant feedback!)

So in the past 2 weeks, I’ve gotten to work drilling down to the essence of Christy. Neen asked me, What have you put your 10,000 hours into Christy? What lessons have you learned over and over and over in your life that you can share with your audience? 

I’m still working on teasing it all out, but I am so close! And I’m so excited! Because instead of just being a “High Energy Motivational Speaker who teaches you how to get along and connect” I’m going to be framing it in a personal and more meaningful way that will be much more interesting and unique.

Which means YOU will be getting better content because I’ll be filtering it in a more effective way.

Here’s what I’ve learned from this whole experience. Maybe they will help you too!

1. Even if you don’t know exactly where it’s going to end up, get started getting busy on what you want to do.  The de-cluttering project revealed the storage problem. Had I waited, there would still be piles everywhere and the closet would still be a problem! If I hadn’t begun the research, I would never have seen the huge gaping holes in my website/speaking project.
2. Reach out for help. I knew I couldn’t deal with all the technical changes I’ll be needing in the course of changing my website. I found experts in those areas to help me. That even relates to me reaching out to Neen. (I didn’t know her personally before.)
3. Be willing to look at the same things differently. You know I’ve been speaking on the topics of communication skills, customer service, and personality styles for almost 20 years. This month, I’ve looked at my body of work in a whole new way, and I’m coming out the other end the better for it.

What about you? How did your January go? Are you still on track to make this your Best Year Ever? I hope so.  Let me know in the comments below, or comment on FB.

The post It was Guilt Free and Painless appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here are the 3 steps I use:

1. Consider where you were when you set the goals.
2. Look at what you’ve accomplished so far.
3. Consider what’s still left to do and readjust if necessary

Encouraging Word for the day:  Psalms 20:4  “May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans.”

The post #513: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Purposeful (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I want to share a few words of encouragement.  Sunday’s holiday used to be one of the saddest days of my year.  I know the pain of dashed hopes and deferred dreams.  And I’ve found some ways to navigate that I think might be helpful to you too.  Listen in for more!

Key Ideas:

1.  Remember – “Not now” doesn’t mean “Never”

2.  Managing Expectations

3.  When the difficulties come, hang on.

4.  Look for the sunshine

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Psalm 37:4  “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you all the desires of your heart.”

The post #047: Encouragement for Mother’s Day (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Today I share the “aha” moment I had that has helped me to do a turnaround when in conflict.  Learning how to be transparent can be transformational.

Recommended Books:

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Luke 6:38 “Give and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

The post #512: 5 Minute Motivation – Be Transparent (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Remember, when giving feedback, it’s important to…

• Be Specific
• Be Honest
• Be Clear

Today is about how to be so clear the other person knows EXACTLY what you want them to do.  It’s the perfect way to complete your thoughts — creating an effective feedback opportunity.

Encouraging Word of the Day:  Ephesians 4:25  “So let us put away the lies, and speak the truth to one another, because we are all part of one another.”

The post #511: 5 Minute Connection – Be Clear (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

This week I’m in Orlando, Florida at the Launch Conference, put on by Ken Davis and his Dynamic Communicators event team.  I’m learning so much, and more importantly, I’m being pushed into action while making connections with top thinkers and doers.

I love this stuff.  That’s because I love learning.  And let’s face it, taking online classes and going to conferences is a heck of a lot cheaper than going back to college!

And the other thing is that I’m putting into practice what I’m learning.  This blog, my podcast, my soon to be published book are all evidence of this training getting put into practice.

So I wanted to ask you…how are you investing in yourself this year?  Have you taken time to read an inspiring book?  Have you started learning a new skill with an online class?

Let’s break it down to the super simple.  Have you Googled or YouTubed how to do something new this year?

You might be living in fear like I was.  Afraid to try something that might be uncomfortable or has the possibility of being imperfect (Gasp!)

But seriously,

The #1 Benefit to learning something new is…

You’ll feel really, really, really good!

My brother has always been the smart one in our family.  He was the math wiz at an early age.  For me however, anything to do with math and I’d run.  Add computer to that, and yikes!  That was a recipe for nightmares in my book.

I developed an aversion to anything that might even get close to doing math on the computer.  And of course, every year tax season was a huge burden as I had to manually deal with all my receipts etc.

This year I was challenged to get a Quick Books program.  I bit the bullet and got the program.  I went to a training and then got some personalized tutoring on how to use it.  I entered my entire year’s worth of data into the program.  And guess what?

It was so incredible!!  I did it!  I printed out my very first profit and loss statement!  And even more amazing…I FELT WONDERFUL!!!  I was so darned strong, happy and empowered when I finished I literally felt like Wonder Woman!  If any bullets had been flying by, I’m sure I could have deflected them with my magical quickbooks bracelets of gold.  Simply amazing!

Seriously.  You HAVE to try this!  I think part of why it felt so amazing was that I didn’t think I could do it, and so when I did it, it was a double happiness hit. Ahhhhh!

I want this for you!  (I know I’m using a lot of exclamation marks today…but I’m sure it’s the only way I can convey to you the enormous mounds of emotion that this achievement raised for me!!)

Do you want to learn how to use a new program?  Are you eager to try a new cooking technique, but been worried it would turn out poorly?  Maybe it’s dance lessons that are calling out to be taken, but you don’t want to feel silly by being the youngest in the class.

Or even more seriously, do you need/want/fear a conversation with your husband about something important and deeply felt by you, but you’re not sure how to say it so you say nothing?  Speaking the truth in love is a skill you can learn…I know how scary it feels, yet how exhilarating it is after the conversation actually happens.

All this I want for you so much.  I want you to experience the rush of adrenalin that comes from actually doing that thing you’ve been fearing.  For me, all it took was that silly computer program. What is it for you? I’d love to hear.

The post The #1 Benefit of Learning Something New This Month appeared first on Christy Largent.

But he was gone.  Buried in a borrowed grave.  It had been a pretty dramatic and disgusting end to the whole thing too.  For Pete’s sake.  Well actually, Pete had his own embarrassing episode during the whole long, drawn out fiasco.

