When I started Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, I had a tiny idea of what to expect.  After all, my friend, Michele Cushatt, speaker, blogger, co-host of the top rated podcast This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt, MC for Women of Faith, had been diagnosed with cancer last year.  Or should I say re-diagnosed.  So I knew she had some challenging times in her past and present, I just didn’t know how earth shattering those challenges really were.

Most of us would be buried under the weight of those burdens.  Broken marriage. Single parenting.  Blended family.  Cancer.  Rebellious kids.  Foster parenting. Cancer again.  And again.  Oh my!

But the reason I want you to read this book is not because of how horrible it all is, but how incredibly wonderful it all is.  That’s right.  Wonderful.  Because Michele shares the entire story with an underlying peace and calm that’s completely inspiring.  Her faith is deep and her writing is lyrical, so you are carried along.  Even in the midst of becoming Undone, this really is, as her tag line reads, A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life.

She weaves so many ideas throughout this wrenchingly honest and brave memoir, it’s hard to pick just a few.  But of course I did (since I love 3-point take-aways), and following are 3 things I want you to remember the next time YOU are coming Undone.

1.  With God’s help, You can do what you never imagined you could do.  When Michele was struggling with chronic pain, a body that wouldn’t heal, and a root canal in an already raw mouth, she realized she was booked to speak at a huge women’s conference.  This was an opportunity she had worked for and was really looking forward to.  But seriously. Picture yourself in that situation.  As my mother would say, “She was just beside herself.”

But God.  Michele’s prayer, “God.  I have nothing.  Nothing.  You’re going to have to show up in a big way.  The Advil too.  I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”  

Here’s what happened,

“For two days, women who heard my story lined up at my book table, one by one sharing their own stories of heartache;  of broken marriages, wayward children, and the difficult wrestlings of this life of faith.  Again and again, I abandoned a chair to grasp hands with a stranger, close my eyes and pray.  Together we poured out our hearts to a God we desperately needed but didn’t always understand.  Real, broken, in-progress women trying so very hard to live.”

Yup.  What you never thought you could do.

2.  There is good to come out of bad.  There really is a silver lining.  Story after story Michele weaves a beautiful tapestry out of all the yuck she has waded through.

• A failed marriage brought a brand new ministry to single moms.  And more.
• A tough new marriage and blended family brought a new appreciation for  imperfection and second chances.  And more.
• Cancer.  And more cancer.  I can’t even start on that list — too many good things to write down in this post!  Can you even believe that!!  It’s true!

And my biggest take-away of all…

3.  Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to start! Make the most of what IS.  Michele had some of the most magical opportunities presented to her in the midst of her cancer and other challenges.  Many of us might have passed on the opportunities because of all the other stuff going on.  But not Michele.  We can learn from her choices.

When prospects of a quickly approaching empty nest were put to bed on the heels of “one phone call that came with three children,” Michele and her husband moved forward into their new life.  It wasn’t pretty, but they didn’t shun the opportunity because it wasn’t what they had imagined.  Instead they embraced it.   And when you read the book, you’ll understand all the beauty that came (and is coming) from that choice.

Can you tell I loved this book!   If you’ve ever felt just a tad bit “Undone” then get this book.  If you have a friend who is the midst of “Undone”, then get this book and give it to her.  Your friend will thank you.  Michele will thank you.  I’ll thank you.

Because really, isn’t that what it’s all about as we struggle through this life?  Encouraging each other.  Loving each other.  All because HE first loved us.  Making the most of every day because the days are short.

Love ya!

Christy

Question:  What are some of the ways you are able to survive when you’re coming undone?  Please leave your answers below, or in the comments on FB or Twitter.

Note: Quotes are from Michele Cushatt’s book, Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life. All rights reserved.

The post 3 Things to Remember When You Are Coming Undone appeared first on Christy Largent.

• The various avenues for adoption
• Who is a good candidate to adopt (and who isn’t!)
• Ways to find out more about adoption…

And a ton more…be sure to listen to be enlightened and inspired.

Resources:

www.focusonthefamily.com  A great resource for all things adoption.  Tons of information!

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge.  I mentioned this last week, and it’s one of the top-most recommended books on adoption Diane and I both recommend.

Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past by Betsy Keefer and Jayne E. Schooler.  Another practical resource.

And on Lifebooks:

Before You Were Mine: Discovering Your Adopted Child’s Lifestory by Susan TeBos.

Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child Updated and Revised by Beth O’Malley M.Ed. – so good to do together with your child.

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Isaiah 1:17  “Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.”

The post #031: Diane Largent – More Adoption Stories (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

If you are interested in adoption, how it works, who it’s a fit for and how to get started, then you’ll love this podcast. I don’t have a lot of notes this week, as the story is the main thing, but I did want to give you a few great resources if you are curious and want to learn more information.

www.adoption.com  – This is a literal bounty of information on all things adoption.  Seriously.  Start here.

www.adoptionhorizons.com – This is the agency we worked with.  Super awesome!

www.bethany.org – Bethany Christian Services is a non-profit dedicated to helping families.  Specifically in the areas of foster care, adoption and post-adoptive support.  It’s a great agency.  I’m biases because my sister-in-law used to work for them.  Local offices can be found nationwide.

www.adoptivefamilies.com – This is a magazine, but it also has good information on its website.

