Oh wait?  You don’t? You say you don’t feel like that, but that you feel overwhelmed. Discouraged. Stressed out.  Oh, good.  Me too.  You’re in the right place, so you’d better read on.

As I was considering what I could write that would be of value to you this weekend, I was reminded that the root of so much of our difficulties during the holidays (and all year long, actually) is nothing more than comparison in disguise.

Comparison.  I’m sure you’re aware of the obvious ways comparison sneaks in.  Fakebook err, Facebook being the easiest and most obvious example.  Instagram and even highly anticipated holiday letters can be added to the list.

It’s easy to recognize the way Facebook makes us compare isn’t it?  Your decorations/children/vacations/husband/job/home/car/jewelry are nothing like the perfect neighbor down the street or the blogger across the country are they?

But, have you ever thought of the most insidious ways comparison sneaks into your life?

Have you ever stopped to consider that every time you compare your current reality with the one that you wish you had, you are setting yourself up for dissatisfaction, discontent, discouragement and even depression.

Worst of all, comparison devalues what is.  A basic tenant of The Grace Advantage is to “Accept What Is”  You can’t do that when you are comparing.  Because when you compare, you always come out the loser.  You are the loser when you feel pride of how much better you are and you are the loser when you see how much “less than” your life is.

Ouch!  Comparison cuts deep even when it’s just with our own idealized ideas of who we or our family should be or could be or even worse, ought to be.

If you’re feeling defeated, here are 3 simple words that just might help.

1.  Gratitude.  Before you start running down the list of “lack” in your mind this morning, stop and give thanks.  Look around you.  Gather your family close and kiss their sweet cheeks and say thank you.  Thank God for a roof over your head (even if it’s leaking!)  Thank Him for your car.  Thank Him for money to buy gas.  Thank Him for the abundance that allows your jeans to get tighter.  Ahem.  Thank Him for the challenging job that takes every negotiating skill you have.  Get the picture?  Get thankful.

2.  Giving.  Give up and give out. Give up your schedule to snuggle close and watch your son play Angry Birds. Give up your plans for the afternoon to meet your husband for lunch.  Give up your expectations for perfection and enjoy the beauty of the imperfection of life.

Give out of your abundance and out of your lack.  Any cans in the pantry you could share with the mission this weekend?  Any books you could pass along to the library? Scheduling time to ring the Salvation Army bell with your kids in front of Target is given out of your lack of time isn’t it? Yet you can choose to do it.

Giving requires you stop the navel-gazing and take a look around.  Who needs what you have?  You do have to look at yourself – but through the prism of how what you have and more importantly, who you are, can benefit others.  You are who you are and with what you have because there is an impact you can make.  It’s not all about you!  (Reminding myself too!!)  It’s not all about you.  But all about others and the impact you can make in their life.  Get giving.

3.  Grace.  Undeserved favor.  Who can you bless with grace this week?  Who can you love and accept just as they are?  Right now!  Without fixing a single thing about them.  Without expecting anything in return.  Undeserved favor.  We all need it.  We all can live it.

When we are thankful, giving and full of grace, suddenly comparison shows up as the ugly impostor it really is.  The counterfeit sensations comparison imparts fade quickly in the face of authentic living.  Living out gratitude.  Living out Generosity.  Living out Grace.

Now let’s get going!  I’ll meet you at the mall.

Question:  How does comparison rob you of joy?  What do you do that works to help you stop comparing?  I’d love to hear your stories.  Please leave a comment below.

The post 3 Words That Can Change Everything appeared first on Christy Largent.

So how did that make you feel?  If you’re like I am, you experienced joy, disbelief, laughter, tears and an overall feeling of happiness, wellbeing and goodwill towards man.  That’s what happens when generosity infects the environment.