What a waste.  Three long years.  They had walked away from their careers, their families, everything in order to follow their Pied Piper.  He promised.  And now he was gone.

We know they had lost hope because when the miracle happened and He really was gone from the tomb and the women tried to tell the disciples all about it, this was their response, “They did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense.”  Luke 24:11  Does that sound like men who were waiting with bated breath for their dream to resurrect?

And maybe today, on the Saturday before Easter you have lost hope too.

Maybe your marriage has crashed and burned and all those dreams you had when you were dressed in white are cindered, black and smelly.

Maybe you got that pink slip yesterday.  Your high hopes of promotion and growth and success now seem about as likely as a trip to Pluto.

Maybe, God forbid, your child is gone. And that has torn everything thing you thought you knew to be true into disarray leaving you stripped, barren, broken.

Not a single shard of hope.  You get it.  You know how those disciples felt.  And yet.

And yet.

Their story wasn’t over.  Your story isn’t over.

And actually, all because Sunday already came, you don’t have to be hopeless either.  You can cling to that resurrected reality, even if by the slenderest of threads.

Oh dear friend, cling as hard as you can.  And then, it will be the resurrected Christ who will come and hold you up.  He is the one who will restore your heart.  I promise.  He promises.

After the resurrection, Jesus appeared to his disciples you know.  They were actually all huddled fearfully together, locked in some hidden room when he came to them.  And the first words out of his mouth were these, “Peace be with you.” (John 20:19)

Can you imagine?!?  Peace.  After all that.

Peace.

So today as we await our own celebration of resurrection on Easter Sunday, let’s join together and open our weary, discouraged and hopeless souls to his exquisite, soothing balm of peace.

Peace.

The post Hope Lost and Found appeared first on Christy Largent.

Or at least it was a blast the last time I took the class.  This morning, not so much.  You see, I’m out of practice.  I’ve been doing other things in the morning.  Specifically sleeping.  So I’m just a tad bit out of spinning shape.

If you’ve ever been a spinner, you know what I’m talking about.  After you’ve been spinning a month or so you kind of find your groove.  You figure out how to push yourself without throwing up.  You know what I’m talking about.

But this morning everything was different.  I was sooooo slow!  My mind said, “Legs, push!”, and the legs surged forward with all the strength of a noodle.  And while I was struggling for breath and willing myself forward, I realized there were a few universal ideas I was being reminded of as I reacclimatized myself into spinning shape.  I thought I’d share them with you.

1.  Your ride is different than the teacher’s and everyone else’s ride.  That’s right.  You have your own rhythm, your own style and your own timing.  Just like in life.  Your  journey is uniquely your own.  It may or may not mirror the journey of your boss or your best friend.  What matters is that you figure out what your ride is and ride it with all your heart.  It will be the best possible ride.  Uniquely yours.

2.  The unknown will bring blessings all it’s own.  This morning Silas played music I had never heard before.  I’m a musical person and I like to think I am sort of connected to what’s happening in today’s music scene.  But this morning I only recognized 1 song.  Out of the 12 or so songs he played, only 1!  I couldn’t believe it!  But you know what, I loved it!  I embraced the newness of that music and reveled in the energy it helped pump through my increasingly tired legs.  The blessing of the unknown kept me engaged to the very end of every song rather than anticipating the ending as I normally would have done.

Often when we are faced with the unknown, our tendency is to avoid, right?  New co-worker.  Walk down the other hall so you won’t have to engage with her.  Or that difficult decision you’re waiting to hear back on.  You avoid checking your emails or voicemails because you don’t want to have to hear potential bad news.  Or how about what I’m struggling with right now…fear of the unknown.  I don’t know how to do some of the technical details required to get my book published, so instead of powering through, I’m avoiding through other activities.  (Like this post if the truth be told!)  Let’s embrace our unknown together.

3.  When you’ve done the hard thing, you will feel amazing!  Yes.  As the hour moved to a close, I was so happy!  Spent. Yes.  Exhausted. Yup. Empowered. Absolutely!  In fact, as I was getting off the bike and grabbing the cleaning papers to wipe it down, I actually thought to myself, “Now, THIS is a way to get my week of to a great start!  I’ll bet I get a ton accomplished today.”

I didn’t think that because I was a seriously good rider.  No way!  I thought that because I did something uncomfortable – several somethings actually…but the end result was what I really wanted.  A stronger heart, firmer legs (maybe someday) and most of all, completion of a desired task.

How about you?  What can you jump into today to give yourself a spin?  How can you challenge yourself to ride your own ride, embrace the unknown and revel in the feeling of accomplishment that will ensue?  I’d love to hear your stories!

The post 3 Lessons from Getting Spun this Morning appeared first on Christy Largent.

You won’t find sugar coating and happy endings here.  What you will find is HOPE in all capital letters.  Because Michele is not a christian in name only.  She lives a gut wrenching faith through the depths of trial and despair.

Since Michele couldn’t be on the show due to the fact she’s in the middle of healing from her most recent cancer surgery, I decided to review the book and go over my biggest take-aways.  If you read my blog post yesterday, I covered these briefly there, but today I take it deeper.

And I have a special ending where you will hear from Michele herself doing what she does best.  Telling a story.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life Highlights

• With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.
• There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.
• Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.

Part 2 – My Decision before I become Undone!

• Making hard choices
• Being realistic
• Staying focused

Website Links

Michele Cushat

Recommended Reading

Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, by Michele Cushat

Connect with Michele

On Facebook

On Twitter

On Instagram

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Jeremiah 29:11  “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

The post #043: Michele Cushatt – Undone Book Review (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

When I started Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, I had a tiny idea of what to expect.  After all, my friend, Michele Cushatt, speaker, blogger, co-host of the top rated podcast This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt, MC for Women of Faith, had been diagnosed with cancer last year.  Or should I say re-diagnosed.  So I knew she had some challenging times in her past and present, I just didn’t know how earth shattering those challenges really were.

Most of us would be buried under the weight of those burdens.  Broken marriage. Single parenting.  Blended family.  Cancer.  Rebellious kids.  Foster parenting. Cancer again.  And again.  Oh my!