You can read all about our adoption journey to get Graham here and at joyfuljourneyexperience.blogspot.com

I’m also so fortunate to have won 2 tickets to this adoption conference next year.  Created For Care is a conference for adoptive moms.  My friend who adopted a sibling group of 4 from Etheopia is coming with me.  She went last year and said it was fantastic.  I’ll have to do an update in February after I’ve attended.  I do know they have lots of ongoing support, so be sure to check out their beautiful website.  Thanks Mary Ostyn at OwlHaven for the generous gift!  Can’t wait!

Of course, I have to showcase some of my favorite books to recommend for adoption:

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge. This is a classic. I have read it several times. It’s really difficult to get through, but sometimes we have to look at what’s uncomfortable to do the best for our children. This book is a must if you are thinking of and/or have adopted.

And for after you have adopted…20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed..Discover the Unique Need of Your Adopted Child and Become the Best Parent You Can, also by Sherrie Eldridge.

And this book,  Adoption For Dummies, helped us get an overview of adoption.  Although today, I think you could do better research online at the websites I listed above.

Additionally, there are a bounty of adoption agencies.  Just google adoption and your city and see what pops up.  I’d love to hear about your journey too!

Encouraging Word of the Week:  Ephesians 1:5 “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”

Question:  Have you ever considered adoption?  Why or why not?  What did you relate to from our adoption story?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please comment below.

The post #030: Christy Largent – Our Adoption Story (Podcast) appeared first on Christy Largent.

It was December 2003 and my husband and I had been married almost a year.  In light of the fact I was 40 and had also experienced some infertility issues in my 20’s we knew our time to conceive was limited.  My sweet husband Tom wanted children.  All I had ever wanted was to be a mother, but by this point, I had just about given up that dream and was really enjoying my life as it had turned out.  Lots of travel, a speaking career I loved and lazy Sunday afternoons were my norm and I wasn’t in too much of a hurry to change it.  In addition, I had an aversion to adoption.

But doggone it, during a lovely December week in Maui, Tom made it clear he wanted to explore our options.  So since I was teaching this thing called “Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone” I knew I must not be a fake and I better live what I was teaching.  So I bought a book.  (Of course!)  That book, Adoption For Dummies, was just what I needed to get the conversation started.

Interestingly, it was one of my audience members who helped me make the shift.  During a program in Boulder, mid-December of 2003, he had volunteered the fact that he was an adoptive Dad.  When he spoke of his 2 girls, he literally “glowed”.  As he was leaving that day, I stopped him at the door and asked if I could get a bit more of his story.  He lovingly described how he and his wife had adopted from both Korea and Vietnam, and how the adoptions had enhanced their lives more than they could ever have imagined.  He highly recommended we look into international adoption.

International adoption.  Now that was interesting to me.   I had always loved to travel and had spent a high school summer in Spain and a year teaching english in Hungary.  So with a renewed focus I continued my research and discovered that China was a perfect fit for us.  At that time, Chinese international adoption was a smoothly running machine.  In addition, their adoption requirements were a perfect match for Tom and myself.  They liked older, financially secure, stable couples.  So China was our choice.

But where to get more information?  In those early internet days, information was spotty and in our small town, even more so.  But in a way only God could orchestrate, I was actually in town, speaking to a group of women when I mentioned I was looking into adoption from China.  At the end of my program, a woman came up and said she recommended I call a friend of hers who she believed had adopted from China already.  I called the woman that afternoon and discovered her children were adopted from Korea, but that they were going to participate in a Chinese New Year celebration THE NEXT NIGHT right there in Redding.

The timing was impeccable.  Not only was I home that week (at that time I was traveling 2-3 weeks a month), but the fact I had connected with her just 1 day before the once a year event was just beyond words.  The next night we headed to the event and met 40 other people who had either already adopted from Asia, or were in the process.  We also met a couple who had just signed up with an agency we had not heard of before and they were generous to share all their information with us.

The Chinese New Year celebration was the last weekend of January 2004.  We signed with the agency in February.  Our paperwork went to China in May.  December 20, 2004, in Chongqing, China, we met our daughter Amelia.  It was the best Christmas ever.

So now, 10 years later, our travel has included an additional trip to China in 2008 to adopt little brother Graham, and is mostly family trips.  My speaking career no longer includes non-stop travel and Sunday afternoons are rarely called lazy.  But motherhood.  Now that’s another post.  It’s really been the Best. Thing. Ever.

Question:  What do you think about adoption?  Have you ever considered it?  Would you ever consider it?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please comment below.

The post Our Adoption Story-The Beginnings appeared first on Christy Largent.