But what does generosity look like when you don’t have a multi-million-dollar budget and a video capturing every moment?  In other words, how can we live generously every day?  Here are some thoughts…

Generosity in your workplace might look like a bringing a co-worker a cup of coffee or an apple back from the break room.  It might look like scrambling to help a team member finish a presentation on time.  It might even look like sharing resources and best practices although it brings you no immediate gain. (Thank you Shout Out to www.michaelhyatt.com…love that man and his team!)

Generosity in your friendships might mean going to that lunch place you don’t really care for but your girlfriend loves.  Or how about listening to a story you’ve heard your co-worker tell for the 5th time, and you show just as much interest as the first time you heard it.   Even more powerfully, a generous friend will tell you the truth…speaking the truth in love even when the truth hurts.

Generosity at home might be seen when you cheerfully take out the trash even though you hate to do it.  It’s when you listen to your 4th grader read when you would rather be watching the game.  It’s when you make arrangements for a babysitter and surprise your mate with a special night out.  Generosity is when you let go of what hurts you have experienced and look for the best rather than expect the worst.

A Generous Giver is someone who does not always demand to do things their way.  They give from their heart without expecting payback.  They share from what they have with a happy heart attitude. When you give generously, you give from a place of abundance, whether you are actually experiencing abundance at that time or not..it’s your inside attitude that shows on the outside.

How do you like being around generous people?  I love it.  When I’m with my generous girlfriend, I feel inspired to be more generous myself.  And that’s the kind of person I aim to be.  How about you?

Question:  When have you experienced generosity and what did it look like for you?  What difference would it make in your life if you chose to live generously? 

The post Where Can You Find Generosity? appeared first on Christy Largent.

Have you ever felt like you were under a microscope and every word you said, every gesture you made, every expression that crossed your face, was immediately jumped on, examined, judged and found wanting?

If so, then you’ve experience the exact OPPOSITE of The Grace Advantage. When you experience The Grace Advantage in your home or workplace, you are in a place of safety. A place where you can feel free to be yourself with out judgement, without negativity, without criticism. Sound good? Want to find out more? Read on dear reader, read on.

The Grace Advantage is really Foundational Communication Principles at work. I’ve chosen to spell out GRACE to explain it a little better.

The Grace Advantage means you choose to…

Be Generous. Generosity, according to my online dictionary, is a “readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected.” Can you be generous? First you must be generous with yourself, then with others.

Recognize Uniqueness. Reframe your view. From strange, different or wrong, to unique! Recognize the value in the person. Recognize the value in the situation. Recognize how powerful you can be as you reframe your vision.

Accept What Is. I “give up” trying to change others. I accept a given situation as reality, rather than pretending it’s something it’s not. I accept that the current reality, IS. When you accept, you release a TON of tension, and open the door to positive movement.

Communicate (Speak) the Truth in Love. I stop ignoring problems hoping they will just go away. I thoughtfully look for ways to communicate most effectively. I learn how to incorporate words that heal. I eliminate words that hurt and harm. Boy am I convicted by this! Last night, as my 10-year-old daughter got ready to go to bed, I reminded her, “Tomorrow morning you have to take a shower. You stink and your hair is disgusting”. Niiiice, Mama. (I say in full sarcasm mode…) Oh my, am I ever convicted. I would call this the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I should have said…Good thing I’m writing this blog post to remind myself of who I really want to be. That ugly, critical Mother is NOT it for sure!! Today, I will choose to speak words that help and encourage.

Expect the Best. I expect the best in people. I anticipate positive outcomes. I look for creative ways to turn negatives into positives. I ignore and avoid negative people and situations. Once again, there is tremendous power for you once you recognize that your outlook will affect the outcome.

This is just a quick overview of the Grace Advantage, but wouldn’t you love to live and work in this kind of an environment? Wouldn’t you love to BE this kind of person? Me too! I’m so excited to explore this more over the coming weeks.

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How can you add some GRACE to your daily activities? How do you fail? How do you win? Please share your stories below.

The post The Grace Advantage appeared first on Christy Largent.