But the reason I want you to read this book is not because of how horrible it all is, but how incredibly wonderful it all is.  That’s right.  Wonderful.  Because Michele shares the entire story with an underlying peace and calm that’s completely inspiring.  Her faith is deep and her writing is lyrical, so you are carried along.  Even in the midst of becoming Undone, this really is, as her tag line reads, A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life.

She weaves so many ideas throughout this wrenchingly honest and brave memoir, it’s hard to pick just a few.  But of course I did (since I love 3-point take-aways), and following are 3 things I want you to remember the next time YOU are coming Undone.

1.  With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.  When Michele was struggling with chronic pain, a body that wouldn’t heal, and a root canal in an already raw mouth, she realized she was booked to speak at a huge women’s conference.  This was an opportunity she had worked for and was really looking forward to.  But seriously. Picture yourself in that situation.  As my mother would say, “She was just beside herself.”

But God.  Michele’s prayer, “God.  I have nothing.  Nothing.  You’re going to have to show up in a big way.  The Advil too.  I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”  

Here’s what happened,

“For two days, women who heard my story lined up at my book table, one by one sharing their own stories of heartache;  of broken marriages, wayward children, and the difficult wrestlings of this life of faith.  Again and again, I abandoned a chair to grasp hands with a stranger, close my eyes and pray.  Together we poured out our hearts to a God we desperately needed but didn’t always understand.  Real, broken, in-progress women trying so very hard to live.”

Yup.  What you never thought you could do.

2.  There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.  Story after story Michele weaves a beautiful tapestry out of all the yuck she has waded through.

• A failed marriage brought a brand new ministry to single moms.  And more.
• A tough new marriage and blended family brought a new appreciation for  imperfection and second chances.  And more.
• Cancer.  And more cancer.  I can’t even start on that list — too many good things to write down in this post!  Can you even believe that!!  It’s true!

And my biggest take-away of all…

3.  Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.  Michele had some of the most magical opportunities presented to her in the midst of her cancer and other challenges.  Many of us might have passed on the opportunities because of all the other stuff going on.  But not Michele.  We can learn from her choices.

When prospects of a quickly approaching empty nest were put to bed on the heels of “one phone call that came with three children,” Michele and her husband moved forward into their new life.  It wasn’t pretty, but they didn’t shun the opportunity because it wasn’t what they had imagined.  Instead they embraced it.   And when you read the book, you’ll understand all the beauty that came (and is coming) from that choice.

Can you tell I loved this book!   If you’ve ever felt just a tad bit “Undone” then get this book.  If you have a friend who is the midst of “Undone”, then get this book and give it to her.  Your friend will thank you.  Michele will thank you.  I’ll thank you.

Because really, isn’t that what it’s all about as we struggle through this life?  Encouraging each other.  Loving each other.  All because HE first loved us.  Making the most of every day because the days are short.

Love ya!

Christy

Question:  What are some of the ways you are able to survive when you’re coming undone?  Please leave your answers below, or in the comments on FB or Twitter.

Note: Quotes are from Michele Cushatt’s book, Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life. All rights reserved.

The post 3 Things to Remember When You Are Coming Undone appeared first on Christy Largent.

“That Feeling” = Tight chest, shallow breathing, head spinning, general feeling of high anxiety about all the things I should be doing, hadn’t done or missed doing.

About 6 months ago, I realized that when my body has this visceral reaction, I needed to pay attention.

It wasn’t just the physical I was experiencing.  Because at the same time, my mind was going wild and I felt:  Overwhelmed.  Ashamed.  Anxious.  Behind.  Embarrassed.  Frustrated.  Scared.  Not Enough.  And again Ashamed.

So I stopped, took a few deep breaths, remembered what I was supposed to, wanted to get busy doing, and thought I would take my own minute of re-connection to re-connect with you and share with you what worked for me, just in case you have ever felt like this too.

1. Stop.  This is where you readjust yourself physically.  You MUST do this first, even before anything else.  Physically stop and breathe.  Close your eyes, sit up straight, gently move your head and shoulders to realign.  Focusing on nothing but the air, breathe in deeply, all the way to your bellybutton.  Do it again.  And one more time.  You should start feeling a bit of relief right away.
2. Think.  This is where you readjust your mind.  Let go of all the negative you just veered off course into. Remind yourself of what you want to do.  Your calling.  Your passion.  Let go of the comparison.  (Yup, my guess is that’s at the root of this particular melt-down.)
3. Act.  This is where you do something positive to move yourself in the right direction.  Start doing that thing you just reminded yourself about.  The old saying, “just do the next right thing” really comes in handy here.  You know what it is.  You can do it. Start.

I hope these reminders helped you.  They helped me.  Now I’d better get back to my regularly scheduled programming.

Love ya!

Christy

P.S.  I’d love to hear your stories.  What sends you into a panic?  What is your trigger?  How do you get out of it?  Please leave your comments below, on FB or Tweet it!

The post I Felt Overwhelmed and Ashamed and How I Moved Past It appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The magic bullet of Sleep
• Why you should just say NO!
• Power in Planning
• Focusing on Wellness not Weight
• Learning lessons from failures

Part 2 – My Wellness Journey

Website Links

Connie Clay Website

Dr. Daniel Amen and Amen Clinics

Recommended Resources

Connie’s Book – Quit Skinny!: 7 Simple, Sane Steps to Wellness

The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Get Thinner, Smarter, Happier, by Dr. Daniel Amen

Master Your Metabolism: The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body!, by Jillian Michaels

Jillian Michaels: Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism, Jillian Michaels DVD

And I’m adding this since we talked about saying “No” and it’s not easy! The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

And I’m also adding these – since these are helping me get to the emotional part of why I eat what I eat.
Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food, by Lysa TerKeurst

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More, by Jessica Ortner

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 107:9  “For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.”

The post #038: Quit Skinny with Connie Clay and My Wellness Journey (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Sometimes getting started is the hardest work of all.

Do you know what I mean?  Doing the work is the fun part – getting started is the challenge.  I’m a great one for planning out and creating a big vision broken down into smaller, actionable steps.  But then I have to stop and go get the kids from school or start dinner, or clean up after the dog.

And once I’m stopped, it’s often difficult to get back into the swing of work again.  So, as a practical matter, I’ve decided to use my early morning hours as a kind of “bonus” time for the next year month, and see how it works out.  I’ll let you know!

I’m behind on my podcasts and obviously on my blog posts as well…to be honest, I’ve been a bit distracted as I’m beginning a new nutrition plan. (Notice how I didn’t say “diet”.) After doing all my work on goals and plans for 2015, the one thing staring me in the face was that big-old-fat goal of losing weight!

I know for some of you, you have NO IDEA what I’m talking about.  You never saw a cookie you couldn’t resist.  But many of you will be tracking along with me here. Right?

For some reason, this weight albatross has been hanging around for far too long and I’ve decided to get some help cutting it off…No, not a surgeon!  But I’m working with both a physical coach and a mental coach to get me realigned with where I really want to be.

Last Friday when I walked up the steps to my first appointment with the health coach, my heart was beating a tattoo, my hands were shaking and I had that familiar tight feeling in my chest. (No, not from taking the stairs either!)

As we got into the meeting and she began taking my measurements, she just chuckled.  “You don’t like this much, do you Christy?”  I grinned ruefully as she added, “It’s written all over your face.”

All I could think about was what if this doesn’t work.  What if I fail again?  And what on earth makes me think I can be successful this time when I’ve failed so many, many times before?  And how embarrassing this whole thing is anyway.

But right in the middle of our conversation I realized this is nothing but that ravaging beast FEAR rearing it’s nasty head once again.  Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough. Fear of…well, you fill in the blank.

Because this time my fear was wrapped around the ridiculous obstacle of weight loss.  But what is yours wrapped around? And how can you be brave and fearless in overcoming it today?

My personal prescription for bravery today includes writing this blog post.  Being honest with you about what’s going on with me feels quite scary and dare I say it…vulnerable?

Because, after all, I’m a speaker and trainer on communication skills – not lifestyle blogging or health and wellness, right?

But one thing I know for sure, is that for me, it’s darn near impossible to keep limping along in failure in this one area, while expecting to be able to give you my A-Game in my professional endeavors. Because after 15 years of this gig – I know you can spot a phony a million miles away.

So I won’t be a phony.  I’ll be authentic with all my foibles.  I’ll lay them out on the table, and then after that’s finished, we’ll get to talk about personality styles, and getting along with difficult people, and how to create fantastic customer relationships, and all the other topics I love to help you with.

I have all kinds of exciting things ahead for us this year.  This month I’ll finally release my 31 Positive Communication Skills for Women Devotional.  Next up I’ve got an awesome free webinar I’ll be offering on the topic of Getting Along With Difficult People.  We’ll follow that up in late February with my first ever online bootcamp — Powerful Communication Skills for Women.  More on all of this later…it’s so exciting!

In the meantime, I’d like to re-vamp my blog schedule a bit.  This is what you can expect.

• Monday:  Communication Skills — Strategies you can use
• Wednesday:  Encouraging Words for Working Moms Podcast
• Friday:  Personality Styles — Bring out the best and dealing with the worst
• Weekend: Update on my weight loss getting fit, healthy and strong journey along with periodic updates on what I’m doing and the books I’m reading.  I really enjoy those posts from some of my favorite bloggers, so I thought since I’m such a reading freak,  I’d share my reading adventures with you.

Well, if you’ve read this far…thank you!  I love you too!  Be sure you’re subscribed to my site to get all the updates, new stuff and freebies I’ll be bringing out this year.

Question:  I’d love to know what your challenges are this year.  Are you already off to the races or are you still circling the bay trying to get up the nerve to get started?  What are you working on this year? What’s holding you back?  I’d love to hear from you!  Just leave your comments below – on the blog or FB – either are great!

The post How’s Your Year Going So Far? My Honest Confession… appeared first on Christy Largent.

No longer will you get consumed by the urgency of life. Everything is going to be intentional and designed to move you closer and closer to the life you’ve always wanted.  And best of all, 12 months from now you’ll be looking back on 2015 with a smile thinking about all that you’ve accomplished in 2015.

It truly will be your Best Year Ever.

Sounds wonderful doesn’t it!  But how on earth is this going to happen?  What’s going to be different this year that will make 2015 different from every other year in your past?  How will you approach this year so that these aren’t just good intentions, but rather your new reality?

On Wednesday, January 7th, you can find out.

My favorite virtual mentor, New York Times best-selling author Michael Hyatt will be delivering a special webinar presentation called:

Get What You Want This Year: 5 Secrets for Finally Accomplishing Your Biggest Goals

It’s designed to help YOU make 2015 your best year ever and I don’t want you to miss it!  You can attend (no charge), by clicking the link below:

Best Year Ever Live Webinar

I know you’ll hear just what you need to hear so that you too can make this your Best Year Ever!

Love ya!

Christy

P.S.  This webinar is FREE and I just learned this morning that they are almost full, so I want you to be sure to get in on this since there won’t be a replay.  Better reserve your place fast!

Best Year Ever Live Webinar

The post Making 2015 Amazing! appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas: 

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• How to get started writing
• Ideas for finding connect in the midst of a dry spell
• How conferences and the global church can heal relationships
• The power of seasonal sabbath
• Using time blocks to create focus
• Making time for what energizes not depletes

Part 2 – Seasons, Community and Getting Energized

• Seasons of Life
• Building Community
• Energy to get Energized

Website Links

Denise Hughes website

Deeper Waters Community

Deeper Waters Retreat, June 26-28, 2015

Team 365

Denise’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain

My Utmost for His Highest: Quality Paperback Edition, by Oswald Chambers

The Pursuit of God, by A. W. Tozer

In This House, We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love, and Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life, by Courtney DeFeo

Favorite Quote:  “If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you can.  If you do not, someone will be the poorer all the days of his life.” Oswald Chambers

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Psalm 133:1  “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”

The post #036: Denise J. Hughes and Community (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1 – Interview highlights

• The Power of small decisions
• What to say when someone you love is making bad decisions
• To keep secrets….or not?
• How to move forward after a bad mistake

Part 2 – Moving through Messiness

• Honesty
• Forgiveness – Colossians 3:12-14
• Face down Fear

Website Links

www.JacqueWatkins.com

The Mud Stories Podcast

Jacque’s Resource Recommendations

www.momastery.com (Glennon Melton)

Jacque’s Recommended Reading

The Daily Bible – In Chronological Order

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp

One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces, by Ann Voskamp

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14  “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

The post #032: Jacque Watkins – It’s a Messy Life (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It was while working at an alternative school, she completed her Master’s degree in special education at Lynchburg College and a doctorate degree in Educational Leadership at the University of Virginia.  She has built Liberty University’s education program to include over 1000 students in the special education program.  Additionally, she has developed a love of sharing what God has laid on her heart over the years as a follower of Christ, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and educator.  We are the benefactors of that love today.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Moving through disappointing times
• The power of remembering
• Trust and Obey
• Flexibility and the importance of keeping a calendar
• How to handle negative feedback

Part 2: Dealing with Disappointments

• Remember the past – Wes King song, Remember
• Float instead of fight
• Have confidence in your creator
• Look to the future with Hope

Website links:

www.womenoffaith.com  This is a link to all of Beth’s blog posts for Women of Faith

www.liberty.edu  This is a link to the list of Beth’s blog posts for Liberty University

Beth’s Recommended Reading:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, by Stephen R. Covey

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry by Ruth Haley Barton

Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist

Contact Beth:

Facebook:  Beth Ackerman

Encouraging Words of the Week:  

Isaiah 12:2   “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  What has been your biggest disappointment and what have you done to move through them?   I’d love to hear your stories, just leave a comment below.

The post #027: Beth Ackerman and Disappointments (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I gave you an example of a dialogue with Tara yesterday.  Today I’m going to give you a fresh dialogue along with some guidelines to follow when having that difficult conversation.

1.  Be honest with yourself.  When someone is difficult, check in with yourself and ask, what is the real issue here?  For example, if Mary made a sarcastic comment in front of your team about the way you’re handling this month’s project, your first reaction might be anger.  But when you check in and are really honest, you’ll recognize that it was embarrassment and awkwardness you were experiencing in the moment.  Additionally, when you were “put down” in front of your team, you could be worried it could potentially minimize your authority as well.

2.  Be willing to be authentically transparent.  Tell Mary the way her behavior affected you.  You don’t have to go into a huge long explanation here – and be careful NOT to insert judgements or generalities here.  Don’t say – “Mary, you were a real jerk when you made that nasty comment about my work in front of my team this morning.”  That’s NOT what we’re looking for!  Instead, say “Mary, when you criticized my work in front of my team this morning I was really uncomfortable.”

3.  Tell her what you want her to do.  Sometimes I’ll hear people tell the difficult person they didn’t appreciate the difficult behavior and then stop the conversation.  Frankly, that does no good at all because most difficult people don’t even get that their behavior is a problem!  You must be specific and tell them what you want them to do.  “Mary, in the future, when you have feedback on my work, I would appreciate it if you would tell me privately.”  Short, specific and without judgements should do the trick.

This conversation may seem hard to do. But rest assured if you do not confront the difficult behavior it will continue.  Remember, that which is rewarded is repeated.  When you ignore their behavior it’s a way of rewarding their behavior.  Be sure to draw your own firm assertive lines so you don’t let the difficult people get the best of you.

I hope this mini-series on difficult people has been helpful.  I’ve enjoyed reminding myself of what works when I get confronted with behavior that’s upsetting to me.  I hope you will incorporate these ideas along with me, and let’s see our relationships blossom!

This is Day 18 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these suggestions have been most helpful to you?  Which can you implement? I’d love to hear your feedback.  Just leave your comments below.

The post Day 18 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 3 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

In answer to my opening question, “Why are you here today?” an older man in the back row raised his hand.  As I called on “Bud”, I took a quick inventory.  I noticed the deeply etched lines of discontent framing his down-turned mouth.  His oversized hands were rough and callused and the wrinkles in his khaki work shirt mirrored those scored across his timeworn face.  As he stood, he placed his hands on his hips, thrust out his chest and loudly proclaimed, “Well, I’m the difficult person, and I’m here today to find out what you’re teaching, so when the people I work with try it on me, it won’t work!”  Hmmm….at least he was honest!

Does “Bud” sound familiar to you?  Difficult People.  Over the next few days I’m going to give you some suggestions for dealing effectively with them.  I’m going to help you bring out the best in  yourself first, then them, and even help you diffuse difficult interactions no matter who’s at fault.  Let’s get started with a few questions.

When you encounter a difficult situation with a difficult person, ask:

1.  Will this matter 5 years from now?  How often have you reacted to something in the moment only to realize later that it really didn’t matter in the big scheme of things?  Yet your reaction left disrupted relationships and hurt feelings.  Before you react, stop.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself this perspective reminding question.

2.  Who is getting the power here?  Sometimes, believe it or not, these difficult people just want to throw the behavior, words, attitude out there to see how we react.  (Interestingly, it’s the same thing my 10 year old does when she wants to see me jump!)  When I take the bait, I’m giving them what they want.  How about recognizing my reaction really gives them the power. Instead, let’s stop, and…

3.  How Can I Respond with the unexpected?  When I was verbally accosted at the gas pump last week by the oversized 40-year-old-surfer-dude on his way to the lake, I just laughed.  Based on his aggressive words, I’m sure he was looking for an argument.  But the whole situation was so ridiculous, laughter was my only possible response.  It stopped his aggression and I was left feeling slightly bemused rather than depleted by the incident.

Interestingly, these questions and behaviors are much easier to do with people you don’t know.  I think that’s because we’re so much more invested and connected with those in our close circle.  It’s that double whammy – we do what we don’t want to with those closest to our hearts!

So try these ideas out on your family and co-workers and see what happens.  I’ll love to hear your feedback.  Check back tomorrow for another set of strategies for dealing with difficult people.

P.S. Happy Birthday Dad!  75 Years Young.  And through the years when I’ve sometimes been the difficult person, you keep on being the most awesome Dad.  I love you!

This is Day 16 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Which of these are you interested in trying?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 16 – Difficult People – Strategies & Solutions (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

1. Will this matter 5 years from now?
2. Who is getting the power here?
3. How can I respond with the unexpected?

By asking these questions, you will remind yourself to respond, not react when engaging with the difficult person.  Now, let’s take a look at our actual conversations.

Have you noticed that sometimes a person becomes difficult in reacting to something you innocently said to them?  Well, following are a few key ideas you can employ to make sure your communication is assertive without inducing defensiveness and anger.

1.  Focus on the problem, not the person.  For example, you co-worker Tara is consistently tardy to work 3 of 5 mornings a week.  Her absence creates problems for you because when she’s not there, you have to handle her work load as well as your own.  Your tendency may be to focus on how irresponsible and lazy and self-absorbed you think Tara is by her chronic tardiness.  Instead, refocus and target the real problem here – don’t make a judgement about her – just focus on her behavior and how it is affecting you.  That way, when you talk with her about her behavior, you won’t be accusatory, you’ll just be able to focus on the facts of her behavior.

2.  Avoid absolutes and generalities.  Always, never, everyone, nobody, nothing, ever.  Do those words sound familiar to you?  Many of us are quick to assign an absolute and/or generality to a problem – like “Tara is always late.” or how about “Everyone knows you don’t really care about your job.”  These statements are most likely incorrect since few of us are always or never anything!  They are also general – and will not help solve the situation.  Stay specifically focused on the problem rather than create a defense response by throwing out glittering generalities and aggressive absolutes.

3.  Get specific.  Target the exact behavior that is bothering you.  For example, instead of saying to Tara, “You’re always late!”, begin your discussion by saying “Yesterday, when you were 10 minutes late to work…”  By getting specific about what you are talking about, and letting them know precisely what you are having trouble with, then you keep the discussion on track and targeted.  The more specific the better.

4.  Clearly state the specifics and then tell them what you would like to see them change.  For example, your conversation with Tara might begin like this; “Tara, when you were 10 minutes late to work 3 times last week I feel really frustrated. I have have to cover my work as well as your own.  I would appreciate it if you could be on time for work, or make arrangements for someone else to cover your duties until you arrive.”  Notice how specific that was?  It had complete facts as well as what I wanted her to do differently.

There’s so much we can talk about when it comes to clear, assertive communication to use especially when dealing with difficult people.  I’m out of room for today, but tomorrow I’m going to give you a few more ideas.  I’m so glad we’re only 1/2 way through the month!  There’s so much more good stuff left to discuss!

This is Day 17 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

Question:  Do you have trouble staying specific?  What do you do to keep from using generalities and assumptions?  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 17 – Difficult People – Strategies and Solutions Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

2.  The Priority No.  This is the one you use with your boss.  When she comes running to you and asks you to drop what you’re doing and get to work immediately on this newer, higher priority project, here’s what you do.  Calmly pull out your list of priorities (discussed with and approved by your boss at the beginning of the current week), and ask her which of these other, prioritized items, she would like you to take off the list so that you can add her new priority project.

This little ploy will remind your boss that you are working off a priority list, and will either cause her to a) go find someone else to do the job – someone who is not working off a priority list, or b) re-think and re-assign the planned-on projects.  Either way, you in a good spot because you’re sticking to the projects as planned, and you won’t get penalized later for not finishing your priority list.

The one thing the Priority No requires is…yes, you guessed it…Priorities!  Even if you work in an environment where priorities are not discussed – or things are unorganized and randomly worked on, you personally, need priorities.  Take this opportunity to review what you are doing and make sure you are on track to reach your goals.  In order to reach your goals, my guess is that you’ll need to set priorities.  I love this method of saying no because it always pulls me back to what’s really important.  Now, I just have to remember to use it!

3.  The Full Plate No.  This is the one you use with your friends and co-workers when they want to rope you into another “good cause” for which you really don’t have time.  For example, for the past 5 years you have enjoyed organizing the office holiday party. This year, however, you have begun taking night classes and you are too overloaded to organize the party.  So, when they ask you about organizing the party again this year, you simply say, “Thank you for asking, however, my plate is really full right now, I’m going to have to pass on organizing the party this year.”

Notice how simple this is!  No long list of reasons or excuses, just a simple “no thank you.”  It’s a clean and simple get-away, and leaves everyone feeling positive.  This Full Plate No leaves you feeling empowered as you draw clear boundaries, and leaves the other person impressed you were able to clearly express your desires.

If saying No is a difficult area for you, I want to recommend a fabulous book by Lysa TerKeurst called The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands. This is a terrific, practical, best seller by one of my favorite women.  Lysa dives deeply into this topic and give you practical strategies you can put in place to make sure you are living out The Best Yes!

This is Day 15 of 31 Days of Powerful Communication Skills for Women. You can read all of my #31Days posts here. And check out The Nester’s #Write31Days blog for other great 31 day series.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these techniques to help you say No.  I’d love to hear your experience.  Please leave your comments below.

The post Day 15 – 3 Ways to Say NO, Nicely. Part 2 (#31days) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• The importance of being proactive with your activities (and what happens when you aren’t!)
• What happens when you switch careers mid-life
• Why difficulties are not the end of the story
• “We learn the most when we feel weakest and most afraid”

Part 2: What I learned when I felt my weakest and most afraid

1. Look at myself first
2. I can let go of the outcome and trust God
3. Just do the next right thing

Website links:  (This week we discussed)

 https://loriandsteven.wordpress.com/

www.sacredspace.ie

www.momastery.com

Lori and Steven’s Recommended Reading and Resources:

15 Ways to Make Love Impossible, by Lori and Steven McClure

Noisetrade – Free Download of their book here

The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out, by Brennan Manning.

A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis.

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  2 Corinthians 12:9 (New Living Translation)   “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

Question:  What was the most encouraging part of this interview?  Are you going through any rough times that would make these ideas helpful?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.  And I’d love to pray for you too. Please leave your comments below.

The post #026: Lori and Steven McClure and Learning through Weakness (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• Best practices for how to start (and run) a business with a friend
• The importance of transparency and forgiveness
• How to tap into the power of mentorship
• Strategies for handling conflicts when they arise

Part 2:  Forgiveness

• Is a choice
• Requires action (and it’s HARD!)
• Must be practiced
• Will reach it’s conclusion

Website Links:

www.strongbodywholeheart.com

www.facebook.com/strongbodywholeheart

www.twitter.com/sbwheart

http://instagram.com/sbsheart_kelly,     http://instagram.com/sbwheart_maggie

Recommended Reading:
Forgiveness: Finding Peace Through Letting Go, by Adam Hamilton

Courage: Igniting Self-Confidence, by Debbie Ford

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Brene Brown

Encouraging Word of the Week: Matthew 6:9-13 – The Lord’s Prayer     “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Question:  Have you ever thought of starting a business with a friend?  Did you do it?  Why or Why not?  What about the transparency section of this show?  Is that something you struggle with or is it more natural for you?  Finally, how have you experienced forgiveness in your life?  I’d love to read your thoughts and answers below!

The post #022: Strong Body Whole Heart – Kelly & Maggie and Forgiveness (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:  Interview

• The power of friendship
• The true nature of God – Redeemer!
• The importance of routine
• Protecting your time

Part 2:  4 Keys to Growing Friendships

1. Be Friendly
2. Be Authentic
3. Be Giving
4. Be there

Website links:

www.kaybruner.com  This is Kay’s home base and where you can find everything from her blog to her book to her favorite things.  Tons of great information and encouragement here.

Kay’s Recommended Reading:
As Soon As I Fell: A Memoir by Kay Bruner.  I had to put this at the top of the list.  Please get this to support Kay!  Fabulous!

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  A classic on how to set boundaries for yourself.  I need to get this one out and re-read it.  I love this book!

The Search For Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes, by  Robert McGee.  A classic.  Once again, so thankful to be reminded to get this back out and re-read it.  I first read it in college – ‘ya think I might have a different perspective now?

Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith, by Anne Lamott.  I was a bit skeptical of this author…until I read her!  I would love to meet her in person.  What an honest voice.  If you have never read her personal works – by all means start here!

Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging, by Brennan Manning.  New to me.  After reading about this book, I will be adding it to my “must read” list.

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom, by Henri Nouwen.  Wow!  This book looks like one we all could benefit from.  Another that’s on its way to my house.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Colossians 3:12-14   “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Question:  What was your favorite part of this interview?  Did her story resonate with you like it did with me?  Which part gave you chills?  And do you live like you are “Loved, Safe and Chosen?”   I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The post #021: Kay Bruner – Authenticity and Friendship (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself just kind of “in a funk”.  Leaving the house in a rush and escaping to a restaurant to read and write and work because I don’t want to say a truthful thing to a house guest who hurt my feelings.

I fall into the same pattern of behaviors that have ill-served me over the years.  Apparently I’m pretty good at persuasive communication and not-so-hot at honest, vulnerable communication.  So instead of saying, “Wow, that behavior of yours hurt me,” I grab my computer, books and rush out the door to drop the kids at school and escape the uncomfortable feelings bubbling up inside me.

I am obviously bothered by these feelings because I woke up this morning at 2:17am just in time to watch the Amtrack train cross the trestle heading south.  And when I couldn’t go back to sleep by 3:30, I slipped to the kitchen for my cure-all, Advil, and went back to bed deeply breathing my mantra “God made me enough” over and over again.

And these feelings rage around inside of me and I can’t figure out how to say it nicely.  And then I read the blog posts of my most current wonder-woman Crystal Paine and think how little I”m producing and how slow my progress and all the other not-enough lies that come from comparison and I wonder if any of my dear readers ever feel this same way?

Do you have an agenda list 2 miles long and somehow just can’t seem to get accomplished what you want to get accomplished?  Do you have things to say and instead of being Brave (Brene Brown) or a Warrior (Glenna Melton) you suck it back inside and smolder?  I’m sorry if you do this.  I’m sorry I do this.  I want to be the woman who bravely speaks and lives her truth.

You might even look at me and think, “Christy is a clear communicator,” “She speaks the truth in love,” but then you would be looking at my outside and not my stress-induced rash or my marriage that’s in a hard spot or my sadness with some of my most personal relationships.

My dear sisters.  We are on a journey and I want to encourage you on yours while I encourage myself on mine.  I will write this post and maybe post it, and then I will create my own list of 3 4 things I will do to pull myself out of this pit and get busy doing what I was put on earth to do.

1. Remember that your mission is uniquely your own.  The journey you are on only you can travel. You are the right person for the right job.  Claim your mission with thankfulness. Here’s mine.  God first cliche, but true – Oh how He loves you and me! My Husband, love him unconditionally.  My children love them without expectations.  My work/health.  Programs to write, people to encourage, miles to run.
2. Revisit your Goals.  What is the most important next step?  See programs to write, above.
3. Get busy doing something of value that will move you towards those goals.  Don’t check Facebook or read over other (better) blogs.  Get busy producing.  I always feel better when I produce.
4. Ignore the other 3 things until you face your fear.  Say the uncomfortable thing you need to say.  (More action!)  Today I will be brave.  I promise you I will figure out the words to say.  I will not try to convince.  I will be honest and vulnerable.  Yuck.  Just thinking about it twists my gut into a knot.  But I will do this today first because I want to grow.  I want to start defaulting into the better choices instead of the old ones that produce negative results.  And I know I have to practice to get better.  Today I will practice.

And so I offer to you these thoughts.  My heart hopes you will not judge me too harshly.  Instead, I hope you find some encouragement in my struggling path for your own path.  Maybe you will even feel better because this is not your struggle.  You got this!  Be thankful, and pass this along to someone in your life who is struggling.  Because maybe she needs to be reminded that she really is the right person for her right job and the world is waiting.

Deuteronomy 31:6  “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Question:  I’ll leave my results from today in the comments section. I’d love to hear your results too!  Please encourage me by leaving your comments below.

The post Practice Makes…A Life appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas:

Part 1:

• Sometimes it takes someone else to see the gift in you – even before you see it yourself – you’ll learn how what she feared the most became her life passion
• The power of alone time with your kids
• How doing something you love can sometimes lead you into a career you love

Part 2:

• What kind of a friend are you?
• How you can strengthen your friendships this week

Website links:

www.nancysuttonpierce.com

www.consciousLivingYoga.com

You can also find Nancy on FB at Conscious Living Yoga

Encouraging Word of the Week: 1 John 4:18 “There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.” (The Message)

Question:  What do you do to foster your friendships? Has there been a time when your friends got you through?

The post #018: Nancy Sutton Pierce – Conscious Living (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Here’s a list of the books I read to avoid my “to do” list.  (They are all really good books!)  I talk about them a bit in the podcast too.

The Bookman’s Tale: A Novel of Obsession, by Charlie Lovett

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know

You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, by Dr. Joe Dispenza

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown

On Writing: 10th Anniversary Edition: A Memoir of the Craft, by Stephen King

All In: You Are One Decision Away From a Totally Different Life, by Mark Batterson

The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, Lysa TerKeurst

So, there’s a huge list of ways to avoid doing what you need to be doing. Only one of these was really directly impacting something on my list. (Lysa’s book)

Strategies for you to implement to reclaim your light:

1. Figure out what you really want.  And find the fear that’s keeping you stuck.  (Fear of Not enough, Fear of Rejection or Fear of Success)
2. Take the first steps towards what you want.
3. Let yourself celebrate your victory.  (Even if it seem insignificant in the overall effort.)

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Matthew 5: 14-16  “You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

The post #017: Throw Down Fear and Light Up (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Key Ideas From this Interview:

• The Power of Friendship
• The importance of supporting each other as women
• Getting through difficult times with grace
• Imperfect is perfect

Website Referenced in Podcast:  http://www.derailingmydiagnosis.com

Best Book Resources: 

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Part 2: How to Develop and Deepen Your Friendships

1. Make friendship a priority — schedule time for this
2. Nurture your friendships
3. Look for places to connect with like-minded people
4. Be friendly

Resources for Developing Friendships:

How to Win Friends & Influence People
This book is just a classic.  Although some of the wording is a bit “old fashioned” the principles are timeless and you’ll be able to use and apply idea after idea.   As an added bonus, the first person to subscribe, rate and review this podcast in iTunes will get this book as a gift from me.  Just email me and let me know you wrote the review and I’ll get the book out to you.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 17:17 –  “A friend loves at all times.”

Question:  What do you think makes a great friend? How do you nurture your friendships? Do you have any examples of a friend who showed you out of the ordinary love?  Please leave your comments below.

The post #010: Naomi Yamamoto – Cultivating Connections and How To Be a Great Friend (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

Prior to 2007 Doni was an award-winning newspaper opinion columnist, feature and food writer recognized by the Associated Press, the California Newspaper Publishers Association and E.W. Scripps. She is a graduate of Chico State University and she lives in Redding, CA.

Key Ideas From this Interview:

• How to overcome adversity when (not if!) it hits, both professional and personally
• Strategies you can use to make your calendar your best boundary enforcer
• The home cook’s best friend
• A surprise ending that will shock and encourage you

Best Book Resource: 
The Anatomy of Story: 22 Steps to Becoming a Master Storyteller

Website: anewscafe.com

Part 2: How to Stop Procrastinating

1. Get Clear on What You Want
2. Write it down
3. Start! – Big or Little, just do something
4. Reward yourself
5. Bonus Idea:  Get really good at your top 3 (hint, you’re less likely to procrastinate on what you love)

Resources for Procrastination:

Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time

The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results

Both of these books will serve you very well in staying on target and moving yourself forward.  Both have been huge in my own life.  And as an added bonus, the first 2 people to subscribe, rate and review in iTunes will get 1 of these books.  Just email me and let me know you wrote the review and I’ll get the books out to you.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Proverbs 16:9 – (Hebrew Names Version)  “A man’s heart plans his course, But the LORD directs his steps.”

Question:  What do you procrastinate on the most?  What keeps you from starting?  What was most compelling from today’s show?  Please leave your comments below.

The post #009: Doni Chamberlain – Media Expert, Entrepreneur and How to Stop Procrastinating (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

From 1999 to 2004 Laurie raced on a top ten world class adventure racing team. She won the California Outdoor Hall of Fame Award in 2006, and her story has been featured in The San Francisco Chronicle, The Sacramento Bee, Her Sports and Enjoy Magazine. Laurie Bagley holds a Master’s degree in Outdoor Leadership.  Of course, her favorite role is that of mother.

Key Ideas From this Interview:

• Suggestions for how to fit fitness into your busy life
• Strategies you can use to overcome adversity and challenges, including Fear
• Creative ways to find a mentor
• Steps you can take now to achieve big goals

Best Book Resource: (She wrote this!)
Summit!: One Woman’s Mount Everest Climb Guides You to Success

Here’s what Brian Tracy, author of “No Excuses, The Power of Self Discipline,” and personal growth guru, says about Laurie’s book: “This exciting book shows you how to set big, inspiring goals, and then back them with desire, discipline and determination.”     I think you’ll love the book too!

Website: www.lauriebagley.com

Part 2: SMART Goals

• Specific – Details that are specific, not general
• Measurable – Able to be measured to see if you’ve completed the goal
• Attainable – Something that is actually possible to do
• Realistic – Something that is not only possible, but realistic – for you
• Timely or Time Sensitive – There is an element of time to the goal

This is a quick overview of what I discuss in detail and with examples in the last portion of the show.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Question:  What are some of your goals?  How are you working towards them?  Are they SMART goals?  I’d love to hear what you’re working towards.  Please leave your comments below.

The post #008: Laurie Bagley – Everest Summit, Overcoming Fear and Goal Setting (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.